Chapter 28
Two months had passed since Blake knew the truth about Jesse death. I still had my 'walls up' to protect myself but each day they were slowly coming down. Blake somehow had won my trust and I had never been happier.
Every aspect of our relationship had gotten better, we could talk about everything even if we'd argue afterwards. When we'd go out he'd always find someway to make me feel safe and protected. I was starting to feel like an girly girl which freaked me out at times.
It fascinated me because now, I had no more secrets to keep from him. Since I was little, I was always the girl who had to keep secrets, now I didn't have to watch what I said around Blake or push him away or even talk 'code' with my parents when he was around. I could just be me and each day he showed me that was what he wanted.
Blake's mom and his friends still didn't know the truth about my childhood and that was more than okay with me. They didn't need to know and if one day they did, Blake and I would cross that bridge together when the time was right.
"It's so hard." I said surprised, I didn't remember it feeling like this with my mom.
"It’s supposed to be hard and give it a couple more weeks, it will be even harder." Lisa said.
"I can't believe it. Why would you wait so long to tell me?! I know I'm never here but it's called a telephone!" I said loudly while feeling like the worst friend ever.
"I wanted to finish my first trimester and then tell you in person but almost two months after that..." She explained while unintentionally making me feel worse.
"I'm so sorry I haven't been around. When I'd come here, you weren't here and..." I said, not knowing how to finish my sentence.
"I was probably with the baby's daddy." Lisa said with a big smile.
"It's strange, I don't even know a thing about him."
"He's perfect...well perfect for me. Brian and I work together, we like a lot of the same stuff which makes it fun. I know that even though everything is great now, I know it won’t always be that way. The baby wasn't planned or anything but I love him and he loves me...we're happy." She told me.
"What did your mom say?" I asked a bit worried.
She rolled her eyes, "When I told her, she was really surprised... but she's coming around to it. Even though I'm a grown-up, I got the lecture that I'm too young and that a baby shouldn't be my focus at my age but now she more relaxed and really excited. Each time I go over, she shows me something new she bought for the baby...she even told all our neighbors’ that she's going to be a grandma. I swear it's like she's a completely different person from when I told her." Lisa said.
"I'm glad that she's happy and at least you won't have to stress over that... It's strange how things turn out. Leaving this place...it's hard, even though I wasn't here most of the time. It was still a safe place to go if I needed it." I told her.
"How did Blake ask you to move in?" Lisa asked with a big smile.
"He just said that I should move all my stuff to his place, that way I wouldn't have to go back and forth all the time like I've been doing." I told her.
"Wow, he's so romantic." Lisa joked, making me laugh.
"Honestly, he really can be at times but when he asked me to move in, he was straightforward." I explained.
"I obviously know what you said but how did you react?" She asked.
"...I jumped him..." I answered and she laughed.
"You?" I asked Lisa.
"Well, I saw it coming, certainly with the baby but he could have left me there and tell me to get lost but he didn't. He's a really good guy and...he makes me happy." She said.
"It's strange that we're leaving at the same time but it makes sense. Well, for me anyhow...I could never afford this place without you or without a roommate at least."
"Well you're still going to have a roommate except he's sexy and you can do all the dirty things you want with or to him." She said smiling at me.
"Damn right. Life can be great at times." I said laughing. "I'm happy that Blake asked me to move in before learning that you were moving out. I wouldn't want to force him into something he wasn't ready for. This way, it was just natural but I was so nervous about telling you." I said, being honest with her.
"Me too." She said with a small smile.
Looking at our apartment, it was almost empty. Boxes were everywhere with either Lisa's name or my name on it and which room it needed to go. Luckily for me I didn't have a lot of stuff, unlike Lisa.
I felt sad and happy all at the same time. I was turning 21 soon, I felt like my real childhood was ending and that a real adult life was about to start. I knew I was still young but that was the way I felt.
I heard a knock on the front door and I made my way to answer it. I looked in the peephole and as soon as I saw who it was, I smiled.
"Hey gorgeous! Did you need help?" Blake asked as soon as I opened the door.
"That would be great." I answered.
