(A/N: Thank you all for the kind words/comments on the last chapter :) One Night hit one million views today! I'm so happy and I owe it all to you guys! Thank you! Hope you like the chapter!)
Me and My Broken Heart - Rixton
What You Know - Two Door Cinema Club
Paradise - Coldplay
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Louis and I take several more shots together; I'm not sure how many more just to the point that we're hanging on each other laughing. I just want to forget that Zayn is missing along with Erica.
"Where's Eleanor?" my voice slurs as I glance around in search for her.
"Oh I don't know." Louis laughs rubbing his head.
"Looks like it's you and me." I groan with a small smile. "Eleanor is missing and my boyfriend took off with Erica." I grumble or possibly Eleanor... I had no idea where Zayn was. All I knew is he'd rather argue with Erica than be with me. Or possibly continue his secrets with Eleanor.
"Well we'll have our own fun." Louis chuckles, pouring us more shots. "Wait I thought Sarah said no more drinks." He holds the two shots glasses in his hands, away from me.
"I did." I hear Sarah as she takes one of the glasses and throws it back with a smile. "I thought you were old enough to be set free in this world Jules but watching you throw back three tequila shots made me very well aware you aren't." She laughs, wrapping her arms around me. I laugh as she pulls me to her.
"What? Are you going to be my mom tonight?" I laugh as I pull away and examine her.
"Of course not." She laughs, taking another shot.
"So we're moving the party over here then?" Niall speaks up. Sarah pulls away from me and wraps her arms around Niall in an instant. I smile at them as they kiss. They were only parted for a minute and they act like it's been years.
"Where are Liam and Danielle?" I ask, feeling face heating from the extra alcohol.
"I think they went for some private time... you know with Liam busy with studying and Danielle with cheering they um... are catching up." Sarah winks at me.
"Ew gross Sare." I laugh even though she's probably right.
"Let's play a drinking game mates." Charles smiles, joining our group at the table with the alcohol. He smiles at all of us as he glances down at the remaining alcohol at the table.
"I'll beat your ass." Louis smiles proudly at Charles. Everything was a game to Louis a game he could always win.
"That means I'll beat you Lou since I beat you at laser tag." I tease, elbowing his side.
"Low blow Augustine, low blow." Louis puts a hand over his chest as if he were wounded by my comment. We both laugh and I shake my head.
"Harry mate, come join us!" Charles calls to Harry. I look to Harry who looks at me for a moment before he looks away, like he had earlier and clears his throat.
"No thanks, I'm headed out." He mumbles.
"Harry-" Charles tries to call him but Harry ignores him as he disappears into the house.
"I'll be right back." I mumble, rushing away from the group and chasing Harry down - once again. I spot him weaving his way through the house towards the door. As I follow I attempt to look for Zayn through the crowd but he's missing still.
"Harry!" I call to him. He stops and turns to me in the main entrance of the house by the stairs. His green eyes neutral, no friendliness in them as he waits for me to reach him.
"Hey Jules, looking for Zayn or..." He glances around.
"I just haven't talked to you in a while." I explain. And you've been avoiding me all night. Harry nods as we both become quiet.
"Fuck you Zayn!" I hear from behind me. I turn around and look up the stairs to where Zayn pulls Erica into his old room. I stare as the door slams shut behind them, my stomach and heart twisting. It was nothing... he wasn't doing anything with her, I know he wasn't... But why do I feel my heart beginning to hurt as I stare at the shut door. I let out a light breath, forcing myself to look away.
I hear another door shut and a gust of cold wind. I turn back to Harry to find no one. Just a crowd of drunken people - granted I was getting drunk but nowhere near the idiots stumbling over their own feet and puking in the vases. I groan as I debate going up to Zayn's old room or going after Harry.
I had told Zayn he didn't have to tell me everything - that included Erica... didn't it? He just pulled her into his room and shut the door. It wasn't to do anything, it was to talk, and if it was just to talk I should leave it alone. I close my eyes, forcing myself to believe that as I rush out the front door.
The cold air hits my body, causing me to shiver as I walk out of the courtyard onto the lawn where I spot Harry walking towards the street.
"Harry!" I call to him causing him to stop. It looks as if he is debating on continuing to walk away or not. After a moment he slowly turns to me with a distasteful look.
