Just as I hit the lower step of the house stairs, ready to run into bed, I hear her voice.
“Oh Hazel dear,” Evelyn coos, leaning against the door. “How was the beach?”
I blink rapidly, trying to dispel the moisture in them. “Great,” I say tersely, prepared to shoulder past her.
Evelyn giggles, taking a sip from her mug of tea. “It looked like you were having a great time. He’s great by the way.”
Great.
What was her definition of great?
I just nod, reaching for the handle of the bedroom door, waiting for Evelyn to finish speaking.
“Did you black mail him or something?” she asks lightly, as if talking to herself.
I flinch, my grip tightening on the handle.
“No wait,” she laughs, pouting her lips “let me guess, you pitied him into it”
“Evelyn, leave me alone,” I say quietly, hearing the downstairs door open as people enter the house again.
“You’re hiding something and I’m going to find out about it,” Evelyn reminds me, tapping a delicate finger against her chin.
I sigh, closing my eyes for a brief second. “You can do whatever you want. I don’t care.”
Opening the door a tiny inch, I slip into the quiet room and shut the door firmly behind me, locking it.
I don’t hear the quiet click of her heels walk away until a few minutes later.
Exhaling in relief, I slip off my swim suit and T-shirt, the sand sashaying down onto the wooden paneling.
Every one of my bones ached, the exhaustion settling in thick.
Grabbing Coda’s oversized T-shirt, the one I’ve been sleeping in for weeks, I quickly pull it on and slip into bed.
Everything’s been pretty uneventful these past days, my mom and Gwen still in town finishing up some last minute wedding issues.
Snuggling deeper into the covers, I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to ignore the clear absence on the spot of the bed beside me.
I missed Gwen. A lot.
She was always the one to anchor me down when things like this happened. She made me feel like even if I was overacting, it was reasonable because nothing that bothered her little sister was unimportant.
Why couldn’t I just be like Gwen? Confident and able to speak her mind?
Well, what was keeping me from that?
Even I didn’t know the answer to that.
Burying my face in my pillow, I drown out all my thoughts and listen to the quiet crash and lull of the ocean.
~*~
Everything was dark and still.
Glancing at my phone, the clock reads 2:07 in bright red.
I stretch, groaning a bit when I realize that I’ve slept through the entire afternoon.
That was like what, 6 or seven hours of sleep?
Feeling my tummy rumble, I sit up in bed and scratch my head. There had to be left overs somewhere in the kitchen.
Groggily pulling on some sweat pants, I unlock my door to go down stairs.
Just as I suspected, everyone’s asleep- or at least that’s what I was thinking until I saw the light from the kitchen.
Peeking past the wall, I see Coda lounging back on a chair, looking deep in thought with a water bottle clutched in his hand.
Turning on me heel and prepared to scamper up back to my room, I almost fully turn when Coda speaks up.
“Go ahead and grab the ice-cream you came down for,” he tells me blankly, not even looking at me.
How did he even see me?
Straightening, I turn back to face the kitchen before stiffly making my way over to the freezer.
Neither of us says anything, the silent tension palpable as I pull out a spoon.
Deciding to just lean against the counter, I waste no time in shoving down a spoonful of creamy goodness.
About ten spoonfuls in, Coda finally speaks, his back to me.
“I told everyone you’re just catching up on sleep from the long weeks of travel,” Coda informs me, his tone low-something I’ve noticed happens when he tense.
“Thanks,” I say softly,
More silence.
It felt so wrong, standing here so close to him but not saying what I was thinking.
I guess it was my fault.
“Do you really only think of me as a contracted object that you hired for the summer?” Coda asks abruptly.
Freezing, the spoon halfway to my mouth, I stare at him in surprise, waiting for him to continue.
He doesn’t.
“N-No,” I stutter, dropping the spoon back into the container. “I really don’t- I-I-I”
I can’t even get the words out as I stare at him in bewilderment, his back to me. His hands are clenched tightly, the water bottle looking crumpled.
“You’re more than just a contract, you’re-“
I stop.
No, don’t say that to him.
Don’t be unfair and tell him about your feelings.
We had a deal, nothing more.
Coda turns his head slightly, as if waiting for me to finish the rest of my words.
When I don’t say anything though, he closes his eyes, crushing the empty water bottle in his hand.
