Chapter 31: Time to Start Preparing
Seth and Selma took all the books and maps and continued working on them while the rest of us went our separate ways. I walked to the palace hand in hand with Pilote, but we had to say goodbye to talk to our parents. I can’t believe all this has happened at once. I wish I could talk to Caprika and Odyss right now. I hugged Pilote and walked through the palace to find mom and dad. I found myself stopping in front of Jasmine’s door instead. It seems like we haven’t talked in weeks. It probably hasn’t been that long. I wonder if we’re supposed to be mad or fighting with each other. I’m losing track because I know one of these days she’s going to betray all of us. I wonder how close she is to doing that now. I took a deep breath and knocked on her door.
“Come in,” I heard her say.
I slowly pushed the door open and saw her lying on her stomach on her bed. Everything in her room had a tiger theme. It looks exactly like her in some way.
“Want to talk?” she asked. I couldn’t read her expression or tone of voice. She didn’t sound happy, but she didn’t necessarily sound angry either.
“Sure,” I nodded.
I walked in and closed the door behind me. I sat on one of her chairs and she sat up on her bed.
“How’s the war going?” she asked.
It was then that I realized how close she was to betraying us. Any other family member would ask you how you are doing, but Jasmine didn’t. She didn’t ask how I was doing or what I wanted when I knocked; she asked how the war was going. There was something really suspicious about that.
“Don’t you know?” I asked back.
She shook her head, “I don’t care to know. I know the basics, I’m not stupid, but I’m taking your advice.”
That was a lie. She just lied to me. She glanced slightly to the side of me when she said it. She wanted to make it look like she was looking me in the eye without actually looking me in the eye. Maybe this is what Nancy meant when she told me you can figure out whether to trust someone by looking them in the eyes. I was looking Jasmine in the eyes, but she wasn’t looking directly at me. She was looking close enough hoping to fool me. She’s up to something, but I can’t stop it.
“You are? What advice?”
“Your advice to write about it; years from now the Tigmas need to know that it wasn’t all scary. That some of us were happy and safe while the real heroes were out there fighting. I want to be the one they find it out from.”
That last line.
I want to be the one they find it out from.
The connection; what Caprika and Odyss were talking about, that was it. She’s not going to tell future generations about the war. Jasmine’s going to the Silthra. Then I remembered what the Gods told me; I can’t tell her I know or stop her. I have to let her tell them.
I faked a smile, “That’s amazing. I’m really glad you’re happy.”
At least that part was true.
“Yeah, we really haven’t been acting like sisters though have we?”
Way to state the obvious, sister, I wanted to say but I held myself back. I can’t act like a sister when she’s running to the enemy.
I shrugged my shoulders, “It’s a war. I’m their leader. I’ve had so many people depending on me. It’s hard to make time for fun or even family. I’m just trying to do the right thing. My mind has to be on the war at all times.”
“We should at least make time before you go.”
I suddenly felt guilty for what I needed to bring up. This could be the last moment we see each other before the war ends and I’m going to ruin it.
I felt myself getting choked up as I said, “There’s no time.”
“What do you mean?” I could hear how alarmed she was in her tone of voice. Did I just say the wrong thing?
“We found a way to win,” I told her. I should be saying this, “But we’d need to leave in a few days.”
That’s what I’m going to regret saying, I know it.
“Days?!” she stood up from the bed and was suddenly standing right in front of me.
I regret saying it already.
“I’m sorry Jaz,” I stood up too. “I have to do this. If this is the last time we see each other I want you to know how much I love you. I know I’m supposed to live forever, but who knows what could happen out there. I love you Jasmine. You’re forever my sister. Family has a bond stronger than anything else so please remember that.”
She started crying as I spoke and I didn’t know whether it was because of what I said or because she’s going to regret doing something later.
She was barely able to reply, “I love you too Rolla.”
She pulled me into a hug first and I hugged her back tightly. I want to know why she would betray me. I want to know why she’s going to forget the words I just spoke to her and betray me. We were holding each other for dear life and I wish I could have stayed there forever. Neither one of us seemed to want to let go.
“I have to go,” I said as I finally pulled away. I have to get myself out of here now before I regret saying anything else.
I left her room without another word and wiped my tears as I continued down the hall to my parents. They were both relaxing in one of their living rooms. They looked at me as I walked into the living room. I pushed all of Jasmine’s thoughts out of my head so I could concentrate on what was happening.
“We need to talk,” I told my parents.
“What is it?” Dad asked.
“We need to leave in a few days.”
“Why? What’s going on?” he asked.
“The war is happening. The world’s moving and now the army does too. Are you ready or not?”
“Rolla, you’re not making any sense,” Mom said.
“I know it doesn’t make sense, but I can’t explain anymore. Sometimes war doesn’t always have to make sense, but this is what’s happening and I need everyone to be ready now.”
“Then let’s go,” Dad said.
“No,” I said, “You can’t go. The army and the chosen ones; that’s it.”
“What?! I’m the King and it’s my duty to protect my people.”
