Alex POV
I am fucking frustrated.
Frustrated and desperate.
Kate had given me nothing, absolutely nothing, the woman was little more than a wasted trip. I couldn't believe she held it all back from me. She knows something, I could sense it from her words and her looks but the bitch kept it to herself. Fuck!
What now?
I couldn't return to Danica yet. Not without something more to work from. I won't go back without more to give her, I need to give her some kind of hope that what lies within her is beatable, that she can outfight it. I know she can. But she obviously doesn't believe that she can. That's what worries me the most, that she simply doesn't believe in herself.
Stopped at an intersection, I stare about me, traffic whizzing by in front and cars idling beside me, if only my life would hit a point of idling, because shit, I'm exhausted, in every way. I drop my head back roughly onto the headrest and yawn deeply. I need sleep. My head won't let me rest completely at the moment, what with way too many possibilities flying around up there. How is one person supposed to handle so much turmoil?
A honk from behind alerts me to the moving traffic ahead of me and I drive on through the dark, knowing that sleep won't find me tonight, Kate had stolen that option when she said those last few words to me.
''I have more care than anyone. You'd do well to remember that."
What did she mean by that?
Did she mean that she left for the good of Danica? Or did she mean that she knows there is more to Danica than I know? Maybe she meant that Danica had issues before.
I grunt loudly to myself. This thought process is getting me nowhere, for fucks sake, I need to stop thinking. I glance down at my lap where Ditz stares up at me curiously, probably wondering what the fuss had been about a moment ago, I pat her head a few times as I return my focus to the road ahead. And only the road.
The drive is long, heading back the way I'd come in the first place, back to where it all began and where it all ruptured. The closer in range that I got to home, the more unsettled I felt. The weight sitting firm upon my shoulders again, my muscles tightening, my brain beginning to feel the thoughts push for attention. Those thoughts aren't helping me though and I refuse to submit to them, action is what's most vital right now. Action and answers. I don't care what I have to do to get them either.
Which is why I'm returning to Carols.
I've gotten to a point of no return and I can't have that, not when Danica's existence is in jeopardy. I realise that I can't say that in words to Carol, I'm going to have to pry the information from her some other way, I need her to see that I need to know the truth and that she needn't fear that Danica will find out because I've got her best interests in mind.
And I always will.
That woman of mine - all flaws aside - is everything to me, no matter the lengths I have to go to keep her from ruining herself, I'll be the wall of separation between glory and eradication for her.
Wouldn't everyone else in my position do the same?
I thought on this for a long time. The thought becoming all consuming and thick, with a fog like substance to it, no other thoughts being able to navigate through the haze.
Am I crazy for wanting to help?
I squeeze the steering wheel tight, feeling myself come back to the present time, glad I'd decided to stop for some food before the next leg of the drive, because I couldn't have driven while stuck in my head like I'd been.
I'm over thinking, I can't be any clearer about that.
Stepping from the car, I quickly grab some food for myself and Ditz to eat and a coffee to keep me awake.
Then, we're back on the road.
***************
Rapping my knuckles a few times upon the wooden door, I wait for Carol to appear. And when she does, she spares me a disappointed glance as she opens the door to me.
"You went back there and I strictly told you not to." Are the first words she says, a stern look covering her usual gentle features.
"And how do you know that I went back?" I ask curiously, not denying my little expedition.
Carol glances out into the street briefly, "Come inside, this isn't the kind of thing I want my neighbors finding out about, the rumor mill is busy enough as it is." She ushers me in with one hand while standing back from the doorway.
"Sitting room." She mutters as she follows me inside.
I veer right and find a seat.
Carol sits across from me, folding her hands in her lap before turning her sight to me.
"I thought I had been clear about you not going back there."
I lean forward, resting my forearms on my legs, "Yeah, you were, but since you refuse to give me any answers I had to go about things my own way. So how'd you know I returned?"
She purses her lips at me, "You think I was going to risk you going back without me knowing? No, no, I couldn't have that. Though I told the receptionist not to stop you. I must admit that I'm a little curious about whether my delightful sibling shared anything with you."
As the question leaves her, my sight finds a pair of glassy eyes staring at me, a white blond porcelain doll with beady brown irises and rosy red cheeks stares straight through me, I shake off the bad feeling, dolls having always given me the creeps.
"Not a lot." I say in response, drip feeding the woman before me.
