I turned over on my back finally opening my eyes to reveal the ceiling of my bedroom. I sighed feeling relieved for the first time in a long time. For the first time I felt good. For the first time I felt like life was worth it.
I rubbed my hand down my body until I got to my stomach where my baby used to be and sighed. It still weighed heavily on me but at least now, in this moment, tears didn't prick at my eyes threatening to pool out like a ferocious river.
My body still ached for the lost I had suffered but now in this moment everything felt calm. I didn't feel the need to bite the head off of everyone that passed by me. Every baby I saw didn't make me want to burst out in tears until I was completely drained of everything.
I finally looked around the room and took in the mess that surrounded me. Lucas was always one for cleaning but this room looked horrible. His suits were thrown everywhere, not in their place at all. I sat up looking at the floor to find his shoes littering it. I guess Lucas was more affected by our lost than I had noticed. I felt bad that I hadn't been here for him. He needed me and I was absent. I was so busy drowning in my own sorrow that I left him to drown in his own.
I got up and started cleaning up the room and putting things where they belonged. Now that I was home I needed to go back to what I used to do. I needed to return to my life, not just for me but for the both of us.
I slowly followed the scent of food into the kitchen where Lucas stood over the stove watching a pot. I leaned against the counter watching him until he finally noticed me. "There you are sleepy head."
"What time is it?"
"It's noon. You must've been more tired than you thought."
"Well I have been running on coffee most of the time so I suppose I would be tired. Why aren't you working?"
"Waiting for you to get up."
"Why?"
"Because you're coming to work with me." I scrunched up my face confused.
"Why?"
"For one because we just made up and I don't want to be apart from you right now and two I want you to meet Oliva." I leaned off the counter now fully confused and on the verge of being pissed.
"Why would I want to meet that woman?"
"So you can see for yourself that there's nothing going on between me and her."
"Lucas I told you I believed you when you said you weren't cheating."
"That's good but I still want you to meet her." I stared at him trying to figure out my next words but everything failed me. I was starting to piece my life together and it felt like in one swoop he was going to send me back the way I came.
"And what if I don't want to meet her Lucas? I don't want to meet the woman whose face I can't get out of my head when I found her touching my husband inappropriately." He stepped away from the stove and walked towards me.
"I know how you feel Samaria. How do you think I feel anytime I see you with Lincoln knowing that you two have kissed and whatever the hell else you two did together? The only reason I don't say anything is because I know that you two are friends. I need you to meet her to know that what I am saying is the truth."
"Fine Lucas." I wanted to walk out and not talk to him again but I knew that's how we got in the situation. It was aching me not to stay in the room with him. I wanted to run. I wanted to cry. He grabbed my hand and kissed them trying to make me feel better. He went and got a bowl and put something in it and then handed it to me.
"Here eat this." I looked at it and saw it was mac and cheese
"You made mac and cheese?"
"The cheesiest mac and cheese you will ever eat." He smiled to make me laugh but I just nodded. I took a spoonful and instantly my belly smiled at real food. I ate in silence as he watched me intently. Right now I needed my space but I knew space would only make things worse. "You mad at me?"
"I'm not mad Lucas."
"Then why aren't you talking?"
"Honestly Lucas I'm not talking because my emotions all over the place. I woke up feeling great but now within a few minutes you have somehow managed to take me all the way back. But if you want me to meet this woman then fine but don't expect me to like it."
We were now at Lucas' office and I was feeling uneasy about seeing this woman. I wanted to run the other way. I wanted to meet her and tell her what was on my mind. I wanted to just scream at her until I felt like stopping.
"Hey wait here while I go talk to Lincoln about some contracts," Lucas said kissing me on my forehead then leaving. I sat in his chair looking through my phone. I was texting Blair about the shop trying to make sure everything was going good. I knew soon I would have to go back but I needed to know she could handle things until then.
"I didn't think I would see you again." I looked up to see the big breasted woman standing in front of me. I guess it was too late to run now.
"If you're looking for Lucas then he is in a meeting with Lincoln right now."
She walked in further. "I can wait."
"Good for you," I said not taking my eyes off her.
"So who exactly are you," she asked coming to sit on Lucas' desk while crossing her legs carefully. I sat back taking a few breaths realizing that my first impression was right about this woman. I did not like this woman.
"Well I'm the wife of the man you keep hitting on and showing your obvious fake goods to. Now if you don't get your fake ass off my husband's desk we will have a problem." I watched as her face changed to anger then back to a smirk. I had found her button. She slid off the desk now obviously pissed.
"Do you know who I am? I could destroy your husband's reputation with a flick of my wrist." I stood up and got in her face this time not scared at all.
"Making threats will do you no good and if you keep making them then I will have to show you how I could ruin your reputation." I smiled letting her know I meant business.
"Is everything okay," Lucas asked coming in looking between us.
"Everything is fine," she said. "I came to tell you that I was going to tell my boss that you were a good investment to go into business with."
"I thought you needed more time to get you report together?"
"Nope. I think I got everything for my report." She nodded at me then walked out the door. I was happy the bitch was gone.
"What was that all about," he asked looking confused.
I smiled. "Girl talk."
"What kind of girl talk?"
"We were just getting to know each other."
"And?"
"And I can't stand that woman."
"Well if her report goes through then she won't be around anymore."
"How was your meeting with Lincoln." I asked changing the subject. I didn't want to talk about that woman anymore. I wanted to make her a part of my past not my present or future. He walked up to me grabbing my waist.
"As good as it could've. He asked to see you but I told him you were staying by my side for the time being." I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. He picked me up and placed me on the desk. He got in between my legs kissing me on my neck. "I missed your lips." I grabbed his shirt and kissed him again.
"What if I was thinking about going back to work at the shop?"
"Are you ready for that?"
"I can't keep putting things off and I need to try to get my life back to normal if I ever want to heal."
"I'm proud of you but maybe you should only do half days until you can handle the full load again."
"That sounds like a good idea plus I have to apologize to Blair."
"Why?"
"I kind of snapped at her when she asked if I was okay."
"And what your family?" I sighed not liking this subject.
"That's another story."
"I'm not saying you having to apologize to your sister but you should at least apologize to your parents." I nodded.
"I will go over there soon. I'm sure my dad is waiting for me by now."
"Well I got to know your dad a little more while we were apart." He was smiling from ear to ear happy at his accomplishment.
"Well look at you!" he kissed me again when my phone buzzed under my butt. I took it out of my back pocket to see what it was. My smile dropped from my face. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
"What's wrong?"
"They found Jordan."