Chapter 56
(Kat's POV)
It was one of those days.
I was laying alone on the couch in my apartment, staring at the blank wall. I played with the ring Zayn gave me on Christmas, Tigger purring as he slept on the floor beside me. I sighed, over thinking was getting the best of me once again.
For the past few hours, Zayn was the only thing on my mind. Our relationship and all of it's flaws started to show and I was getting a bit scared. What if we do get caught? That would be absolutely horrible. Zayn might get hurt and dad would never trust me again. I couldn't risk Zayn getting hurt, but I wasn't going to leave him.
We all knew that wasn't an option.
Zayn was the best thing that had ever happened to me, and I couldn't risk losing him. But every second I spent with him thinned our chances. I shut my eyes and groaned, this was terrible.
Just then, I heard keys rattling in the door but I didn't bother to look up. The only people who had keys to my flat were Zayn and Dad, and dad was still in Paris.
"Hey there sweetheart," Zayn sounded happy as he walked in. Ever since the incident with his family, he has been extremely happy. While I was out visiting mom, he visited his family also. He told me all about it and I also met them for a while. His mom asked him to move back but he told her that he had a lot depending on him here. He chose to stay here but he was going to send her money and visit every month, as a reassurance that he was still helping her.
"Hi," I mumbled as my eyes remained on the ceiling.
He walked over to me and threw his keys to the side. Without saying a word, he crawled on top of me, putting his arms on either side of me and looked into my eyes.
I stared at him and sighed. He was so beautiful. What the hell. If he wasn't Zayn I'm sure that I would've left him by now. But unfortunately, he was. But it did come in handy at times.
"Is everything alright?" He asked, bending down to place a kiss on my lips.
"Perfect," I tried to lie.
He chucked at my attempt, "what's bothering you baby?"
I sighed, wishing I could lie to him without him knowing. But it was impossible. "How much longer Zayn?"
"What?"
"How much longer?" I repeated. "Are we going to hide like this forever?"
He shook his head, "don't worry about it babe. We'll be fine."
He bent down and started kissing my neck softly, trying to distract me. I sighed, "what if we're not?"
"Why worry," he mumbled against my neck, "when we can love each other instead."
"Zayn," I said as he continued kissing my neck. He didn't stop, trying to make me feel better, but it honestly just wasn't working.
"Please Zayn," I said. "Stop."
He separated his lips from my neck and looked into my eyes, his face hovering above mine. He looked hurt though, as if I slapped him across the face. But I sighed, and leaned up before pressing my lips to his. He didn't kiss back though, sensing the pity in my lips.
"Listen to me Zayn," I said once we pulled away. "What if our love can't get us through this?"
He looked at me as if I asked him a question in a different language. I stared back, genuinely wanting to know the answer. He didn't reply though, instead he just got up and walked off of the couch. I didn't bother looking where he was going, for I already knew that I would hear something smash in about a minute or two.
So I shut my eyes, and I counted. Within a minute and twenty eight seconds, I heard a glass break and cursing coming from the kitchen. I got up and walked to the kitchen effortlessly.
"Zayn, how many times do I have to tell you that smashing things doesn't fix any problems." I spoke, walking to the broken glass on the floor. Damn, I thought to myself as I picked up the pieces, that was my favorite mug.
I heard a heavy sigh escape his lips before he bent down and started to help me pick up the glass. "Sorry for breaking your favorite mug," he apologized like he had read my mind.
I shrugged, "I'll just order a new one."
It became silent after that. The only sound was glass scratching the floor as we picked it up. Once we both cleaned up the glass quietly, he leaned against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest then said, "why don't you believe in our relationship?"
I looked at him, but he wasn't looking at me. In fact, he tried to avoid eye contact with me as he looked at the floor.
"Is that what you think?" I asked him.
He nodded, still not looking up. I walked towards him and placed my fingers under his chin, lifting his gaze to meet mine. When I looked into his eyes, it literally felt like I was stabbed in the heart. He looked so hurt as if he really thought I didn't believe in us.
"But I do," I replied, my voice shaking.
"Kat, please don't cry," I hadn't realized I cried until he said that. He reached up and wiped a tear from my cheeks. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings babe, I'm sorry. Please stop crying. I'm so sorry sweetheart."
I shook my head, tears pooling out from my eyes. "I really do believe in us Zayn, but I'm just upset."
"About what?"
"That we have to hide from the world, Zayn. Why do we have it like this?" I looked up at him, begging him to give me an answer that may actually help in any way.
He sighed, "why does it bother you so much? Who cares what the world thinks?"
Hot and angry tears burned my eyes. I wanted an answer from him, but he didn't take this seriously. It didn't even bother him at all.
