A/N: Pssst! Kung bata ka pa at binabasa mo 'to, huy, mag-anime ka na lang muna. This chapter has something... you know. Sa mga adults: enjoy mga beshie!
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Ding-dong!
Napamura ako ng malutong. Kung sino ka mang bwisit ka makakatikim ka talaga sa akin. Minadali ko yung sarili kong umihi, yung tipong pwersado pa, para lang mabuksan agad yung pinto. "Sandali lang!" Sigaw ko, sa pang-apat na pagkakataon.
Pero pag unang biyaya ng tubig sa umaga sobrang haba at tagal.
Ding-dong!
Ding-dong!
"Isa pang ding-dong dyan iuumpog ko yang ulo mo sa pader!" Sigaw ko ulit. Noong natapos na ang unang seremonyas, agad-agad akong naghugas at nagpunas, tumakbo sa labas para pagbuksan ang pinakaunang tao na sisira ng araw ko.
Or maybe I'm wrong.
Sabay ng pagbukas ng pinto yung paglaglag ng panga ko. I blinked several times. Jusko panaginip ba ito? Siguro panaginip ito. Pero umihi ka na, Yvonne! Ibig sabihin...
Ibig sabihin naihi ako sa kama at panaginip lang itong nakikita ko? I tried to slap my face. Hindi. Gising na gising ako. At tama itong nakikita ko.
"Charming." Sabi niya. "I was gone long enough to give you chance to change." He eyed me from head to feet and smiled. "... and here I am, looking at someone who's still stupid."
Tyrone!
Napangisi ako ng pagkalaki tapos niyakap siya ng mahigpit. "Oh my God! Bumalik ka na nga! Oh my God, Tyrone!" I shouted and cried at the same time while jumping nonstop. God, I missed this monkey friend of mine so much!
"Is that your new way to say goodmorning?" He muttered, then I felt his hands around me, pulling me closer to him. The contact made me jolt, kaya kumawala kaagad ako sa yakap niya. Matagal kaming nagkatitigan.
Sa tagal ng tinginan namin, alam kong naalala niya rin yung mga huling nangyari noong huli kaming nagkita. We both remembered the reason why he went away. Unti-unti kong naramdaman yung pagkailang hanggang sa napalayo ako ng dalawang hakbang.
I stared at my feet.
"So... how have you been?" Matagal kong inisip yung English na yan sa haba ng oras na nakalipas sa amin. Ang hirap pa naman mag-english kapag bagong gising. "Tapos na ba yung inaasikaso mo sa... sa States?"
You were gone for a month you bastard.
"Yes." He whispered. "Ikaw? Kamusta ka?"
So many things happened when you went away. Gusto kong i-kwento lahat lahat ng nangyari sa akin sa loob ng isang buwang wala siya. But I can't open my mouth and start to talk about... about that thing and that man. "O-okay lang. Ganito pa rin."
Lie.
"I see." I heard him sigh. "I came here to tell you that my Mom wants to see you. She said she missed you." I looked up at him and I saw it in his eyes na meron kaming dapat i-settle. But both of us know that we aren't still ready for it. Let's pretend we're okay, then.
"Kaya nga eh, gusto ko na rin siya makita. Busy lang ako nitong mga nakaraang—"
Hindi ko na po naituloy yung sinasabi ko noong hilahin niya ako papalapit sa kanya at... hinalikan niya ako.
Yes, halik. The damned monkey kissed me. At hindi pa ako nagtu-toothbrush. His lips are soft and warm and I had to pray for strength to pull away. Buti naman at nagawa ko. "Tyrone? B-bakit mo ko...?"
I was expecting him to say sorry, but he didn't. "I missed you, that's why." He make two steps towards me at para bang hahalikan na naman niya ako. And I was right.
Why are we doing this?
Why?
Is this right?
You missed him too, right? Pero hindi mo siya sobrang miss to the point na hahalikan mo siya the moment you see him. Hindi ganito.
Hindi ganito.
Pero, bakit?
