"Libras were known for bravery during desperate times."
As if! This proves that horoscopes are liars. I wasn't brave. I was a coward.
Hiding wouldn't solve anything. I knew that. But it probably make things worse, but I couldn't go to school. Not when Minho's kiss was still fresh in my head. And Sehun's aquarium date.
Since Sehun and I weren't dating, I wasn't necessarily a cheater. But I still felt guilty. And it violate the contract. Never in a million years would I have imagined that I'd be the one to break that contract. Thank goodness I didn't add a penalty fine like I had planned.
Eomma came into the kitchen just as I took out a pickle out of the jar. With pursed lips, she watched me chop into even pieces. She finally spoke up when I reached for another one. "Are you feeling better now?"
"Yeah, I just had a headache this morning, but I'm okay now."
"Good, now tell me what's wrong."
I wiped my juice-covered hands on a towel. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, you skipped school today, and now instead of studying or working on something, you're chopping up enough stuff to feed an army." She crossed her arms on the counter across from me and leaned forward. "What's bothering you?"
Dang, how can she know? I let out a sigh and scooped the pickles into the mixing bowl. "Can't a girl make some tuna in peace?"
"A normal girl, yes. You? No." Eomma tilted her head and smiled. "After your wait-listed letter, we had enough tuna to feed an army of cats. Then there was the time after your physics exam that you swore you failed. And before that -"
"Okay, okay, I get the point." I hadn't realized that I always made tuna when I was stressed, but I guess I did. We had one of those swift-chopping blender that cut everything up for us, but I liked chopping. There was something calming about cutting everything myself. It took more time, but I always felt better afterward.
Just then Appa walked into the kitchen and stopped when he saw us. "What's with the meeting?"
"Suzy's making tuna."
His eyes widened. "Oh. Um, I'm going back to the living room, then. Let me know when it's safe to come back for my ice cream."
I watched him run out of the kitchen and turned back to Eomma, who was trying to hide her smile. "Does everybody know about this tuna thing?"
"Basically." She picked up the hard-boiled eggs and knocked it against the counter. "So, what's wrong?"
My eyes shifted down to the cutting board, suddenly embarrassed to be conversing with Eomma. "I'm having some trouble with . . . guys."
She let out a little squeal and clapped her hands. "You don't know how long I've waited for you to say that. For us to finally have a mother-daughter talk. Is it Sehun? What did he do? Is he pressuring you about sex?"
"Oh my god. No, Eomma!" I smacked my hand against my forehead. Maybe asking her was a mistake. I should've finished my tuna in peace. "Just forget about it."
"Noooo!" She grabbed my arm and pulled on it like Lucy did whenever she wanted me to buy her snacks from the store. "I'm sorry, just tell me what's wrong."
"It's just . . ." I swallowed the lump in my throat as I tried to figure out how to ask her opinion without revealing too much. "Why do you like Sehun so much?"
"What do you mean? He's sweet. Fun. And you have to admit, he's pretty easy on the eyes."
My brow wrinkled. "Yeah, but . . . we don't have anything in common. At all. I'm just surprised that you're so supportive of us dating, that's all."
"I supposed he is one of those boys I should be warning you about. Or hiring a guard to follow you two everywhere." Eomma pursed her lips together in thought as she continued to peel the rest of the eggs. "I guess I'm just glad that you finally acting like a normal teen. Dating and having fun. I was fully prepared for all the angst and fighting that comes with a teenage daughter, but you were never like that. You got terrific grades. You'r driven, and you know exactly what you want to do with your life. And nothing gets in the way of that. You barely go out, so you don't break your curfew. And you always help out around the house and do what you're supposed to do."
"I'm . . . sorry?"
She laughed. "I'm not complaining. It's just . . . you became an adult by the time you were eleven, and sometimes I wonder if that's because of your dad. The real one. And our fighting all the time. You never got to be a real kid like Lucy."
I traced the flower designs on the counters. "Some people are just different."
"Yeah." Eomma let out a sigh and walked over to the sink to wash her hands. "I just don't want you to miss out on anything because of me."
Guilt swept our me. Eomma was always so happy and cheerful - even flaky at times. Now I felt bad for being annoyed whenever she would try to get me to go shopping or get manicures. I'd never understood why she seemed so obsessed with that sort of stuff.
"I'm making tuna because of Minho," I finally said, throwing her a bone. "And Sehun."
Her eyes got so bright and round that I wouldn't have been surprised if she started jumping up and down with joy. Her straighter-than-a-ruler daughter finally acting like a real teenager with boy problems and faking sick to skip school? Not to mention, two guys were trying to take the uptight driven daughter out? Cue the newspapers. This was a dream come true.
Luckily, she tried to play cool about it. "So they both like you? That's interesting. But not surprising, of course," She quickly added.
"Well, Minho told me he does. For a while now. But Sehun . . . I don't think we'll last much longer." I bit my lower lip. "Especially since there's this other girl that likes him, and they have history." Eomma didn't need to know the specifics of Seulgi and Sehun's history. I definitely didn't want to think about it.
"Oh. Well, Minho is quite nice, too."
