Chapter 12
July- Junior
[Liam’s POV]
I sat on the couch of Greg’s house, reading the paper, and it was drop dead silent. Greg and Denise had left the moment after the wedding, about three days ago, and Niall and I saw them off. They looked so happy; so in love.
Niall and I, on the other hand, well things were awkward.
It was very obvious as to why things were the way they were, but I keep trying to reassure Niall that it’s okay, but he’s been mortified. He’s been silent and shut off, but what he doesn’t understand is that what he wants, he has to be sure of it.
I sighed as I folded the paper. I threw it gently on the coffee table and placed my head in my hands. I couldn’t really take Niall being upset over this. He was trying, and I had to go off and ultimately make him look like a fool. This was mainly my fault. If I hadn’t rejected Niall, things wouldn’t be so terribly awkward. We could actually be enjoying our vacation.
I heard the bedroom door open and I looked over to see Niall, who had stuck his head out of the room. I slept on the couch for the past three days because Niall didn’t seem all that entertained of sharing a bed at the moment.
Niall looked over in my direction and his eyes widened with fear. I tried not to sigh with exasperation, so I smiled instead.
“Hey there,” I said as happily as I could.
Niall gave me a little wave. His hair was all tousled up and he finally came scuffling out of his room. My smile became more genuine, until he came up to the coffee table. He wouldn’t come closer.
“Um babe?” I prodded, but he didn’t look at me.
“Can you put on a shirt?” His voice was tiny, but it was quiet enough so I heard it. I looked down at my bare torso and then back at the boy in front of me.
“No.” It was as simple as that as I leaned back into the couch.
“But, can you just- please?” Niall asked as he flexed his hands by his side. He still wasn’t looking me in the eye.
“I will if you look me in the eye.”
“Fine.”
I raised my eyebrows a bit at how easily he gave into my request, but I didn’t object. I grabbed the t-shirt that was lying on the floor next to me, because it had gotten hot so I whipped it off. I slipped it on and looked over at Niall, who was still content staring at the ground.
“It’s on,” I said as I stood from the couch. Niall finally looked up at me and his face was a blank slate.
“Thank you.”
I nodded and rounded to go to the kitchen, until I felt Niall’s hand graze my elbow. I looked over my shoulder to see Niall fidgeting with his hands.
“Can we talk?” Niall asked. His voice a little braver, but I could see he was still nervous as heck. I refrained from smiling, because at this point, it might’ve been a little weird. We sat back down on the couch, and I let Niall lead the discussion, because he was the one that wanted to talk.
“Um, I’m sorry,” he started.
“Niall, it’s nothing you have to be-” But Niall shook his head.
“Yes it is. I shouldn’t have tried to do that. It was stupid of me. You don’t want me like that.”
“Niall,” I said as I reached for his hand. “It’s not that at all. I would love to, but we can’t. Not now anyways.”
“Why?”
“Niall, you haven’t even come out to everyone. I don’t want you to hold everything in and then one day just combust. Besides, let’s take baby steps.”
Niall looked hopeful as he continued. “So we can take it slow you’re saying?”
“Well of course.”
“When?”
I laughed as I patted his hand. “Niall, it’s just a moment. You can’t really force it.”
“Right. So, can we cook breakfast?”
“Of course you want food,” I said as I rolled my eyes.
“I’m hungry!” He whined as he hopped off the couch and ran to the kitchen. I chuckled to myself and as I followed at a much slower pace.
“What’d you want to eat?” I asked as I saw Niall looking in the fridge.
“Food preferably.”
“Aren’t you a comedian,” I said sarcastically as I reached up for the top cupboard.
“I suppose.” His voice had gotten closer, but I hadn’t thought too much of it. Well that was until he pressed himself into my lower, well, very low part of my back.
“N-Niall.”
“Hmmm?”
“What are you doing?” I asked. I felt my heart rate speeding up. I swear he was making it harder to maintain control.