When he broke our kiss, he leaned his lips on my forehead and hugged me. "Say something, please." Sabi niya sa akin. Ako? Ako nakatulala lang sa kawalan.
Why doesn't it feel... right?
Another memory flashed through me. Another memory with another man.
"Yvonne?"
"Ahh... ano, welcome back." I smiled up at him, unti-unti kong pinakalma yung nerves ko sa biglaan niyang sunggab kanina. "Pasalubong ko?"
May mga tanong siya. Alam ko. Nakikita ko ngayon sa mga mata niya. Pero pinili niyang hindi itanong sa akin. Instead he smiled. Tapos nun hinaplos niya yung pisngi ko. "You look lovelier."
Nasaan na yung kaibigan kong walang pakundangan kung saktan ang loob ko sa mga panlalait niya at mga asar niya? Nasaan na?
I spend the day with Tyrone and his mom, dahil nga ang laki ng atraso ko at bumalik na si Tyrone at ngayon lang kami nagkakasama ulit. The day went by as usual: kumain kami ng mga pagkaing hinanda ni tita Minerva at nagkamustahan.
Pero this time, wala nang mga asaran, sakitan, paluan, at murahan na naganap. Puro lang ngitian, hawakan, at walang katapusang pananantsing ni Tyrone. I was too shock to even stop him and argue.
"So, one month na nawala ka bigla ka nang bumait?" Tanong ko matapos ang lahat ng katahimikan at nang hinatid niya ako pauwi. Nilingon ko siya na naka-concentrate lang sa pagmamaneho.
"Biglang bumait?" He sounds confused. "Paanong biglang bumait?"
"Eh kasi, nakakapanibago na bigla ka nalang ganyan." Tahimik lang siya. "Don't deny, Tyrone. Alam kong alam mo na may nagbago."
He stopped his car and turned to look at me. Matagal kaming nagkatinginan.
"Don't you want this change, Yvonne?" Tanong niya sa akin. Tinignan ko siyang mabuti at matagal. Sana makita ko pa rin yung dating Tyrone na kaibigan ko. Hindi yung... ganito. It doesn't feel right. "Do you still remember the last time I said to you before I was gone?"
Nangunot yung noo ko. "A-ano?"
"Sinabi ko na kahit kailan hindi mo ako nakita bilang lalaki na magpapasaya sayo." Nag-init yung mukha ko bigla sa narinig ko. "I am changing, Yvonne. I am changing myself for you to see me."
Bago pa man ako makapagsalita, hinila na niya ako papalapit sa kanya para sa isa na namang halik. "Tell me you want me to do this." Sabi niya pagkatapos niya akong halikan. Mas inilapit niya pa yung mukha ko sa kanya. "Tell me you want me to do this for you."
If I was the same Yvonne who was kissed by this handsome man, I would say yes and kiss him back. Pero kasi, hindi na. Hindi na ako yung dating Yvonne.
I know very well that I have changed—or something in me changed.
Dahan-dahan akong umiling. He was smart enough to get my answer kaya binitawan niya ako at lumayo siya. Pero hindi pa rin matanggal yung tingin niya sa akin.
I want to say sorry, but instead I said: "I never asked you to change for my sake."
After that, he continued driving, with silence between us.
---
I watched as his car drives away. Hinintay kong mawala sa paningin ko yung sasakyan niya bago ako pumasok ng apartment. I was fumbling with my keys habang ine-evaluate yung nangyari kanina lang.
Why did he do that? Bakit niya sinabi yon? Hindi ko kailanman hiniling sa kanya na maging mabait siya sakin. What the hell was that?
"So you were out again." A deep voice cut off my thoughts. Napalingon naman ako sa pinanggalingan ng boses na iyon. I turned to see the very man who has been polluting my mind these past few nights. Hindi ko siya makita nang maayos dahil madilim ang labas ng apartment. "With a different man, this time."
