Requested by the lovely: xxnetflixandchillx
A/n- thank you once again for such a beautiful request. I love bringing your imaginations to life. You all are so creative.
Trigger warning: suicide attempt
I could have done something. My best friend since the first grade would still be alive. Her fiery personality and gorgeous red hair, would continue to thrive in Riverdale, if only I was there enough.
Cheryl was great at hiding her emotions, however, when it came to Jason; She completely shut me out. The sleepovers, dinners at her place, and milkshakes at Pops ended- which completely distanced me from her. Archie, Betty, Veronica, and Jughead were there for me and Cheryl , but after some time; there was no point. You can only help a person so much when they don't want any form of support.
*flashback : three days ago*
"Well look at you, you beautiful ray of sunshine!" Veronica laughed, her eyes crinkling at the corners when she smiled towards you.
Archie and the rest of the gang asked for you to meet them at Sweetwater River, claiming that they missed your usual happy self.
"You are glowing!" Betty commented from her seated position.
"I mean, it is freezing cold so..." you answer with sarcasm.
"Ah there she is!" Jughead chuckled.
"As you know, I will be singing a song later for the town. I want you to hear it, you mean a lot to us Y/n."
"-and I brought cookies." Betty smiled.
"Thanks guys." You gush, feeling so special.
Archie had finished his song that was dedicated to you and the rest of his friends. You had a bit of tears threatening to spill, until you saw Veronica; a look of confusion on her face.
"V, what is it?"
Veronica avoided Betty's eyes and looked into yours.
"Cheryl." She breathed. You reacted quickly, by snatching her phone.
Cheryl
Thank you & the rest of the gang for trying to help me. Tell y/n i love her.
"What the hell does this mean?!" You cry, rushing to your feet.
Jughead picked up the phone and his reaction to the message did not sit well in his stomach.
"A goodbye. Where would she go to escape all the pain?" Jughead asked frantically.
"Here."
"With Jason." Tears began to flow down your face and ran towards the river, exiting the forest.
"Cheryl!!" You yelled. Soon all you heard was her name being yelled, which made your chest hurt.
"Right there!" Betty pointed towards a trembling red head. She was wearing that white dress.
"Cheryl, stop!" She heard your voice and it felt like home.
Cheryl looked up at you, her face mirroring yours- frozen tears. You had to get to her, your forgotten best friend. "I am sorry! Come back here." You scream.
Cheryl looks at you with a small smile, little did you know it would be the last time you saw her lips form into that beautiful smile of hers.
You run towards her, but Archie chased you down. You heard him scream, "the ice is too thin, it will break!"
However, all sound was blocked out when you saw her sink into the ice.
"NO!" Your voice breaking from how hard you were yelling. You could feel your lungs igniting and the pain was beyond unbearable.
You felt a pair of arms hug you, and with tears covering your eyes- you saw Archie run to free Cheryl. Your mind was displaying all the memories you had made with her, by this point you felt numb. You felt a piece of you ripping apart.
"Cheryl..." you sighed, before passing out.
* end of flashback*
I could have done something, were the only words you could say or think. You stopped going to school, and basically erased yourself from any human contact.
Now here you are, sitting inside your room. The room Cheryl would light up after a bad day, she was always there when you needed her. Why did you fail her?
"I am sorry." You cried, looking up at the ceiling. Tomorrow would be her funeral, and you could not bring yourself to be there. How could you?
You left her all alone, when she needed you the most. Sure, she pushed you away, but you should have persisted. She was so valuable to you, so losing her made that usual sparkle in your eyes and toothy grin fade away. Now, your eyes were droopy and your lips were chapped from all the bites due to you trying to keep it all in. However, you were done from hiding- hiding all your burdens. You felt surprisingly alone. Your dad was too focused on paying the bills, while your mom was probably having a blast after leaving you. Cheryl had your back, she was your rock, and after she pushed you away- all you could do was hide your emotions. When Jason died, you also broke down and having friends by your side was all you wanted. Sure Archie and the rest supported you, but you felt uncomfortable venting out to them. You did not want to be a burden anymore. You did not want to live anymore.