“Taking it slow,” Niall responded as placed a kiss between my shoulder blades. Despite having on a thin t-shirt, it left goose bumps up and down my body. I took a deep breath and gently moved Niall back a step before turning around.
“Now Niall, we are not going to do anything until you’ve had some breakfast,” I said in a stern tone. We both know I didn’t mean it, and well, that wasn’t going to get us anywhere.
“Is it because you want me to have energy?” He asked as he took a step closer. I swallowed again and prepared to take a step back until I realized I was wedged right by the counter so I couldn’t really move.
“No Niall. Because breakfast is the most important meal of the day,” I said simply.
“I can think of something else I could have for breakfast,” Niall said as he wiggled his eyebrows. I spluttered out some sort of sound before recomposing myself.
“Alright, that’s it,” I said as I grabbed his wrist. I heard Niall giggle with glee, but I don’t think we were on the same track right now.
I trudged down the hallway and stopped as Niall’s smile slipped off his face.
“The bathroom?” he asked as we stood in front of the door.
“Yes. The bathroom.”
“Why?”
“You’re going to go in there,” I said as I gently pushed him inside and began to close the door.
“Why?”
I slipped the door closed and silently thanked the sweet Lord above it locked from the outside. “You’re going to control your hormones love.”
I didn’t hear anything for a moment and I thought he was about to start until I jumped when I heard a thud on the door.
“Niall?”
“Let me out of here! I am fine!”
“It’s not a punishment Niall,” I said as I rolled my eyes.
“It is if you’ve never done it before,” Niall whined.
I widened my eyes in surprise. I remember talking about it with the guys, but I didn’t think he was seriously that innocent. I just thought he kind of played off the whole preacher’s son vibe.
“Niall, it isn’t that hard,” I coaxed as I leaned against the door lightly.
“Is that supposed to be funny?”
I snickered as I thought of the pun. “It wasn’t intentional babe. Look, I have faith in ya okay? Just go with instinct. I’ll be back momentarily.”
I pushed myself off of the wall, but not before unlocking the door first. I just wanted to see what Niall would do. I shuffled down the hall and made sure the television on an appropriate volume and went into the kitchen to make a bowl of cereal.
I looked through the cupboards when I realized, Greg didn’t really have any cereal per say. I mean, it made sense he didn’t have my favorite cereal since he was a grown married man. I did like my sweetened cereal.
I settled for getting some fruit out of the fridge and making a tiny fruit salad with some toast. I didn’t want to gain too much weight while I was on break. I cut up some strawberries, bananas, peaches, and mangoes and mixed them in my bowl.
After I had felt satisfied with my creation, I took my toast and mixed fruit and sat on the couch. I flicked on the telly and began to scroll through the channels to find something of interest. I stopped on Family Feud and began to eat my breakfast.
About twenty minutes into the show, as I was munching on a strawberry, Niall came into view. He looked flushed, and oddly content. I had to suppress a snicker as he came and sat on the couch next to me. He snuggled into my chest as I moved my arm to give him a bit more room so he could get comfortable.
“How ya feelin’ babe?” I asked as I held a banana up to his mouth.
“Fine,” he said as he took the piece of banana off of the fork. “Relaxed and stuff.”
“I’m guessing you had a good time?”
Niall turned beet red when I said that. He hid himself in my chest and said, “You didn’t hear me, did you?”
“Not a peep,” I said in all honesty. “Why?” I was genuinely curious as to what Niall was so embarrassed about. I mean, most guys masturbate daily. He wasn’t weird or anything for doing it.
“Just cause, I mean, I didn’t want to make a lot of noise.”
“Ah, okay.”
We sat in silence, watching the people mess up or make crude jokes on the show before I felt Niall poke my cheek.
“Hmm?” I hummed. I wasn’t surprised or anything. I’ve gotten accustomed to his slightly strange antics. Actually, I really enjoyed them. It was different than most of the guys I’ve dated.
“What are we going to do today?”
