Today was the second day. Tomorrow, Harada-san and Nagakura-san would be leaving.
I still hadn't decided.
Instead, I decided to do a surprise feast with Chizuru, and together, the two of us went to the market to search for ingredients. I gave her the dishes that I had in mind and she chose the vegetables and produce for the food.
We'd stop at a stall in front of a crate brimming with vegetable and she'd pick two that looked exactly the same and say: "This one is bigger and has a brighter skin—it'll be better to cook this one."
And they'd look exactly the same.
Honestly, I didn't know how the girl was capable of doing such magic. She probably had magic eyes which could see things the ordinary eyes couldn't—especially for vegetables. Yes, that had to be it.
"We have to get Okita-san too," I thought aloud as we walked down the streets, each of us carrying baskets brimming with fresh vegetables and other ingredients on our backs. "It's only natural for him to join the feast too."
"Yes, of course," agreed Chizuru, nodding her head as she did. She chewed on her lips. "He's been quite ill lately..."
There was a certain tightness in my chest when she said that, as I remembered that the reason Okita-san wasn't with the Shinsengumi due to now was because he was busy resting because his tuberculosis. I pursed my lips as I stared down at the ground. About his tuberculosis...it was so frustrating. Back in modern day, there would be medication for that. But here in late nineteenth century Edo Period...it was considered an incurable disease.
Stop being so depressed, I scolded myself mentally. You're preparing a big dinner for the captains tonight—do it with a positive attitude!
Forcing a smile on my face, I beamed up at the sky.
"No excuse for him to not join in the feast." I pumped my fist but then gave a second thought. "Alright, perhaps he might not have the best appetite right now...but he can take part in the merriment, right?"
My words seemed to spark a brighter attitude with Chizuru, because she smiled warmly alongside me. "Yes, indeed."
We picked out a few more ingredients before heading over to Okita-san's.
"Wake up, sleepyhead!" I declared my presence behind the shoji door with a brisk shout before shoving the door open and stomping into the room.
"Well, do barge in, it's not as if I mind at all," Okita-san said sarcastically as he eased himself up from his futon.
"Hello, Okita-san!" Chizuru greeted cheerfully as she sat down next to me beside Okita-san's bed.
I rolled my eyes. "As if you were doing anything before I came in."
He let out a small "hmph" but managed to give me his signature smirk and my heart warmed a bit at the sight of it. Despite that, a small part of me withered at the sight of him. Like me, he was looking especially worse for wear. He'd grown thinner and his skin a sickly pale tone. Shadows had gathered under his worn-looking eyes. His vitality had visibly gone down the scale quite a bit. But there was still a light in those emerald-greens. A light of life and fire. And that part reassured me despite his tuberculosis-ridden body.
Abruptly, I noticed that he was studying me, and his brows had furrowed a bit and his mouth pressed into a thin line.
"I see you're not looking quite well," he remarked.
I sniffed and shot him a glare, crossing my arms. "Speak for yourself."
We had a silent staring contest, the fires in both our eyes burning equally bright and strong, neither planning to go out any second soon.
Finally, Chizuru broke our silent dispute with a broken, awkward laugh. She cleared her throat a few times before beginning.
"A-Ah, well, Okita-san. So, Suzuran-chan and I would like to take you to a feast that we'll be holding for the captains later on this evening."
Okita-san slowly broke away from my stare and turned to look at Chizuru peculiarly. He cocked his head.
"A feast? Interesting."
Chizuru nodded eagerly as she placed her hands over her lap. Her eyes were shining excitedly. "Suzuran-chan and I just went to get ingredients from the marketplace. We're planning to cook quite the meal."
Despite her enthusiasm, Okita-san gave a dry smile as he shook his head. "Sorry, but I haven't been having much appetite lately. I'll probably be a killjoy to the cheery environment."
I snorted and looked exasperatedly at him. "Come on. You're annoying and teasing but you're never a killjoy. If anything, you'd make the environment even more cheerful."
"That's right!" Chizuru agreed. She exchanged grins with me. "The more the merrier, right, Suzuran-chan?"
"You said it." I gave her a quick thumbs up before turning my attention back to Okita-san. "Well? What do you say?"
The captain gave a great, big sigh and rubbed his forehead. He muttered inaudibly under his breath for a second before peeking back up at me and Chizuru and I raised an eyebrow.
"Hurry, hurry, time's awasting," I said matter-of-factly.
Okita-san laughed. It was a genuine one, lighthearted with the spark of life. "There's no defeating you two, is there?"
"Nope," Chizuru replied fondly.
"I take it that you're coming?" I said warmly.