"Why have you been avoiding me Harry? I thought everything was okay..." Harry stares at me for a moment and lowers his eyes, shaking his head as he runs a hand through his curly hair.
"We're never going to be okay Jules." He mumbles. "We can't be friends anymore." He states firmly, his green eyes are cold as they stare at me.
"What?" I ask, touching my head. I must have misheard him; I must be more drunk than I thought.
"We can't be friends." He repeats the words I heard earlier slowly and loudly.
"Why not?" I ask with confusion, taking a small step towards him in the front yard. I glance at a group of guys that walk by, stumbling over each other.
"Because." He answers, turning and walking away.
"No Harry. Don't walk away, why!" I call after him as I take another step towards him. He stops in his track shaking his head. "Why can't we be friends?" I demand.
"Because I care about you!" He shouts turning around and staring at me. My mouth drops at the words and my heart starts to race. Not in the way it races when Zayn says words like that to me, in a different way - in a frightful and stressful way, in a way that makes me feel guilty and happy at the same time.
"I care about you so damn much and it kills me! It absolutely kills me Jules - to see you with him. It kills me to know that I wasn't the one to save you from that dick head Derek!" He spits stepping towards me with every sentence. "It kills me to know that Zayn came to that party just for you and saved you when I could have."
I stare at him as he continues to close the distance. I never knew Harry cared so much, not to this degree. The anger and passion flaring in his eyes as he keeps explaining, the alcohol and emotion are enough to make me forget how freezing it is outside.
"It kills me to know that you love him Juliet."
"I don't love him." I shake my head - the only thing I can respond to. I hadn't told anyone I loved them since Matt... Only to my family and Sarah occasionally, but never any one else.
"Bullshit Jules!" Harry shouts with anger as he steps closer. "It kills me to see how he treats you - how he gets to make you cry from his fucked up thoughts and then smile because he simply says he cares about you... it kills me to see how much you love him, how much faith you have in him yet he pulls shit like this with Erica!" He waves his arms to the house, closing the distance so he's only inches from me, his chest heaving.
"And you always forgive him no matter what! You're going to forgive him for this, for ditching you at a party. For going into his old room with his hook up and shutting the door. My best guess is he's getting from her what he can't get from you." Harry growls.
I glance at the house and lower my eyes. He was in his room with Erica... They were just talking... they were, they had to be. Zayn wouldn't do that... the Zayn I've seen lately wouldn't. But the old him - the normal him would... I slowly turn back to Harry. I want to tell him he's wrong, that he doesn't understand Zayn's and mine's relationship, but everything he's been saying is right.
I don't love Zayn... I don't. I do care about him though. I know he's right. I care about him and have such high hopes for him that I will forgive him. I will no matter what...
"It kills me to see him do this to you! To get your hopes up... to tell you he cares and then to ditch you all night for her..." Harry's voice lowers now. "If it were me... if you had just stayed that day at the laser tag arena... if you had just stayed with me... I would forget about Erica, I would never leave your side, I wouldn't tell you what to do, I wouldn't buy a fucking apartment and try to guilt you into moving in."
"He didn't guilt me into moving in, I said no." I respond quietly. Every word Harry is saying is hurting me, it's hurting me to know that he's feeling this way - that I'm causing it. I'm causing the pained look in his eyes and voice.
"He'll get you to move in because you fucking love him Juliet." Harry snarls, his voice raising. "And it kills me because you love him-"
"I don't love him!" I shout at Harry now, my eyes stinging with tears.
Thinking of loving another boy - saying it, hearing it, it breaks my heart because all I think of is how Matt and I said that. How we told each other we loved each other and it wasn't true. How the vows of love were just empty words.
"Fine." He hisses. "Then it kills me to see how much you fucking care about him... He doesn't deserve it Juliet. You give him these opportunities and he acts like it's not a big deal. He still carries on with his womanizing ways... If you gave me an opportunity I would work for it, I wouldn't make you regret it." Harry breathes heavily, his green eyes beginning to shimmer with his angered tears.
I feel my eyes stinging with tears still and lower my eyes to the ground. I let out a light breath as I feel Harry move closer.
I feel his fingers brush along my face and touch my hair - like the first night we met when he did the same thing. That one night seems like years ago... it feels like eons ago, the night I met Zayn - the night my life became a constant struggle of emotion. I shake my head and take a step away from him.