"I care Zayn!" I shouted, but I didn't know why I yelled at him. He didn't do anything to make me mad. But I just had to let it out. "I care because the world controls us, we don't control the world! No matter how much we try, we are always going to hide!"
He pulled me to him, trying to remain calm as I lost control. But I pulled apart quickly, knowing that he was going to start distracting me with kisses.
I noticed his jaw tighten, he was getting mad. "Kat, we're together and isn't that all that matters? If we cared about what others thought, would we have been here?"
"What?! Zayn, if we didn't care about everyone else, we'd be free. But we do because we have to!" My mind was telling me to stop talking but my heart was telling me to let it out.
"No we fucking don't!" He yelled back very loudly. Without a warning, he reached over and smashed the glass sitting next to him, making it fall to the ground and break. I flinched.
"Kat, is my love not enough for you?! I give you everything, I love you more than I have ever loved anyone in my life, but it isn't enough for you, is it? You just want to tell everyone that I'm your boyfriend, right? Nothing else!?"
"No Zayn," I cried. "I just wish that we could stop hiding. I don't want you to get hurt by dad if he finds out!"
He took a step closer to me, but I backed away, knowing how bad his anger got. "What the hell am I supposed to do about the way your family and friends feel about me? Am I supposed to let it get to me like you do?!" His voice was booming throughout the house know and I was afraid the neighbors could hear.
"No Zayn," I whispered as he took another step towards me. I backed away again but bumped into the empty counter behind me. My heart rate quickened as I felt something I had never felt towards Zayn; fear.
"Tell me something Kat, if you want the world to hear that I love you, then let's go. I will happily tell the world that I love you. But that won't win anything for us!"
I shut my eyes, my heart pounding in my ears. I hoped to block him out, knowing that I was about to pop any second. But when I popped, I ended up regretting everything. Besides, Zayn is making me feel very terrified. My breathing became heavy and I gripped on to the counters, ready for anything that was next.
I heard him sigh and I opened my eyes. He rubbed his face with his hand stressfully before placing a hand on my cheek softly. I flinched unknowingly.
"Y-you aren't scared of me, are you?" He asked, his attitude changing in a second.
I didn't reply.
"Kat, I'm so sorry. I just got a bit angry, nothing else," he reassured me.
I looked down at the ground but he lifted my gaze. He looked at me with sorry eyes before leaning in a placing a soft kiss on my cheek. I jumped, once again unknowingly, at his touch.
"Sweetheart," he whispered in his honey sweet voice. "I would never ever hurt you, you know that right?"
I nodded and he let out a sigh of relief. "Good."
I played with my fingers, looking down. "I'm sorry Zayn, I'm just scared."
"Of what baby?"
I shrugged, "you might get hurt if dad ever finds out. I really don't want that."
"He won't," he said. "And if he does, I will just let him know that I love you more and more every day, so nothing can tear us apart."
I looked up at him, "I wish I had your attitude."
He shook his head, "no you don't."
"Why?"
"Because then you'd make the love of your life scared of your touch." He looked very disappointed in himself, and I couldn't take it.
I gently placed my lips on his, knowing that he and I both needed it. He replied with his lips, moving along with me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed me against the counter. I dug my nails into his hair playfully.
He grabbed my legs and lifted me on top of the counter. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him close to show him that I needed him. Because I needed him more than I needed air.
He bit on my bottom lip, asking for entrance. Without any doubt, I let his tongue into my mouth. He ran his tongue over my lips before entering into my mouth.
He gently laid me back on the counter and leaned over me, shielding my body with his.
"Kat," he moaned into my mouth. I shut my eyes as he said my name, making it sound better than ever.
"Zayn," I replied, hoping it sounded just as good.
As we kissed, I thought to myself, who really does give a fuck about the world. Zayn and I were together, we were unbreakable, and we were strong. No matter how much dad pulled us away, we'd always come back to each other. I didn't care what anyone said anymore, it was just Zayn and I against the world.
Once we pulled apart, he smiled down at me. I looked at him and said, "you didn't scare me babe, I promise."
He took a breath of relief, "I'm so sorry sweetheart, I didn't mean to make you scared."
He stood straight, climbing off of me. I sat up on the counter as he still had his arms around me.
"It's fine Zayn, I overreacted anyways."
He chuckled, "that, you did."
I giggled and playfully hit him on the shoulder. He laughed and said, "I promise you that I don't care about any world but you. You are my whole world Kat, please believe me. I want you to know that the less we care, the happier we'll be."
I nodded, "thank you Zayn."
He pulled me against him, embracing me, "don't mention it baby."
----------
It would mean a lot for you to leave feedback, vote, and follow me. Remember, it takes hours for me to write, and seconds for you to vote. :) ily.
Follow me on Twitter! @mindofballoons