De'kay
"Regina I said stop it please I'm trying to work here!" I snapped, shes been acting really out of place this past months. I don't know what her problem is, she huffed" go play or something or better yet go sleep please Gina " I begged, Quincy went out with Q and the boys are with their father, Gina didn't wanna go with Q for some reason I don't know, it's a Saturday and I'm busy handling my files here putting them in order butcher I can't seem to get them in order coz of Gina, Mika is 6 months pregnant now going on 7, she doesn't wanna know the gender of the baby I don't know why. Jas really did marry Bic or who ever his name is, his not bad looking but his old for my liking 20 years difference is bad and my mom is just not with it but she doesn't wanna push Jas away again...as for my sister Jay she told me she's thinking of moving down here again so that King yeah I know his name...King gotta get involved with his cousins see my point I don't know how she's gon handle Terell being with Morgan and stuff, speaking of Morgan hell the day I see Brendan is the day on gon go to Jail for killing his ass, I still don't wanna believe that Lay been in an abusive relationship and never bothered to confine in me...I sighed then looked at my cry baby girl " tell me what's wrong baby? I'm trying to work here and you disturbing me " I pleaded " you never spend time with me, no one wants to spend time with me, everybody hates me...you don't love me no more " she cried -screaming I gasped " come here bab-"." NO! ....everyone is mean to me, I don't want to live anymore I hate you!" well that took me by surprise, she ran off upstairs making me run after her, im trying not to breakdown right now, why would she think that?." Gina baby open this door please let mommy talk to you " I pleaded I'm fighting back my tears at this point coz I can hear her crying on the other side I sighed then decided to go call Q
***phone convo***
Q : hey wh-
Me: please come back home, Gina is acting up again (sniffing) I really don't know why she's feeling like this please come back
Q : what happened?
Me: she's (sigh), she locked herself in her room right now, she says everyone hates her and that everyone is being mean to her I'm starting to think I'm neglecting my own child, Q I don't want her feeling like she's not wanted like I grew up thinking...it's not the best feeling ever (crying)
Q : okay okay im on my way back keep calm and keep trying to talk to her
Me : (sniffing) okay i'll keep trying just get here quick.
***end of phone convo ****
I sighed heavily then went back to talk to her by her door, sadly she's still crying " Gina baby please open this door please you breaking my heart baby " I cried, I was beginning to give up trying to get her to open the door coz I'm getting weaker hearing her cry like that, she finally opened up I did what my motherly instinct told me to do to just hug her tightly, it's not hidden that Regina is like me everywhere inside and out...she has her own insecurities I try to not let her dwell too much on them so that she don't turn out like me big and feel ugly " I'm so sorry baby, I didn't know you felt like this...but why do you feel like I don't love you no more?"i asked once she calmed down,she laid her head on my shoulder " I just feel like everyone cares more about all the boys except for me,im always alone, Kam and Rein get to go out more with Quincy than with me, they don't like me..they always mean to me, when I talk to you, you shout at me then dad never talk to me besides ask about my school work it sucks mommy I want to be loved too. but you hate me" she whined more like a frustrated whining that is but I understand how she feels coz I been in that situation before " babay hear mommy out okay, I love you with every inch of me okay, daddy loves you too...the boys don't spend time with you more because you snap at them and they feel like you just want your space okay? don't say we don't love you no more because we all do alright? " I questioned, she nodded" I'm sorry for shouting at you baby - are you okay now?" I asked, she nodded" I love you now try sleeping on me even though you heavy on me" I joked, she laughed " I love you too" I kissed her cheek then laid my head on her head " my beautiful baby - we love you" I cooed I love all my kids now that Gina acted out I'm starting to think maybe the twins and Quincy have their own little theory too I better talk to all of them one by one
Since Gina didn't wanna sleep no more I just let her help with them files so that I can really spend time with her,Q texted me saying they stuck on traffic they might even go see mika so it's just me and my baby girl now, shes messing up my hair but anything to make her feel loved and wanted...im gon try my best to not do her like that anymore " mom fan I ask you a question? " Gina asked making nod my head" well why don't I have two dads like my brothers? " I had to choke on my own saliva " w-what kind of question is that?" I asked sitting up right, she shrugged " I mean Kam and Rein have two dads but me and quincy just have one dad it's just confusing " she shrugged " uhm - well baby girl don't you wanna visit aunt T for a minute? Taylor is around " I asked She nodded " okay go change up then come back" I said " okay but you still going to answer me " she yelled all the way up,i laughed damn I wish these kids could have just stayed up being at the age of 3 seriously them damn questions is too much, I got my stuff ready to leave while texting T
To T: I really hope you at home, im coming over with Gina
From T : I was just about to come to your place girl Taylor be asking me some weirdest questions you probably gon help me, so I'm coming over!!!!
