It's been a long night.
A very fun, long night.
We have a few more hours left and I'm so tired actually.
Corey was... spun. He went to sit in one of the spinny rides and then fell asleep. So what did we do? We turned the ride on and it was the funniest shit ever. He woke up in the middle of a spin, and it was hilarious.
Then we went to the water-slide area that we were at the first hour and did some board riding. Sam lost the board and Colby offered to go find it because we thought it was in the gross, green, bacteria infested waters. I was sure that Colby would've gotten chlamydia on his feet or something.
I'm training to become a doctor, you can't get chlamydia on your feet so never mind.
BUT AN INFECTION YES.
Okay, but the funniest part was when Elton found the board already and still let Colby look in the water for nothing.
Sam apparently got really hurt though. We were all debating to leave but we decided, nah, he'll live and he insisted too to keep going and complete the challenge. I mean, we're so close.
It's about three-thirty in the morning, and we are not giving up now. As the group kinda split, I stayed behind with Sam since he felt his arm was pretty injured. We were walking very far from the group in a slow manner.
"So... how's your arm?" I smile sweetly.
He looks at me and rolls his eyes, "Wow, someone cares about what I feel now, finally, huh?"
I frown, hurt, "Sammy, what is that supposed to mean?"
"Oh, you know... not telling Ellie or me that you and Colby like each other or even thought to think of what I thought of you," He replies, sternly. His air felt so toxic, and unwelcoming. It made me uncomfortable.
"You... thought... of, about me? How would you think of me?" I ask, surprised.
"Ashlyn, wasn't it obvious that I liked you?" He states, now standing still in the middle of the park.
My eyes widen, he liked me? Oh god. I was right, Colby and I's relationship does affect everyone. I can't have Sam like me too, would that tear Sam and Colby?
What the fuck.
Then again, how did I not see this coming!
Life and it's friends, anger, depression, drama, sadness, fear, and cruelty love to hang out and throw obstacles in my face as I'm running towards the finish line.
Life, I thought we were buddies. C'mon.
I guess it really did mean something to him when we kissed those times. Those adventurous times. That was a few weeks ago. Am I so shallow that I don't realize the people that I affect have feelings too? I'm no Ellie, but she's just being the normal Cali girl you'd find.
People get drunk.
People want to be pretty.
People have sex.
People fall in love.
People make mistakes.
People are human.
And so am I.
I can't hate on Ellie. She's my best friend. I can't blame her for her choices. She doesn't know the whole truth and that is
all.
my.
fault.
She wouldn't make me jealous if she knew that I liked Colby.
She wouldn't date him if she knew I liked Colby.
She wouldn't want to have sex with him if she knew I liked Colby.
She wouldn't.
That's why I can't do anything about it when it comes to Colby.
With Sam though, oh fuck.
I want to like him like I like Colby.
Trust me, I really do. I want to be Sam's girl. I don't know, maybe even Mrs. Golbach.
But my heart doesn't feel the same way.
That's why I have to say I am sorry. I don't feel the same way with Sam.
"Sam..." I say with sympathy, "-I, I didn't know. I didn't realize it. I'm so sorry."
"Are you? You basically have Colby wrapped around your finger, he still is with Ellie for you because you want Ellie to be happier than Colby," He spits, "-And how are you so blind that you thought I didn't like you! Ashlyn, we kissed! We hung out and hugged and you met my friends. You think I didn't like like you after you threw me a party?-"
I cut him off, "Because we're friends, Sam! Friends, I thought we were best friends! We did things friends would do. Friends can throw other friends, parties. Friends can hug and meet their other friends."
"Kissing? What about kissing? Do friends kiss, Ashlyn?" He questions with a look that burns my pupils. It was fiery and threatening. I felt terrible, I wanted to cry. Sam means a lot to me, he is not the type of guy you'd feel threatened or scared by. However, here I am, feeling all those kinds of emotions.
Thanks to life and it's friends.
"Sam... I didn't think it was anything, I'm truly sorry!" I sniffle.
"'Didn't think it was anything' how, Ash? How can you not think of a kiss with someone as something more?" He interrogates.
A tear escapes my eye as I blink in disbelief, "I don't know, I am just messed up that way!"
"Yeah you are! You like my best friend, Colby! Colby Brock is my best friend. How do you think I feel? Let alone, how do you think Ellie feels?"
"Sam, I value you too much to fight with you," I sniff, another tear rolling down my cheek.
He crosses his arms and leans into my face, "Really? Did you think about that when you were kissing Colby?"
"You mean so much to me, you were someone I could go to to have fun. Those kisses were like, in the moment actions. Ya know?"
"Ashlyn, I understand that but I'm just shocked that you didn't feel a connection with me at all..." He sighs.
I felt like utter gum under a shoe. Neglected and stomped on with every step. In my case, with every word. I couldn't hold it. I started to cry out of my own anger and frustration.
"I'm s-sorry!" I sob.
"Hey, stop crying. I don't want you to feel this way," Sam stammers, touching my arms in a comforting gesture.
That's the Sam I know.
"S-sam! I feel terrible !" I wheeze through the tears.
"Don't be, I'm terrible, that was harsh and rude and too much to tell you, especially in one day," He eases nicely but then he says "-but it was needed to be said," In a half stern tone.
I cover my smeared face with my hands. I didn't want to talk to him anymore. I felt like a baby with the way he was treating me.
Suddenly, I hear footsteps quickly approaching Sam and I.
"Ashlyn, are you okay?"
It was Ellie.
"You talk to her, I'm done," Sam blatantly puts, walking to the group far up ahead.