She frowns deeply, "You know I won't let you leave it at that. What did she say?"
I let out a breath, resigned. "She said that she has more care than anyone and it's best that I remember that. Who knows what she means by that." I shrug once.
Somehow, her frown deepens and a dark look covers her face.
"She... hmm.." Carol breathes out, anger clear now.
She purses her lips a few times as she stares furiously at the cream carpeted floor.
"What do you know?" I press.
Carol looks up at me suddenly, "Nothing. I know nothing and you know nothing. That's the way it needs to be. But know this, Kate is wrong, she's lying to you, she ran and turned her back on Danica when she needed her the most. People who care don't do that." Her eyes have welled up now, tears of frustration threatening to escape.
Carol brushes at her eyes forcefully, "Enough of this now, would you care for a bite to eat?" Her facade has changed in an instant and I note the similarities between herself, Danica and Kate in that moment, all three women having the ability to switch their physical appearance to mask the ugly truth.
"We're not finished here, Carol. I need answers and I need them today."
Carol drops very unladylike back onto the lounger, seemingly having given in to me, finally.
"Kate ran, that's true, but she had second thoughts within moments of leaving and returned to the house to get Danica." Carol pauses. She breathes deeply, preparing herself for the next part of the story, then she continues to speak, the words coming out shaky. "She walked into the kitchen. Saw Brian lying dead on the floor and Danica... Danica was sitting in the pool of his blood, her clothes covered in red and she had bloody fingerprints on her cheeks. Kate got scared. She knew if she stayed any longer that she would be caught and the situation that Danica sat in would look much worse. So, she left again, and Danica did actually go to the neighbors crying for help but not because her father was dead, she was crying for her mother, the blood didn't bother her. The police didn't pick up on this though, they assumed she was covered in it because she'd been trying to get close to him. I knew then that I had to keep her from her mother. She put her in that position. It wasn't Danica's fault at all, she was only a child. She didn't know any better. I decided not to share that part of the story with her, the most she remembers is finding Brian dead and crying desperately for her mother. That's all she needs to know, you can understand this, yes?"
I nod slowly, knowing that this piece of history is vital to me, but Carol won't ever know that.
"What else are you keeping from me about Kate?" I say.
Carol swallows clearly once then speaks again, "Kate is exactly what you think she is." Pause. "Kate is a ruthless and dangerous murderer. She was evasive and moved quickly with her kills, but the police knew it was her from the beginning, it was only a matter of catching her. I could never have guessed that she could do such a thing." Carol shakes her head, sadness taking over her features.
"I don't know why you bothered to keep this from me in the first place. I would never reveal any of this to Danica, it doesn't affect her life in any way, she will never find her mother, I'll be making sure of that. I've seen how she can be, in the flesh, and that's not the most pleasant thing to experience. I don't want Danica to see that."
Carol meets my gaze, "I'm sorry that I drove you to that situation. I never wanted that."
"Likewise. She is definitely better off there." I add as an afterthought.
Carol watches me closely for a moment. I'm not sure what she is trying to see or figure out but when she speaks, it's clear that she is curious.
"Why do you want all of this information? If you're not going to share it with Danica, then why?"
I take a few seconds to compose myself and then begin to speak with my response sitting at the forefront of my mind, "It gives me peace of mind. Danica will always have her questions and curiosity's about her past and I feel that, if I know the answers that I will feel less concerned about her overall wellbeing. Does that make sense?"
Carol considers my answer, confusion apparent at first, but as she gives it time to settle, I witness a physical change in her demeanour, she seems to come to terms with it and accept it, regardless of my vague reply.
"I think I know what you mean. And I'm happy to share these things with you as long as you promise never to utter a word to Danica about them."
"I promise." Is all I say, knowing that Danica's survival relies on her not knowing of her past and the fact that she got her hands bloody much earlier than she could ever imagine.
Has she blocked out that part of her memory?
Or has she held it within all of this time?
::::::::::::::::::::::::
Oh, crap.
What do you all think about this turn of events?
Do you think Danica is holding onto this dark and disturbing secret?
Or do you think she really isn't aware of the memory?
Now that Alex has something to work with, what do you think he will do next?
Always good to see you all pop up in my notifications with comments and votes, keen to see what you all come up with after this revelation.
Thanks for reading.
See you next time 🤗
Shantelle.