I didn't need his reply. Just the twinkle of his eyes was enough to tell me that the answer to that question was "yes".
***
We stayed with Okita-san for a while until the time came for us to go back and start preparing for dinner. He'd changed out of his nagajuban and dressed in a casual, pale-green kimono at my request, and now the three of us headed down the sunset-lit streets of Edo, laughing, teasing, talking and just having fun with each other on our way back to the hatamoto mansion the Shinsengumi was staying in.
"I'm not joking!" I protested. "I really did save Hijikata-san's head! From that horrible hairstyle he was going to have if he cut his hair by himself, that is."
Okita-san shook his head and tsked. "You should have just left him be, Suzuran-chan."
I sighed over-heavily and rolled my eyes. "I'm doing a favor for my eyes. I don't want to see that horribly-styled hair every time I past Hijikata-san."
"Good point," agreed Okita-san.
"Guys, aren't you being a bit too critical towards Hijikata-san?" Chizuru said helplessly.
Okita-san and I exchanged glances.
"Nope" we said simultaneously.
I bursted into a fit of laughter right after while Okita-san grinned delightedly.
As I was laughing though, I felt a wave of nausea sweep over me, accompanied by a sudden shock throughout my entire body. My throat became incredibly dry, so much that I choked and my esophagus burned as if it had been scraped by sandpaper. A sudden jabbing pain in my stomach sent my eyes snapping wide open and I crumpled to my knees, gasping and clutching at my throat.
Oh God...not this...not right now...
Blades...blades were cutting into my side, my ribs, my intestines...
"Suzuran-chan!"
I distinctly heard Chizuru's voice. It was like I was underwater. All noises and sounds—it was all muffled and barely audible. My vision too—it was all fuzzy. I couldn't see clearly. All I saw was a distinct smudge which I guessed was Chizuru's face, and another smudge farther away...which had to be Okita-san.
"What the hell is going on?" I could hear the ghostly fear in his voice. "Her hair..."
Groaning, I curled up into a ball. This pain...oh God...I hadn't had this in awhile; I thought that the rasetsu blood was slowly draining away from my body. Apparently not.
"Blood." The word just automatically came out of my mouth. I couldn't even control it. "Blood. Give me... blood..."
No. No blood. Absolutely not.
"No blood," I forced myself to mutter. "No. No more. No..."
I inhaled sharply and was barely able to suppress the scream that was going to tear out of my mouth.
"Here, Suzuran-chan. I have it. Blood. You can have mine." Chizuru sounded so desperate and I could see her wrist coming close to me.
A strangled noise erupted from the back of my throat and I seized her arm before it could get to my mouth. Even if I couldn't see her clearly, I focused my eyes on the pale smudge which was her face.
"No," I rasped. "Don't. I can't. N-No..."
Warm and thin arms slid under my fetal-positioned body and I found myself being lifted up. This scent...this scent of pine and honey...it was Okita-san.
"We can't have anyone see her like this." His voice reverberated through his body as I leaned against his chest, gritting my teeth so tightly that l wasn't sure how on earth they weren't crushed to smithereens already. "We'll take care of things in that alley up ahead."
My breaths still heavy and labored, I waited until we were blanketed in the shadows and that I was set down on to the ground before I allowed my body to twitch and tremble, though I forced my screams into whimpers.
"What's happening to her?" I heard Okita-san question, his voice hard.
"She's having...She's having one of her thirst-attacks. All I know is that it's when her body experiences a sudden withdrawal from the rasetsu blood it yearns, and then she experiences this intense horrible agony..." Chizuru's voice was shaky as she explained the situation to Okita-san. "They've been getting worse lately. There's nothing we can do except wait for the agony she's suffering right now to die out."
Dirt filled the bottom of my fingernails as I clawed at the ground, a burning storm raged inside my body, like a wild beast thrashing in a cage as it desperately tried to break free. My eyes bulged and dried as I gasped for breath. This cage did not plan on breaking anytime soon.
Cool, delicate fingers brushed my sweat-soaked cheek. Their touch sent ice crawling through my veins and all of a sudden, I couldn't hear anything else beside a smooth, casual voice which I recognized as mine, and yet simultaneously, not mine.
I raised my head weakly to see that my surroundings had been blacked out. The city, the alley, Chizuru and Okita-san were all gone and I was in some sort of dark dimension. The only light was the one shining down on the person before me.
Which was me.
"You," I whispered. I recognized the girl. She was the rasetsu version of me. Hair white as the moon cascading down her back and over her shoulders as she bent down before me. Skin pale in an eerie and ethereal tone. Eyes like glowing rubies. Her lips quirked in a cold, enigmatic smile.
