'I don't understand you or anybody else'
I don't own any of Riverdale, only my characters
After the incident with the car, mom decided to take sick leave to get back into her usual mind set of bad jokes and late night snacking. When Marcus told me she was bipolar, it didn't come as a shock. Apart of me already knew, I've seen her medication, lithium, mood stabilisers, anti-depressants.
This was my mother, and I'm fine with it, I really am. She's back on her medication again, which is pretty good. It took some convincing from Marcus and I but we got her back on the stuff, she hasn't been by herself lately. Shuts herself inside and just lays there for hours on end.
Today she was lying in bed again, her duvet up to her chin. I was going to go out today, spend the day with Jughead make up for ditching him at Pops. But he was helping Betty track down her sister Polly. So that gives me the day with mom.
I crawled into her bed, she shifted giving me room as I snuggled under the blankets like I used to as a kid. We didn't talk, we didn't need to. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was slow and calm, but I knew she was awake. Her eye twitched when they're closed, I buried my face into the pillow. It still smelt of dads aftershave, the peppermint one I gave him for Christmas last year.
Half of his stuff was still here, mom decided to be nice and not throw all of it out the window. So instead she packed it up and boxes which sat in his cupboard. Mom still kept her wedding ring, emergency cash she said it was, I wouldn't have guessed she'd pawn it off.
"Anna" she spoke, I looked at her. Her eyes were opened as she stared at her dresser, "yeah" I said quietly.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before"
"It's okay mom"
"I was just afraid you'd be like Lena" she said softly, I frowned "Lena?"
"When she found out, she couldn't handle it I guess. Being the oldest it would've been expected she'd take care of me when I couldn't" she spoke quietly, I rolled towards her wrapped my arms around her holding her to me tightly. "I'm not like Lena mom, I'm not going to leave" I said.
She sighed "everybody always leaves" she took my arms off her and stood up, walking towards her bathroom. I frowned and stood up following after her "mom" I said, she went to shut the door but I stopped it keeping the door open.
"Mom, talk to me" I said a lump forming in my throat, she pushed the door harder trying to keep me out. "Anna, please leave me alone" she said.
"No, I'm not leaving mom. Not till you talk to me"
Her face hardened and she opened the door with a snap "alright Anna, you wanna talk to me. Fine!" She snarled.
"My husband left me, Lena left, Marcus left, you'll be next Anna. Because everyone always leaves me" she snapped.
My mouth hung open at her, why didn't I see this earlier. She's alone.
"Mom" I whispered tears pooling in my eyes, "Anna, please just-just leave me alone. I wanna be alone" she said a sternness in her breaking voice.
"Are you sure?" I asked, she nodded and closed the door.
I felt a salty hot tear trail down my cheek, I sniffed wiping it away. I sat on the end of her bed, I took my phone and dialled Jughead's number.
It dialled a few times before I heard his voice through the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hey Beanie" I said trying to swallow the lump in my throat, "Bella, what's going on?" He asked clearly an excited "um, I just wanted to see how the search for Polly was gong"
"It's going great actually, Betty and I tracked her down to this 'Sisters of Quiet Mercy'"
Sisters of Quiet Mercy, oh shit
"That's great" I lied trying not to stutter, but let's say this, it's not great "how's Betty doing?" I asked, "determined is a definite, she just wants to find Polly. Find out what happened between her and Jason"
"Besides the fact that they were engaged, I'd like to see if anything else went down between them" I said "I think we're all hoping that them being engaged was the only shocker we receive" Jughead replied.
I nodded scratching my nose as I heard the shower run in the bathroom, "so what is Annabelle up to today?" Jughead chuckled.
"Nothing really, I'm just taking care of mom" I said, "is she sick?"
I looked up to the door and replied "something like that"
"What does that mean?"
"Nothing, just forget about it" I said "is everything alright Anna?" Juggie asked "of course it is, I'm fine. She's fine we're all fine"
He paused for a long moment before drawing out "okay"
"But tell me if something comes up, you can talk to me" he said, "I know" I replied lying down on the bed and racking my hands through my hair. "So dinner at Pop's tonight" I said, "definitely I'll buy the coffee and milkshakes" he replied I could basically hear his smile.
"I'll buy the burgers and fries" I grinned, "great, I have to go Betty and I are about to walk in. I'll text you later"
I pursed my lips and replied "yeah, I'll text you later. Bye beanie"
"Bye Bella"
He hung up, I took the phone away from my ear and threw it on the bed. I let out a huff of air and closed my eyes, I listened to the water running in the shower. The lump formed in my throat again and my eyes filled with tears, I opened my eyes and I felt the hot tears beginning to pour out.
First my mom, now Jughead's about to find out about The Sisters of Quiet Mercy. How can today get any worse, God everyone's going to find out about me now. Find out what I did.
Marcus's P.O.V
"So where's Anna?" Veronica asked picking at her fries, "at home" I said giving her a very vague answer.
"Is she sick?"