“Well, what would you like to do? I mean we can go out or we can just stay in all day or find something interesting to do.”
Niall went quiet for a few moments as he thought and then a smile flickered up on his features. It wasn’t a happy smile, but rather a sly smile. I didn’t like that one bit.
“Let’s go to a sex shop,” he said blatantly.
I spluttered as I looked down at him. He was completely serious and I knew we were going to a sex shop.
I tried everything to change his mind as Niall bounded off the couch and into our room. I wish it was easy to change his mind, but he was stubborn. I understood that, but a sex shop? I mean the kid just learned how to masturbate today.
I banged my head against the back seat of the Greg’s car as Niall plugged in the coordinates. I mean, he seemed happy and who was I to take that away from him? Oh yes, his better half. His better, not horny all the freaking time, half.
Niall pulled into the parking lot less than ten minutes later and I looked at the big sign that said ‘Swallow Your Gold’ as it had a naked lady with four leaf clovers covering her special areas. I sighed as I unbuckled my seatbelt. I know I say I love Niall, but God forbid I didn’t realize we were going to be sex store shopping.
I held the door open for Niall then followed right behind him. There was a petite woman at the counter who smiled when she saw the both of us.
“Good afternoon gentlemen! Is there anything I can help you find?” She asked as she eyed both of us up and down.
“No just looking Miss. Thank you though,” I said politely as I took Niall’s hand and led him through the store.
We passed so many things that I would hope Niall would never encounter. Niall wanted to stop and look at everything, but I just wanted to get him to the cleanest part of the store. I realized that was actually quite difficult in a sex shop.
“No one can actually fit this anywhere right?”
I turned around at Niall’s question and saw he was holding up an enormous dildo and I could contain my giggles. The thing was one of those toys that you’d have to be insane to buy. I mean, I bet there were some people that did buy them, but seeing Niall hold one of those was just too cute.
“It’s a preference babe,” I said as he placed it back in its original position. “So what exactly are we doing here?”
“To get some lube,” he said as he ventured over to the wall of condoms and lube and other little accessories.
“Niall,” I said in a warning tone, but he just gave me a condescending look.
“Calm down Liam. Besides, I didn’t say I was going to use it for you, jeez.”
“Wait what?”
“You can use lube on yourself.”
“How do you know that?”
“I did my research after I fixed my problems,” he said as he looked through the choices he had. I smiled at how interested Niall had become in this lifestyle. Back in August, he would’ve been repulsed if I had told him that he would be looking for lube in a sex shop.
“Well alright then.”
“Liam?” Niall asked as he now looked into the condom selections.
“Yeah?” I was scrolling through my phone, debating on texting the guys. I mean we had promise to have a Skype call with Louis and Harry next week. Zayn and Perrie Skyped us yesterday and they seemed to be doing well.
“How come you won’t do it with me?”
The sheer bluntness of the question caught me off guard, but it wasn’t anything too out of the ordinary for today I suppose.
“Niall, didn’t we just talk about that this morning?”
“Yes.”
“Then why ask again?” I sighed as I shoved my phone in my pocket and crossed my arms over my chest. Niall continued to face the condoms and not me, which I thought it’d be more comforting to look at me, but I guess not.
“I just, I dunno, I just feel like at this rate you don’t find me sexual at all,” he said with a shrug.
I clamped my mouth shut. I didn’t say anything. Instead I looked down on the floor and I heard Niall sigh. I couldn’t say what I wanted here. I could wait. Niall picked up some condoms and lube, which I still wondered why if he knew we weren’t going to do it and began to walk by me.
“It’s just for the future I suppose,” Niall said with a shrug and made his way to the counter.
I still hadn’t said anything as we walked out of the store and made our journey home. I don’t think Niall understood how much I needed him. I guess I was being selfish that I wouldn’t really do anything with him. Maybe I was really trying too hard to preserve Niall. He wasn’t a child. He was close to being an adult.