"Hello," she said simply before clicking her tongue on the roof of her mouth. "You ought to have some more manners towards yourself."
At this, anger twisted and curled inside of me and I glowered up at her. "What do you mean towards myself? You are not me."
She tittered, as if I was a child who was trying to convince her of a fact which wasn't true. She nodded, eyes gleaming. "Right. Let's stick with that then, if it's what you think."
Still glaring, I stood up and stepped closer to her so that our distance apart was just around several inches. I stared intensely into those ruby eyes, not wavering before them.
"I. Am. Not. Giving in." I enunciated each word slowly so that they could fully sink into her. "Not now. Not ever. So you can crawl back to whatever hellish dimension you came from, stay there forever, and never come back up."
Sighing, she shrugged and stepped back. Intertwining her fingers together behind her head she spun on her heels and began sauntering away from me, her footsteps light and strides unnaturally smooth. Like she was gliding on water.
"I only came to check," she called back as the darkness began fading away, like fresh paint sliding down a wall. "It's been awhile since I've seen you. Besides, our time's almost up." She paused and twisted her head slightly back, just enough for me to see the sinister gleam in those glowing red eyes. "When the time comes, I'll be the one taking over."
With that, the darkness went crumbling away and I found myself lying on the cold dirt ground of the alley once more, the pain slowly ebbing away from my body as it heaved up and down. The twitching ceased and I lied there breathless, unable to move from the huge drain of energy that the thirst-attack had on me.
Giving a weak smile up at Okita-san and Chizuru, I raised a shaky thumbs up.
"S-Still...me."
***
Chizuru and I had really done a good job with the feast. I had to admit that.
Trays and plates laden with an unbelievable amount of food—ranging from slices of grilled fish, pickled radishes, simmered vegetables, steamed goodies, and so much more.
"This is good stuff!" Nagakura-san roared, raising his sake cup as if to make a toast. But then he downed it right away and let out a bark of satisfaction. From across the room, he caught my eyes and grinned toothily at me. "You and Chizuru really did a great job with this feast!"
I laughed and waved a hand. "I figured everyone could use to relaxation and fun with the tension that's been going on."
Striding over to Nagakura-san, I lifted a sake bottle and tilted it over his cup, filling it to the brim. I nodded at him encouragingly. "So enjoy it tonight! I don't plan on doing anything like this anytime soon afterwards!"
"Mm-mph! Anksh! Ish esh reweh gweh!"
"Heisuke, don't talk with your mouth full. I can't understand you."
I waited until the boy had swallowed for him to say what he'd meant.
"I mean to say—thank you and that this is really great!" Heisuke cheered as he began stuffing his mouth once more. He groaned. "Mm, it's been such a long time since I've had great food like this!"
"Yes, thank you very much, Katsurou-kun!" Kondo-san called from the front of the room. His expression was warm as he looked at me kindly. "You and Yukimura-kun must had put in a lot of effort to prepare this dinner for us."
"Our little treat to you guys for taking care of us for so long." I beamed brightly at him and gestured grandly at the feast. "So please eat up and enjoy!"
Chizuru was off to the side pouring Hijikata-san some sake as they made conversation with each other. The sight of the two of them warmed my heart as I knew how they were going to end up. Lovers.
If only they'd get a move on things. I sighed.
Heading over to Saito-san who had a smile gracing his usually-expressionless face, I poured him a bit of sake.
"Thank you." He nodded at me.
"Just want you to enjoy," I replied. Flashing him a grin, I gazed out at the group of captains. Nagakura-san, Heisuke and Harada-san were stirring up another argument as Heisuke shook his fist at Nagakura-san, his face all red and blotchy. I giggled, watching the trio. "They really are the Three Idiots, aren't they?"
"There's a reason why they earned the name," Saito-san said dryly as he sipped the wine. He casted a curious sideways glance at me. "But why the sudden feast?"
In return to his question, I raised a brow and shot back another question. "Why not?"
At his slightly taken-aback expression and the knit of his brows, I laughed and winked at him. "No reason in particular. Just doing what I can to keep the atmosphere a bit lighter."
Sighing, Saito-san shook his head and gave me a tired look in spite of the smile which tugged on his lips. "I understand. I won't push any further."
Of course. He was too clever to be tricked by my happy and casual answer. Ducking my head, I smiled secretly to myself.
"Thank you."
After making some light conversation with him—which for some reason led to him nearly chopping off my head at one point due to a small comment on a certain cat; my question was why he even got mad enough to decapitate me over a cat. Afterwards, I moved to Hijikata-san, accompanying him along with Chizuru.
