One day at a time. Until it all blew over and things got back to normal again. I repeated the same thought over and over in my head until I almost started to believe it.
When the last bell rang for the day, I jumped out of my seat with joy. Now all I had to do was go home and crawl into my bed, and this nightmare day would be over.
Just as I left my AP Language class, some girls jostled my shoulder, making my fall back into the doorway. My books and binder smacked to the ground and flew open. Various articles for the next week's newspaper edition sprinkled the floor. I cursed under my breath and knelt to pick them up, wincing as my shoulder throbbed. I turned to stare at her, but she had already faded into the hallway crowd.
"Seriously?" I muttered, stretching to reach my scattered books. My fingers had just closed around my binder when Taecyeon Ok, the unspoken leader of the pack of jerks from lunch, smacked my butt.
I jumped to my feet, but he just smirked and gave his buddies a high five. I narrowed my eyes at him.
The reason people had never gossiped about me before was because I never gave them the reason to. I never did anything wrong. Unlike Soyeon, who never cared what people said or thought of her. Secretly, I envied that. I couldn't be like that. I preened with pride when people complimented me, and my stomach turned when I got a dirty look. Appa said what people thought of my affected the outcome. Granted, he was talking about court cases and the jury, but it's all basically the same. No matter what people said, appearances did matter.
But I was sick of it. Sehun was wrong. Things didn't get better. My name was even on the bathroom stall's doors with White-out, paired with the words WHORE + SLUT. I had waited until the bathroom was empty before attacking the door and breaking three nails in the process. And I was sick of everything. But most of all, I was sick of doing nothing. Screw appearances.
"Hey, idiot!" Without thinking, I snatched my binder off the ground and threw it at Taecyeon. It hit his shoulder with a loud, satisfying smack. Score! I fist-pumped the air in celebration just as he turned around with a scowl.
Shit. Maybe I should have thought this through. I backed up a step when he walked toward me, and - whoosh! - suddenly Soyeon flew like my knight in a crop pink top and high-waisted jeans and shoved him aside with her shoulder. He stumbled backward against the lockers.
She groaned and rubbed her right shoulder. "Ow, that hurt!"
I grabbed her. "Soyeon-ah! Are you okay?"
"Yeah." She turned to Taecyeon. "But I swear you'll get a lot more than that if you bother either of us again." She waved her hand for him to come forward. "Try me."
His nostrils flared, and he lurched toward us.
With a yelp, I grabbed Soyeon's shoulders to pull her back and out of his way when a tall back blocked my view of Taecyeon. A very familiar back came out of nowhere.
When did Minho get her? I looked up at him and poked the center of his back to make sure I wasn't imagining things. He turned to look at me, and his frown deepened. His hand lightly touched my arm. "Are you okay?"
I nodded. "I'm fine."
Soyeon cleared her throat. "I'm fine, too. Thanks for asking."
"I know you are. Nothing could bother you." Minho gave her a quick smile and turned away. "You know, Ok, picking on two girls kind of makes you look like a wimp."
Cursing under his breath, Taecyeon took another step toward us just as Mr. Kim stepped out of his classroom. "What's going on here?"
The hall had been crowded during our fight, but everyone faded backward and practically evaporated as soon as a teacher showed up. Our group remained quiet. Even if we didn't say anything, the evidence was pretty obvious. My books were still scattered on the floor. My binder was even at Sehun's feet, and Soyeon was still rubbing her shoulder.
"Nothing, we just had a little accident, but everyone's fine now." Minho smoothly lied. He bent down to grab my books. "Nothing to worry about. Right, guys?"
"Right, it's nothing." Soyeon chirped with a smile.
Taecyeon's eyes flickered between each of us - lingering on for the longest time - before landing on Mr. Kim. After a long and agonizing minute, he shook his head. "Yeah, everything's good."
Mr. Kim didn't look like he believed us, but he nodded. "Then why don't you guys go home? School's over, you know. Miss Bae, can I talk to you again?"
"Uh, I guess so." I turned to Minho and Soyeon. "Do you guys want to wait for me?"
Soyeon pouted. "I have to go to theater practice. But I'll talk to you later." She gave my arm a little squeeze and turned to Minho. "Take care of her, okay?"
"Of course. I'll be here, Suzy."
With a nod, I let out a low, deep breath and followed Mr. Kim into his classroom. He sat down behind his desk, picked up a pen, and tapped it against the side of his desk. I shifted my weight side to side as I waited for him to speak.
"First the last report and now this accident."