"No"
"Is she going to be here tomorrow?"
"I don't know"
"Can I ask you a question?" Veronica asked "besides the four questions you just asked me, sure"
"I want you to answer honestly" she said "what is it Veronica?" I asked, she sighed pushing her tray away from her "what really happened between you and Cheryl?"
"You're seriously asking me that" I said, "yes I am, girls have to stick together and I wanna know the real reason why you broke up with Cheryl" she replied. My jaw clenched and my glare hardened "that's none of your business Veronica" I said sternly, "she's my friend so it is" Veronica retorted.
"Back off Veronica, you'll only get yourself into someone else's mess" I said standing up grabbing my bag and walking away from her. I ended up skipping school and heading towards Pops, so now I'm sitting in the parking lot my hands in my hair and my head against my steering wheel. What happened after Jason's funeral was a definite eye opener, not just for Anna or mom, but for me. I can't skip town again, no matter how hectic things can get.
I left Anna and mom alone with that monster, no doubt he hurt Anna since I wasn't there to take the beatings, or mom took them for Anna. That's how sick he was, he'd abuse us, all of us. He made Lena leave, then me, if he was still living with us he would've made Anna leave as well. Leaving mom all alone with him. That's how he wanted it, just him and mom, he hated us kids no doubt about it. He wanted us all gone, people like that just shouldn't have kids. The only reason Lena, Anna and I were born was because mom actually wanted us.
BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
I jumped at the sound of my alarm, breaking my thoughts. I turned the alarm off and saw the title I had for it.
Happy juice time
I reached over into the glovebox and pulled out a bottle of antipsychotics, I popped two out and swallowed them with some water. That's right, I'm bipolar like mom. Genetics, her dad had it and she got it the same with moms older brother. Unlike mom I took my medication, they still didn't improve on my depression stages or my episodes but at least I stuck to it. Anna doesn't know, her knowing about mom was too much already. I can tell, but the thing is Anna is showing the signs. Another reason why I left, I didn't want to own up to the fact that my mother and sister were bipolar, call it denial.
I was still at home when Anna was in one of her stages, wrapped in her blanket, the curtains shut. She laid in that bed for weeks, we eventually put her in a psych ward. Especially after what happened.....
I shook the thought from my head and got out of my car and walked into Pops, I sat in a random booth and ordered coffee with cream. I closed my eyes and laid my head on the table, I ran my fingers through my hair gently tugging on the ends.
Another thing comes to mind, Veronica. She's not going to stop trying to find out what happened between Cheryl and I, maybe I should tell her. And risk my dad finding out, I don't think so. I can't tell mom, or Anna, maybe I can see my old therapist about it. I just really need to talk to someone about it, the secret is crushing me.
"I finally found a difference between you and Anna" a voice perked up, I looked up seeing Veronica "are you following me now?" I asked frowning at her. "I am actually, and the difference is you have cream in your coffee. Anna likes it black" she said "so it's both Anna and I, do you have a little Underwood fetish" I smirked.
"No, I'm just curious" she shrugged sliding into the booth, I took my cup of coffee and took a sip. "Curiosity killed the cat" I said "good thing I have nine lives then" Veronica smirked, she crossed her arms leaning forward towards me.
"So, are you ready to tell me about Cheryl?" She asked, "I'm not telling you anything" I countered. "What's so bad that you can't tell me?" V asked, "it's not bad, it's personal V"
She didn't say anything, merely looked away from me flicking hair off her shoulder. I placed my head in my hands, silently groaning.
"Hey Marcus" a cheery voice said, it was beginning of the school year, first day back. My head was pressed against my locker praying I wasn't at school. I looked up seeing Cheryl Blossom strut over to me, her black turtle neck with her usual spider clip on. A red pencil skirt and studded boots, her red hair curled and hanging on one shoulder.
"Hey Cheryl" I said opening my locker "you're not looking so hot, are you okay?" She asked batting her lashes, "I'm okay, just tired" I answered giving her a small smile and turning to my locker.
However she didn't leave instead she took a step towards me so she leaned in the locker next to mine, "I'm having a small back to school party Friday night, wanna come?"
I looked at her and smiled "I can't, I'm going out to dinner with Lena" I'm trying to be nice, I've never really spoken to Cheryl before. We were friends in kindergarten but that's it really.
"Oh, well that's not what Lena said" Cheryl smirked, "you invited Lena?"
"Of course I did, anybody who's anybody will have Lena at their party. She's the life of it" Cheryl grinned, "so are you coming or not?" She asked crossing her arms over her chest.
"Will there be booze?"
"Only the best" Cheryl smirked "I'm in"
That was the first real conversation I had with Cheryl, "alright I'll text you the details, and I'll see you there" she said. I gave her one of my most genuine smiles I could muster, she blushed instantly at me and turned away.
"Bye Cheryl" I called out, she spun around and waved her cheeks still tinted red.
Little did I know of the shit storm heading my way after that party.