"Jamie?" I hear my mother call out for me from the hallway. I hiccup as I push my face into my pillow.
I loathed myself.
"What's wrong?" She asked standing outside my door.
"Nothing's wrong!" I scream, my voice raspy.
"Honey open the door" my mother said softly.
"Mom please leave me alone! I want to be alone." I scream.
Anger lacing each word.
"Tell me what's wrong..." She stops talking.
"I'll tell later, leave for now" I said. I could hear her walk away.
I sighed at lay my head down.
"I'm a monster" I whisper to myself.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
"Mom please!" I scream. Tears were starting to form again.
"Bunny...."I hear his voice calling out for me.
I stood up from the bed.
"Bunny open the door" he said. I could see him forcing the doorhandle.
"Evan!?" He calls out. I breath out wiping my tears away.
"Evan open the door for me" he ordered.
I open the door and take a few steps back.
"Baby..." He whispers cupping my cheeks.
"You were crying" he states.
I just stayed quite and look at him.
"Evan I... Talk to me" he ordered. I open my mouth buy close it again.
"Start talking Evan" He said kissing my cheek.
I close my eyes and point at the bed.
"You wanna lay down" he asked. I nod.
I couldn't even blink properly, and he was picking me up by my thighs. I instantly wrap my legs around him. He bring us to my bed and lays down with me on top of him.
We stay quiet, he wraps an arm around my waist, almost near my ass and with his other hand he strokes my back up and down.
"You have something that's mine" he whispers. I hug him tighter.
"You read it ,didn't you?" He states. I whimper.
"You shouldn't have done that." He said.
"I knew you took it, I wanted you to kn...." He cuts himself off.
"I'm sorry" I whisper.
"I'm sorry" I said tears falling down from my face.
"Baby stop crying. It's okay" he said. I look up at him.
"I'm sorry Mateo. "
"I'm sorry"
"I'm sorry"
"I'm sorry" I kept rambling while crying. And he let me cry. He let me cry my guilt away.
"I don't take you for granted" he said kissing the top of my head after I had calmed down.
"I didn't have the right to treat you that way. That's sick, Mateo" I mutter sitting up, straddling his waist.
"You were young" was his argument.
"Stop defending me. We both know that bullying people isn't good. It's fucked up, you fuck people up, their minds. You kill them emotionally" I glare at him.
"I'm not mad at you..."
"Stop it, Mateo! Stop saying it's okay when it wasn't. Oh my God I pushed you from the stairs, you could've died!"I scream hysterically at him.
He snaps, sitting up covering my mouth with his hand.
"Shut up. Shut it! What do you want me to say, huh!? That what you did ruined me? That you made me a monster!? Well it didn't, it made me a better person. And the reason why I keep saying it's okay is because I don't want you to beat yourself over it! I don't want you to become mentally unstable!"
I was going to speak against his hand but he scolded me.
"I said shut up! Now listen to me. You need to know that what you did was indeed bad, but it's in the past. I didn't bully you because of what you did to me, no I did it because what you were doing was wrong, I wanted you to feel what people feel who are being bullied..... And I love you no matter what, even if you pushed me down the fucking stairs. I will always love you.... You're the boy I fell in love with. You're the boy I loved ever since kindergarten! And I don't want to hear another thing about what happened or so god help me I will spank that flat ass of yours till you can't feel anything!" He said breathing out.
"Are we clear, Bunny?" He asked looking at me.
I nod looking at him. I was taken aback by his outburst.
He loved me.
"Now go to sleep. You look like shit."he said pushing me away. I lay down as he stares at me.
"Go to sleep" he whispers stroking my head.
"You'll be here when I wake up?" I asked recalling the first time he slept here he went away right after I had fallen asleep.
"I'll be here..."he said laying down beside me.
"I love you..."I whisper stroking his face.
"I love you too" he said rolling his eyes.
"You know how much I care for you, right?" He whispers carousing my bruised cheek.
"You don't care for me!" I pant. I was breathing hard, because I was running away from him.
But eventually he caught up with me.
"I'll always catch you. In the end you'll always come to me." He patted my head.
I glare at him.
"I hate you!"
"I love you" he mocked
"You don't know what love is" I laugh hysterically.
" You're right I don't"
I gasp waking up. I look at him, he was staring at me.
"You lied to me " I whisper. He frowns.
"You told me you didn't know what love is" I said looking at him, carousing his cheek.
"How could you love me so much?" I ask.
"I bullied you ..." I whispered.
