20: "Stop Being So F.ucking Hypocritical."
*mature content lol*
KENDALLS POV / NEXT DAY
I don't know where me and Justin stand at the moment..
I broke the somewhat s.exual relationship me and Justin had.. I did feel a connection. But I can't continue the relationship me and Justin have.
He even said himself, if I want to keep it professional, he will keep it professional.
But I know he didn't want to keep it professional.. He wants more from me... I want more from him.
It was a painful decision but it had to be done.
I just didn't want to be someone he could play with and manipulate..
He played Lacey. He acted like she was the one but she really wasn't. He lead her on, made her feel important then left her.
And the way she found out he didn't want her no more is by, him cheating on her with me.. Another woman..
Justin's past flings are catching up to him.. And I'm not going to one of them.
I'm only here to work and keep things simply professional.
I want to pursue my career of being a fashion business woman. I want to become CEO. But it takes time to get that big title..
I just can't get attached.. Its so hard not to, it's so tempting.. But I cannot..
I remember when I was about to leave his house yesterday and seen him punch the wall with anger..
I never seen him in such an agitated state. I never meant to hurt him..
I hop out of my Range Rover quickly.. I'm late for work. I grab my purse with my left hand and grab my edited paperwork with the other. I close my car door with my elbow since I have stuff in my hand.
I knew Justin would go berserk because Im not on time. He is all about being persistent.
I over slept because I was up yesterday night thinking about Justin..
I was thinking about the memories me and Justin had.. I brush off the thought, I need to focus in reality.
I enter the complex.
"Hey Lilia" I greet Lilia with a smile.
Lilia looks up from writing in her paperwork, she gives me a sincere smile. I go straight to the elevator waiting for it open.
Once it opens, I enter.
I excessively click the button '6' on the Elevator for it go to faster and close.
But it didn't do any luck. It is still going in the same speed once it closed. I become impatient by the minute.
I groan once the elevator stopped at the '2'nd floor. I didn't want the elevator to wait for more people to enter, but it has to. I press my back onto the elevator wall. I am already late so why does it matter if I rush.. I will still remain late, regardless.
Mary Kate enters the elevator. Her eyes on her phone. Her black heels clicked with every step she took. Her white colored dress fitted her perfectly..
She looks marvelous even though she despises me.
I remember the last time when me and Mary Kate were in the elevator, she threaten to hurt me if I try to make moves on Justin..
She looks up to watch her surroundings. She looks up, her blueish green eyes looks at me. Her lips curve into a sly smirk.
"Well, well, well." She said bluntly. She leans on the elevator wall. She puts her phone away so she can keep her attention on me.
I roll my eyes, I am ready for her smart comments. She can say whatever she needs to.
Because she is one of Justin's old flings.. She was also manipulated and I'll let her have her say.
She takes out lipgloss from her purse and reapplies it on her lips. She stares at me as she applies it.
She makes sure her accuracy is good even without a mirror.
She hawks me as she examines my outfit.
She presses the '4' button on the elevator.
My outfit wasn't the best today I will admit that.. I'm wearing a raggedy old skirt and a old formal top.
She puts back her lipgloss. "How's you and Justin?" She chuckles devilishly. "I remember when I seen you guys dance so romantically. I also seen that little kiss y'all had at the auction.. Awe how adorable." She laughs, she thinks it's funny when me and Justin had our first moment..?
I expect her to yell at me or even scream but this is humorous to her?
"Are you done?" I ask.
"Well I hope that dance and kiss didn't mean anything to you.. Because me and Justin slept together yesterday." She stated. She rubs her lips together to even out her lipgloss.
So when I left, he called Mary Kate to have intercourse..
When I stopped the s.exual relationship me and Justin had, he called Mary Kate to continue their s.exual relationship..
I felt jealously pings into my heart.
Why I'm I feeling this way.?
That moment me and Justin had, did mean something to me.. But did it mean anything to him? I guess not..
I kept my face emotionless, I can't show her that I felt betrayed at all.
I won't let her have her win.
She wants me to feel broken the same way she felt when she speculated Justin and I were together..
Justin moves on that fast..? How..?
Everything me and Justin somewhat had was for nothing...
I mean, I am the one that wanted to keep it professional. He wants to go back to his old ways... I can't blame him..
He got bored of me because I wouldn't give in. He got his own entertainment somewhere else.. Just like he did with Lacey...
"After having s.ex with him, my skin has been glowing and my hair is growing." She flips her shiny hair. Her smile wide. She wants me to feel jealous.
