new york city
Brianna
The water looked deep and inviting. I sighed and thought to myself, "Is this what you really want to do?" I heard foot steps but before I could psych myself out, I quickly removed all of my clothing and neatly folded them besides me before dipping my toes in it. I removed it quickly because of how cold it was. I just decided to jump into the water and closed myself and waited for everything to end.
I clenched my teeth together as my cheek shook rapidly because of the cold water. I managed to let my body float on the water as I looked up at the sky with two tears rolling down my face. I wrapped myself with my arms knowing that it won't help. I closed my eyes and just let everything take over.
About 15 minutes later, I felt my cold body being pulled out the cold water. I shot open my eyes and scrunched my face as I watch a light skin man hovered over my body. I quickly threw my hands over my chest and manage to fold my legs. "Who the fuck are you?" I growled crawling back from him.
"Why you cussin' at me? I just saved yo' ass." He said with a mean mug on his face.
"I ain't ask you for shit!" I yelled. I was kind of embarrassed because even though I didn't know this man from a can of paint. I didn't want him to think I was weak for trying to end my own life.
What was he doing out here anyways?
"What's wrong wit cho' face?" He said trying to reach out for my face. I smacked his hand down before he could reach for it and I looked at him like he done lost his marbles.
I studied his brown eyes, pink lips, structured cheek bones and growing beard. He was so attractive but I quickly looked away before rushing to grab my clothing and putting them on. "You can leave now." I frowned at him still sitting on the ground.
"Why you so mad for?"
"You don't know my life nigga! Fuck you and I said you can leave now!" I spat.
He put his hand up in the air, "You should thank me instead of yelling." He told me getting up and wiping the dirt off his black jeans. He walked about a few steps before looking behind back at me, "You sure you don't need some help?"
I rudely rolled eyes and didn't even look at him. I don't even know why he was being so annoying, like I asked him for any help. He finally left me and I was grateful for that. I got myself up and didn't even bother cleaning the dirt off of me. I decided to go back to the motel and try again tomorrow.
Walking along the side of the freeway, I shook my head at the events that happened moments ago. I finally arrived at the motel that I booked the night before. I swung the fridge door open before taking a sip of a half bottle of water that I drunk earlier that day.
I went into the dirty bathroom and held my breath from the wrecking stench. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a young weak girl. My narrow eyes were now swollen and my busted lip stopped bleeding but it was bloody red. I touched my cheek and felt the growing bruises that were forming. I sucked in my tears because I wouldn't dare let myself become any more broken and I quickly left out the bathroom. I took a seat on the motel bed and thought what I was going to do from this point on.
I stared in the darkness looking back in my life and reminiscing everything that I had to live through.
"Brianna if you don't bring yo' black ass down here right now!" My mothers bass boomed throughout the house. I quickly sat up from my bed and ran downstairs, "I'm coming!"
I stood in front of her as she laid on the couch with a remote in one hand and a beer in the other. "Yes ma'm?" She rolled her eyes at me in disgust, "Go get the money from my purse and go get me the pack of cigarettes and a beer."
"But ma I'm only 15, they not gon' give it to me. They said that was the last time."
"Bitch... come over here!" She said sitting up setting down her remote on her lap. I stood in place fearing to go closer to her. "Ain't I tell yo' dumb ass to get ova' here?"
I slowly picked up my feet and walked over to her before she smacked my face. "Now get yo' ass to the store right now!" I was so use to her hitting me around so I wasn't even bothered. I just felt onto my stinging cheek before walking into her room to go grab her money. I went ahead and put on my shoes on and walked towards the deli.
"Hey ma!" One of the boys catcalled after me. I didn't even budge to look at who it was. All these low life guys always trying to holla' at any and everything. I don't even know why they want to get with me because I wasn't even that pretty. I had a hip shaped like a young boy and barely any boobs which I was insecure of.
"You ugly anyways!" He yelled again before laughing with his friends. I turned the corner and went into the store and I went straight up to the counter before slamming my money down.
"Can I get a pack of Marlboro?" I asked him already knowing the answer.
"You want me to get arrested or something? Go tell ya mama to get them herself."
I sighed and shook my head, "C'mon man... She gonna get mad at me if I don't get it for her."
"You lucky I like you." He said smacking his lips and slamming down the pack of Marlboro. I walked over to the cooling fridge and I pulled out the beer that she usually drinks and walked back over to the counter with my head down. I was instantly shoved on the floor, "S-Sorry." I said pulling myself up looking up meeting eyes with a guy. He eyed me up and down before licking his bottom lips, "Nah you good ma."
I didn't say anything, I just awkwardly played with the beer that was in my hand.
"So what's your name?"
"Brianna." I mumbled.
"Ight that's cool, I'm Derek. I'ma see you around." He said before walking past me and doing what he was doing before.
I was disrupted from my thoughts with the loud knocking on the motel room. I didn't bother to open it because this was the type of motel to have prostitutes and pimps in and out. So I wasn't about to entertain anybody mess today.