We got back to Greg’s and Niall made his way to the front door before me and unlocked the door. I took this moment to side step him and enter the house first. Niall closed the door behind him and turned into my chest.
“Um, are you gonna move?” Niall asked hesitantly.
“Nope.” I said slowly.
“Oh?”
I had Niall pinned against the door and myself as I dipped down and kissed him. I felt him groan into the kiss which meant I was doing something right. When I broke free Niall looked satisfied, but confused.
“What brought this on?” He asked as I moved down the base of his neck.
“To show you I do want you,” mumbled against his skin.
Niall squirmed as I bit his neck gingerly. Well this was a pleasant surprise.
“Come on,” I said as I pulled his hand and led him to the bedroom.
Well, I think I’m starting to get why there is a song called Afternoon Delight.
[Louis’ POV]
“Good job Tomlinson! Keep it up and you might be starting the game!” Coach Frio yelled at me from across the field.
I was drenched in sweat and my body was screaming in pain, but hell I felt great. My teammates were cool and they were helpful. It was a real family here, but I hadn’t told any of them I was gay. I thought I’d save that for a different day.
“Alright fellas, I’ll see you here tomorrow!”
I gave an inward cheer as I ran off to the showers and washed off. I was in a hurry because Harry was coming today. I was excited because Skype calls just weren’t enough. I missed him dearly, and I know he missed me as well. Considering he leaves me voicemails that are fifteen minutes long just telling me what he did while I was at practice. Sometimes he literally sleeps the day away, but he’ll tell me tidbits about what he dreamt about or what he thought about or things he is just curious about. It was absolutely adorable.
“Where are you off to so fast?” One of my teammates, Scott asked, as he stripped out of his uniform. I was already half dressed, but just looking for my shirt.
“I have to pick up someone from the airport,” I said as the boys all looked at each other and wolf whistled.
“Alright, so we’re finally going to see your ‘special’ friend, right Tommo?” Isaac, our goalie, asked as he wiggled his eyebrows.
“Oh shut it,” I said as I slipped on my shirt.
“Man, we all know that dude you talk to everyday on the phone is coming here,” Derek, our captain, said plainly. He had a smile on his face as my jaw slightly dropped on the floor.
“B-B-But how?” I asked flabbergasted at the fact they had known.
“No one is that happy talking to a bro, so we kinda guessed he was your partner,” Derek said with a shrug. “We have no problem with it. Bring him by practice tomorrow! We’d love to meet him.”
“Alright, yeah, I can do that,” I said with a smile. This was the reason I loved my teammates. Not all of us were from Spain, so we didn’t really understand one another and our backgrounds at first. For example, Derek and Scott are both from America, and Isaac is from Scotland. We were all a bit different, but they were understanding and very brotherly. They were a great group of mates.
“Great! We’ll see ya tomorrow bro,” Scott said as I picked up my bag and said goodbye to my teammates. I headed out to the parking lot and hopped into my new Ferrari. It was a present from the managers when I signed to the team. I was shocked at all the stuff they gave me. I mean, I loved it all, but I was so afraid of what would happen if I lost it all.
The season starts in September, and I know I can start in the game, but if I mess up, I will be ashamed. I might as well pack up and head home. I try not to think too much about that when I am out on the field. It would get into my head too much, and I couldn’t afford that. All I could do is put a hundred percent on the field.
I began to drive towards the airport and the drive seemed longer than it actually was. I knew I was just antsy to see Harry. It had been a month and I don’t know I’d be able to make it a full year without him. It was going to be hard, but at least he could focus on his studies and whatnot. Maybe spend a bit more time with friends. That would be nice.
I pulled up to the arriving flight lane and that’s when I saw him. I hopped out of the car and noticed that, surprisingly, he looked a bit different. It looked as though he had gotten a bit taller, like I needed that, and he had styled his hair to be a bit different instead of a mop of curls. It looked more windswept and he had a plain t-shirt and skinny jeans. He looked flawless as usual.