I bowed my head little. "I know. I'm sorry, it won't happen again."
"I hope not. But you're clearly too distracted these days. I think you should take a break from preparing the Career Day presentation. Drop off your materials tomorrow, and I'll have Seolhyun take over."
And just like that, my dream of wowing Korea Uni. Law School alumni - along with my chances of actually going to Korea Uni. Law School - faded away. "But - but you can't. I've been working on this for ages! You can't just give it to Seolhyun. She'll mess it up."
He dropped his pen with a clatter and entwined his hands under his chin. "I'm just helping you out, Suzy. I know senior year is tough and you have a lot on your plate, but that's life. Everyone has things to do. Obligations to fulfill. Families to feed. Bills to pay. This isn't easy for me, either."
His words made me feel like an idiot. And I hated that feeling. But he couldn't just take it away my speech and give it to Seolhyun Kim. That girl had it out for me since we were in grade school. It wasn't my fault I colored inside the lines quicker than her. Or that she was always in second place. Now, third, since Minho had moved to town and kicked us both down a spot. But you didn't see me being bitter about it all the time. Much.
Fidgeting my hands together, I tried to look remorseful. "I'm sorry about your obligations and your bills, but I can handle it! I swear!"
"Then you'll have nothing to worry about. This isn't a punishment. Maybe later you and Seolhyun can even work together on it. Help each other out." He leaned back in his chair and nodded toward the door. "That's it. You can leave now."
Yeah, right, she'd help me. More like help herself to all the credit and my hard work.
I wanted to argue with him, but to my horror, his face got blurry. Aish. Not now. Don't cry. Maybe when I was safe at home in my soft sweater that fell past my knees, but I couldn't cry here. Not in front of everyone.
I don't know how or when I left the class, but next thing I knew, Minho was standing in front of me, shielding me from other people still in the halls. Without saying anything, he wrapped an arm around me and led me to the library's empty media room. I wanted to lean against him - man, I was so tired - but I kept my back stiff instead, determined not to show weakness. He shut the door and stood in front of it with crossed arms. I didn't know if it was to prevent me form leaving or anyone else from coming in.
I leaned against one of the bookcases and scratched at the fading polish on my nails. There was barely an trace left from the time Eomma pulled me out from school for a mother-daughter manicure date. I was annoyed afterward, because I'd missed the review session in calculus and ended up getting a B on the test. Especially since that was the first class that Minho had barely squeaked by an A+ and could have finally beaten him for once.
Ironic, since I would kill to get out of school now. Bring on the pedicures. I'd even perm my hair like a poodle to get out of here.
I let out a deep breath and rolled my tired shoulders before straightening up. "So thanks for, you know, before," I finally said to Minho and reached for the stuff in his arms.
"No problem." He released my binder and the papers before shrugging. "Sorry if I'm being nosy and overstepping my boundaries, but what the hell are you doing, Suzy?"
I looked down at the folder of the articles in my hands. "I'm going to organize some ideas I had for the next issue of More Voices. We should focus on the background people this time. Stage crew for plays, water boys in games. That sort of stuff."
"That's good idea, but that's not what I'm talking about." He shoved his hands into his pockets. "I mean about all this Sehun stuff."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"You're a horrible liar, Suzy."
Of course I knew what he's talking about. That's what everybody was talking about. If only Minho would be instinctive enough to get the hint that I didn't want to talk about it. For a smart guy, he could really be stupid sometimes.
We'd only been friends for a little over a year, but it felt like a lifetime. Surprising, since I'd despised him from the start. Minho transferred to our school early last year. And within once semester, I was shoved down from number one in the class - a spot that I had all to myself for the past two years - to number two. And the most infuriating thing was that he didn't wake up early to put any effort into being number one. He didn't wake early to study in the library or come to school with dark shadows under his eyes from cramming all night like I did.
It was pretty annoying that he was so likable to everyone. He did great in school and was average in sports. Good enough to have people invite him to games, but not good enough to be a star and have everyone hate him for being perfect.
Even though I hated him for stealing my spot, I liked him. He understood and put up with me. And he was perfect for me. I always figured that we'd get together someday. It was just made sense that we would. Preferably after we were settled in college an don our career paths.
Minho wasn't in-your-face handsome like, well, Sehun (my ultimate bias <3), but he was handsome in his own way - tall with broad shoulders and hair that dishevel that contrasted with his crisp, well-fitting clothes. He liked the style of dark jeans and button-down shirts rather than T-shirts and khaki cargo pants.
