Saturday night. He promised he'd be here in the morning but there was no sign of him. I was lying on my bed and waiting for Bellamy; hoping that when I see him, the bad feeling inside of me would go away. I needed reassurance.
But I got none.
As promised, I kept the window sill open and as Bellamy promised, he jumped inside in a swift move but his posture remained slouchy as he threw his duffle bag on the floor with a loud thump and walked towards me.
"Hey," He greeted me in a hoarse voice.
The dim lights around my bed didn't let me get a proper look at him and he buried his face in my lap as he laid on his stomach.
I forced a smile nevertheless and felt a lump forming in my throat.
Something's wrong. He barely talked to me for five minutes every other day this entire week and even when he did he would rush and leave me confused each time.
I moved my fingers into his hair, trying to run them through it soothingly.
"Hey," I managed to whisper. "Are you alright?"
He chuckled lightly at my question and I didn't know what response I wanted. For some reason I couldn't find the right words to say to him and the air around us was getting tense, making me uncomfortable and awkward.
"I am now." He replied. "I missed you."
"Then you shouldn't have left." I said with a tinge of anger.
Something was wrong and I didn't know who to blame. Myself? Him? No, definitely not him but who? My mind was spiraling with random thoughts and questions that may or may not be irrelevant in this situation.
Before he could react I spoke again, "I'm sorry. I just— I missed you." I ended up saying.
He shifted and turned his head towards the side. I traced the outline of his face, feeling the friction between our skin as my cold finger touched his warm face. He then took my hand in his and brought it to his lips, leaving a lingering kiss on both sides of it. A rush of energy flowed from the spot he kissed, all the way to my heart which made it beat fast.
"Don't be sorry. I had a shit week, hate me all you want for leaving you." He said while playing with my fingers.
Despite being worried about him, I smiled. I couldn't hate him, not ever.
"Too bad I'm going to love you." I said as I leaned downwards and kissed him on his cheek but I almost regretted it when my back slightly hurt, I really needed to stretch. And dance. And kiss my boyfriend on the lips.
"You're adorable when you speak your thoughts out loud, you know." Bellamy said with a filmsy smile on his face as he shifted on his back.
I knew my cheeks were burning red and they were getting hotter as Bellamy stared at me as if he was in a daze. The grin on his face wasn't helping either. When I thought of leaning back and turning my head around it was like he almost read my mind because he grabbed my face instantly and kissed me.
The only problem was that he was purposely squishing my cheeks which made my lips stick out like a fish's. He leaned back and I noticed the mischievous glint in his dark brown eyes.
"I love you," He told me before he sat up on the bed. I was still a little shaken by the silly kiss but when I regained my senses I couldn't help but feel giddy. Bellamy had kicked his shoes off and rested one leg on my lap while the other was behind me and I was perfectly sitting between his legs.
I smiled at him and he wrapped his arms around me tightly. I leaned into his chest and he slowly swinged us.
"Something happened." I started.
"Doesn't something happen all the time?" He retorted. I wasn't in the mood for humor though.
"Something happened to you." I clarified. "I know it and your knuckles prove it too." I put my fingers over them again and felt the cuts and scabs again. "I kept thinking something was wrong. I shouldn't have let you go. I should've gone after you right after that first call."
I rememerged hearing weird voices from his side of the line. Bellamy sounded pissed but he kept telling me he loved me and things like that. Then he yelled at someone and simultaneously ended the call. I tried to call him again but he didn't pick up and a few hours later I received a text from him saying he was busy.
He laughed and shook his head. "You don't have to play the hero, Jane." He told me. I opened my mouth of object but he cut me off. "Especially when nothings wrong. I just went to a fight club a few times during the week to boost my ego, after all, you sure know how to destroy it."
I frowned at him. "Why would you go to a fight club and how does it boost your ego?" I asked.
He pressed his thumb along my eyebrows and I realized it was to soften the crease I formed by scrunching them together.
"I haven't fought in a while so I wanted to see if I still had it in me." He said. I raised my brow at him when he didn't explain. "I was done with every guy they had in less than an hour." He finished with a smirk.
