Sunday 25th
Three hours later I stood in front of Ivy's front door, cold air nibbling at my legs. I had chosen to regrettably swap my comfortable jeans for a white skirt and top. My jacket though offered some warmth, I dug my body deeper into it as I waited for someone to answer the door. I could hear the doorbell through the wooden frame and then the sound of heavy footsteps.
The door swung open, Isaac on the other side. In his blue jeans and navy knitted sweater, he stared back at me with a wide smile glazed across his lips. His cheeks pinched together, his dimples shining through. He waited for me to speak first but I couldn't, my breath was caught in my throat. All I could see was the memories of the Isaac I had met at boarding school nearly two years ago.
My jaw slacked at the sight of him, eyes taking him in. I swallowed an inaudible sound, still not used to seeing him back home. Isaac had always been better at collecting himself though. This proved true when in response to my silence his brows arched in my direction and he empathized my name, "Andra?"
It took me a moment to find my words, mentally banging my own head back into place, "Hey, sorry. I just completely blanked and forgot you were back in town."
"It's no problem," Isaac assured me as I exchanged a similar smile to his, unable to tear my focus away from him. Along his jaw and sharp chin, I noticed the faint traces of an unshaven shadow, a new feature for him. It helped him appear older than he was, a mature quality I undeniably liked.
"Is that Andra?" Ivy's voice shot through the moment like a pin hitting a balloon, deflating the upturned sides of my lips. Isaac's smile dropped too, head angling to the side to see his sister. Ivy sauntered into view, swinging her hips right up to the front door, "Andra."
"Hey," I said forcing my lips wider and higher as my best friend grinned across to me. The un-composed girl I had dealt with Friday night was gone without any remaining remnants. No one would have believed that yesterday morning I had sat with the same girl wiping at the black mascara stained lines that run down her cheeks. That Ivy was tucked neatly away behind a layer of perfected make-up and an oozing confident smile.
Her hands reached out and grabbed at my wrists, her fingers circling around my bones. I felt her fake nails digging into my wrist and wriggled underneath her touch.
"Come in!" She demanded tugging me into the hallway whilst shooting sharp daggers at her brother, "Stop making her stand in the cold Isaac."
"He wasn't," I defended as she continued to drag me down the hallway in the direction of her dining room. She spoke ahead of me but I didn't hear much. I was too busy sneaking a glance at Isaac over my shoulder as he closed the door and turned to follow us.
"Where were you last night?" Ivy questioned as we made it into the dining room and she finally let go of my wrists. I pulled them back to my side and rubbed them soothingly against the material of my skirt, "I called you like ten times."
"I know, sorry," I apologized, "I was busy."
Just as we had made it into the dining room, Ivy's mum joined us from another door on the opposite side of the room. Her gaze connected with us and she beamed brightly. In her black trousers and marshmallow cream blouse she walked further into the room to meet us.
"Andra darling," She greeted as she approached me. There was a heavy tan decorating her skin and her blonde hair appeared lighter than the last time I'd seen her, now pinned up behind her head. Little make-up touched her features, she too blessed like Ivy with perfect complexion.
"Evening Liana, how was your trip?" I asked just as Ivy's mum pulled me in for a quick hug, a welcoming I was used to receiving from her. It was light and airless, nothing like the hug Asher's mum had graced me with earlier on.
Releasing me she sighed contently, "So wonderful, we took hundreds of photos. You'll have to see them once we've eaten."
"I'd love that," I told her. Beside me I caught in the corner of my eye Ivy rolling her pupils backwards just as she went to take her seat at the extensive dining table.
"Where's dad?" Ivy asked her mother as I took the place next to her. Behind us I could hear as someone walked into the dining room with us and a moment later Isaac came into sight. He walked around the length of the table to the space opposite me. I averted my direction of sight, paranoid if I looked at him to much my secrets would be transparent to everyone in the room. Though Isaac didn't appear to have the same anxiety I did, I could feel the heavy weight of his stare burning into the side of my face. Training my focus on Liana, I ignored him completely.
"He's just serving up dinner," Liana told her daughter, moving towards her own seat beside her son.
"He's cooking?" I questioned, surprised to have one of them cook dinner for once.
"I know, sounds disastrous," Liana laughed, pressing one of her manicured hands to her chest, "But bless him, he took some cooking lessons whilst we were away and wanted to show off what he'd learnt to the kids."
A whining noise emitted from Ivy's mouth, her stare pointing accusingly at her mum, "Please can you stop calling us kids."
I ignored her comment looking past to Liana and grinning, "I can't wait to try it."
"Me neither," Isaac added into the conversation capturing my attention for a short moment. Across the table he sent me another discreet smile, one I pretended not to notice.
