Twisted Moon - Book 3 of the Black Moon series - Chapter 36: Daddy's Baby Boy
(Camden's POV - Wed. 30 March 2015)
What the fuck is he doing in my bedroom when I need a moment on my own? Damn! Can't I have just a few minutes to myself to wash away all this tension and sorrow? Is that too much demanding?
It seems like ages since I last felt the urge to play my guitar, but tonight, the instrument that has been resting in a corner of my bedroom for weeks, totally untouched, called me and I couldn't resist the need to take it in my hands, tune it and make it sing. I have always had an ear for music. I always only needed to hear a song a few times to be able to play it almost perfectly right away, as long as it is not extra complicated. And that song... I hadn't listened to it in a while but they played it on the radio sometime last week and it just spoke to me. I have been endlessly listening to it since then and every single fucking line speaks to me like I could have written them myself. So when I found myself sitting on my bed and tuning my guitar, it was the first song that naturally came to my head.
The walls in my house are rather well isolated and I kept it very low, so I didn't think Noah would hear me from downstairs, but I guess I was wrong. I just wanted a moment to myself, to relieve the pain in my chest after what I had just told him. His words hurt me but I had to admit he was right. I have been unfair to him, selfishly keeping him to myself when I knew I wasn't the right person to provide him with what he needs. To hear him say it out loud opened my eyes and the only option left was to let go of him, be it in the BDSM lifestyle with another Dominant or in a more normal life with another teenager. Seeing him being touched by that guy when he walked out of school tonight already tortured my guts and it took all I had in me not to smash my fist on that poor and innocent guy's jaw.
I was able to control my anger, but how long will that last? How long until I lose my self-control and make another mistake? Things cannot go on like this forever and I can't deprive myself of my lifestyle eternally. What would be the solution then? Should I entrust Noah with someone else, in another place, as far away from me as possible? Fuck! That would probably kill me now. I have always hidden within the fortress I slowly built around me – a fortress that protects me from ever having any feelings toward another man other than the brotherly love I have for my best friends - sealing layer after layer of thick bricks and stones, isolating me further and further from the emotions of love.
And yet, Noah's tenacity is slowly crumbling those walls to dust. The little creep has managed to find a weaker spot and dig a little hole there, stretching it little by little until he was able to slip inside and settle down. My only option would be to kick him out of my refuge, but I am afraid that he has already sealed shut that hole with a much stronger material. By rejecting his demands, I have only aimed at reopening the wall so that he can get out but it seems like the boy is determined to stay.
I close my eyes for the briefest second when Jess popped into my view, understanding that Noah must have opened the door and sneaked into my privacy again. I am actually ready to snap at him for creeping in, but my resolve immediately fades away when I turn back and see him leaning tensely against the frame of my door, tears streaking down his cheeks and his eyes brimming with sadness and emotions. Why the hell is he crying? Is he feeling hurt? Have his urges to self-harm returned? Without too much thought, I swiftly toss my guitar on the bed and hurry to his side, pulling his slender body into a tight hug. Noah is not really sobbing or crying, it is just tears running down his cheeks, but where does such sadness come from?
"Hey Noah... What's wrong?" I ask, unable to mask the concern in my voice.
"I need you... I need you to help me, Camden... please..." he says in a strangled voice.
"I'm here for you! Tell me what's going on?"
"Only you can do this... please don't let go of me," he whispers, refilling the tiny hole I had started digging in my fortress to let him out. His pleading voice sends an electric shock to my heart and shivers down my spine.
"I'm not gonna let you down, Noah... but I'm not sure I can help you with what you need..."
"Yes, you can," he says with a new determination in his voice. I had never heard him say anything with more resolve and that destabilizes me for a second, but he needs to understand that there is no way out of what I am.
"You don't know what you're talking ab..." I try to say, willing to spell it out for him for the umpteenth time, but he interrupts me with a groan and stamping his foot on the floor.
"Please let me explain..." he says as he pulls away from me, blushing to the deepest red I have ever seen on his face so far. What the hell is he thinking about this time? I watch him walk to my bed where he finally sits down, or rather kneels. If it weren't for his slightly hunched back, he would be in a perfect kneeling attention position for a Submissive. Get those thoughts out, Cam!!
"I'm listening," I sternly say, now curious to hear what he has to tell me and yet a bit nervous at the confident expression on his face so I keep my distance and stay by the door.
"Do you remember yesterday when we argued and I went upstairs?" he finally asks after another long moment of silence.
"Of course, I do."
"It pained me, but it wasn't all due to your rejection that I get a part-time job... It was also because I angered you again and because I ruined other plans I had..." he replies with a small voice, anxiously biting his lips. Noah seems to be hesitating and I don't know whether it's out of embarrassment or because he is trying to find the right words.
"What kind of plans?" I encourage him.