Ellie glares at Sam and peers down at me, wrapping her arms around my body. She pulls me into a hug and I try to stifle my cries so they don't mess up her hair as I bury my face into the crook of her neck.
Ellie rubs my arms as if I was hurt like a worried mother with her child who just got hit by a bus, "What did he do. Did he hurt you? Did you guys secretly date and break up? Do I have to punch him in the balls, with a chair, that's on fire, off a cliff, into shark infested waters?"
"N-no, no and I'd like to see that happen but no, don't," I slightly chuckle.
She smiles but it soon fades into a concerned expression. "Girl, what happened?"
"Bad. Something bad happened, El," I murmur into her hair.
"C'mon, let's go talk."
/////
Ellie and I sit in the arcade, on the floor, leaning against the crane machine right across from the pixie-stix dispensers. We are having a lot, more than Colby from earlier.
"So, what's the deal with angry Sam and crying Ashlyn?" Ellie asks, shoving some blue pixie-stix dust into her mouth.
"He said he liked me," I mumble, fidgeting with the pixie-stix container full of cherry flavored dust.
She almost spit all her blueberry pixie-stix dust at me. I giggle at her silliness.
"He what!" She exclaims.
"Mhm," I say awkwardly, twirling my finger around the lid of the container.
"And what did you say?" She interrogates.
"I said I didn't feel the same way," I bluntly put.
Ellie looks at me with a confused scrunch, "You don't like him back?"
"No, I see him more as a really good friend..." I reply.
"Did you tell him that?"
"Yep, and he didn't take it too well..." I trail, adjusting my shirt collar.
"Damn..." She leans back, "So, what do you plan to do now?"
"I don't know," I sigh, running a hand through my hair. "Guess he can be pissed at me or whatever, it was just so bad."
"You guys better make up soon, it's so unlike Sam to act like this..."
I nod, "I know right! I was literally thinking that as I was sobbing my little eyes out into my hands as he yelled at me."
"What a dick move," She comments. "You didn't call him out on it?"
"No, why would I do that!" I exclaim.
She looks at me like I was dumb, "So he feels even WORST. Psychology class, girl."
"Whatever, I could barely say anything since I was too busy crying like a pussy," I reply lowly in embarrassment. I hate being scared to speak up.
"Aw girl, why'd you cry so much anyway?"
"He said some stuff and I said some stuff. Lets just say it got rough. Real fast. He was telling me I was blind and I guess selfish for not thinking about him in the way he thought of me..."
"Wow, that's just abhorrent." She states, "I'm gunna beat him up now." She stands up but I roll my eyes and yank her to sit back down with me.
"Ow," She whines, hitting her butt roughly on the ground.
"Calm your tits," I reply, "I think I'd rather not chase you out. I just wanna chill. We got like two more hours."
"Kay, it's cool. We can still hang a bit here," El shrugs.
I lean my head on her shoulder, thinking about one week from now. Everything can all come crashing down from the trust we had built. I can't picture a world without Elizabeth Parker.
She's my rock.
"Hey, promise me whatever happens in Cali, we'll still be best friends?" I whisper.
She looks at me funny, "Do I even need to promise that when it will always be true?"
"I love you, El."
"Love you more, Ash," She grins, putting an arm around me.
"Do you think a boy could ever come between us..." I murmur.
"Never," She states immediately. "No boy could come between a friendship this strong!"
"Right. That's why you're my soulmate!"I giggle.
"Exactly, not even Colby can come between us!" She exclaims with a big smile, pumping a fist straight in the air.
I freeze but try not to hesitate. I attempt a smile, "Right. Not even... Colby."
That's wrong.
Colby is going to come between us.
One week from now, I'm risking something that means the world to me. Liking Colby has brought so much unnecessary drama, I just want it to end. I want to stop feeling like shit every time I kiss him. I want to stop the pain every time he's with Ellie. Even if I love the kisses at the same time, my brain is telling me that it's not the right thing because he already has another girlfriend.
Cheating. He's cheating. He's cheating love.
It's wrong! I don't deserve such a toxic life and neither does Ellie.
Or him.
Being with someone who does the wrong things but with right intentions still doesn't mean it's right.
That's why I need to end it with him.
For Ellie.
Now that, is the right thing to do.
She deserves him, not me.
I need a Sam.
But this is why,
I hate liking my rival.
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ah shit, my b my dudes. ya'll must hate me even more;) BUT LOVE YOU GUYS FOR 13K+ READS AH.
However, I'm hearing so much hate on Ellie lmao, this was like a chapter dedicated to her because she ain't all that baddd lmao. Honestly, Ashlyn is me. I would do this for my best friend, and coming from personal experience, I wrote this chapter based on a talk I had with my ex-best friend. She liked a boy, I liked the same boy, and when I told her, she got all mad and upset and I told her a boy could never come between us. She agreed. Much later, she back stabbed me, because we liked the same boy. That tore us apart because she let it, people who are toxic are not who you want in your life and that's what will make you happier. Because guess what, that boy we both liked IS MY BOYFRIEND SO SHE CAN FUCK OFF BECAUSE GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOLPE WOOOOOOO. okay imma calm now, sorry lost my chill ahahhaha hope ya like my little lesson kids. Don't back-stab, be good, make yourself happier, lose the people who cause you pain, don't let another person tear your friendship apart.
COMMENT, *VOTE* & SHARE!! FEEDBACK IS ALWAYS APPRECIATED DONT BE SHY<3
comment "friends are forever unless it's colby" if you read up to here LMAO (im jk but still)
hugs, kt