He came in the apartment and gave me a quick kiss on the lips.
"Hey Lisa, congratulations! That's pretty exciting news!" He said with a big smile.
"It's getting there. Right now I'm more nervous than excited." She admitted.
"What part are you more nervous about?" I asked.
"Everything...the delivery and being a mom...it's overwhelming."
"I know you'll be a great mom, you've mothered me since we were kids." I said laughing. "For the delivery...are you going to take the drugs?" I asked curiously.
"Of course! The first thing I'm saying when I walk in there is give me the epidural!" She said jokingly. "To be honest, I don't know. If I can handle the pain, then I'm going to do it without anything and if I can't handle it...then yeah I'll take the drugs. I know it's stupid but I'm nervous I'll shit myself. I've heard so many people tell me that it's a normal thing but...it would be so embarrassing." She said with big eyes.
I tried not to laugh but wasn't very successful. "You'll do fine. If you do shit yourself, I'm sure they won't even tell you. I heard the same thing from people at work and they say it's a natural thing. It's not something you can control besides, when the time comes you won't even care about that, you will be so focused on getting that beautiful baby out that you won't care about anything else."
"I know I have mix emotions about so many things...a part of me wishes it would have happened a few years from now. I would have been more prepared, financially at least." She said.
"Maybe you're right but maybe you're wrong. No one knows how things will be or how they'll turn out a few years from now. It's normal to be nervous about it." I told her.
"I agree with that." Blake said, sounding different.
Lisa and I looked at him, Blake was standing next to the fridge, the loaf of bread on the counter with a slice in his hands and his mouth full. I didn't even see him go to the fridge or hear it opening.
"Why are you eating bread?" I asked him.
"Um...because I don't think there is anything safe in there to eat except the bread." He said.
I looked at Lisa as she said, "He's right...I haven't been here in over a week. Who knows what's growing in there..."
I shook my head and laughed. As much as I loved every part of him, sometimes he just made me wonder what was going on in that head of his.
"We can't forget to clean that out before we leave." I said to Lisa and she nodded her head in agreement.
When all the boxes were packed, we emptied the fridge and threw everything out in the garbage. Brian showed up right on time as we starting to pack our cars. We all helped Lisa with her boxes and Brian kept telling her not to pickup any of them, that it wasn't safe for her to do so with the baby while she loudly said that the doctors told her it was fine as long as the boxes weren't too heavy. I laughed because bickering and giving orders to Lisa was impossible, she would only do the complete opposite. She'd pick up the small boxes that weren't heavy just to prove that she could do it while still listening to her doctor. Orders from doctors weren't the same as orders from family members, boyfriend, friends...mentally she was still a teenager trying to rebel when it came down to that, both of us had that in common. She wanted to show, probably mostly to herself, that she wasn't useless while making sure that the safety of the baby wasn't in jeopardy.
It was great to meet Brian, I was curious to know who the father of my bestfriend’s baby was. It appeared that all the things Lisa said about him were true, he was nice, kind and always made sure Lisa was okay. When they thought no one was looking, I was...I could see that Lisa was happy and Brian always smiled when he looked at her. It was impossible for me to know if he was actually a good guy or if he was just another monster, with only a few hours of being around him. Lisa only spoke good things about him but those thoughts of mine didn't stop lingering in my head.
Emily had helped a lot with my relationships; the relationship with my family, friends from work, Blake but mostly the relationship with myself. The only problem that hadn't change was the feelings I had towards strangers. I knew it would take time for me to like Brian and I also knew Lisa was aware of it, only time would tell but I mentally made a note of it to keep an eye on things. I wondered if that feeling of paranoia would ever go away. I knew that not everyone was a monster but it was always a constant battle in my head when I'd meet someone new.
"Call me when you get settled." I told Lisa, giving her a hug goodbye, after everyone’s cars were packed.
"I will. Enjoy your new home honey!" She said loudly.
"New place..." I said.
"New start." She finished. She got in the car and rolled down her window, "I love you kiddo!" she yelled.
I smiled and blew her a kiss. Blake put his arms around me, pressing his chest to my back.
