A month.
Without hearing his voice.
Without hearing my name from his mouth.
A month without seeing him.
Difficult. But definitely not impossible. I was ready for more months but we weren't meant to be this apart.
My mind was at peace.
Until he showed up at my house with his dad one day.
We didn't talk much. Just pretended some study talks, which were necessary , to bluff our parents. They knew were good friends.
KV's mom even knew about our relationship.
He was in my city for some work, his father wanted him to fill up for something (I don't even understand half the things they do..)
Next day my mom dad were out, they had to attend a wedding. They left me and my brothers alone in the house.
I was studying and my younger brother asked for sandwiches.
"Naina, you study, I'll make something for him" and he headed towards the kitchen.
"No it's okay KV, I'll do it. It's no big deal."
"Let him do it Naina. I'm sure He'll make better sandwiches. " and the little one complained.
"Fine." And I went back to my room.
"Can I come in ?" KV knocked the door.
"Yeah." I kept my books aside, hoping we could talk.
"So how's physics?" He asked, awkwardly.
"Same as ever."
"How was your score in the last tests."
"It was fine.. I passed."
"When are your pre boards ?"
"Two months from now.. Yours ?"
"Next month"
"Oh."
"You aren't reading are you."
"No. Mom packed all the books in a huge trunk and kept it in the attic"
"Good "
"What about you?"
"Me neither."
"Okay."
"Are you done with all the forms?"
"Yes.. You?"
"Yeah. Done. "
"Hmm"
"You filled mht---"
"KV..." I interrupted him.
He was blabbering like crazies..
"I'm sorry." Was all he said.
"I'm sorry too."
Tears trickled from my eyes.
We avoided eye contact from each other. We knew we couldn't face each other for what we've done. How we've handled the situation in the worst way possible. By breaking up.
"It's not like that. I normally don't cry. Last time I cried, was with you." I clarified.
"Happy to know that. Me too."
We were sitting quietly for about 5 minutes till he took my hand.
"Naina. I have a million feelings right now but I've got nothing to say. I'm that sorry "
His face was still. He wasn't crying like I was. Obviously. Last time when we were at his place, that was the first and last time I witnessed him crying.
"KV" was all I could say right now.
I slid closer to me holding my hands. Trying to comfort me.
"I've missed you so much" to which I looked at him.
Really ? Did he really miss me ? Was I hearing it right ? Or my mind was making stuff to comfort me.
It was real.
"I'm an asshole I know it. I was wrong. I will never do that again. Never.. Don't hate me Naina. " his voice was so low, I could barely hear. But since I knew what was he saying, I could understand. My hands were in his hands now. We were quite close to each other. Almost leaning.
"Naina, I know I'm immature as fuck and I have a bad temper sometimes, but this ain't any excuse for whatever I did back then. We were wrong. But I should have acted like--"
"Shh shh"
I freed my hands from his, put them on his shoulders and pulled him closer to me, tears still marking maps on my cheeks..his hands gripped my waist. Hugged half of my torso, and I leaned in to kiss him.
I didn't think at all this time. Not even for a single time. I kissed him like I meant it.
My racing thoughts slowed time to a subjective crawl, and whole galaxies were born and died while he kissed me back. This was almost my first kiss. Well I've ruined my first kiss technically but I sure was certain I won't ruin this one.. It's true what they say about first kisses.. It's like touching hundreds of naked live electric wires at the same time, and feeling the current flow in each cell of your body. Like the person is setting fire to the ice inside your body.. The feeling was amazing..
Why would people even want to stop.
If I were a person who had a boyfriend whom I can kiss , I would never ever stop kissing him !! Wait. Do I still have a boyfriend ?
We kissed.
But we're we still together ?
Wow. Awkward Naina. Congrats.
This is the first thing I asked him, breaking the kiss.
To which he have the most beautiful chuckle ever. And kissed me again pushing me back on the bed.
Oh god I loved him so much.
Fuck you Naina. You've wasted a whole month of making out.
I was literally cursing myself and thinking how weird all this is. Well, we havent locked the door and anybody can walk in on us, and ruin our entire lives. We'd probably be sent to ashrams or missionary schools if someone saw us like this. Brown girl problems.
But i couldnt care less. there's a meteor coming? Nuclear attack lined up, need to evacuate? they found cancer cure? aliens are here? WELL i couldnt care less about anything in this world right now.