You lay in the bed of your room in the new dorm for a while. As tired as you were, you still couldn't fall asleep.
Witnessing the other members find out about Jungkook still made your heart feel heavy.
As soon as Jin and Taehyung had taken Jungkook's body to the infirmary, Yoongi and Hoseok had stormed in.
Taehyung just couldn't repeat the whole story again, so you tried explaining what had happened yourself.
The news about Jugkook had shaken them so much, that they didn't even ask about yourself and what had happened with Jimin.
However, you also guessed that after hearing the story, the others weren't even interested to hear about Jimin anymore. They probably didn't want him back and hated him from the bottom of their hearts now.
It made you even more depressed knowing that things were going to seriously change from now on.
The person who you felt most sorry for was Taehyung.
It was only natural that he blamed himself for everything and didn't even want to look anyone in the eyes.
You decided it would be best to leave him by himself for the beginning, but since you couldn't sleep anymore - and you guessed he couldn't either - you wanted to try and go over to his room.
Jin was in the infirmary, Namjoon was gone for some reason, Yoongi and Hoseok were still at the dining table and were talking silently.
You made your way to Taehyung's and Jungkook's room.
It must have been really hard being there next to the empty bed of his friend.
You knocked softly to not wake him up, just in case.
"Tae?", you whispered through the door.
The door was opened abruptly and you were pulled inside, not even wasting a second. Then it was closed immediately.
Your eyes needed time to adjust to the pitch blackness of the room, but you heard someone move to your right.
"Tae are you okay?", you asked into the emptiness.
Soon, you could fixate a silhouette sitting on one of the two beds in the room.
"What do you think Y/N?", he asked sarcastically.
His voice was hoarse and raspy, probably from all the yelling and crying he had been through.
You went over to sit next to him.
"Can you at least open the window in here?", you asked.
He didn't give an answer. You hadn't really thought about how to talk to him. It was all a huge throwback to when the situation had been reversed.
He had been there for you when Jimin had died, so you needed to be there for him now.
"Tae...don't blame yourself for this. Please", you whispered.
He moved uncomfrotably.
"Not blame myself? I'm the one who brought him with me so I'm the one responsible. I should have said no to him when he asked."
The way this was going, you were never going to make it any better.
"I just couldn't believe what was happening. He jumped in and pushed me away... Why would he do that?"
He was fighting against tears.
Taehyung didn't want to let out his emotions again, but didn't really mind if it was you.
"Because that's just the way our Kookie is", you smiled weakly even though he couldn't see it.
You refrained yourself from using was to not rub it in even more that he was gone.
"He's always willing to do everything he can to help."
Taehyung seemed to have remembered something and gave out a little cough which was supposed to be a laugh.
"I remember when we first recruited him. He was so desperate to join, it was almost funny that he was excited about joining assassins."
You recalled it yourself, being actually involved in the whole initiation ceremony made you feel even more connected.
Especially the fact that it was you and Taehyung who had to do with Jungkook joining at all.
"Do you think it would have turned out differently if we had just said no that day?", Taehyung read your mind.
"When he asked if he could have lunch with us?"
You thought about it carefully.
Of course it would have turned out differently, but you couldn't decide if it was a good thing or not.
"Don't think about the past, Tae. We can't change anything now", you just stated.
"I wish we hadn't gotten him involved in all of this. He wouldn't be dead now...", Taehyung cried.
"Well then you would have been dead now", you pointed out.
"I don't care about that. My life isn't worth much", he mumbled.
You got frustrated because of him again. The memory of his dark past always made you shiver, but you couldn't just place why he still thought of himself as worthless after all this time.
"Don't say that, we need you."
He scoffed.
"I'm sorry Y/N, but I'm retiring for a while... I don't know if I can do this again."
Your eyes widened.
"What??! Come on! Tae, this is the time we need you the most. How are we supposed to bring Jimin ba-"
You then rembered that Taehyung would probably hate Jimin from the depth of his heart now and stopped yourself.
"I mean... How are we supposed to take care of the thing with Jimin now?"
"I'm not going up against him again."
That surprised you.
Jimin had said that Taehyung would eventually come back for revenge. It was more of a dare or challenge and you did expect for it to happen.