"I guess you're right Harry... I guess we can't be friends anymore." I mumble, the tears beginning to form. I didn't want to lose Harry but I knew it wasn't right to keep him as a friend, I knew it wasn't fair.
"I care so much about you Jules that it hurts... He doesn't deserve it... if you were mine, I would tell you anything you wanted, I wouldn't hide things. If you were mine-" I close my eyes at his words and shake my head,
"Yeah well I'm not yours Harry." I snap. I slowly open them to see Harry who stares at me. There's no more anger or pain in his eyes - only pity.
"Don't call me when he breaks your heart." Harry growls shaking his head while he walks away. I let out a shaky breath as he climbs into his car and disappears down the street.
Zayns POV
"Erica... Juliet is here to stay around and this shit needs to stop." I growl as I slam my bedroom door shut behind us. The room is decently empty, thankfully they didn't give my room to some drunk party frat boy who would trash it.
"You're becoming such a fucking whipped softie!" She hits my arm with anger, turning around and letting out a shriek of anger.
"I'm not whipped." I growl at her. She laughs as she spins around with a challenging look on her face.
"Really? What's with all the making out?" She waves her arms around dramatically.
"I've made out with you at parties." I counter harshly.
"Yeah I was a hook up. Not a fucking clingy ass girlfriend." She snarls at me, folding her arms.
"If you think Juliet's clingy then-" I begin, Juliet was not clingy... she just wanted to know every damn thing about me though.
"I don't think, I know. God!" She breathes out heavily with laughter. "Do you see how much of a girl you're becoming? It's all about Juliet, you don't want to upset her, and you don't want me to hurt her feelings." She mocks in a low tone. "Since when do girls have feelings to you? They're always a means to an end."
"Erica I-"
"And a fucking apartment Zayn? What happens when she moves in? Shit happens, you don't want to show her your past and knowing what kind of girl she is she'll want to know and you two break up? Who are you going to ask to help pick up that fucking mess?" She demands. I glare at Erica as she paces around my old room.
She was right... anytime I have anything close to a relationship it goes to shit and I always end up fucking things up. When that happens Erica cleans it up - she deals with it all while I move on to the next girl.
"This isn't another Stacy thing is it? It's not to just knock Harry or Charles down a few pegs? Mess with their egos?" She demands. My eyes snap up at her and glare, how dare she compare Stacy to Juliet.
"Does it look like I'm fucking playing a game with her?" I growl at Erica.
"I don't know, I wish you were though! Then you could end it soon!" She shouts back. "You know Blake wants to tell Juliet about Stacy. About how you fucked up their relationship." She sighs.
"I didn't even do anything to their relationship! Stacy's just fucking stupid." I shake my head. She was, she really was.
"So if you're so happy in your little 'relationship' why have you spent half the night arguing with me instead of being with Juliet?" She questions, raising an eyebrow. "It's because you don't want to be all love-dovey in public? I know you're only doing it because you know that's what she wants. You're doing everything she wants Zayn and that's not you." Erica states walking towards me.
"Yeah and how would you know?" I snap at her, she gives me a smirk and I know I should have just left it alone. I shouldn't have engaged with her in the kitchen. I should have left it alone.
"You're trying to be Matt for her, you know how much she loves him." I step towards Erica, rage building up in my body from the name she mentions.
"What Zayn?" she challenges. "Tell me it's not true. Tell me you're doing all this loving boyfriend shit because you want to." She stares directly at me.
I wasn't sure why I was doing it. I was doing it because I cared about Juliet. I knew she was used to that kind of affection. I just... Shit it wasn't about Matt. Juliet didn't love Matt still. She didn't.
"I'm going to find Juliet." I growl, walking away from Erica.
"You're going soft Malik... What's next, you're going to get rid of the tattoos and black clothing? Trade it in for some polo's and khakis maybe a few text books?" Erica sneers. I turn to yell at her when a knock comes from the door. Shit, I hope that isn't Juliet.
I open the door to Eleanor who glances at Erica and then me - giving a disappointed look. I don't know what she wants but she looks more than displeased.
"What do you want?" Erica demands.
"I've been looking for you... we have to finish our conversation but I can tell you're busy." She whispers so Erica doesn't hear.
"Eleanor it's not what it-" I try to explain.
"Don't bother Zayn... The only person you have to explain this to is Juliet - who by the way is smashed right now." She whispers. I glance at where Erica waits impatiently.