"Brianna open the fucking door right now!" The voice behind the door yelled.
My heart instantly started to race as I quickly put on my shoes and grabbed the large black garbage bag that had my clothes in. Fuck. I knew there was no other way that I could leave expect the window and I wasn't taking that chance.
"Brianna! I ain't playin' witcho' fucking dumb ass!" He said as he continued to bang on the door.
There was no way in hell I was about to let him in here, so I was either gonna wait for him to leave or I was jumping out the window. I had no choice. The man managed to break open the door. I quickly stood to my feet as I watch his black eyes search the small room for me. Once he saw me, he charged at me like a bull and a red flag. He choked me up against the wall, we were so close that we shared the air that was in between us.
"Why the fuck you left bitch?" He said looking down at me, "Huh?"
"Fuck you Derek!" I managed to spit out. I wasn't about to let him punk me out.
He sent punches flying my way back to back. "If yo' ass do some stupid shit like that again, it's gon' be yo' ass!" He yelled grabbing onto my hair and pulling me out the motel.
At this point my lip was split in half and there was absolutely no way to stop the blood that was leaking from my bottom lip to stop. He threw me into the passenger side as he went around over to the drivers side. I looked over at the window with a frown on my face.
"Brianna."
I didn't respond as I continued to look at the window.
"Brianna!" He said while grabbing onto my hair and forcing me to face him.
"What the fuck you want!" I yelled letting some of the blood fly on his face.
He smacked on my face, "You like getting ya' ass beat huh?"
I didn't say anything back to him, "Now, when we back to the trap. You better clean that shit up off yo' face."
"You hear me?"
"Yes! Damn."
He laughed to himself before releasing my hair from his grip, "Dumb ass bitch."
We finally arrived the trap and he didn't even bother to open the door. I rolled my eyes and opened it for myself as I walked in behind him. I always in here, so I already knew mostly everybody and how to get around the building.
He lead me over to his office and I took a seat and crossed my arms, rolling my eyes at him every time he looked at me.
"Actin' like I won't hop over this table and go beat cha' ass." He said while he continued to count his money.
"Derek, all you do is hit me. But trust and believe me, I ain't scared of yo' dumb ass."
I don't even know how things went downhill from here...
I cuddled in the room with Derek. I looked up at him smiling. Ever since the encounter at the grocery store. We saw each other more often and I finally gave him my number and we started talking ever since that.
"Lemme ask you something, Bri." He told me.
I looked up at his eyes allowing him to go on.
He looked down at me, "I want you to be my girl." He said softly.
"Of course." I blushed trying to fight the smile that was forming on my face.
"Gimme a kiss."
I picked myself up from the bed and got closer over to him and smashed my lips against with him as we fought for dominance. He pulled back while he biting on his bottom lip smiling wide enough that I could see his grills.
"Brianna!" He yelled before slamming his fist on top of the marble desk top. "Can't hear or something? The fuck."
"What you want, damn!"
"Chris is one of my new niggas. He gon' take you back home and if I find out you giving him any trouble that's yo' ass."
I gladly stood up and rolled my eyes and I scanned around the room for this "Chris" that Derek was talking about. When I found him, it was the same guy who pulled me out the lake earlier in night. We both obviously shared the same both feeling of confusion, but I quickly changed my facial expression and walked out outside waiting for him to come out.
A few moments later, he finally came out the building and we both walked into his car and sat in silence for a second. He looked over at me, "Damn, what happened to your lip?" He asked looking at my split lip.
I ignored him and continued to look ahead and waited for him to start his car. "You ain't gonna answer?" I looked over at him, "Can you just get me from point A to point B, so I can go to bed?"
"You should be happy I'm taking ya' ass home." He said completely ignoring my request.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and tried to contain my attitude, but I just couldn't. "My nigga, if you don't step on the pedal right now and take me over to the house. I'ma get my ass out and walk."
"Then bye, acting like I wanna take you home." He said pulling over on the side of the street.
"Aight cool." I pushed open the car door and I started walking myself to the direction of the house and Chris pulled off and continued driving.
About 10 minutes later, the car came back around and slowly pulling besides me. I stopped and put my hands on my hips looking over at him. He let the car window down and leaned over, "Get yo' ass in the car forreal. I don't got all night."
"I'm not about to go back and forth with your rude ass."
"You calling me rude?"
I didn't say anything, I just continued to walk home like I wasn't about to be playing any games with him. A few seconds later, I heard the car door slam and he grabbed me from my arm and turned me around to face him. "Get ya ass in the car and I'm not gonna tell you again." His fragrance turned me on, but I wasn't about to get distracted by him. I jerked my arm from his grip, "Don't be touchin' on me." I strutted over to the car and opened the door before slamming it closed.
He sighed before gripping onto the steering wheel and pulling off. "You want something to eat?" Even though my stomach was growling, I didn't need shit from him. So I just continued to look out the window not replying. He finally arrived in front of Derek's large mansion that I lived in with him. Once I heard the door unlock, I quickly open it and walk out without thanking him and zooming straight into the house.