"Nervous?" He asked.
I watched Lisa's car leave the parking lot. I felt sad that this part of my life was finished but I knew what was going to happen next was going to be more amazing than I could imagine.
"No, I'm not nervous. I've been basically living with you for months now." I said smiling.
I felt his arms tighten a bit around me and slowly he started kissing my neck.
"You better stop that." I warned him.
"I'm not doing anything wrong." He answered and I knew he was smiling as he kept kissed my neck.
"Don't start something you can't finish." I told him.
"I can finish...I can make you finish too." He teased.
I laughed and turned around to face him.
"Not in a parking lot, on concrete, where any second people could walk right beside us. I love you but I'm not going to love you this publicly." I told him with both of my hands on his chest.
"Your car or mine?" He said with his sexy smirk.
"Wow, you can be so romantic..." I said smiling at him.
My parents were right, when I'd fall in love, I would love that person with my whole heart and I wouldn't be able to see a future without that person in it. Blake was my number one, he was the person I wanted to be with and what I found more amazing was that I knew he felt the same way about me.
"I love you too." He said with his hands on my back bringing me closer to him. His lips met mine and as always, he lit the fire within me making me want him.
"Your car...it has tinted windows." I whispered between kisses.
I felt his smile against my lips which made me smile as well. At times, he had total power over me but I knew with him I would always be safe.
I felt his hands move from my back to my hands and I broke the kiss.
"You are one hell of a woman." He whispered with half a smile.
"You have no idea." I answered.
With my hand in his, I started to walk towards his car; silently telling him to follow me. His smile got bigger and not long after we were in the backseat of his car with my shirt in the front seat. I helped him take off his shirt when I heard his head hit the roof of the car.
"You okay?" I asked.
"Yeah yeah." He said quickly, bringing his lips back to mine, making me smile.
He took off my pants and his were half way down when I heard the car next to us make a noise, informing the unknown driver that their car doors were now unlocked.
Blake and I stopped moving and seconds later a woman was walking next to our car. I couldn't breath, I was too nervous. I let my head fall on the seat as Blake lowered himself, getting closer to me so that I was somewhat hidden, since my bra and underwear were the only things I had on. The woman played with her keys, got in her car and then slowly left her parking spot.
"Oh my god." I whispered and took a deep breath then started to laugh.
"You okay?" Blake asked worried.
"Yeah, I'm good. You?" I asked in return.
"Yeah...and still good to go..." He said, silently asking if we were going to continue or not.
I smiled, "Good and thank god for dark tinted windows." I finished.
"Amen." He smiled, bringing his lips back to mine.
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Three Years later…
"There're so many of them." Blake stated as he crouched down so he could see more easily.
I nodded my head because I didn't know what else to say. I felt lost standing in the middle of one of the aisle in the drug store starring at little boxes that were going to change our lives forever but I didn't know where to start. "Should we should stick with the same company for both of them?" I asked him.
Looking at him, he looked more lost than me. "You sure you want to do this?" I asked.
His eyes turned to mine, "I've never been more sure of anything in my life. You?" He asked.
"Same here." I answered with a smile on my face.
"Okay, so you said we should take the same brand or company... I've seen the commercials for this one." He said showing me a box that contained ovulation tests.
"Wow, there are 20 tests in here! ...let's take it." I told him.
"And which pregnancy test would you like?" He asked me with a big smile on his face.
"That one." I said pointing to one of the boxes. "It has five tests in there." I said but mostly to myself.
"If the first one is positive, are you going to pee on all the rest?" He asked.
I smiled, "Probably...just to make sure."
I looked at him, he was looking right back at me with his amazing smile and his eyes were just shining with excitement.
"So we'll be very busy..." He started to say.
"Yup!" I answered, smiling.
"What ever happens, they better be like you." He said getting up but keeping eye contact with me.
"They?" I asked surprised.
With half a smile he nodded his head, "Yeah." He finally answered.
"Let’s start with one...deal?" I asked a bit nervous.
"Deal."
I shook my head, "You're lucky you're hot." I told him while trying not to smile.