"Revenge isn't everything. I just don't want anyone else dying because of me."
He was suddenly so calm-minded.
"I'm really sorry Y/N. But it looks like you can forget about bringing Jimin back", he sighed, knowing how you felt.
"Yeah", you muttered.
The way it seemed, you would probably be out to kill him the next time you saw him.
Then, you rembered that Taehyung had come to get you in the first place.
"Thank you for bringing me back home", you whispered.
He looked at you with glassy eyes. You could only see them glistening in the weak light coming from underneath the door.
"I'm sorry", he just blurted out, gripping your hands firmly.
"F-for what?"
This was getting even worse.
Taehyung was the strongest person you knew, and yet here he was, crying all alone in his room.
He was broken.
He mumbled and stuttered a little before telling you.
"I kept a secret from you all this time. It's the reason why Jimin hates me so much more than the others."
You fell silent. Was this finally the time you would find out? Jimin had avoided telling you so many times why exactly he was so lustful for revenge.
What kind of revenge even? You thought it was because he got left behind.
Taehyung deeply breathed before finally telling you what he had kept hidden from everyone apart from Namjoon for the past 2 years.
It was so unbelievably hard telling you, but he just had to.
He owed you that much and felt guilty and angry at himself for never having the courage to tell you.
Now was the time.
---
Flashback
This was the hardest mission you had ever had. There was no way it was only ranked "B", you must have been tricked.
Taehyung gasped upon noticing that you had all been separated and he was standing alone with Namjoon and Jimin.
"Crap!", Jimin yelled.
Taehyung knew very well that he was mostly worried about you although his own problems were just as big.
"Suga, what's going on?", Namjoon asked into the earpiece as he was the most reliable member to speak to at the time.
The others weren't answering, which wasn't surprising. You were being chased by the enemy and had no time to talk.
Namjoon, Jimin and Taehyung had managed to find a hiding spot just in time, but got separated from you and the rest of the members.
"Jimin, don't worry so much", Taehyung tried to calm him.
Jimin didn't listen and started pacing across the room.
"If something happens to her..."
Taehyung found himself getting a little hurt by his friend's words.
He was worrying about you just as much as Jimin... But he didn't want to say anything.
You belonged to Jimin, no one else. It would have been weird for him to express his worry for you in front of your boyfriend.
Namjoon suddenly flinched, causing Taehyung and Jimin to both give him attention.
"Someone is coming", Namjoon whispered.
Taehyung felt his heart beat quickly. They were only 3 people. He himself was relatively new to the group and Namjoon was more specialized in sniping than in close combat.
Would they be able to defend themselves?
A sudden shot and a painful gasp from Jimin made Taehyng's eyes widen in shock.
Namjoon's reactions were quicker as he pulled Jimin behind a brick wall for protection. Taehyung followed and managed to not get hit by a single bullet which were being fired at them out of the dark.
Dark red blood was dripping from Jimin's leg that had been shot. Taehyung felt so helpless looking at his shaky arms.
His friend was shot and he was the only skilled, experienced shooter among them.
They were all going to die now.
"Taehyung!!!", Namjoon made him return to reality.
Namjoon was already peeking behind the wall and fired several shots towards the non-visible enemy.
He nodded hastily to come and help him.
Jimin was sitting in a corner, trying to wrap his belt around his thigh to reduce the blood flow in his bleeding leg.
Thankfully, he seemed to endure the pain well.
Taehyung positioned himself at the other side of the wall and tried to shoot as many people as possible.
He had done it before,so it wasn't as new to him.
"Namjoon-hyung, let me help", Jimin yelled and tried to get up, but ended up collapsing on the cold floor again.
It was then that he had noticed - he couldn't walk with that leg.
He panicked internally. If he couldn't walk anymore, how would they escape?
Namjoon shot the last enemy on his side of the wall and went over to help Taehyung who was still struggling.
His shooting skills still had a while to go.
"Go and help Jimin", Namjoon ordered and Taehyung listened.
"I can't walk", Jimin breathed. He himself was in shock, knowing that it was a big problem for their escape.
Taehyung's eyes widened.