I was amused but at the same time I had it coming. I rolled my eyes at him playfully. "Why would you being doing guys when you have a fucking hot girlfriend?"
He laughed and I gave him a look which made him shut up real quick. He just stared into my eyes while biting his lip. I was so glad my legs were shut tight.
"Sassy and a savage," He mumbled into my ear as his hands started to move around. "I fucking love you and I can't wait to show you just how much I do."
It was like we telepathically planned when to slow down our kiss so we could breathe a little, making sure to never loose contact even if the other breathed for life.
I was running my hands all through his hair, his back, inside his shirt and over his abs until one rested right above his heart and the other cupped his face.
Bellamy's hands were roaming my body a lot more. I couldn't even keep up with them. They were everywhere, in my hair, around my neck to pull my closer, over my breast - teasingly. He was so wild that he managed to slide his leg between mine and squeeze my ass, not only making me moan but rub against his leg but we stopped a while after that because the big plaster around my leg restricted any more movements and we were also becoming really tired.
"Did I tell you how much I love to kiss you?" He said as he took deep breaths.
"I already know." I told him.
Our foreheads were touching, almost supporting one another as our chests moved up and down rapidly. I ran my hand through his hair again and cupped his face.
"You look even more exhausted now." I told him. He gave me a tight smile in return and I sighed. "You probably have a fever." I pointed out. This time he sighed and leaned back, using his hands to prop himself up.
"I'm fine. I told you I went to a fight club a few times." He said. I personally had never been to one so I imagined the worst scenario I could and told myself that Bellamy was perfectly fine there.
"Okay, but I think you actually have a fever. Can we check that out at least?" I asked him as a formality because I already started to get up from my bed and grab my crunches, I moved away just in time before he reached out for me. "I'll be right back. Why don't you change into something comfortable?"
"You need to rest." He said in a serious tone. He couldn't intimidate me. Not by the way he was looking.
So I shrugged, "Same goes for you." I said before leaving my bedroom to grab some medicine. I was glad mom kept an emergency kit full of first aid things and off the counter medicines in the store room. I quickly grabbed the box and sauntered back into my room.
Any thought I had in my mind disappeared when I found him lying on my bed in just his boxers. He rested his hands behind his head and grinned at me from ear to ear when he caught me staring at him. I think he got a little too comfortable.
I blushed again and shook my head as I balanced the first aid box in my hand whilst holding my crunches. This was a task on its own.
"How hot am I?" He asked as I sat beside him and fiddled with the contents of the box. I rolled my eyes at him.
"Let's see," I said before I shoved a thermometer in his mouth. He made a face and I giggled, making sure to keep my voice down since I didn't want to wake anyone up.
Sure enough, he did have a fever. I sighed and forced him to take medicines.
"I should go home." He said after a while. His body was burning up and while I shivered a little from the cold, he was sweating.
"No, stay. You can't go home like this anyway." I stopped him by holding his arm tightly.
He didn't argue and he probably didn't even have the energy for it either. He just used his shirt that was lying on the corner of the bed to swipe his sweat off and then he stretched back into the bed.
I turned the lights off and intertwined our fingers together. "I didn't know you went to fight clubs." I said when I realized both of us couldn't sleep.
I listened to the sound of his breaths as I waited for an answer. I still felt like he wasn't telling me something and it annoyed me. "I went after a long time but how else do you think I got the bad boy title?" He asked me.
I decided to accept that answer because I would be irritating him if I further pressed for details about his week. "You're not bad." I told him and squeezed his hand one last time as I shut my eyes and attempted to sleep.
Of course I couldn't sleep and especially not with the way Bellamy was tossing and turning in his sleep but I wasn't complaining. By the time the sun was out, I was glad Bellamy's fever wasn't as bad as it was in the night. I sat up on the bed and let my boyfriend use my lap as a pillow, all in his sleep.