Her eyes watching my facial expressions, I kept my expressions unreadable.
"But your breath is still stinking and your tracks are still showing." I said firing back.
She rolls her eyes.
"Don't be jealous now.. I have him wrapped around my finger .. I hope you didn't think you were too special.." I look down at the floor. "Oh and Kendall, a word of advice, if someone doesnt give Justin what he wants. He'll go somewhere else to get it." She said. The elevator opened to the '4'th floor. She exited it out, before the elevator door closed completely, I seen Mary Kate wink at me..
I didn't give him s.ex which causes him to get bored and he went to go get it somewhere else..
I started to rub my temples. I cant get mad nor jealous but I am feeling both of these emotions .
He isn't mine..
And I'm not his.
So why I'm I feelings like this?
The grip on my documents tighten causing it the rip slightly.
I do feel heartbroken but I am the one who broke me and Justin's relationship. I would've got played even if I continued it.
Justin's past always takes ahold of him.
His old assistants always takes ahold of him..
The elevator door open to the '6'th floor.
I have to check in with Justin, it's mandatory.
I really didn't want to, I didn't want to see his face because I knew I'm going to say something I will regret.
I knock on the door, earning a "who is it?"
I paused, "Kendall." I said. I didn't want to face him but I have to.
"Come in." He said. I open the door.
He looks up from reading documents. He stares at me, I stare back.
"Why are you late?" He asked.
"Why did you f.uck Mary Kate?" I asked. I need an answer.
He snickers. .
"It's non of your business Kendall. It's all business. You and me are just friends, we keep it professional like you said. So whoever I f.uck is non of your concern." He spat. He leans back putting both of his legs on the table.
He looks and talks so nonchalantly about this situation.
He wants to hurt me, the way I hurt him.
And its working.
"Now go fetch me coffee Assistant," he said and throws a 20 dollar bill at me.
It lands on the floor.
I look at the money then at him.
I suck my teeth, he's so unbelievable.. He wants to treat me like trash..
He's being the as.shole Boss that I hate..
I pick it up and walk out the office. I slam the door hardly causing the plants on the table to shake in the hallway.
My blood is boiling..
If he wants to treat me like that, I'll treat him like that also..
Instead of going out my way to go to Dunkin Donuts, his favorite coffee place. I will go to the cafeteria to give him his coffee.
I use the stairs instead of the elevator to avoid seeing Mary Kate. I can't bare hearing her talk more about yesterday.
Is Mary Kate his rebound..?
My black converse squeak through the hard title floor.
I reach the cafeteria. Mumbles from the employees, trays hitting the table and change being exchanged fill the room.
I didn't want to socialize to anyone, I just wanted to get this coffee and go. But I do want to talk Alec, I want to vent to him. He helps me with my problems .
I go in line and order Justin's typical coffee.
I mumble a thank you and take the coffee. I give the money and get change back..
I walk back upstairs. I reach his office. I open the door.
"Why didn't you knock?" He asks harshly.
I roll my eyes, "You knew I would come back so why bother knocking if you were expecting me." I snap. I place the coffee on the table.
"Where did you get this coffee? From the cafeteria? I hate cafeteria coffee." He states frowning. I shrug.
"Coffee is coffee, why does it matter." I said dryly.
"S.ex is s.ex, why does it matter." He mocks. I cross my arms over my chest.
"Oh so you can go around and f.uck anybody hmm?" I ask.
"Pretty much." He said cockily. He takes a sip of the coffee then puts it down.
He pushes away the coffee. He isn't satisfied with the taste.
"Okay so I can go f.uck Nate, because s.ex is s.ex." I mock, Justin gets up from his chair.
He narrows his eyes at me. I know he doesn't like when I talk about Nate.
He wants to make me jealous, I'll make him jealous myself.
"You want to make me feel hurt Kendall?" He chuckles. "It won't work. Because you hurt me yesterday! You know I want you and you just shut me out to keep it professional, you rejected me." He said lowly.
I laugh, he can't be serious.
"Justin I didn't reject you! I just didn't want to be played. And I guess you're not used to rejection so you went to call Mary Kate to f.uck because you know she'll give in. Let's face it, you played Lacey.. How would I know if you won't play me?" I said. "If you want someone, you have to let go of your past. But you're still hanging on to the past.."
"I couldn't play you." He said, I snort. That's what they all say.
"Nate wouldn't play me, unlike you." I said.
I jump when he slams his hand on the desk.
"Stop f.ucking talking about Nate! You won't f.uck him.." He said , he's getting angrier at the thought.