From the neck down, he looked like a model. From neck up, he looked like he rolled out of bed. Yet, he made it work. I loved a well-dressed guy in a tie. Add in a vest, and I was putty on his shiny shoes. Soyeon always made fun of the fact that while others girls fantasized about soccer players and policemen, I'd swoon over a businessman in a suit. What can I say? I had a mature taste. He also had dark, soulful eyes that made my knees weak, although his were black rather than dark brown like Sehun's.
I squeezed my eyes closed, determined to shake the images away. Why couldn't I get Sehun out of my head? He wasn't my type. T-shirts and jeans were his uniform.
Although . . . I bet Sehun would look smoking hot in a pair of dark jeans. Maybe paired a dark-gray button-down shirt with rolled-up sleeves that suits well with his eyes and - thwack! I smacked my forehead with the palm of my hand. Why am I dressing up Sehun in my mind like he was my own personal man doll? Most girls would be doing the opposite.
A hand snapped in front of my face, breaking my train of thought. Minho stared at me with a worried expression. I didn't blame him. I didn't know what was up with me today.
I slumped down on top of a table in the aisle, which usually held a projector. "You of all people should know not to believe rumors."
Both his brows rose. "Yeah, everyone was really disappointed when I told them I didn't know karate when I first transferred here. And that I wasn't related to Jackie Chan. Although I see some resemblance." Something flashed across his face as he turned his head away. He was suddenly distant and a little cold. "So it really just a rumor? You and Sehun didn't . . ."
"No, we didn't."
He let out a sigh of relief. A quick smile appeared on his face. He coughed in his hand before shoving it in his back pocket. "I didn't think so. I mean, he's not even your type or anything. And you're way smarter than that. I was just worried . . ." Minho shook his head and laughed. "Never mind. So what are you going to do with all the rumors, then?"
I kicked at the metal legs of the desk in front of me. "I figured I'd just lie low and stay quiet until they died down."
Minho snorted. "You? Stay quiet?" He crossed the room to sit beside me on the desk. His arm pressed against mine. "Come on, Suzy. You're the girl who refused to admit defeat during class elections last year. Even after you won, you insisted on another election with everyone's attendance so no one would excuse you of cheating. Even though nobody did."
My mouth raised into a half smile. "Yeah. No one was happy about staying after school to vote, either."
Minho laughed and knocked his shoulder against mine. "No, we weren't."
We sat there in silence for a few minutes, both lost in our own thoughts. Finally, he straightened and stood in front of me, arms crossed as though he were a lecturing parent. "Look, I am just going to say it as it is. Staying quiet is a stupid idea. This isn't like you! You need to fight back." He bent forward until he was at eye level with me. "Seriously, show everyone out there who you are and that you deserve everything you've worked so hard for. Don't let this stupid rumor ruin things for you."
Minho was standing so close that I could see all the details on his face. The perfectly straight line of his nose, the crinkles around his eyes. He even had a small wrinkle over his right brow.
His words scared me, but I tried to laugh it off. "Aren't you overreacting a bit? I mean, it's just a tiny rumor, Minho."
He rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Oh yeah? Look at what it did already. I mean, come on, Suzy. Why do you think everyone's messing with you out there? They're using this 'tiny rumor' to pull you off the pedestal so they can stomp on you."
The images he painted were so vivid that I had to shake my head to get rid of them. Especially after my talk with Mr. Kim. It really did felt like everything was slipping out of my hand. "So what do you think I should do?"
"Prove that they're wrong. Beat someone up. I don't know. Something."
HIs words hit me like a truck. He was right. I was tired of getting picked on. I needed to do something. My future, my life, depended on it.
But the question was, what could I do?
__Toward the Walk of Shame__
"So what do you think?" I asked Soyeon on the phone later that night. I balanced the phone between my ear and shoulder as I carefully slipped my report into my bag. There was no way in hell I was going to forget that again. "Short of having Sehun whacked. I don't know what could make everyone forget about this."
"Why would you want people to forget? This is the most exciting thing to happen to you all year. Actually, your whole life."
"But I don't want my life to be this exciting. Tell me what to do."
"Well, for one, I think you should've slept with him."
I almost dropped the phone. "Can you please be serious."
"What? I just think it's a waste that you're going through all this suffering and you didn't even get any. Not even once. I mean, come on!" There was the sound of a door slamming, and i knew Soyeon had to shut the door to get some privacy. Ironically, the door always got stuck, so when it slammed, her mom knew she was up to no good. She probably just had about a minute of talking time left before her mom popped in to "check" on her. "Seriously, if you're not going to sleep with him, then at least date him or something. People wouldn't care so much if the two of you were dating anyway."