"We'll talk tomorrow." I shove past Eleanor and rush down the stairs. I begin walking towards the balcony where I knew Juliet would be with the group. I hope more than anything she doesn't ask about Erica or Eleanor. I don't want to explain it all. I won't.
"Did I just win?" I hear her slurred voice come from the living room. I pause and turn towards the living room. Juliet is standing with Sarah, hanging onto her at the ping-pong table.
"I think we lost." Sarah laughs, holding onto Juliet. Great, they were both fucking wasted. I walk into the living room straight towards them. "Oh look who decided to show up." Sarah giggles.
"Shut up." I snap at her. Sarah sticks her tongue out at me but laughs as she attempts to hold up a drunken Juliet. "Where the fuck is Niall?" I demand looking around for any of the group.
"It's girls night now. You ditched Juliet for that slut so... I wasn't about to leave my girl hanging out to dry." Sarah laughs, kissing the side of Juliet's face. Juliet smiles at her and begins to laugh. I grab Juliet, pulling her from Sarah who doesn't object.
"How much have you had to drink?" I demand as she has trouble standing up straight.
"Like it matters. I'll keep my little secret and you can keep yours." She slurs to me. I can smell the alcohol on her breath from here. I glare at Sarah who begins tossing ping-pong balls into the other side of the table's cups.
"Fuck Juliet seriously? You're doing this right now?" I glare at her.
"Why do you care?" She hisses with anger flashing in her eyes. "You've been off with Erica all night." She growls, walking past me. I quickly grab her arm to stop her and she shoves against me. "Get off me!" She snaps.
"Juliet I'm taking you home." I growl, grabbing her arm again.
"I'm having fun here." She protests as I begin to drag her behind me.
"I'm taking you home." I say again.
"I don't want to go!" She snaps at me. I ignore her as I pull her outside into the calmer surrounding. "I'll drive." She barely manages to say as she takes strides to walk in front of me.
"No fucking way." I laugh at her as we walk towards my car.
"You had just as much to drink as I did." She shoots at me. I hardly had one drink for the night and I don't even want to imagine how much Juliet has managed to consume with her drunken best friend by her side.
"There's no way in hell you are driving." I open the passenger door of my car and push her into the seat. Her body flops down into it as she rolls her eyes.
I can feel the anger stirring, the fights we've managed to avoid are slowly starting to build...
~ ~ ~
"This isn't home." She slurs more words at me as I carry her into the apartment. Once we made it into the complex Juliet had lost the ability to stand up on her own.
"I know." I sigh, setting her down onto the couch. She sits up and looks around. "Fuck I really shouldn't have left you alone, you're wasted." I grumble, walking to the kitchen and grabbing a cup of water.
"What is going on between you and Eleanor cause when I asked Louis he-" She says from the living room.
"You asked Louis?" I shout at her as I walk back into the living room where she stands up, gripping the wall for support. She fucking asked Louis? Eleanor would have my head if he starts asking her questions - like the ones Juliet asks me. Her eyes are fired with anger from my shouting though.
"Yes and he has no idea! So what is going on! And tell me why were you with Erica all night!" She demands and I can see the hurt in her eyes. "I know you were in your room with her! So what? You screw her because I won't let you?" She demands with anger in her voice.
"You think that's what I did?" I growl at her, my heart hurting and anger building from the accusation. She thinks I fucked Erica because she didn't want to? I tighten my fists.
"Oh come on Zayn that's who you are! A womanizing frat boy." She snaps at me with anger.
I don't reply as she holds her head trying to focus on the conversation. She's drunk, she doesn't know what she's saying - I try to calm myself but it's not working as she continues.
"Why would you lie to me about liking kids? Why are you still friends with Erica?" She demands.
I clench my jaw, holding back the anger she was causing. I couldn't say something I regret tonight. Then Erica words play in my mind.
You're trying to be Matt for her, you know how much she loves him. I wasn't fucking Matt. I wasn't going to take shit from her that wasn't true. I wasn't going to deal with this. I'm Zayn, I don't do relationships, I don't take shit from anyone, I don't give a fuck if someone thinks I did what they think.
"You know what? Why don't you tell me this first, why are you friends with that fucking asshole who cheated on you?" Her mouth drops and I see all the anger vanish from her eyes.
My statement mixes in the atmosphere of our angered words, adding to the storm...