"Arc?" Nilapitan ko siya. "Bakit ka nandito?" I managed to say, despite my shock and the fact that his very presence rendered me breathless. At ayan na naman yung tingin niyang maraming sinasabi sa akin. Sa sobrang dami, hindi ko alam kung ano ang iintindihin ko. Nahigit ko yung hininga ko noong lumapit siya sa akin.
I did the opposite. Lumayo ako sa kanya habang siya papalapit nang papalapit sa akin hanggang sa nakasandal na ako sa pintuan. Wala pa rin siyang sagot sa tanong ko. "Anong ginagawa mo dito?" I pressed on, while staring at his eyes. He looked like he wanted to kill me or what.
Halos lumuwa yung mata ko sa gulat sa ginawa niya. Hinawakan lang naman niya ang dibdib ko. Jusko.
Both of his hands are cupping my breasts and the contact made my skin burn both with passion and anger. "Arc..." Sinubukan kong magalit, sumigaw, lumayo, at saktan siya pero hindi ako madala ng paa ko paalis dahil sa ginagawa niya. "A-ano bang gina..." I heard someone whispered a moan when his fingers pinched me. Hinawakan niya lang ako pero kung anu-ano na ang nararamdaman ko. I suddenly want him to stop, oh no wait, continue what he's doing. Why is he doing this again? "Oh my God, ano bang... ano bang ginagawa mo?!"
Nagawa kong itulak siya kahit nanghina ako sa ginawa siya sa akin. That's when I felt anger. How can he do this to me? Sa tingin niya ba may karapatan siyang pumunta na lang dito para paglaruan ako at gawing tanga sa mga pambabastos niya?
I inserted my key into the blasted keyhole and opened up my door. I was about to go in and leave him there and rot in hell when he suddenly managed to pull me back to him.
"Arc!" Sigaw ko noong naramdaman ko yung higpit ng hawak niya sa mga braso ko. "Ano ba?! Bitiwan mo nga ako!"
"You think this is a game? You think you can drive me insane?" Hindi ko alam kung saan nanggaling yung galit sa boses niya pero wala akong pakialam. Mas galit ako!
"Pucha! Bitiwan mo nga sabi ako—"
His lips found mine before I bombard him with insults and threats. Lahat ng panlalaban ko nauwi lang sa wala. Hindi na ako nakapagisip ng matino. Hindi ko na siya magawang maitulak ulit. All because of this blasted kiss.
It took us forever before our lips parted and he leaned his forehead against me. "I've been wanting to kiss you again after that night." Nagawa niyang sabihin kahit na parehas kaming hingal na hingal. Hindi naman ako uminom kahit wine pero pakiramdam ko lasing na naman ako. "Damn it, woman, if you are going out with men on purpose to drive me insane..." His lips claimed me again. "then you are doing it good."
"A-ano ba 'yang sinasabi mo?" Lalong nag-init ang kanina pang mainit kong pisngi dahil parang tanga lang ang boses ko. I cleared my throat. "Ano bang sinasabi mo?"
"I saw you eating lunch with a man just a day ago, and now..." He let out an exasperated breath which I inhaled and did lots of things in my tummy. "Fuck this, and now I found you getting out of a different man's car."
I stared at him. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit parang galit siya sa akin pero isa lang ang alam ko. I just want him to kiss me again. Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. "And your point in telling me this, is...?"
He gave me a mind-blowing kiss as his answer. He pulled away, and rest his forehead once again on mine. Parang hindi siya nagsasawang gawin iyon sa akin. "My point is, you have done a great job in frustrating the hell out of me. Now stop mingling with random men."
Matagal kaming nagkatinginan. I was so aware of what we both wanted to happen. Aware din ako kung ano ang nasa mga mata niya ngayon. I know he is telling me that he wanted me. I want him too. "I am not mingling with random men. Kaibigan ko sila—"
Another kiss cut me off. "Do you think I care? Just stop flirting with them!"
Lumayo ako sa kanya. "Hindi kita boyfriend para pigilan mo akong—"
"Then fuck it Yvonne, and be mine!"
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#TheGameIsOn #BoysandtheirPloys