“Lou!” He said as he embraced me into a hug. I hugged him back tightly. I missed his smell and his embrace. I didn’t realize how much I longed for it until I had him. He pulled back from me and looked at me for a very uncomfortable period of time.
“Um, hi?” I said awkwardly as he continued to look at me.
“You look different,” he said plainly.
“Not really,” I shrugged. I did get a bit more golden and maybe shed a few pounds, but I looked the same for the most part. “You’re the one who’s changed! Look at you and all of this style Mr. Styles!”
Harry laughed and smacked me playfully on the arm. I helped him get his stuff into the trunk of my car and Harry looked shocked as he looked at the car.
“Who did you rob?” Harry asked as we hopped into my car.
“Oh hush,” I said as I pulled into the main flow of traffic so we could get on our way. “It was a present from the team owners and stuff.”
“What else did you get then?”
“A house, this car, and a decent salary.”
“So the necessities of living,” Harry pointed out.
“Pretty much,” I said. He was right. I didn’t want to tell Harry the actual amount of my salary or he might think I’ll get a big head, but to be honest, I just keep putting money in the bank or sending it home to help my mum get the girls stuff. I did send a good heap of money to the Payne family for letting me stay with them for so long. They truly were wonderful people.
“Well look at my Boo Bear just making his way into the world,” Harry said as he patted the top of my head.
“Well, I have you by my side so it’s not hard at all,” I said as I took his hand in my own hand while I kept the other on the wheel.
“Well I see Spain has made you very cheesy.”
“I see the London cold has made your heart cold.”
“The cold never bothered me anyways,” Harry said. I couldn’t help but laugh at his silliness. I missed this. I mean, I had my teammates and they were great, but Harry was something else. He was just so special to me.
I pulled into my driveway and hopped out of the car so I could get Harry’s luggage. He had brought quite a bit for a two week stay, but I wasn’t complaining. I liked that he was staying with me for an extended period of time.
“This is your house?” Harry asked in awe as I came up next to him.
“Yep,” I said as I stared with him. It was a three bedroom house and I kept telling them I didn’t need something this big, but they insisted. Apparently it wasn’t ‘that’ much. I was just one person, so I was grateful the place was fully furnished when I moved in.
“Jeez Lou,” he said as I began to trudge up the driveway. He followed in suit and looked around as though he had just been given sight.
“I know, it’s a bit ridiculous,” I said as I fished my keys from my pocket. “Look, I promise I’m still the same. I just have stuff, and I didn’t even ask for it.”
“I believe you.”
“But you should know, I can always just sell it and move somewhere cheaper because I don’t want to come off as a douchebag or something.”
“Lou.”
“No, you know what it’s okay!” I said as I swung the door open and placed Harry’s stuff on the floor. “Maybe I can break my leg or something and then-”
“Louis!”
“Jeez, what is it Harry?”
“You’re fine. This place is wonderful. You are great. It’ll all be okay,” Harry said as he rubbed my arms and placed a tender kiss on my forehead.
I sighed and nodded much to Harry’s delight. He let go of me and I saw him hop on my couch and began to bounce up and down. I wanted to tell him to get off my couch, but I didn’t have the heart to do so. He looked so happy being a kid.
“Your couch is quite bouncy Lou,” Harry said as I walked closer to his play area.
“It’s alright I suppose.”
“How’s your bed?” Harry asked as he wiggled his eyebrows.
I felt myself pull a mischievous grin as I retorted, “Well why don’t we go and find out?”
~
The next day, after I had gotten Harry all situated and what not, we went to the pitch for my morning practice. He was particularly cozy in my bed, so getting him up was naturally a pain in the butt. It took a lot of sweet nothings and the promise of coffee to get him remotely moving.
We headed to the pitch, and I listened to Harry’s soft snores. I appreciated the fact he even got up and came with me. Last night he seemed more gun-ho about it, until I told him I had to be there for 6:30 in the morning. That always gets someone a bit down.
I pulled into the parking lot and shook Harry’s arm a little.