“I’m not an object you can just loan to someone else whenever you please. They think I’m your boyfriend and allowing Ellie to take me out alone makes it seem like you don’t care,” Coda tells me, his face hard as he stands up.
“Coda-“ I say defensively as he walks away angrily.
Feeling my eyes burn, I toss the nearly empty tub of ice-cream into the sink.
My throat aches, a part of me angry that he thinks that I’m trying to loan him out but the other part of me feeling guilty as heck.
He had a point.
It was a bit rude of me to just nod and let Ellie believe that she could just take Coda from me
I sigh heavily, knowing that I messed up big time.
Having no other choice, I flip off the lights and trudge through the kitchen area back up the stairs.
Trailing my fingers over the walls, I count the doors, passing my room and turning a corner to where I know Coda’s room is.
There were strict rules about girls sleeping in guy’s rooms made by my dad but he wouldn’t know.
I don’t even think about knocking until my hand is already on the handle of his door, which surprisingly unlocked.
Before I can change my mind, I pull the handle down and slip into the darkened room.
It was pitch dark except for the thin stream of moonlight barely showing Coda’s silhouette.
He doesn’t say anything as I approach him, tiptoeing across the room.
He turns in bed so his back is facing me and I feel like crap, not liking the fact that he was still angry.
“I-I want to show you something outside…if you want to come,” I say quietly, feeling vulnerable.
He doesn’t answer me and my heart sinks. “I think you’re an amazing person who’s helped me through a lot and I owe you and I’m sorry, I understand if-if you’re still mad,” I continue, feeling like I was only digging myself further into a hole.
Not even waiting for a response that would never come, I scurry out of his room, down the stairs to the back yard.
I breathe heavily, my heart pounding.
I had almost forgotten how it felt to have a crush.
Knowing I had a crush on Coda wasn’t an epiphany in any sorts- just a calming acceptance.
I know nothing would ever come out of us if the possibility was even an option but that didn’t mean I could stop liking him.
I plop down on the sandy beach, digging my toes into the sand, and closing my eyes for a brief second. The lull of the ocean pulls with a force and I briefly think about going for a swim.
Now that I was here, I had to be prepared to actually carry out the plan. Even if the contract-meeting Coda, blackmailing him and bribing him with money to be my pretend boyfriend, was all on irrational impulsiveness, I had to do it now.
What was I even doing?
I felt beyond guilty for fooling the people that actually cared for me but at the same time, Evelyn’s shocked face was too good to pass.
For once, I felt like not only had I proved her wrong about getting a boyfriend, I got one ten times better than hers.
But then I screwed it all up by being selfish. Of course Coda felt offended when I said Ellie could take him.
Groaning, I grovel the palm of my hands into my eye sockets just wanting to grab some more ice-cream.
He’s not going to come.
In fact, I bet he’s sleeping, cuddled up with all his pillows and snoring Uncle Ned when Aunt Mill placed a clothes pin over his nose.
Flopping back into the grainy sand, I stare up at the night sky, freckles of bright balls of fire glinting.
Years ago, when we went to this place for vacation, my dad and I would come out here every night just to star gaze.
Too engrossed in staring at the stars and trying to sub consciously not think about crawling crabs, I don’t notice him until he is standing above me.
“I couldn’t sleep. Jet lag or something,” he says gruffly, dropping a blanket onto my stomach.
Despite his tough exterior, I find myself cracking a grin, a warm feeling spreading through my chest. He even brought a blanket.
Coda stoops down to lie down beside me, his shoulder barely brushing mine.
Unable to wipe off the grin on my face, I let a few moments of silence settle in, not wanting to bring up the fact that jet lag only happened on planes…I think.
Not wanting to break the calming silence, I stall our conversation by spreading out the blanket over the both of us, the edges barely covering his body because he was so far away.
“I heard crabs have like this repulsion to blankets,” I say randomly, hinting to Coda.
He turns his head to face me, a bland look on his face as I continue. “…so you should come closer because you know, crabs suck.”
And there it is again, the butterflies fearing rejection hatching thick in my stomach.
There is a long beat of silence during which I think about throwing myself in the crab pit but eventually, Coda sighs heavily and scootches closer.
Feeling the warmth of his body, I smile softly, liking the fact that even though neither of us are perfect beings because of our tempers, there was always someway to make up.
“You see that star right there?” I murmur, lifting my hand to point at one of the brightest stars.
Coda makes a small noise of approval and I need no other encouragement to continue.