“Not anymore,” I snapped. “I’m the leader of the chosen ones and it’s my duty to protect our people. Don’t you think the Silthra know what you look like? It can only be the chosen ones and the army. It’s too dangerous any other way. No one can know we’re on the move.”
“Fine,” Dad sighed and agreed.
“How can you agree to that?!” Mom snapped at him.
“She’s the chosen one for a reason!” Dad roared. “We have no power against her; not even as the king and queen. She has the ultimate decision. What she says goes.”
“I promise I will bring back the glory,” I told them both. “We’re not coming back without a win.”
“I know,” Dad smiled. “Make me proud.”
I smiled back, “Always.”
I hugged them both and left them in the living room to find Pilote. He came out of his parents’ part of the house as I came down the hall. I felt so many emotions inside of me and tears welled up in my eyes. Between the conversation with my parents and the conversation with Jasmine I don’t think I can handle all this. I picked up my speed and I caught Pilote’s attention. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. He hugged me back without saying a word.
“Oh baby, what’s wrong?”
“I talked to Jasmine,” I sniffed.
“Shh, it’s okay,” he calmed me down. “You can explain everything later.”
“No,” I shook my head, “I need to now. I can’t handle this.”
“Okay,” he sighed, “We can go up to our room now and talk. We’ll worry about everything else later okay?”
“Thank you,” I mumbled.
“Mhmm.”
I adjusted my arms and hugged him around the stomach. He wrapped his arms around my waist and got prepared to try and shield me from Murera. I could feel their eyes on me as we stepped out of the palace. They could probably see that I was crying. I walked up the balcony and into our house. The chosen ones were all back together in the main living room.
“Hey!”
“What’s going on?”
They were all asking question, but I didn’t even want to look up. Jasmine’s words kept repeating in my head because I know she was lying. I know she’s going to betray me, but I can’t say anything. I want to say something and I want to stop it, but I know it would ruin everything. I can’t disobey the Gods; they’re our Gods.
“It’s nothing,” Pilote said. “Just relax for the night. We’re done for the day.”
When Pilote finally closed our bedroom door I cuddled up in our bed.
“Talk to me,” Pilote said. He got in bed next to me and pulled me closer to him.
“Jasmine wasn’t ready. She was lying and I slipped up and told her we had to leave. Pilote, what if they all die? What if the chosen ones die in this war because I couldn’t stop Jasmine from betraying all of us? I’ve never thought about them gone before. What if I can’t handle all this death? What am I going to say or do when Jasmine finally betrays us?”
“You’re the strongest person I know. If anyone can handle all this, it’s you. But Rolla, I’m not going anywhere. A lot of people might die in this war, but I won’t be one of them. You’re never going to be alone again. This war isn’t going to be easy, but it has to be done.”
“I’m just scared of losing everything I care about.”
He kissed my head, “They’ll always be with you. They’re in your spirit and they’re in your heart. They’ll never truly be gone.”
“That’s pretty wise of you,” I smirked.
“Yeah I read it somewhere,” he chuckled.
“Thank you though,” I smiled.
“Is that why you were upset?”
“Yeah,” I sighed, “That was just the first conversation I’ve had with Jasmine in weeks and it really rattled me to think it might be our last. That next time I see her I won’t feel the same because she betrayed me. It hit me more than I thought it would and I figured out how she’s going to betray me. The way she worded things today were just really off, but I know she said it for a reason. She lied to me too and I could tell because she wouldn’t look me in the eyes. Everything about the conversation was weird.”
“It’s okay to let it out, Ro. You don’t have to be strong all the time.”
I relaxed a little, “With you I don’t.”
“We’re the only ones in here.”
“Yeah,” I smiled, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” he whispered against my hair as he kissed my head one more time. “Anything else bothering you?”
“It’s just this whole thing. I don’t want to say goodbye to everyone. I spent my entire childhood alone. I didn’t have any friends or people to talk to or hand out with and now I finally do. I don’t want it all to come crashing down on me during the war.”
“I don’t think all the chosen ones are going to die in this war,” Pilote said.
“You don’t?”
“No,” he replied, “They’re strong. They’re fighters and they’re warriors. A lot of them will come back with us. They won’t be the chosen ones if they weren’t. Some of them will die though.”
“You’re right,” I said, “I know you’re right. They’re the chosen ones for a reason. I’m just scared.”
“I know you are.”
“But I don’t have to be,” I finished.
“You don’t have to be,” he repeated.
“What should we do now that we’re here?” I asked him.
“Enjoy it. If we only had tonight here what would you want to do?”
“Blog,” I laughed and answered seriously.
“Really?” he laughed at me. “You’d blog?”
“I don’t get on there a lot,” I replied. “I love my blog and my commenters and readers. They were a second family to me when I was so alone. They know me better than anyone yet they have no idea who I am. I want to say goodbye to them too.”
“Then let’s do it.”
He went over to my desk and picked up my laptop.
“Are you serious?” I smiled.
“I am,” He smiled, “Your blog is the way I found you, remember?”