There were definitely more enemies lurking and they still hadn't finished the mission. If Jimin couldn't move, than that put them all in danger.
Namjoon joined them after finishing on his side. He was more skilled with guns than Taehyung had thought.
"What now?", Taehyung wanted to know.
Namjoon's expression was blank after hearing that Jimin couldn't move.
"We'll retreat, that's for sure."
There was something scary written on his face, that neither Jimin nor Taehyung could decypher.
In that moment, he finally managed to connect to the others by earpiece and found out that they were on their way. He didn't mention the shooting just now.
"We can't stay here. More enemies will come soon", Namjoon explained.
"What about Jimin?", Taehyung whined.
Namjoon fell silent at the hopeful looks the younger members gave him.
"If you can't walk... I don't know if we'll make it in time."
Jimin gasped and Taehyung's face fell blank. The possibility of leaving Jimin occured to him, but seemed so wrong and foul that he mentally slapped himself for even thinking about something like that.
Then suddenly, your face popped into his mind.
He imagined you crying about Jimin's wound and helping him walk back to the van... and getting shot because he slowed you down.
Taehyung didn't want that to happen. He couldn't risk anyone dying because Jimin's leg held you back.
"He'll slow us down if we carry him", Taehyung spoke, surprising both Jimin and Namjoon.
"What are you saying?", Jimin snapped at him in worry.
The thought of being left behind had also haunted his own mind, but didn't expect Taehyung to actually come up with it.
Taehyung held back his frustration.
"If we try and get you to the van, we'll get shot on the way there. It's too dangerous."
Namjoon saw that he was right. The least that he wanted was leaving someone behind, but it seemed the most reasonable thing to do at the moment.
They didn't have time to come up with a plan and he knew that more enemies were on their way, chasing the other group.
Namjoon pulled Taehyung aside so they were out of Jimin's earshot.
"Are you implying to leave Jimin behind?", Namjoon questioned.
Taehyung didn't know what to say. He felt so guilty for saying it, but the thought of you dying because of Jimin clouded his mind.
"I know it's wrong... But we'll all die if he slows us down."
Namjoon hesitated, but then nodded.
"I know... but we'll find another way. I'm not leaving him if it's not absolutely necessary."
They felt so scared and so stuck in their situation. So little time and such a huge problem to deal with.
What to do?
"Y/N won't want to leave him...", Taehyung muttered.
He knew you loved Jimin too much to leave him behind, even if you ended up dying as well.
Namjoon sighed, knowing how much Taehyung cared for you.
"She wouldn't leave him if there is still a possibility of him surviving. Maybe we could manage to carry him to the van in time."
That triggered a thought in Taehyung's mind.
Maybe you would agree if he was injured more seriously and had no chance of surviving?
But that was mad. His thoughts were starting to get unreasonable again and he knew it.
It was simlar to the situation when he had done the most unreasonable thing when he was younger.
His mind was rushing again, making his worries for Jimin increase, only thinking of you. He wasn't going to let you die while protecting Jimin.
So he had to make sure you would go along with them, and leave Jimin.
Without thinking much, Taehyung raised his gun again, examining the bullets he still had left.
"What are you doing?", Namjoon asked while Taehyung walked up to Jimin again.
"I'm sorry, but I can't let Y/N die because of you", Taehyung whispered to his injured friend on the ground.
Jimin froze upon hearing his friends' crazy words. He couldn't believe he had said that and was pointing a gun at him.
Jimin's voice was trembling. He was suddenly so terrified of his friend.
"W-what are you talking about?"
Taehyung's eyes seemed dark, as if he was another person. So coldblooded and crazy like a psychopath.
"Don't you love Y/N? She won't agree to leave you behind if you are like this."
His words made no sense to the others. They couldn't comprehend why he was aiming at Jimin.
"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?", Jimin yelled at him.
He was afraid and felt his injured leg pulsating under his touch.
"I'm saying that your life isn't worth her dying. Would you be so selfish as to let her and all of us die only to save yourself??"
Namjoon jumped in, noticing that he was out of his mind. He had hoped that this side of Taehyung had disappeared, but was obviously wrong.
"Taehyung put your gun down."