"I didn't give you a single drop of love. And you just kept showering me with love. How could you love me so much?" I whisper hoarsely.
He smiles at me.
"I use to go to church with my mom. I was told that god is someone we should love the most. But I can't do that , I love you the most. So I see my god in you. I feel content when I see you. When I see you smiling my heart flutters everytime. And if this is love then know one thing...." He whispers leaning in.
"I love you more than god himself" he said kissing me.
"You see your god in me?" I asked frowning. He chuckles.
"My mother said the person you see your god in is the person you love the most. I can't help but worship you whenever I see you. I couldn't help but stare at you everytime I saw you. You were slowly becoming more important than my life it self"
He said.
"I remember how desperate I use to be when we were little, only to get your attention" he said.
I stare at him. He loves me so much! My heart can't take this.
"And I mean it. You're mine. I won't tolerate you loving someone else. I want you. I'll always want you. " he said, but this time his dark side coming out.
He meant it.
"I didn't bully you because I like it, no I don't. If you're wrong I'll teach you a lesson, I'll correct you" he said.
"I'm talking!" he said shutting me up before I could even talk.
"I want to be with you. You only. I want you as my boyfriend. The last person I'll see when going to sleep. I want a future with you. I want to date you, to hold your hand, to kiss you, to...." He stops taking a deep breath.
He leans closer, grinding his hips against mine.
"To make love to you. To fuck you hard" he whispers mischief glistening in his eyes.
"So tell me Evan, will you be my boyfriend ?" he said. With the darkness playing in his eyes he looked hot.
"No"
He frowns.
"No I won't because you didn't even bring me out on a proper date!" I said. He rolls his eyes, but I could see he was relieved.
"You want to go out on a date? Fine I'll bring you " he grins at me before nipping my neck.
"Matty?" I call out.
"Did you just call me Matty?" he asked looking up at me.
"Yeah it's a cute name" I smile at him.
He scoffs rolling his eyes.
"Matty"
"Matty"
"Matty"
"Stop"
"Matty"
"Matty"
"Mat..." I didn't even finish before he slams his lips against mine.
He kissed me soflty at first but his kisses got needy. He was kissing me hard, his tongue demanding entrance.
"Evan!" I hear my mother scream from the door way. Mateo gets off of me, laying beside me, pushing his face in my neck.
Why didn't I close the door? I mentally face palm myself.
"Mom it's not what it looks like" I blurt out. Mateo snorts beside me and I elbow him.
"Ouch!"
"I've left dinner in the microwave warm it up and give it to Mateo. I'll be going to sleep but don't think that this thing is over, no it isn't young man. You need to tell me in the morning what happened " she said looking at me.
"Yes mom" I said
"And Mateo if you hurt my son, I'll personally see to it that I'll be chopping your male organ off. And no sexual stuff " she winked at him before walking away.
"Why didn't you lock the door!?" I said standing up.
"No bunny come back " he said holding his hands out.
"But I'm hungry " I said.
"But I want you here" he pouts at me.
He looked so cute.
"Stop looking at me like that" he said rolling on his stomach.
He sighs.
"Fine wait here I'll bring the food in here" I said before walking away.
After I had warmed up my food, I took a bottle of water and walked up to my room.
"What are you doing?" I asked as I enter the room, slamming it shut with my feet.
"What's your password?" he asked looking at my phone.
"5042" I said. He nods.
He kept doing god knows what with it. I sat down on the bed taking a spoon full of mashed potatoes.
I moan at how creamy it was.
"You have John's number but not mine" he said calmly. Too calm.
"You didn't give me yours" I said carefully.
"Here" he tossed my phone in my lap. I glare at him before taking it. I couldn't even catch a ball properly.
"Boyfriend Mateo? Seriously?" I said shaking my head at how he saved his number on my phone.
"Yeah" he shrugged looking at me.
I roll my eyes and take another bite.
"Give me some" he said scooting closer to me.
"No!" I said.
"Yes!"
"N…" he takes the plate out of my hand and takes a bite.
After taking a few more bites he gives me my plate back.
"I've had better" he said before taking the water bottle out of my hand.
"ungrateful brat" I said. He just smiled looking at me.
"I love you, you know that right?" he said.
"I know " I whispered looking down at the plate.
He grasp my chin in his hand, making me look up at him.
"No I REALLY love you " he spoke each word with love.
"I know Mateo and I love you too" I said pecking his lips.
"Just know that I'll always love you, okay?" he said.
"Always "
"Promise?"
"I promise "