“That’s true,” I smiled back.
He sat back down on the bed and handed me my laptop.
“What should I blog about?” I asked him.
“Just blog about how you feel,” he said. “I’ve always loved how honest you are about the world on there. You understand it better than anyone.”
“Okay, I have an idea.”
I opened my laptop and logged in. I clicked the internet and went to my blog; my last post again had lots of comments and readers. I clicked new post and started typing. Pilote put his arm around me and watched me type my post.
Title: Meaning of Life
Body: Some of us spend our entire lives trying to figure out the meaning of life. Stephen King’s dark tower series followed a guy who thought he knew his purpose only to figure out his destination led him back to the beginning. I don’t think the meaning of life was meant to be figured out. I don’t think that God or whatever higher power you believe in meant for us to know. Maybe there isn’t one meaning at all. Maybe we all have different meanings or maybe it really is about the journey.
I’m starting to figure mine out right now. I have a higher power in this world than just living. I want to make a difference and I’m making a difference every day. It’s for that reason that I’m revealing myself on here. You’ve been loyal readers for years. You’ve stayed with me through the ups and the downs and I’ve learned to love you like family.
My name’s Rolla Carter and I… am Tiger’s Eye. If you live in my area, you know my name. You’ve heard it on the news and you’ve heard all the rumors. I’m back again; the spirit of a cat and the fight of a tiger. Now that I’ve found my place, I know who I am and I know I’m making the right decisions. I know I’m on the right side.
Sincerely, Rolla Carter. Tiger’s Eye.
I attached a picture of Pilote and I and hit post.
“Are you sure they should know who you are?” Pilote asked me when I closed my computer.
“Pilote, no matter what happens in the war I want to be remember for doing the right thing. I want my readers to know who I am. They know I would never do the wrong thing. When this war hits the news, the thousands of views I have will be enough to figure out what the bad side is. They will know I’m on the good side.”
“You’re using your blog fan base to gain followers,” he stated.
I nodded, “Exactly. That school is not enough humans that need to accept us. I had to reveal myself before the war. My followers will see the news and they’ll say my name and know what I’m trying to do. That’s what they’ll tell everyone. They’ll know I’m not the bad guy and we’ll get help.”
“That’s brilliant. I never would have thought of that.”
“That’s why I’m the leader,” I teased him.
“Right, I forgot,” he replied sarcastically.
“Okay,” I laughed. “Let’s look at the comments.”
I opened my laptop again and went back to my post.
“It’s already got a lot of comments,” I said.
“I’ll read them,” Pilote said and we scrolled through the comments.
@AliceInWonderland: I’ve been reading Rolla’s blog this whole time?! It’s Alice! You’re truly amazing Ro! Say hi to Jasmine for me. Missing her like crazy.
“Wait,” I told Pilote, “I want to reply to Alice.”
@TigersEye: @AliceInWonderland I’ll send her the message. You’re the amazing one Alice. Thanks for being a dedicated reader. J
“Okay,” I told him, “We can read some other ones now.”
@ASDFJKL1: oh my God. I’ve been reading your blog for years and I’m so happy I can put a name and face to it now.
@SwaggerJulie: Rolla! My friend says she remembers you!
@Cher123: You were all over the news last year! Now I know you were only doing the right thing.
@Hillarz89: I searched you on the internet after I read this and told my parents about it. They’re fans now too!
@DuffStuff23: You always have a fan base to come back to Rolla.
“They love you,” Pilote smiled.
“Wait, there’s one for you!”
“Where?”
“It’s from TigersFan34, who’s the hot guy in that pic? Is he taken for long?” I laughed.
He laughed too, “Looks like I’m gaining a fan base too.”
“I’ll reply to her,” I laughed.
“Don’t be too cruel, she may not be my fan anymore.”
“Ha ha,” I said sarcastically.
I started typing a response back, @TigersEye: @TigersFan34 That would be Pilote, my boyfriend :D.
@TigersFan34: He’s hot! I approve!
Pilote and I both laughed.
“I’m so relieved she approves,” I joked.
“Me too,” he replied. “I was worried.”
“Sure you were,” I laughed.
“Hey, they might have thought I was a stalker.”
I held my finger up, “In my defense, you acted stalkerish and I had no idea soul mates or the Tigmas existed. Stalker seemed like the only possibility.”
He tossed my computer to the other end of the bed and held me closer, “What do you think now?”
“I think I really like this,” I smiled.
“Really?” he smirked.
I nodded.
“So you’d like it even more if I kissed you right now?”
“I’d hate you if you didn’t.”
“In that case –“
His lips crashed down on mine. He deepened the kiss and put his hand on my cheek. It was one of those long and tender kisses that I love. I wanted it to last forever. It would have continued if someone hadn’t knocked on the door.
I groaned as we pulled apart, “Why?”
Pilote chuckled, “They have shit timing.”
“Tell me about it.”
He kissed me quickly one more time and got up to answer the door.
THE END CHAPTER 31!!
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