He didn't listen, not even seeing Jimin tremble before his feet. It was this other side of him that came in situations like these.
Something like a change of personality happened. But he hadn't experienced this ever since the fight with his parents. He had thought this side of him was gone.
"If you were so injured that there is no chance of survival... She would leave with us and save herself."
"No she wouldn't!!", Jimin argued.
He felt selfish for saying it, but you meant too much to him to imagine you leaving.
"You're a selfish coward. You know there is no way to get you back to the van without all of us being killed on the way", Taehyung firmly spoke.
He had lost it and partially wasn't aware of what he was doing.
Namjoon attempted to grab his gun and knock him over, but a shot had already been fired before he could do so.
Jimin yelled in pain and held onto his stomach.
"TAEHYUNG", Namjoon yelled at him after pushing the gun from his hand. But it was too late.
Reality seemed like a bad dream for Taehyung then. The clouds in his head started parting upon seeing the pool of blood forming around Jimin.
His trembling hand covered his mouth as Namjoon rushed to stop the bleeding.
Jimin was shaking and trying to bring out a word, but couldn't. His disappointed gaze didn't leave Taehyung.
The boy then hurried over to help, but was pushed away by Namjoon.
"Back off", he strictly said.
His anger wasn't overseen by Taehyung and he fell back sobbing.
"I-I'm so sorry...", he only managed to whisper through his sobs.
He examined his bloody hand.
It was stained red by the blood of his friend, whom he had shot without even blinking.
How had it even happened?
"Shit. It won't stop", Namjoon yelled in frustration.
He got up and pushed Taehyung furiously.
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!"
Taehyung could barely speak, but managed to bring out the few words of truth.
"I just... wanted to save us."
Namjoon gripped Taehyung's shoulders and shook his body.
"You did it because of her!"
He was talking about you.
Namjoon wasn't stupid and had noticed that Taehyung was in love with you from the beginning. Now, all that jealousy and need for protecting you had gotten the best of his friend.
"I love her... and I wanted to protect her and all of us", Taehyung mumbled.
Namjoon's grip loosened and he was looking deeply into his friend's eyes. He saw the honesty and sorrow in them very well and could partially understand what he had wanted to achieve. But it was just sick and wrong.
Taehyung just shoved Namjoon's hands off and kneeled next to Jimin.
"I'm so...so sorry."
He knew that Jimin didn't want to hear it.
He knew that he hated him for stealing his life and his future away. He knew that he didn't want to hear him say this, but he said it anyways.
"I'll take care of Y/N, I promise."
Jimin's expression was blank, but a single tear rolled down his face.
"I hate you...", he coughed through the blood.
Taehyung's heart exploded into many shards of glass and stung through his body.
He knew he had no right to take his friend's life, especially under circumstances like these. But you would have died if Jimin held you back.
Namjoon gave a frustrated sigh and felt the pain in his chest as he spoke.
"This was all an accident. He got shot by the enemy and can't go on."
Taehyung was surprised, but saw no reason to argue. He didn't want to let the others find out, not just yet.
They would have killed him, especially you.
He didn't want to tell you just yet. You would have hated him forever, but he did it to save you...
"They'll be here soon", Namjoon said, trying to control his anger and frustration towards Taehyung. They tried to stop Jimin's bleeding as much as possible.
Namjoon was so massively disappointed in his friend, but decided to take care of it later when they were alone. He had to face this as a leader.
He could already hear the steps of the other members echoing through the abandoned parking lot they were in.
Taehyung didn't even want to look the others in the eyes while lying that Jimin had been shot by the enemy.
He was afraid that Jimin would give away what Taehyung had done to him, but didn't manage to speak anymore. Taehyung felt angry watching you cry in his arms. But that anger was the hatred for himself.
Namjoon's warning gaze made him remember that he was the one who had stolen Jimin from you.
It was all Taehyung's fault that Jimin and you were torn apart and you had no idea.
Moments later, you arrived to the scene too. The rest of the story was something you already knew.
End of Flashback
××××
A/N: This was the longest chapter in the whole book with almost 3.5k words.
I just love writing drama, I'm sorry. Don't worry, things will get better soon:)
[Yoonginyaan] - Author💜