There was a distinctive sweaty smell around us and the wet sheets weren't helping the situation either. I plugged in my earphones and listened to music while running a hand through Bellamy's hair. I couldn't help but notice how tiny I looked compared to him.
I did this until I decided to head to moms room and ask her what to do if someone had a fever. At this point I didn't care about how mad she would be if she found Bellamy in my room. I just wanted to help him somehow because even though he looked peaceful while sleeping, I knew he didn't feel it.
I slowly moved him off of me making sure I didn't wake him up in the process, he was such a baby. Then I crept out of the room in ninja mood on my crunches.
I was completely disappointed when I reached mom's room. It look like she hadn't slept in it but I quickly thought against it because like most mothers, mine was a clean freak. I walked inside thinking she was probably inside the bathroom but the door to it was open and it was empty too. I let out an exasperated sigh and I turned myself around but my eyes met something.
I turned halfway and walked towards her bedside table. An envelope lied there with a note sticking out of it. The writing done with a sharpie was what caught my eye. It was my dad's handwriting and I didn't need to double check.
A million thoughts came to my mind about the note and envelope that was lying in front of me. I didn't even realize when I picked it up but I was sure as hell curious about it.
Why was it there?
When did he write this?
Did he give it in person?
What did he write inside it?
These were the more prominent questions in my head. I blankly stared at the paper inside my hands and decide against reading it. It was none of my business, I told myself.
Yet I found myself picking it up and carrying it back inside my room, placing it under my phone on my nightstand. I turned and groaned when I saw a big fat red spot on my clear white sheets. This couldn't be happening I thought to myself.
I quickly covered it with my duvet since Bellamy wasn't using it, the last thing I wanted him to see was the mess I made.
"Morning beautiful," Bellamy greeted me as I left the bathroom. He was facing me as he laid on his stomach.
"And here I thought I had a chance at saying that today." I said as I straightened my clean pajamas. God was it hard to change clothes in the bathroom.
"It'll always be my line." He said as he started to get up. I bit down a smile as I made my way towards him. I reached my hand out to touch his forehead.
"Definitely not feeling better," I stated. He took my hand and pulled on it. I lost my balance and my crunches fell to the ground but I landed right in his lap.
"You nearly killed my leg." I scolded him. "Don't you dare try something like that again! What if you didn't catch me? Gosh, you're already weak, what if I fell and broke my leg beyond repair? You're such a—"
My rant was cut short because he captured my lips with his and kiss me. He forced his tongue inside my mouth and I gladly bit down on it.
"Jesus woman, can't even be romantic." He rolled his eyes at me.
I narrowed mine and glared at him. "How the fuck is making a handicapped person fall romantic?" I asked him.
"You're a beast when you're on your period." He laughed.
"I AM NOT A BEAST DAVIS!" I yelled at him making him stop laughing. "And how did—" I stopped myself when I looked over at the spot I tried to hide but it was still hidden.
"You're not that good at hiding things." He told me. I scoffed at him. "Just like you're not good at hiding his treasure." He smirked and I placed me on the side of the bed. Cushioning my plastered leg by putting a cushion under it.
"What?" I asked when he bent down front of me but sniffed himself. I forgot about what he was going to do and laughed at the way he scrunched up his nose.
"God damn it, I smell like shit, how did you not faint?" He asked as he stood up and back away while fanning the air around him.
"Girlfriend of the year," I sang and grinned at him.
"You're not even denying it. That means it's worse." He said as he walked across the room.
I laughed a little harder this time and nodded my head. "I'll take care of the sheets, just go shower." I told him as I reached for my crunches that were on the floor.
He quickly came to my aid and gave him to me. "It's alright, I'll change them. You've smelt enough." He mumbled. I shook my head this time.
"Nah, we both made a mess. Just go shower before the smell absorbs itself into my room or something. And feel free to use a bath bomb." I told him.He sighed in defeat and followed my order.
I pulled off the dirty sheets and threw them near the door when Brianna stepped inside. She returned with the rest on Friday. I was still laughing at moment Bellamy realized he was the cause of the disgusting smell.