“I don’t want to get the baby,” Harry mumbled as he turned over.
“Um, Haz, there is no baby,” I said with a smile on my lips.
His emerald eyes snapped open and he looked over to me, slightly mortified.
“Good morning sleeping beauty,” I said as I ruffled his hair a bit. He scowled at me a second until he stuck his tongue out. I laughed and hopped out of the car. I went to the back seat to get my duffle.
“How do you do this?” Harry asked as he clambered out of the car and stretched his limbs.
“What?”
“Get up this early every day.”
“It’s only Sunday through Friday.”
“That’s too many days for me,” Harry said as we began to walk towards the pitch.
I laughed as we got in the gate and that’s when I saw Derek stretching. He looked over at me and smiled at us. I gave him a tiny wave, because I was still uncertain about what people would do. I mean, I wasn’t coming out to the public, but rather my team already knew.
“Well this must be your special friend!” Derek said as He high-fived me good morning.
“Harry, this is Derek, Derek this is Harry,” I introduced. Harry stared at the chiseled man in front of us and I wanted to smack him. Yes, Derek looked like a God, but really Styles?
“Nice to meet you Harry,” Derek said as he stuck his hand out formally. Harry shook it and attempted to speak.
“Meet nice as you well,” Harry blabbered. Derek laughed loudly and I couldn’t help but snicker as well.
“I think he meant nice to meet you as well,” I said as I rubbed Harry’s back.
“Yeah, that’s it,” Harry said as he rubbed his hand awkwardly on the back of his neck.
“It’s alright champ,” Derek said reassuringly. “You gonna stay for the practice?”
“Yeah! I mean, if I’m allowed,” Harry said looking between Derek and I.
“I’m down as long as Tommo is down,” Derek said. He smiled and went back to his stretching.
“Wow,” Harry said as I pecked him on the cheek.
“Yeah, that’s Derek for ya. Now go and get comfy!” I said as I swatted him to the benches.
I watched as Harry scurried away and my teammates had to swat me on the back of the head to get my attention. What can I say?
That boy’s got me going crazy.
[Niall’s POV]
I was sitting up in bed as Liam slept soundly next to me. I gently placed my hand on his cheek and he just leaned into it a bit. I smiled with joy as I realized how lucky I was to have him. I mean, we had been ‘exploring’ the past week or so, and honestly, it had been indescribable. We haven’t actually done the deed, but we’ve been exploring. I know Liam said we should take it slow, so I respected that. I know he just wanted to prove to me he loved me and I simply adored that.
I carefully slipped out of bed and made my way into the adjoining bathroom. I closed the door and flicked on the lights. I looked funny. My hair was sticking up and my pants were hung low, but I guess Liam liked that. I looked down at my wrists and the permanent white scars that had been put there by me. Sometimes I wanted to cry when I saw them while others I wanted to smile. They showed me how far I’ve gotten whereas they reminded me of where I’ve been.
“Ni?”
I looked over to see a sleepy looking Liam rubbing his eyes and squinting because of the bright light.
“It’s 4 in the morning. What are you doing up?” Liam said as he came up from behind and rested his chin on my shoulder.
“Couldn’t sleep I guess,” I said nonchalantly. I looked at the two of us in the mirror. We kind of fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. Liam was kind of misunderstood whereas I was just close minded. He was open to everyone and I was so blunt everyone understood me. We were opposites, but it worked.
“Come back to bed,” Liam said as he kissed the area between my shoulder blades.
“I’ll be there in a second.” Liam grunted and pecked the top of my head and shuffled back to bed. I looked myself in the mirror once again and realized how far I’ve come.
I never want to go back again.
A/N: Yeah, I dunno why it's rated R now (probs the sex shop stuff) but I apologize! If anything, I might post this chapter somewhere where it's easier for everyong to read!!! :)
Stinkin WattyPad ._.
But I hope you lovely folks are having a wonderful time! I appreciate all the feedback!! :)
-Ariel x