"He's great. He's perfect for me. Like Appa is for you. And it makes sense for us to be together. I always figured we'd end up together, anyway." I shrugged. "But I don't know why I'm hesitating now."
She reached out and swept my bangs out of my face before tilting my chin up. "Usually, that means you actually want it. No matter much you thought you did. For once, go with your heart and not your head. Even if it's crazy."
"But that's really hard."
"Life is hard. Give yourself some time to figure things out, then. And if someone bothers you about that, you can tell them to go to hell."
I laughed and rolled my eyes. "Thanks, Eomma. That's great advice."
"That's what I'm here for." A wide smile crossed her face. "Do you want to go shopping after school tomorrow?"
I shuddered inside, but I nodded. "Sure, that'd be fun."
__Toward the Walk of Shame__
Eomma did say I needed to take some time for myself, so I took that as having parental permission to stay home the next day. Hopefully, an extra day would help me figure things out.
I didn't count on Minho coming to visit.
"You look pretty healthy for someone who's supposed to be on her sickbed. And to think I cut first period to come all this way to check up on you."
My head popped from the pillow I had propped against the wall. I was sitting at my usual spot in the living room, curled in the armchair by the window with a romance novel. Sehun's otter plush was on my lap. "Minho! How - how did you get in?"
He pointed to the entrance way. "Your mom let me in before she left for work."
Ah, that traitor in black pumps and Beautiful perfume
He handed me a big pink daisy. "Here. I remembered you liked daisies."
I think I had only mentioned that once, but of course, Minho would remember. "Thanks." I touched the petals for a few seconds before placing it on the table next to me. Dang, this was hard.
"So are you ever coming back to school, or are you planning to hide out at home until the end of the year?" Minho leaned against the white doorframe. He was so tall that his lanky body seemed to fill up the entire doorway, making any thoughts of escape impossible. "Even though you're smart, I doubt the school will let you graduate from home. And it'll be a shame to be a high dropout just because some idiot confessed his feelings for you."
My heart wrenched at his forced-playful tone. He told me he liked me, and how did I respond? By running away and hiding until he had to come look for me himself. When had I turned into a six-year-old kid again? And most importantly, why couldn't I be sick for real? "I'm sorry, Minho. I just didn't -"
"You don't have to say it. I did kind of spring it on you. I had all these scenarios of how I would tell you, and blurting it out like that wasn't one of them. And you holing up at home is a pretty clear indication of how you feel." He swallowed loudly. "Right?"
I hesitated for a second and gave him a small nod. I didn't want to hurt him, but it wasn't right to lead him on anymore. Even if we did try to give it a shot, it would never work out. No matter how many chips were in our flavor. I couldn't make the feelings disappear. Eomma was right. I had to go where my heart wanted me to be. Even if it meant it could get broken. Even if Sehun only considered me a friend.
Minho gave me a half smile and tapped my temple with his finger. His left dimple appeared. "I figured. I'm not the smartest person in school for nothing, you know?"
Feeling awful, I gestured toward my green beanbag toward him. "So are you going to sit down or what?"
"Well, with an invitation like that, how can I refuse?" Instead of sitting, though, he straddled it. His feet kicked at the carpet while his finger poked at the torn hole in his faded jeans.
Fidgeting with my fingers, I said the first thing that came to mind. "I've never seen you in jeans before."
He looked down as though he had forgotten what we was wearing. "Yeah, it's been a while. I forgot how comfortable they were."
"Why didn't you ever wear them before?" Were we seriously discussing his clothes choices? Out of everything else we could have talked about, why did I -
"Because of you."
"What?"
Minho shrugged. A light blush was on his cheeks. "Soyeon told me that you liked guys who dressed up so . . . you know." He gestured toward his jeans.
I blinked at him. That was the onse answer I wasn't expecting, but it was the sweetest, mots perfect answer. There really was no other way to describe him. "Oh . . . sorry."
"Don't worry about it. It was kind of a stupid plan." He shifted from side to side and ran his fingers through his hair. "Although can you do me a favor?"
"Anything."
His feet knocked against the carpet. "Could we forget about the other day and just go back to being friends?"
My heart wrenched. Again. But I couldn't help the relief that went through me. I wasn't going to lose him as a friend after all.
Unable to help myself, I got up and hugged him. His arms instantly wrapped around me. It was warm and comforting, like a bowl of soup when you're sick. Or your thickest favorite sweater when it's cold outside. He squeezed tightly once before pushing me away.
Minho cleared his throat and shook his head. His black bangs fell into his face, covering his eyes. He still needed a haircut. "I stopped by your physics class to pick up your missed classwork, and it turns out you didn't miss a single thing. It was his son's birthday, so he had a party in his class. All day." He laughed loudly. "I was a fool not to take that class."
Taking the hint, I smiled and sat back on the sofa. "But you needed that biology class to get into premed program. You could still change your mind about, you know."
"I think we both know med school afterward are NOT going to happen. Poring over books all night long and cutting into cadavers the first year? No, thank you."
"I didn't think so."
We continued talking about our classes as if the past two days hadn't happened, then he had to leave for biology quiz. It was nice to have my friend back. Even if it was only for just a little bit.