Thankfully Ivy's dad burst through the door then, two plates juggled in his hands. A thick grin was plastered across his face and as his eyes fell on me it only grew.
"Andra!" He chimed, his deep voice such a similar pitch to his son's, "So glad you could join us for dinner. You arrived just in time to try my first ever cooked dinner."
"I'm looking forward to trying it sir," I laughed idly as he struggled balancing the plates within his hands. He rushed towards the table dropping the two dishes down as quick as he could, two thuds ringing through the room.
"I'll get the rest dad," Isaac said, scraping his chair back against the floor and standing up to help his clumsy dad. When they both came back from the second run into the kitchen and we all had our food, we all dug in.
It was horrid. The tangy sauce slathered over it was too salty, the chicken burnt, vegetables soggy, undercooked. The rest of the table thought so to. It was so bad all we could do was laugh it off, washing our taste buds as quickly as we could with our drinks. Ivy moaned like I thought she might about how he had ruined dinner and how starving she was.
But I thought it was nice. Not the food. But how he had made the effort to make it for them. Ivy's parents weren't home a lot either but at least when they were they made an effort to engage with their kids. My dad did very little like this when he was home from work.
The thought was one that stuck with me throughout the remaining time at the table. I was grateful when we were all finished attempting to enjoy the meal and moved into the living room instead. I sat with Liana whilst she flicked through her holiday pictures that she had uploaded onto her iPad. It took at least two hours to get through them all alongside all of their holiday stories. Ivy was quick to stand up when the photos were finished, excusing herself and me. This time I kept my hands tucked safely behind my back, holding my jacket so she wouldn't grab at them and strangle them.
As we strolled down the hallway to the wide set of stairs I slanted my head in her direction and asked her, "Did you manage to speak to Alistair?"
"Yeah," Ivy sighed, her face contorting in a pained expression, "I was a complete blubbering mess the whole phone call but he assured me I was forgiven."
Taking to the stairs I run my hand up the wooden carved railing, "And did you two manage to figure anything else out?"
She knew was I was hinting at; their questionable relationship status. Even if Ivy never saw how perfectly they were meant to be, I did. And I was going to make it a point of telling her more often. The mere fact that he had been the one she'd run to when she got herself in a state the other night spoke volumes to everyone around her.
"Not really," She shrugged, feigning casualness, "it's pretty unclear where we both are."
We continued through her house, steering ourselves in the direction of her bedroom, "You'll figure it out," I assured her.
Mumbling a dismissive sound underneath her breath, she grabbed her door handle and pushed it open. Just as she began to walk in my phone started to chime from my jacket pocket. I pawed at it desperately, pulling it out and staring down at the bright screen.
"Give me a minute," I held up a pointed finger in her direction, waiting a moment before I would answer the call. As I held my phone preciously in my hands I threw my jacket into Ivy's room and shooed her further into the room. She stumbled back, a confused expression slathered across her face.
"But -," I cut her short, taking the handle and pulling the door to in her face, closing her off from the hallway. Then I allowed my finger to swipe across the screen, accepting the call. I placed the phone to my ear, pacing in the other direction from Ivy's room knowing her too well to believe she'd allow me some privacy.
"Hello?" I said down the line, persisting in a nonchalant edge to my voice.
"Hey," The raspy voice grumbled to me, "it's Ash."
I already knew that having saved his number from when he sent me the address for the boxing center yesterday. I'd assumed though that he wouldn't actually be calling me today having it been hours since his mum would have got home and told him my short message for him to ring. Or not. I'll admit I had been vague.
"Wow," I responded sarcastically, "I didn't think you'd call. Left it pretty late huh?"
"Late?" Asher echoed and though I couldn't see him I could picture exactly the knotted frown decorating his features. I wished I could see it, that I was still with him and not in Ivy's hallway pacing up and down.
"It's like eleven o-clock, you realize that right?" I commented flicking my wrist up towards me to check my watch. It didn't matter how glad I was that he had chosen to call, I wouldn't let him think that it was ok to make me wait all day. Not after I had left him a note and a message with his mum.
"Didn't know there was a time I had to call by," Ash's tone switched from bewilderment to amusement, snickering low enough he thought I might not hear. I heard.
"There wasn't," I snapped throwing my eyes up towards the ceiling, "you didn't even have to call."
"Why wouldn't I want to when you sound so happy to hear from me?" He retorted quickly, his smug smirk transcending through the phone.
"Stop being sarcastic," I scolded him and though I might have sounded serious, it was only the need to taunt him that provoked my words.
"I can't," Asher told me, "it's part of my charm. You might not love me so much without it."
"I can assure you, I don't love you with or without it," I uttered through a loud scoff I was sure to make Asher hear.
"Your impossible," He released an exasperated chuckle, "If either of us should be mad here, it's me. Considering that I'm not the one who snuck out this morning."