"Thanks gorgeous, that means if you can’t resist me the odds are on my side that you'll give me more than one baby." He whispered then gave me a quick kiss.
We went to pay for our items then made our way to our truck. We still lived in Blake's apartment but each time I'd use those exact words he would correct me by saying 'our apartment'. I didn't make a lot of changes after I moved in. I loved his apartment since we started dating and I still loved it now. We both knew that once we were pregnant we'd have to move, there wasn't enough room in the apartment for a baby and also, in a one bedroom apartment, it wasn't a choice.
"Are you sure you don't want to do this the 'proper' way?" He asked me as he was driving.
"I don't need a piece of paper, a fancy party or an expensive ring to know that I want you and only you for the rest of my life. That I want to be with you even when you're sick, when you're seriously irritating the hell out of me, even when I want to kick your ass because you are the only person that I truly love. I love the way you look at me when you think no one is looking, the way you make me laugh with the simplest things, how happy I am everyday when I see you come home from work. I love you more everyday that we are together and I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else. The good really outweighs the bad, you make me a better person, and a happier person...I love you. It's as simple as that." I told him.
"You know what you just said, those are pretty much vows." He stated.
I didn't say anything, I didn't know what else to say so my eyes just looked outside my window.
"Okay so let’s forget for a second what you just said..." He started to say.
"Thank you."
"So...you don't want a fancy ring?" He asked.
I rolled my eyes, "You said you would forget about it...and is that the only thing that stood out, out of everything I just said?" I asked him.
"Of course not but you really don't want a ring? It doesn't have to be an engagement ring but at least people would know that you are spoken for and to back off." He said.
I turned my head to look at him for a few seconds, "Did you buy me a ring?" I asked him. I liked when he was a bit jealous even though there was no need for it, no man could ever compare to him.
He paused for a bit. "Maybe." He answered after a few seconds. "Would you wear it?" He asked, trying to look at me without taking his eyes off the road for too long, just so that he could see my facial expression.
"Yes I would wear it." I answered with a big smile on my face.
I know he felt the same way I did, he didn't need a piece of paper to know that I was his and he was mine. That he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and that we would love each other for the rest of our lives, for better or for worse.
If ever one of us would want that piece of paper and say 'I do' in front of family, friends or simply in front of a Judge, we would. Our love for one another wasn't a question anymore, we knew we wanted to be together and that one day we’d marry but for now, we were happy.
I learned at a very young age that life isn't perfect, far from perfect, and I knew that the future would be the same. Nothing is guaranteed or written in stones but I knew what I wanted, I wanted a life and family with Blake and that I would fight with all I had for us to be together. As long as Blake was with me and that both of us were happy, I knew that everything would be fine.
"I'm so glad to hear it gorgeous... you made me nervous for a bit there." He said, this time not looking my way.
"I'd be happy to wear anything from you." I told him.
"Really? That is very interesting..." He answered with a small smile on his face.
I knew he was imagining me wearing god knows what or probably wearing nothing at all. I smiled and shook my head. I couldn't love him any more than I already did even if his mind was in the gutter most of the time because my mind was right there with his.
I turned my body a bit so that I could see him more easily. I felt the car speed up as I looked at the speedometer, he was pressing a bit more on the gas.
"In a hurry?" I asked him.
"If we want a kid...we better start taking our practice time more seriously." He said, trying to keep a serious face but couldn't hide his smile.
I laughed, "That would be a great idea... Don't get pulled over though, I don't think the cops would approve or agree with you on this one."
"Good point." He answered.
I felt the car slow down a bit which made me smile. I loved the fact that he still loved being that close to me. That after almost four years of us being together, we weren't sick of each other, that it was actually the complete opposite.
"I love you gorgeous." He said then looked at me.
I smiled and said it right back to him. I'm not sure if he really knew how much but...good god, how much I loved this man and I hope that it would never change.
****Please Vote & Comment! Thank You!!****
Hi everyone! Like I said on Facebook, at the very beginning of March, this is the last chapter for this story. Next up will be the epilogue! Thank you for all your support and understanding throughout this story, you guys are truly amazing.
xx