"Why the hell are you laughing and what's that awful smell?" She said while sniffing the air.
"I remembered something funny and it's the smell of my boyfriend." I told her in a serious tone, as much ascit could be with me letting out a few chuckles in between.
"I think I'll have to drive you to the psychiatrist one day." She said, placing her hand on her hip. I shrugged and threw dirty pillow covers at her.
"That's great, but can you change the sheets first while I empty a few perfume bottles?" I asked her. She raised a brow at me and through our twin connection- her words- she told me no, absolutely not. I sighed and made a pouty face. "Please, I have a broken leg and I just got my period and I haven't eaten since dinner." I said.
She rolled her eyes and left the room, only to come back a few seconds later with two brooms. "I swear you're taking too much advantage if your situation." She mumbled before using the brooms as chopsticks to pick up the laundry.
I sat on the stool and picked up my favorite scents from my dresser and began to spritz the air around me.
By the time Bellamy came out of the bathroom dripping wet, the room was clean and smelled beautiful.
"Wow, this place smells like you on different occasions." So maybe I was a little particular about the scents I wore but it was shocking to know that someone noticed.
"You noticed." I said Bellamy and patted the space on my bed next to me. He nodded his head and dried himself with one of my towels before climbing onto my bed. This time he sat behind me and stretched his legs out on either side of me. "Don't you love to cuddle?"
"It's one of the best things I can do with you." He whispered into my ear and pulled me back so I was resting myself on him.
Then he reached down for something and my eyes widened when he placed a carton on my lap. How did he—
"Now why would you be hiding a box full of precious things?" He asked as he slid the lid off and pulled out a photograph. "Honestly, why?" He asked a bit seriously this time.
He rested his chin om my shoulder as stared at the photograph of me in my cheerleaders uniform with dad by my side. It was the day I became a cheerleader in freshman year. I was so proud of myself and dad was only the happiest and proudest father in the world- his words...
I felt hot tears prick my eyes and I quickly shut them and pushed away Bellamy's hand, using my other to push the box off of me. I was feeling a lot of emotions but I picked out anger because it felt was the only escape I had.
I opened my eyes and moved away from him, pulling my plastered leg off the bed as I grabbed my crutches and stood in a swift motion. Bellamy look at me with confusion written all over his face. I scoffed.
"You read the letter didn't you?" I asked him in a harsh tone. I didn't let him continue because I already knew the answer. "How dare you? It wasn't for you!"
He raised a brow at me and crossed his arms lazily. "It had your mother's name written on it, so clearly it wasn't for you either."
Was he serious?
"Well I didn't read it if that's what you mean! What the hell were you thinking? That you could just pry into my mother's business and snoop through my things and get away with a romantic evening?" I hidden out in anger.
My eyes roamed that box again. "I didn't just toss around random things into that box! Those things aren't just objects or normal photographs. It had memories! Those things defined the connection I had with my dad. It symbolized our relationship and you can't just throw those things at my face and expect me to be okay with it." Bellamy reached out to hold me but I stepped away from him. He crossed a line.
"I may have not thrown them away but that doesn't mean that I have the heart to look at them either." I shook my head to rid it from sad and pain memories that threatened to appear.
"I'm sorry, my curiosity got the best of me." He explained. I rolled my eyes and made my way towards the door. Keeping my back faced towards Bellamy. "But you can't keep it in you forever. For how long are you willing to prescription pills? How long are you going to eat sugary shit as a distraction? How long are you willing to pretend that whatever happened with you didn't? When are you going to stand up and accept everything and move on?" He was shouting at me the same way I was and I was clenching the doorknob tightly as I tried to keep it together. Every word cut me like a knife and tears spilled my eyes but I stood still.
I turned my head to the side and shook it. "Until I die. Now you can either sleep here since you have a fever or you can leave. Take your pick."
I didn't wait for an answer as I made my way towards the stairs. I only made it down the fourth step when I heard a loud bang from behind me followed by the sound of Bellamy's loud footsteps.
Without a glance in my direction he stormed down the staircase and out of the house.
This was it.