"You're impossible." I rolled my eyes at my reflection in the mirror across the room.
"Impossibly lovable. Hey, I got to go. I think I hear my mom down the hall. Just think about it. The innocent debutante always reforms the rake in the end, you know."
Even though she was crazy, Soyeon's words kept racing through my mind. What if . . . ?
Later that night, when everyone was asleep, I headed downstairs toward Appa's office. I don't know if it was the furniture or the dusty shelves full of law books, but this was the only place I could think clearly. This was his domain that he had decorated himself. And by decorated, I mean, he drove to the furniture store, pointed to a couple of pieces, and told them where to ship it within five minutes, tops.
The rest of the house - besides my room - was decked out in bright, cheery colors and ruffles. Since Appa didn't care, I was outnumbered when it came to what color the curtains should be. Lucy was still at the age where she loved pink and sequins. I'd hoped that she outgrow the girly stuff in two years when she turned eleven. I did. Of course, I outgrew a lot of things that year.
Even though I hadn't made any noise when I crept in, it was like Damon, our dog, sensed there was someone awake who could feed him. Despite the fact that he got fed three times a day, he was always hungry. Always.
I closed the study door just as his paws came scampering down the hall. His dark nose instantly poked under the door, and he whined. The high-pitched yips sounded like he was being tortured.
Afraid that Eomma or Appa would wake up, I opened the door. Damon was sprawled out on the carpet, nose down-turned as though he were still trying to get beneath before slowly flopping on his back. His eyes stared at me, willing me to bend down and scratch his belly.
I snorted with laughter and rubbed his stomach for a few seconds before getting to my feet. "Come on, you can keep me company while I work."
Before I got started, I moved around the office and rearranged a few things. Lining up the books on the shelves so they all faced out. Adjusting the shades so the perfect amount of moonlight would stream through the windows. The usual stuff that would otherwise distract me.
I worked through the night. Sunlight was starting to peek through the windows when I finished printing out the final copy of the contract. I stretched my arms over my head and yawned. Finally, it was done. Now was the hard part - getting Sehun to cooperate. And for that, I needed his number.
I immediately called Soyeon. That girl knew anything and everything that went on in that school. Too bad she was also too nosy for her own good. "Have you changed your mind about sleeping with him?"
My cheeks flushed, and I thankful that no one could see me. I tapped my pen against the table so hard that the top flew off and rolled somewhere beneath the desk. "Soyeon, this really isn't the time." I dropped to the floor to search for the top. "Just get me his number, okay?"
"Already ahead of you. I messaged this girl who has it and already texted to you. SO are you going to let me in on plan or what?"
"Let me figure it out first and I'll let you know." I crossed my fingers. If things went according to plan, everything should be better tomorrow morning.
"I guess that's good enough for now. Call me if you need any more hotties' numbers."
Eomma and Appa had already taken Lucy to school, so the house was pretty quiet when I crept out of the office. Damon woke when I was nearly down the hall. He let out a sharp bark and chased after me, nipping at my ankles with every step I took. I dug a can of dog food out of the cabinet, scooped a large helping into his bowl, and refilled is water. For myself, I got a glass of orange juice and made cereal on the counter.
Once the spoiled rat Damon was fed and I had nothing left in my bowl. I knew I couldn't pull off the call anymore. I closed my eyes and counted, then pressed in the numbers before I lost my nerve. The phone rang twice before Sehun picked up.
"Hello?"
My fingers traced the diameter of the glass. "Hi, Sehun? This is, um, Suzy." Silence. "Suzy Bae? You know, the girl who, hm, we - uh, we -"
A chuckle stopped my stuttering.
I realized I was gripping the glass with both hands and forced myself to let go. Just breathe, Suzy. It's just a phone call. I rubbed my hands on my jeans to dry them. "Listen, I think we need to talk about the other night."
"What happened to 'Don't talk about what happened to anyone'?"
Gosh, I could practically hear the smirk in his voice. "I'm not just anyone," I said lamely, unable to think of a better comeback.
"That's for sure."
Was that a compliment or an insult? I shook my head even though he couldn't see me. "Let's start over. I need to talk to you. Now. Can you come to my house?"
"You're not at school?" The surprise was obvious in his voice.
"No, I had a free period this morning." I shook my head, forgetting that Sehun didn't take extra classes throughout the year like I did. He probably didn't have and free periods. "I guess I could meet you after school somewhere."
