It still ceases to amaze me how my entire high school life is ending today.
No more irritable teachers that slammed work on our desks; at least not for a couple months. No more petty bullshit from the head cheerleader because she can't stand to have someone competing against her. No more juvenile boys and trying to force them to understand how to treat a woman.
No more Dad hovering over our shoulders and watching our every move like a hawk.
We were finally going to be free from our father's constant watch and say over our lives; Hailey and I would finally have lives of our own.
Sitting on my bed in front of the mirror, my mind flickered to my twin and what she was doing. Was she putting makeup on and doing her hair? Preparing herself to put on our hideous gowns? Making out with Mason on his bed until they got an alert the graduation ceremony was in less than three hours?
"You contemplating life and all the decisions you made?" Johnny questioned from the doorway, a crooked smile playing on his lips. I could hear Justin and my father fighting in the foyer and was tempted to drag Johnny into the room and slam the door shut behind him to shut them up.
"You standing in the doorway and watching me like a creep?" I shot back, smiling. A genuine smile finally lit up his face as he walked in, dropping his arms to his sides.
"You know it." he winked.
Once he had sat beside me, I stared down at my hands, "I think we should wait."
"Wait? For what?" He looked so confused it was adorable.
"A real relationship, Johnny."
"Is it because Justin-"
"It has nothing to do with Justin, not really." I took his hand and laced my fingers through his, "It has to do with me not being ready to commit to another relationship. I think we should experience life a little more and if we still feel the same way in college, then we can date officially."
I expected him to explode, throw a fit as a response to my words. But he didn't. He stayed quiet for a while, his eyes searching mine.
"Okay." he nodded, "If you aren't ready for anything, I get it. I agree that we should see if the feelings stay when we go into UCLA with open arms."
"Thank you for understanding." I hugged him, resting my cheek against his chest. I could hear the quickening of his heartbeat at the closeness.
"'Course. It's what I'm here for. To support you."
*
"You nervous?" a familiar voice broke through my happy train of thought, draining it completely. I spun on my heel to face Justin, my heart sinking in my chest when I saw how devastated he looked.
His bloodshot eyes looked as if they had sunken into his head, his lips were chapped to a point where blood had started to break through the skin. His entire body was slouched, eyes on the Letterman draped over my shoulders. "Johnny's?"
"Mason's actually." I whispered, "No, I'm not nervous. I'm happy to finally be free from this place."
"Hannah-" he began, outstretching his hand.
"No, Justin. I'm not listening to your poor me bullshit and all your excuses. I love you, after almost seven years of knowing you, how can I not? But this is done, any sort of romantic relationship. If you want me in your life, then it's going to have to be as a friend."
I watched the hope in his eyes dissipate entirely.
"I love you too." he sighed, "I'm a dumbass."
"I agree." I smiled weakly, "The biggest dumbass there is."
As I opened my mouth to continue, I felt a hand on my shoulder
"Is this guys bothering you?" Johnny's tone was joking, but his expression and eyes were the furthest thing from it.
"No. We were just talking about graduation jitters." I lied, shrugging his hand off. Justin and Johnny held each other's gazes for so long I was sure neither of them blinked.
"We should probably head back in before your father blows a gasket. Or Mason makes a fool of himself. Whichever comes first." he wrapped his arm around me with a dark look. Once we were out of Justin's hearing range, he glanced down at me.
"If he's screwing with you, I can tell him to fuc-"
"Johnny, I gave him the choice. If he wants me in his life, then he's going to have to get over his feelings and accept we'll only ever be friends. If not, then I don't know, but you don't have to go kick his ass. Again." he sucked in a deep, shaky breath.
"I don't want him in your life."
"It's my life, Johnny." I squeezed his hand as I began to pull away, "Let me live it how I want.to"
*
As I sat in between Hailey and Johnny, I couldn't help but let my eyes fall on my best friend. She looked worse than she had the night of Hailey's show. I had tried calling a few times, but there wasn't a lot I could say if she did decided to pick up the phone. It saddened me to finally understand that Sophia and I had drifted apart some time in the last year.
She was no longer my other half, the person I poured my heart and soul out to. She wasn't my lifeline, the person I relied on for makeup and relationship advice when Hailey wasn't anywhere nearby. We could hardly hold a conversation any more without the air growing cold and tense.
I still loved her, sure, but there wouldn't ever be the same sort of bond between us again. My full attention had returned to my twin, my best friend since the womb. Maybe sometime in the near future I would find another best friend, but for now my sister was the best one anyone could have.
Mason sensed some of my discomfort because he leaned in and laughed, "Can't believe this is happening."
I returned his nervous smile and took his hand somewhere under our mess of gowns.
"We're doing it together. Remember our promise when we were like six?" I laughed, watching his eyes flash at the recollection.
"We promised we'd graduate and go to the same college. The Three Amigos."
"More like the Three Stooges." Johnny joked behind behind us, "Plus there's four of us now, so we better find a name for this awesome square."
"You, my friend, are an idiot." Mason responded, slapping a hand on his best friend's shoulder.
"At least I grew a pair and-"
"You want to go there? Do you know how many times I had to hear this guy go on about how hard he got at the thought of you, Hannah? After that night, I couldn't get him to shut his ridiculously loud mouth." Mason went on, flipping Johnny off.
"She had a boyfriend, dude. You had ten years to tell Hails about your feelings, no other guy, nothing. She was all yours and you couldn't grow a pair and admit it." Johnny replied, sitting up and leaning against the back of my chair.
"Can you two both shut your mouth before I cut off your pair?" Hailey hissed through her teeth, throwing a dark look at the three of us, "I can't believe I like being seen with you morons."
"Gee, thanks, sis. Way to make me feel loved." I muttered, crossing my arms.
"Yeah, Jacobs, real mature." Johnny added.
"Babe, you shot me down right where it hurts." Mason finished, slipping his hand so it was resting on his chest over his heart.
I watched my sister shake her head again, a smile threatening to return to her face.
"Morons." She sighed, leaning back in her chair, "I am surrounded by morons."
The ceremony started soon after my sister came to her epiphany. Mason was the first of us up, waving his diploma in the air and shouting to everyone that they were wrong and he had done it. Johnny soon followed, getting shouts and hoots from most of the crowd as they watched their star basketball player take the diploma. I only shook my head in amusement when he pumped his fist in the air and shouted to the audience as his best friend had moments ago.
When it came time for Hailey and I to go up, we went together. Standing up, I took her hand and gripped it, feeling hers starting to shake.
"This is it. This is real." She whispered, eyes wide. I nodded, breathing out shakily as we made our way across the stage.
***AN***
Again, sorry for a not-so-great chapter! Brianna's will be better, but she won't allow me to promise that, so you'll just have to take my word for it
Let us know what you thought!
~ChasingMadness24 & BriannaVore