To T: aight talk when you get here.
I sighed what's wrong with these kids though " G baby we no longer going, your aunty is coming over with Tay and
Kandi" I yelled, she said okay.we fixed some to eat since it's just me and her around the house, my other kids really don't like sitting alone with just me in the house so I figured Gina don't but I guess I was wrong Half and hour later T came with all her baby girls to my house talking about Devon and Q taking the boys some where idk we was just chilling as ladies trying our best to avoid the 'sex talk' for now though, it's so much fun having boys than girls really to avoid such talks *sigh*.
T came hours ago and left like 30 minutes ago after eating ofcourse, the twins are coming back tomorrow after church gotta teach these kids to go to church every Sunday, Q isn't back yet...Gina is finally asleep coz it's after 10, im laying on my stomach but it feels really uncomfortable sleeping on my stomach so I decided to just lay on my back and just watch some cartoons cause I'm not feeling too okay, im tired, irritated at the fact that I can't sleep on my stomach I miss my lil Q. Lay is asleep as well as Malaysia as much as I love having my baby sis here I have to let her go have her own space again even though it means letting her get her own place, and talking to Brendan again I'm just not okay with it because she's really being Naive about the situation. I sighed just thinking about it.i saw some light coming in my room meaning both my Q's are back" hey baby how was your day? " I asked lil Q coz he first acknowledged me " not bad,i saw aunt Mika she said she has a baby in her belly is that true? " he asked making me nod" it's true -"." I see how it is in here I'm not being recognized huh?" I looked at big Q" hey hubby, I was coming to you, wanted to give my baby some attention before going to put him to sleep" I said he nodded as I got up to take Lil Q to his room. I can't just come up with a name for my baby that's short because I like calling him baby...or lil Q, im just so used to it. after getting him to sleep I went back to my room and Q was in bed already. I tried sleeping on my stomach again but damn that shit is uncomfortable " you okay?" Q asked making me nod" yeah just feeling uncomfortable " I said sitting up straight damn " I think it's the period pains none serious " I said and he nodded. I looked at him hard his just not been himself " I was thinking that we have another baby?" I suggested, what I'm lonely, he choked " are you okay? It ain't none serious I'm just asking but fo'real though I want a baby" I said being serious. He looked at me hard then shook his head" whatchu want a baby for? You're hardly at home and we not there yet Meagan" he stresses out,i rolled my eyes" why you gotta go there? Look I'm lonely here okay all the kids are occupied with stuff, Gina is gon grow up soon and leave me alone you just don't get how frustrating it i-"." Quincy is still 5 -".why he gotta kill my joy though" lil Q is always with you or at school, just say you don't want any more kids and stop beating around the bish about it it's fine " I said getting way deeper into my covers, I want a baby what's wrong with that though? Nothing " you keep tripping every night man, I'm gon get me some pain killers you're a headache " he said I guess his getting out " whatever " I mumbled I wanna cry coz Q don't want no more kids with me coz he thinks I'm a bad mother...maybe I am none my kids like spending time with me though and it sucks. I felt a phone vibrate and all my phones are on loud so I got up to check if it's Q's phone or not, I looked at it and Kesha the old baby mama is calling him, why she calling him at this time of the night...I let it go to voice mail.she sent a message.
Kesha: I was calling to know if we still on for tomorrow? And where we should meet up.
I looked at it long and hard debating if I should reply or not but I wanna know what they on about, yes I don't trust Q seriously with her I really don't.
To Kesha: wifey is still up, meet me at industrial grill restaurant at 12:00 am
From Kesha: okay don't stand me up again this time,we really gotta get through with this before it's too late
I didn't reply and decided to delete everything from her,im starting to be really insecure with Q but who can blame me though, now I'm more suspicious than I was dang can't tomorrow come quick..and I'm going to work but I'll make a plan gotta get to the bottom of this.
Jasmine
It's good to be married again really and right now I gotta say that Bic knows how to treat a woman believe me hey believe me. I'm just glad my kids are able to get whatever they desire, a father figure in their lives but I'm scared that once I get pregnant his gon put all his focus on the baby than my kids while I'm gon expect him to look after my kids. * sigh* right now I'm laying on our bed just thinking about the future what the outcomes of the pregnancy gon do to me coz Bic stays out all night because of the kinda job he does, and he gotta come clean coz his surrounded by them bitches I used to work with and they don't smell nice at all man what did I get myself into? Really what?
***** excuse the mistakes ****
I'm loving my story with its mistakes and coz it's confusing a lot for some people.