"That's all right. I'm not at school, either."
"Really? Why not?"
There was some rushing as if he was moving the phone around. "Let's just say you have your secrets and I have mine. I'll meet you at your house."
"Okay. Do you have a pen? I can give you my address."
"Don't worry about it. If I'm lucky and it's fate. I'll just find your house somehow."
I let out a sigh because he wasn't taking me seriously. Maybe it would be easier to just hire a hit man. I was sure Appa would be happy to defend me in court. If I was caught, that is. I'd learned a thing or two from watching crime movies. "What do you -"
Sehun snorted. "Keep your panties on, I was just joking. I know where you leave, and I'm on my way now." I turned away from the phone to curse, but he must have heard me, because I ended up hearing his booming laughter made me permanently deaf. "Sorry, I forgot that no underwear talk was allowed. I won't do it again."
Damon nudged my leg for more food, and I sank down beside him on the tiles. My fingers played with his floppy ears as I stared at the fridge. "Uh-huh. So I'll see in a half an hour?"
"Make it twenty minutes. And don't worry, I'll be sure to jump the fence so no one will see me." He laughed again and hung up without saying bye.
Sehun was only five minutes later than he said he would be. And he did show up at my back door - although I'm not sure how he managed to jump my five-foot steel fence - with two large branches on either side of his head. Even his cheeks were streaked brown and back with mud and dirt for camouflage.
Despite my mood, I couldn't help but give him a smile. "I hope those branches didn't come from my yard."
"Of course not. Who do you think I am?" He smiled as he tossed the branches aside. His teeth seemed even whiter than usual against the mud. "I took them from your neighbor's yard."
"That's a relief."
As soon as I let him in, loud, fierce barking filled the room. Sehun looked around, but Damon was nowhere in sight. I smothered my snicker with a cough. He may have sounded like he was going to rip Sehun limb to limb, but I knew he was probably cowering somewhere safe and out of reach. He was always like this whenever a stranger came into the house. The perfect definition of all bark and no bite.
I didn't tell Sehun that, though. Instead, I wet a couple of napkins and handed them to him. "Here."
"Thanks." His eyes kept flickering around the room as Damon's barking turned into a low, demon-like growl. Wow, I really loved that dog sometimes. "Okay, either your dog is really small and that's why I can't find him, or he's a ghost dog and I'm going crazy. Which is it?"
"What dog?" I asked with wide eyes. At his freaked-out expression, I couldn't keep the laughter in for long. "He's probably squeezed between the edge of the chair and the corner over there."
Sehun dropped on all fours and ducked underneath the kitchen table. Immediately the room got quiet. "Oh, there he is."
I leaned against the counter and waited for him to get up so I wouldn't have to talk to his butt the whole time. It took a few minutes, but I didn't mind.
He muttered something to Damon. I didn't know what he was saying, but it wouldn't have made a difference. Damon never went to strangers unless he's been around them for a few hours or they had sausages or bacon in their hands.
Of course, considering the disappointment of the past couple of days, it should have been obvious that the dog I'd had for over two years wouldn't do what was expected of him. It wasn't long before Sehun was able to pull him out and settle him happily on his lap. I thought Sehun only had a way with girls. I guess he had a way with dogs, too.
"So you wanted to talk?"
I crossed my arms, trying to look anywhere but at the handsome guy in front of me and my traitorous dog. The butterflies in my stomach multiplied. My mouth opened and closed, but nothing came out. Not because I didn't have anything to say, but because I was distracted. Again.
It really wasn't fair. Sehun was a surfer, so he had the body. But did he really have to have the soulful I-understand-and-feel-you-pain eyes, too? I've always been a sucker for dark brown eyes.
All my earlier confidence faded. I turned my head away to lessen the power of his eyes. "Okay, so I thought about what you said after lunch, and I think you were wrong. About the rumor and everything. Because even if everyone forgets, it doesn't matter. The damage would have already been done. Memories can never be totally forgotten. So the only solution is to alter their memories into something you don't want to be forgotten. You know what I'm talking about?'
At the blank look on his face, it was obvious that he was clueless. "Do you?"
To be honest, I wasn't really sure. "What I mean is that I think we should just roll with it."
"Meaning?"
I let out a deep breath. It was now or nothing. "Meaning I think we should start dating. What do you think?"
__
Finished with today's update! I hope you guys liked it.
What do you guys think is going to happen next? Will Sehun go on with the plan?