"I can't anymore." You sighed with a hiccup, that tightening feeling in your heart- coming back.
You trembled weakly as you stood up from your carpeted floor and went into the restroom.
****** trigger warning, loves. 🌻 read at your own risks babes******
Unsure groans left your lips as you lifted a blade.
"Y/n, this is for the best..." you attempted to assure yourself.
You went inside the empty tub, located inside your bathroom and lifted up your hoodie's sleeves.
"Cheryl, I love you too." You take three deep breathes and place the tip of the blade on the vein that was on your wrists. You hold in a scream as your skin began to rip slightly, however you abruptly stop when your room's door burst open.
"Dear god!" Betty shakes when she catches sight of you, since your bathroom door was wide open. Veronica covers her mouth the moment she sees you laying inside the tub, so defenseless and confused. The best friends hug as Archie and Jughead act quickly. Jughead rushes towards your side and kisses your forehead, in a brotherly type of way which causes you to feel a rush of relief. Jughead takes advantage of the opportunity and takes away the blade that was seconds from taking your life.
"You are to precious for this world." Jughead soothingly tells you, while throwing the blade away.
"It is my fault she is gone."
"No it isn't. Don't blame yourself y/n, you tried and she appreciates that. She loved you unconditionally." Jughead uses his thumb to wipe off your warm tears.
"Yeah, you clearly feel awful about what happened. All of us would feel the same if you left us, we already lost a dear friend. Y/n we need uou. You are worth it." Archie sighs through his nose. You hadn't noticed that he had wrapped your arm to stop the bleeding temporarily.
Archie motioned for you to lift up your arms and you did. He scooped you up and clutched you onto his chest. You heard his increased heartbeat and realized he was being honest about- being afraid to lose you.
"I am sorry." You direct to everyone in the room, as you relaxed in the ginger's arms.
Your body shook as Archie carried you down the stairs, where your dad wore a panicked face.
"Help me take her to the hospital."
"Dad." You sigh apologetically. Archie pauses enough for your dad to reply.
"You will be okay princess. You will go to a psychologist, that way you have an outlet." Not wanting to argue, feeling absolutely numb, and your friends urging Archie to hurry- paused you from responding.
Once inside the car, the burning in your heart subsided and it was replaced by a cool sensation.
"Rest y/n. Promise you will wake up though." Betty scolds. You are able to muster enough strength to put a thumbs up.
*in your nap*
"Y/n! What were you thinking?" A familiar voice booms
"Cheryl?" You question, your eyes adjusting to a strong light. "Where am I?"
"That doesn't matter, you are imagining me." She rolls her eyes, however a smile plays on her lips. Her hair is swept to the side and her skin looks even more flawless.
"I am sorry, for everything." You mutter
"I am sorry too. I know you tried so hard to be there for me, I honestly didn't want any help. I love you [your nickname]. Stay alive for me though, yeah?"
"But you left. You could have lived with me!" You cry
"No, I would have only existed."
"I miss you."
"I am still around, in that strong and beautiful heart of yours."
"Huh?"
"A heart is its own world, I live in yours still. Now, when you wake up - appreciate everyone and everything for the both of us." Cheryl grins.
"Will you be okay?"
"Of course, will you?"
"I can try."
"You have so much to learn y/n, but from growing up with you- I thank you. You taught me so much."
"I love you. I wish you were still here."
"Jason and I, we miss being alive sure, but we are okay. I am sorry, but remember I am still alive in your memories and heart."
You close the distance between the both of you and hug the red head. She laughs and squeezes you even tighter," Live y/n. Just live" she whispers.
You flutter your eyes open suddenly and all you see is a bright light, then someome covers it, saying, "you woke up! Thank god!"