The next day as my family left, I wasn't as sad. I'd see them by the time my wedding rolled around, but it wasn't completely happy.
My dad told me before he left that He and Louis had decided to stay where they were in the small house. I offered one closer, and more sustainable but he turned it down saying that little town was his home. I nod a little.
I asked Paisley after that.
"Do you know if you're coming here to live?" I ask her. She scrunched up her nose. "Or are you living with dad?"
"I want to live here, Charlie. Do you think dad will let me?" She asks me.
"I'll convince him don't worry." I smile and kiss her head. Tayloe and Henry both decided they wanted to get away from there and will move into the palace.
I was happy for both of them, too. I'd like to build a stronger relationship with both of them.
They were all gone. I headed back to my room with Alex's hand in mine. It was easier now, that there weren't other girls in the picture. I didn't get much sleep last night. I couldn't pull my eyes away from Payton and her newborn. They were on their way back to my old home and then after they gathered their things, they'd leave to their new home. Close to me. Hopefully Rae will grow up seeing me a lot...
Alex has barely left me in a room alone and stays by my side almost all the time. I didn't mind though; he made me feel protected.
When we get into the room he hugs me immediately.
"What's wrong?" I ask him and hug him back.
"I keep remembering suddenly that I can lose you any moment just like I did last time." He whispers.
I didn't know what else to say, I just hugged him tighter.
"Just know that I love you so much. I can't lose you again and I want to spend my entire life alone with you, and only you and I don't think a lifetime is enough to spend with you." The way he said it so close to my ear gave me a longing of a future, of just days alone with him.
There wasn't a right response for it so I just stood on my tip toes and kissed his cheek and held my head in the crease of his neck.
Alex reaches down and picks me up. I wrap my legs around his waist and he buries his head in my hair.
"Alex?" I ask him.
"Yes, love?" He pulls his head out from my hair and in front of my face.
"Do you want kids?" I ask him.
"What do you want?" Alex asks me letting no emotion leave his face. "If we didn't, one of my little brothers could take the throne."
"I don't know that's why I'm asking you." I say laughing.
"Well I wouldn't mind kids, Charlie." He tells me honestly. "But like Payton said I'm not the one carrying the baby for nine months and giving birth. That's a scary thing I would understand not wanting to do."
"Maybe in a few years? More than a few years? It's just scary always having to worry about them..." I'm broken off with a kiss from Alex.
"You don't need to explain, okay?" But I felt the need to. I nod and just hug him again. "Let's sit down." He sits down still holding me and my legs still wrapped around his waist. "I love you and I don't want to make you do anything."
"I love you too." I say. Alex takes my arm from around his neck and hold my hand and kisses each of my fingers.
We sit there just for a minute in silence.
"Can I go to the spot Rae was buried one day?" I ask.
"One day. I promise. I went once during the Selection. I left at breakfast and was back by dinner. I took flowers. Bright ones like the dresses she always wore." I remember those. The ones that always matched her skin complexion.
"Thank you." I blink my eyes shut to hold back the tears.
"Are you tired?" He asks me. I nod. I was exhausted. "Let's take a nap then." He suggests. "Then we can get someone to being lunch up to us."
"That sounds great." I hated when I talked after crying, because I was never sure whether my voice would be stable or shake.
I pull myself away from him and lay down by the pillows. Alex lays down beside of me.
"The family that lived beside me before the Selection was poor like us. The husband abused his wife and raped her a lot." I blurt out of nowhere. "There were a few cases like that with guys who just didn't appreciate and respect the other women in the house. My family was never like that, but I thought it was just something special about us. I didn't know there were guys like you."
"I wouldn't ever hurt you." He whispers to me and pulls the huge quilt over both of us and pulls me to him. He has one hand under my body that pulls me closer to him. His other arm was draped over me protectively and his chin rested on the top of my head.
"Don't let go." I beg him.
"Never in a million years."