Mikes POV
That shit funny as fuck that she just asked me that when I was just thinking about that shit. I had asked myself the same question and I knew the answer as I looked into her eyes. She looked so fucking pretty I wanted to kiss her, but she looked so fragile and I didn't want to make her even more scared.
"I know I love you because I jumped on front of a car for you baby. I think about you every day and night." I placed her cheek into my palm. Her skin was so soft I wanted to just fucking hold her and make love to her and make her feel like she is beautiful and worthy of someone’s affection- Because he is definitely worthy of mine. “I know because I am declaring myself to you in a busy ass mall with people staring all in my face and shit.”
I looked into her eyes, but she did not seem to believe me. “Just let me go.” She pulled away from me and took of walking away from the food court. I followed her without hesitation. I let her walk away from me for the last time. I was tired of her feeling like she needed to protect herself from me. I mean jeesh I fucking love her. What doesn’t she understand about that.
I allowed her to walk all the way out of the mall and sit herself on a bench that was perched beside the mall’s fountain. She placed her face into her palms and I could hear the tears coming from her. What the fuck was her problem? I was basically fucking giving my soul to her and she wants to cry about it. Am I that unlovable? Untrustworthy? What was the fucking problem? It is what people would think if they saw her and I walking down the street. White and Mexican. Rich and Poor. I laid my hand against a wall and watched her think. I wondered what was going through her mind. What was he thinking about?
Then I felt someone tap me on my shoulder. “Mike? Are you okay?” Marshall asked. I still haven’t asked him about his drug dealing. The truth was I did not know how to ask him something like that. I knew that he was only doing it to protect his family, but I didn’t like it. At all.
“I’m fine.”
“Oh my God Kimber!” The white girl Katie ran past me and over to her and sat next to her and placed an arm around her shoulder. Then they suddenly got up and walked away. I began to follow, but Marshall held me back.
“Let her go man. Let it go. She doesn’t feel the same about you.”
That shit hurt like hell. I knew that she loved me! She had to. It was no one that I could feel this way about a girl and she has no feelings for me. I mean fuck she even let me finger her and I was about to smash, but her mom came home. How can she not love me? I mean I saved her from killing herself. I am the reason that she is still alive and breathing. She owes me her entire soul! And she doesn’t love me? What kind of bull shit is that? I am not that damned naïve. Fuck no.
I looked up to Marshall and smiled. “She loves me.”
He laughed. “Okay. If you say so.”
Holland stood next to him with a smile on her face. I knew that I was meant for her. What other reason would we have seen each other at the mall? I didn’t even want to come here, but Holland forced us because she wanted Chinese food and Marshall gave in so easily when she displayed her puppy dog face. Fucking weak ass. Then Brandon followed. I wanted to go play some hoops, but here I was at the mall declaring my love and finally feeling happy for the first time since Holland and I went to Disney World and scared the living shit outta Mickey Mouse. Now that shit was just too funny. We snuck up behind him from either side and tackled him to the ground. Now thinking back to it I think that is the most fun Holland ever had. Hm. I’ll have to do something about that.
Brandon slapped me on the back. “I’m hungry as hell! Can we go fucking eat?”
“Yeah let’s go.” I took one last look at the direction Kimber walked in then we walked back into the mall. Holland and Marshall talked about everything that day from hobbies to families to past relationships. They seemed to really connect and I was happy that my little sister liked my best friends. It would make everything so much easier in life. Brandon and I talked most of the day about the upcoming basketball season and college and stuff like that, but Marshall and Holland went deeper.
Holland even told him that she was sick-even though he already knew, but wow me would have never thought that she would tell anyone that I was shocked. They even hugged when we left. Hm. They really liked each other. If Marshall didn’t have a girlfriend I would think that he was trying to hit on her. All in all it was a great day until we got home and my dad was sitting on the living room sofa with a look of pure anger on his face. I couldn’t help, but crack a smile. This was going to be fun.
Kimber’s POV-right when they left the mall
“Oh my God! Are you okay? Why are you crying?” Katie gushed as I buckled myself into her car. Her face was red as hell and her voice too squeaky. I guess this was how she was when she was worried-not good-very annoying.
“It was just too much to take all at once. I just needed some air.” She cranked up the car and we drove onto the busy street.
She looked over to me. “He seemed nice-“
I cut her off. “How did you even know him and how he looked?”
She looked down and blushed. “I remember him from the day he came to the school.”
“Right.” I remembered that as I wiped the last bit of tears away. I can’t believe that I broke down like that. How embarrassing is that. Well I really can never see Mike again. I mean he thinks that he loves me which is bad for two reasons.
1. How can he love me? How can he know that he loves me? He doesn’t know anything about me or my past or my future. I could be a serial killer for all he knows or a stalker. I could be a dude. Well I guess he’ll know that by now. I blushed as I thought about what we did. Oh my-that was just awesome! I wanted to do it again, but did that mean that I loved him. I don’t know. Love and lust is not the same thing. They do not keep the same company, but how do you know if you love someone anyway. How is anyone ever supposed to know something as complex as that. How did my dad know that he was doing what was best for us when he left? How does anyone know the answers to these questions? How can anyone declare themselves to someone they don’t know anything about. In a way though I owe him my life. He is the only reason I am alive, but I didn’t ask him to risk his life for me. He did it on his own accord. Hmmm? Ugh. Why can’t life be simple like it used to be? I was fat and picked on and my mom was an alcoholic. Now everything was so different-well I was still fat, but worked out sometimes. Now someone likes me well loves me. And now my usually drunk mother has advice to give me about my love life. Why can’t she go back to not caring and stuffing her lungs and liver with killing agents. Why did she care if he was using me? It’s not like she isn’t doing the same. Shit. Love is just too complex and malicious.
“Are you okay Kimber? You seen kind of quiet.” Kimber asked worried.
I nodded. “Yes. I just need some sleep and a shower.”
“Well I’ll take you home. Where do you live?”
I smiled. “Right across the street from the Mexican Corner Store.” She smiled then made an illegal u turn. “Thanks.” I said when we stopped in front of my house. “And I am sorry that I ruined the movie day. I was really excited about going. I haven’t to the movies is a long time. Can we take a rain check?”
She smiled. “Next Saturday.”
“Done.”
When I got inside the house I flopped down on the couch. I knew my mom wasn’t home she would have ran to the door to see who was coming in. She was overly paranoid. I wondered where she was. Probably drinking. I fell asleep thinking about Mike and his love pleas and the second reason why I do not want Mike loving me.