“I’m pretty sure that the Big Dipper. My dad used to bring me here all the time and tell me stories about all of the them,” I tell him, not knowing if he’d care, but hoping that he would care because I did.
Coda is silent, the silence no longer hostile but more thoughtful.
“My favorite one is Lyra, it’s somewhere-“ I say out-loud, thinking to myself.
“-It’s, “Coda interrupts, gently taking my hand to guide it over the canvas of black night. “Right here.”
I watch, as he guides my finger to draw the Lyra constellation. Startled at the fact that he knew about constellations, I turn to face him, watching as he stares up at the sky in concentration.
“It’s always the hardest to find in my opinion, but it’s my favorite one too,” he murmurs, never taking his eyes away from the stars. “Story has it Orpheus fell in love with a beautiful nymph, Eurydice, and they married happily but like things having to come to an end, she ended up dying from a snake bite.”
I watch Coda, entranced by this side of the story that I’ve never heard before. The look on his face is tender as he recalls the story in that moment making me feel special because he was explaining something that seemed to be dear to him. He turns his head to look at me and I smile in encouragement for him to continue.
“Orpheus, completely devastated and unwilling to let her go, goes down to the underworld and plays his lyre for Hades. Hades enjoys it so much, he grants Orpheus his wish to bring Eurydice back to earth on one condition: he can’t look back at Eurydice until they leave the mouth of the cave. When they almost reach the entrance, Orpheus, eager to see the love of his life again turns around. The moment he does though, she slips back into the underworld just as he throws his hand out in an attempt to clasp her hand and be clasped in return but it’s too late,” he trails off, lost in thought as a heavy feeling settles over my heart.
“There’s one quote from the Metamorphoses that my mother loved to tell me about over and over again when I was little and it’s been a while but it goes something like Eurydice, dying now a second time, uttered no complaint against her husband. What was there to complain of, that she had been loved? With a last farewell which scarcely reached his ears, she fell back again into the same place from which she had come,” Coda murmurs, the sincerity in his voice and the far-away look in his eyes making my eyes burn. He is silent for a good while, the look on his face that of quiet gratitude as he thinks about his mother.
“It’s one of the most tragic stories I’ve ever heard but the ferocity and devotion to which Orpheus loved Eurydice is something that will be immortalized for time to come with Lyre in the night sky,” Coda finishes, absent mindingly drawing the constellation on the sand beneath us.
Close enough to see the small scar on his jaw, the perfect imperfections chiseling his handsome face, I can barely hold it back when I blurt out: “I’m sorry. Truly, I am sorry for everything.”
Coda looks up, surprised, but I continue, not wanting him to reject my apology without fully hearing it. “-It wasn’t my intent to make you feel like an object that I could loan out, if anything, you are something that come to be beyond replaceable and-and” I stutter with my words, not even able to look at him. “I feel awful already with the idea that I black-mailed/bribed you into this and all I do is treat you like crap but I swear, if you’ll just stay with me for just a little while longer, I promise I’ll be better, i-i-“
Coda interrupts me by moving to cup my face within his palms, a small smile on his lips. He brushes away a stray tear that I hadn’t even realized leaked out.
“You cry baby,” he murmurs, teasingly.
Unable to help it, I laugh, wiping the rest of my tears away, the ache in my throat slowly lessening.
“I know how hard it is with you and your family. It wasn’t very fair of me to jump on you like that after you’ve had to go through years of that. It’ll take time, but you’re not weak Hazel Reed and I know for a fact that one day Evelyn and Ellie will get a severe whooping from you, I just have to wait a little while,” Coda says chuckling, a charming smile playing on his lips. “So I guess the short answer is yes, I’ll forgive you, you dork.”
He stares down at me, the look in his eyes doing nothing to stop the frantic palpitations of my heart.
How I even got here to be with this guy that jumped my car-literally- I don’t even know.
All I can say is that something went right and even if whatever this was didn’t last, I would be happy with the memories because just like he had quoted earlier,
What was there to complain of, that she had been loved?
~*~
A/N- i honestly really enjoyed this chapter so hopefully you did too :) This greek mythology stuff is everything i've learned in latin class so even though latin is a dead language, i guess i learned something lol. check out the song to the right!
(Hopefully you read the chapter before this becuase this is the second half of the chapter).
Don't forget to comment and vote.
Update: Exams are coming up and i can't update often so hopefully you'll be patient with me <3 i love you!