I had hoped that wouldn't be brought up, "I was not sneaking out. I left a note. If I was sneaking I would hardly let your mum drive me home."
"I heard about that to," Asher stated, slight apprehension in his voice. It shot dread through me. I had thought that the drive with his mum hadn't gone that bad, that we'd bonded a little. We had certainly got on much better than Ash and I had the first time we shared an hour-long drive.
But none of that meant I could ease the nagging anxious feeling I felt knowing that as a mother looking to guard her son from unworthy girls, she would be silently judging me.
"Yeah..." I breathed shakily, my teeth capturing my bottom lip and biting down on it.
"How was that?" He asked.
"Good, I think," I stammered, chewing further down on my soft lip, "Why? Did she say something bad about me? I can't really remember what I said and that's usually a bad thing."
Ash's breath wrung through the phone in low chuckled sounds, "She didn't say anything bad Alessandra."
"What did she say?" I asked, my fingers digging nervously into the back metal of my phone against my ear.
"She said she liked you obviously," he grunted as if knowing that his mum was fond of me was irritating news to him, "She said I had to invite you around more often."
"Oh wow," I laughed, an uncontainable grin breaking out on my face as relief flooded me, "that's a good reception, I don't usually get that from parents."
"I find that doubtful."
I released another short laugh, leaning myself back against a small side table in the hallway, "Ok, fine. What can I say? Parents love me."
We both let out small laughs which faded out into a short silence. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, content if anything.
It was me who spoke up next, "I'm sure you didn't ring me to tell me your mums opinion on me so why did you ring?"
"Because you told me to," Asher said defensively. I pictured him sitting on his bed; phone to his ear, face screwed up disapprovingly of me.
"I told your mum to tell you that you could ring if you wanted to," I empathized, lips tinged up in a stupidly weak smile.
"Ok," He drew out a rough sigh before replying bluntly, "So I wanted to."
It was though admitting it irritated him, the truth irritated him. He didn't want to be enjoying my company but he couldn't help it. Neither could I. I was far too happy to be ignoring my best friend for this phone call with him
I questioned him further, "Why?"
"So I could have you formally thank me for giving you a place to stay last night," He taunted, choosing his usual diversion of sarcasm and goading, "I'm waiting."
"I'm only saying it because you let me sleep on the bed," I prewarned him, pausing dramatically for a moment before continuing, "So, thank you."
"No problem," He assured with self-satisfaction, "I'd also like to remind you that you owe me a night out."
As if I needed a reminder, it had been swimming around and around my mind all of last night and today, "I've not forgotten, I also hope you haven't forgotten that you promised me a car ride."
"I've not," He insisted gauging a larger pull at my lips. A full-blown grin sat on my face now making my glad I'd taken the call in private.
I just hoped he felt this high speaking to me too, that it wasn't all one sided.
"Good," I uttered, holding the phone between my shoulder and ear as my hands found each other and my nails picked at the nail polish there. A habit I had picked up when I was distracted.
"So, when exactly do you have me booked for?" He asked.
"I'm pretty much busy all of this week," I admitted suddenly even more irritated to be bothered with the responsibility of events committee. Without it I could have seen Asher this week, now I'd have to wait, "I've got all this planning to do for a Halloween party on Saturday."
"Jonathan mentioned," Asher said, the mention of his father an uncomfortable one. His father's name had come out in a way that scared me. An emotionless sound on Asher's tongue; one he was glad to spit out.
"He did?"
"Yeah," his voice grew stony, cold, "He's been on at me to go and blend with everyone."
The idea of Asher mixing with my friends, despite that one time he had at the bar, was one I couldn't picture going well. But it wasn't something I was completely against either, "Why don't you? It's not like you don't know anyone."
"I don't want to go," Asher told me. The was a finality in his response that I wouldn't take idly, "It's not about knowing people."
"Then why don't you really want to go?" I interrogated, fully aware of how much it would piss him to be so invasive.
He replied quickly, tone turning bitter, "Because I have another party to go to that I know I would actually have a good time at."
I could have easily snapped back, hung up the phone. But I didn't want to this time. It was proving to be a lot effort in getting Ash to let me in and I didn't want to completely erase last night's progression in doing so.
Because of that I bit my tongue and relaxed my shoulders through a sigh, "well if you change your mind, you can always come. See all the hard work I've done."
"Hate to disappoint but I won't change my mind," He assured me, "The same offer goes to you to. You can always drop into party I'm at."
"I'll keep that in mind," I smiled.
Ash's voice softened as he converted back to his relaxed self that had been present a few moments before, "So, I'll speak to you soon Alessandra."
"You to Asher."