"This really is quite the meal you've put together," he complimented as a hint of a smile teased his lips. "Well done."
Laughing, I nodded and stretched out my arms. "Of course it's well done, Hijikata-san. After all, Chizuru and I prepared it. Right, Chizuru-chan?"
The girl nodded on Hijikata-san's other side, flashing me a happy and proud smile. "Right!"
Hijikata-san chuckled and shook his head. "Still the bit of a braggart aren't you?"
"Excuse me?"
"Nothing, nothing."
I pouted a bit before sighing and crossing my arms. No use getting grumpy in such a festive and happy environment. Casting aside his comment from earlier, I smiled warmly at the captains before us.
"The Shinsengumi has come a long way, hasn't it?" I remarked.
Hijikata-san nodded in agreement. "It had. Hard to believe that we use to be a bunch of ronins from a small and poor dojo. And even before that I was just some kid peddling medicine. Ha."
He chuckled and I could hear the nostalgia in his voice. There was a certain wistfulness and also fondness when he spoke of the Shinsengumi's past. Almost like a grandparent talking about the first child he raised and then the grandchild coming along afterwards. At this comparison, I giggled. Hijikata-san a grandfather? Wonder if he would be a demon on his kids and grandkids as well.
"What?" Hijikata-san asked curiously.
"Just imagining you as a grandfather." I grinned cheekily up at him.
He scowled, nose scrunching up and brows furrowing. "Where on earth did you get that idea from, you foolish girl?"
"Now who are you calling a fool?" I demanded, temper beginning to rise as I glared up at him.
He looked away and took a sip of his sake. Chizuru peeked around him at me and gave me the 'don't-ruin-the-cheerful-mood-please' look and I sighed.
Fine, I mouthed to her.
After a few minutes of silence, I spoke up again.
"Hey, Hijikata-san," I began softly.
"Yes?"
"Thank you."
He raised a brow as he peered down at me out of the and corner of his eyes. "You're welcome, but where did that come from? If anything I should be thanking you."
I laughed at this, and looked affectionately up at him. This time, there were no scowls exchanged, no annoyed feelings, and no bickering. For the first time, I just felt this warmth and peaceful feeling towards this Demon Vice Commander who had grounded me so many times, but at the same time, cared for me as well.
"I just want to let you know that I appreciate all you've done for me—taking me in and all. I know that it must had been difficult, having another girl in the Shinsengumi. Oh! Sorry that I sometimes cause trouble for you." I chuckled nervously as I scratched the back of my head. "Trouble" was mainly sneaking out, which on few occasions had earned me major grounding.
No fond memories of that.
"Oh, you've caused plenty of trouble," Hijikata-san muttered under his breath. "The years with you must had decreased my lifespan by a good decade or so."
"I heard that, Hijikata-san."
"I'm merely speaking the truth." He shrugged. But then his mouth quirked into a small smile, one in which I saw genuine warmth and kindness. The one which was so rare on him. "Suzuran, having you around was troubling, I admit that. But you also make things a lot...livelier in the Shinsengumi."
I startled when I felt something large but also soft land on my head. Peeking up, I saw in surprise that it was Hijikata-san's hand.
"I do not regret having you as a member of the Shinsengumi," he said gently.
For a moment, I just stared at him. I didn't know what to make of this. This side of the Demon Vice Commander was a part of him that I'd barely ever get a glimpse at. And now, right before me...
A radiant grin stretched across my face and I beamed up at him. I might as well go along with it.
"I'm glad."
Afterwards, I decided to enjoy the feast for myself. Meaning that I nearly sent the Shinsengumi's sake supply down the drain. I must had had what, five, six bottles?
Oh who cared!
What a fun night it was! I danced with so many people! With Chizuru I twirled her around till she collapsed in a dizzy mess, with Heisuke I jumped and spun and I even managed to drag Saito-san up and got him to do an Irish folk dance that I learned in eighth grade with me.
He was actually pretty good—I think.
The world was one big kaleidoscope of colors and happiness for me. I felt as if I was bouncing in heaven after chugging down all those bottles of sake. Everything seemed so vivid and it was this beautiful palette of colors and voices! I shouted in delight as I leaped and spun, flying through the sky in ecstasy.
Of all the colors, I didn't go near or touch the beautiful auburn and amber.
A/N
Omg, writing this chapter had been SO HARD. Updates will probably be much slower actually, since TNGI is just beginning to come to its end. I'm hoping to get more romance going on with Suzuran and Harada, but otherwise, I'll just continue doing my best for this!
Original Planning Fact #4
I considered pairing Suzuran with Okita when I first began planning TNGI.