"Stop being so f.ucking hypocritical!" I yell.
If I f.ucked Nate he would get mad, so why can't I get mad if he f.ucks Mary Kate?
He's being so hypocritical at the moment.
He exhales deeply..
He comes closer to me, I become nervous.
"Kendall.. You make me feel things.. I don't want to feel. But f.uck, I want to embrace it. You stir up my emotions so much." He said. "I just got angry at your rejection, I needed someone to ease my pain.. But I want you to ease my pain Kendall.." He said darkly. His hands traveling to my body. I watch his movements.
He wants to continue our relationships.
He thought me and him were going great until I stopped it. He became angry because he cared about our relationship .. But why would he go to someone else?
He's so used to getting his way.
I gasp at his sudden action.
He grips my waist pulling me closer to him. His body is pressing onto mine .
My lips parted, my body becomes to feel tingly.
I feel butterflies in my stomach.
I'm speechless, "Justin.." I trail off lowly. I stare into his honey brown eyes as he stares into my dark brown ones.
Me and Justin's relationship is so toxic..
I'm lost in words, I didn't know what to say..
He touches my cheek, then pulls me closer to his face. I felt his lips on mine.
He kisses me radically.
I was at first shock, but I soon relax. I kiss back.
His grip tightens on my body. He didn't want to let go, and I didn't want him to either..
His movements are fast, I know he wants to devour my whole body.
I felt safe in his hold. Like no one could ruin us at this moment..
But I dunno how we would continue this relationship..
My thought are interrupted by his touch, his cold hands touching my bare skin. His fingertips pressing onto my thighs.
He lifts me up guiding me to the desk. He sits me on the tempered glass table.
I feel his hands lift up my shirt.
My legs are trembling, my lips parted. My body is reacting insanely to his touch.
His effect on me, is crazy.. I try to stay away but I can't...
I try so hard not to get attached but I can't. Everytime I spend time with him, I get more attached. I can't stay away from him..
He sucks my neck.
He leaves wet trails of kisses onto my neck to my collarbone.
I grip his shoulder to help me contain the pleasure spreading all over my body.
I watch as he takes off my top.
He spreads my legs.
He starts to unbutton his pants, exposing his boxers.
He quickly gets a condom from his desk.
He pulls down his boxers showing his fully e.rected c.ock. Pre-c.um oozing out of his tip, I eye the veins on his d.ick.
I bit my lower lip, I become more nervous.. This will be my first time..
"Justin I'm a virg-"
"I know, do you want to do this?" He asks as pulls down my panties. He stares at my fully shaved p.ussy. He gulps at the view.
I did want to wait til marriage but, I did want this.
I want Justin.. I want our relationship but at the same time I don't. I'm becoming indecisive.
So many emotions are stirring up in my mind. I didn't know what I want..
"Yes." I breathe out.
He nods and pulls my body closer.
He puts the condom on his d.ick.
He presses his tip into my p.ussy, then his whole d.ick into me. I gasp, pain rushed into my lower region.
I grip hardly onto Justin's neck to help aid with the pain. I close my eyes tightly.
"Do you want me to continue?" He asks concerned. He knows I'm in pain.
I nod, "Don't stop." I command.
I will take this pain.
My body tenses up at his forceful strokes.
The table shakes with every thrust. Pencils and pens fall from the table onto the floor.
My body relaxes as the pain becomes into pleasure after the 4th stroke.
"I'm sorry, Kendall. I didn't mean to f.uck her. I was just angry." He whispers into my ear as he thrusts harder into me.
My lips parted, I didn't know what to say..
"She's not special to me, you are. She was there at the moment.." His voice low.
The office phone starts to ring but we ignored it.
He becomes to pant as he became closer to his cli.max.
"I can't get enough of you Kendall.." He said darkly..
My feelings are so flip floppy. First I don't want him then I want him. I can't make up my mind.
He moans, "Fuckkkk."
He pulls out and he cli.maxs into the condom.
We hear a knock. My head looks at the direction of the door.
I jump off the table, I quickly put my clothes back on.
Justin does the same. He throws the condom away in the trash can.
Once we are fully clothed, Justin asks.
"Who is it?"
"Lilia."
"Come in."
Lilia enters.
"Sorry to disturb you sir, but I tried to call you but you didn't answer. I want to inform you that your father is coming soon." Lilia said.
Justin's nods.
My first time having s.ex was with my boss in his office..
How convenient..
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I'm going to swallow a whole pint of holy water brb.
- chancelle