It was a short ending to the call. We made no plans to see each other again but I knew we would. I had an inkling that neither of us would be forgetting about our bet anytime soon. The thought it alone kept my lingering smile in place for a little longer.
That was until a small cough interrupted the moment, swiping away the grin. I snapped my head to where the sound had emitted from and dropped my hand with my phone in it to the side of me, out of sight.
Isaac hovered in the hallway a few feet away, eyebrows arched up and eyes questioning. At this point I thought I'd have rather been interrupted by Ivy as horrible as that would have been. There was a pulling force between the two of us and Isaac committed to it, stepping closer.
"Good phone call?" He asked his pointed finger directing itself to my hand. I tipped my eyes down to the phone and shrugged.
"It was ok," I replied as I leant of the table and discreetly brushed my hands down my skirt, rubbing of the chipped nail polish I had been picking at. I wavered awkwardly finding it hard to meet Isaac's eyes.
"Who was it?" He asked warmly, nothing intrusive about him. His foot took another step forward, inching him closer and closer to me.
"Huh?" I said losing my train of thought through nervousness. I hadn't felt this giddy since the beginning of our friendship at boarding school. Back then he had been everything a fifteen-year-old would dream about. He was gorgeous and kind and said all the right things. It had un-nerved at me first but I soon grew comfortable with it. But right now after a year apart and his ever-growing charm, I was right back at square one, fumbling through my own mind to find the right thing to say.
He shot a glance to my phone and then stared back up at me, "On the phone, who was it?"
Vaguely snapping out of the hazy state I was in, I shook my head and cleared my throat, "Just a friend."
"A new friend?" He questioned, a half smile tugging at his lips and a halfhearted arch in his brows, "I've never heard of an Asher."
"Yeah, well," I shrugged again, the only action my body was strong enough to pull together, "You've hardly been around, a lot of new things happen in a year."
Isaac physically responded to my comment, shutting his eyes and recoiling a step. He brought his hands up to his chest defensively and hissed a small sound out of his mouth. When he opened his eyes, he began nodding his head. There was an apologetic glisten masking his eyes as he spoke, "I guess I deserve that one."
Guilt wrapped up around me. I'd always been so mad at him for leaving me to deal with everything, a selfish move on his part. But now in front of him, staring at the boy who I'd cared about so much, I couldn't recall that anger anymore. I couldn't blame him for leaving. Anyone else I might have, but not Isaac. I remembered now that he didn't do things to hurt people, it wasn't a part of his nature.
"No, you didn't," I sighed my shoulder sagging deflatingly, "I think I just had to get that one out. I'm over it now. Sorry."
"Don't apologize," Isaac told me returning himself a step closer, "I'd be mad at me too."
I wanted to be mad, he had no idea. I just couldn't bring myself to. All I saw when I looked at him was good. That was what I hated; the feelings I couldn't rid myself of.
"We really should talk about things," Isaac began but I cut him short before he could say more. I held a silencing hand up and twisted me head over my shoulder to check on Ivy's door.
When I looked back to him, I shook my head, "We shouldn't. We need to leave everything where we left it, in the past."
Isaac's lips now thinned out into a grim line. He run a frustrated hand through his neat, dirty blonde hair messing with the locks. It was only sign I had of knowing he didn't agree with me. Otherwise he remained composed, forcing his mouth to curve slightly and keeping his expression light, "If that's what you want."
"Yeah," I nodded knowing it was for the best to not drag up the past, "I just don't think it's a good idea."
"That's fine Andra," He insisted, his foot gracefully taking a step back, putting distance between us, "I didn't come back to put you in awkward positions."
"I don't want to put you in any either," I smiled the best I could, retreating slowly too, "Friends?"
A tiny laugh puffed through his nose and he nodded, "Yeah. Always."
"Good," I said stepping back more in the direction of Ivy's room. I thought our conversation might be over but Isaac stopped me again.
"I tried to speak to Ivy today about the other night. Got nothing," He informed me. Speaking about Ivy would undoubtedly become a safe ground for us. She was the thing we both had in common, we both shared. Shamefully I knew that as well as that, us talking about her was a silent reminder why we couldn't do what we had done a year ago.
"It takes Ivy a lot to open up," I reminded him, "She just needs to get used to you being back first. I'm sure she'll be able to talk to you soon."
"If you say so," He said, "You know her better than anyone."
So did he once. Before what we did drove him away.
"I do," I paused, allowing myself the shortest moment to take him in, "I best get back to her too."
My thumb stuck out, pointing towards Ivy's bedroom door. His eyes bypassed me for a second, following the path down to her door. He cleared his throat and looked back to me, "Yeah, sorry. Night Andra."
He turned on his heels, waving to me once before strolling the opposite way. I watched him walk away, staring at his back as he made his way to him own room, "Night Isaac."