"That doesn't matter... just stupid plans. Whatever... I felt so deadbeat... It hurt me so badly that... that I wanted to hurt myself. No! I didn't want to hurt myself, I needed to do it, and..."
"What!?? Why didn't you come and tell me, Noah!!? Why did you do that? And how?" I exclaim, hurrying to him and beginning to check his arms, but Noah sighs in annoyance and moves to escape from my hold of his arm. At the same time, I'm getting confused because I didn't notice anything when I checked up on him yesterday evening before I went to bed. I found him bare-chested and lying over his comforter and I'm pretty sure there were no new marks on his arms or belly...
"I didn't!! I didn't hurt myself, please let me finish!" he grumbles. I take a couple of steps back and wait for him to continue. "Do you know how I managed to fight my urge to self-harm?"
"No, but I guess you'll tell me?"
"To make it short, I... I realized that... if I had been your Submissive, you certainly wouldn't have let me reach that state for the good reason that as soon as I started talking back to you, you would have... probably punished me..." he says, his voice getting lower and lower and his face redder and redder.
"I certainly would have, but I don't understand... How could this have helped you?" I ask, refusing to admit the truth I can read in his eyes as they look up at me with a weird glint of self-satisfaction.
"Don't you guess, Camden? Don't you guess what I did? I simply imagined what you would have done to me if I had been your Submissive. I just imagined how you would have punished me!"
"What??" I can't believe he did that... Noah is no longer blushing now. All that his face displays are boldness and assurance.
"Yes, Camden, I imagined how you could have tied me and whip me with one of those floggers that have knots at the end of their lashes! And guess what! I was so deep into it that I could feel all the stings on my skin, and..."
"Stop Noah, shut..."
"No, let me finish!!" he screams in a high-pitched voice, tears falling again on his cheeks, as he gets up from the bed and closes the distance between us before he blurts out the rest. "I imagined the physical pain of each strike and I relished in it! I even thought about the temporary marks they would leave on my skin, thinking that they would be far more numerous than the two or three stupid little scars I'd get with a knife. And whether you like it or not, Camden, I loved it and when it was over, the pain in my head had receded until it completely disappeared! And that's not all... I... I also... I also got hard and even imagined you f..."
"Enough, Noah, enough..." I softly say, pulling him into my arms and pressing him to my chest. Holy shit! What am I going to do with this boy? Please someone help me...
"I need you, Camden! So much more than you can imagine! I need a Dominant like you... Please... accept me as your Submissive..." he begs, his voice muffled by my chest. Ugh that pain in my heart! I can already feel the first cracks weakening my fortress.
"It's not as easy as you think... You really don't know what I am capable of..." I whisper remorsefully despite the lump in my throat.
"I'm sure we can work this out, and I'm sure we can help each other out... I swear that I could be a good Submissive to you... I know that I am not very experienced in... sex... but you can teach me..."
"Argh, shut up!" I growl, pressing him tighter against me. All my resolve seems to be fleeing me now and I'm so close to cave in.
Shit! That boy is driving me crazy! I can't deny that I am immensely attached to him, and I hate myself for that, but is it even possible to fight one's feelings? Is it something we can control? I doubt it... I just can't stand the idea of seeing him with another man, be he a Dominant at the club or a friend at his school and it was o' so hypocrite of me to think that I could ever let go of him. I would never be able to do that and I know it.
At the same time, it wouldn't be very responsible of me to take him into my deviances. I just loathe the idea of hurting him, and yet... what if it could help him like Aaron said? What if I could help him and fill his needs for pain? Would I at least be able to refrain on my own urges? Maybe I could try and dominate him without having to be too violent? Maybe I could try and leave aside some of my worst accessories, like Aaron already suggested?
Lost in my thoughts, I didn't realize that Noah's arms, which were wounded around my waist, surreptitiously moved until his hands were to my front, fumbling with my belt.
"What the fuck are you doing Noah?" I ask, loosening my hold on him and thus giving him more freedom of movement. I see him drop down to his knees, his fingers awkwardly trying to unbutton my jeans. As he looks up at me, his white teeth biting into his lower lip and his eyes full of determination and maliciousness, my cock immediately hardens, twitching against his hands. I catch both his wrists and stop him from removing the second button. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" I growl again, scowling severely at him.
"I want to prove you that I can be a good Submissive..." he replies shyly. I pull on his wrists and bring him back up to his feet before I re-button my fly and buckle my belt, my eyes never leaving him.
"It doesn't really work like this, Noah. There's a lot you need to learn, boy..." I scold him dryly.
"Then teach me..." he whispers.
"You really don't know what you're getting into," I sigh.
"I'm sure I do... I can feel it..." he insists.
"I'm not a good person for you... you need affection... tenderness..."
"You're already giving me that... I want the rest now... I want your dominance... I want the sadist in you..." he whispers, his voice becoming less and less audible.
"I don't want to let out all this... inner violence on you!"
"I need it. And you could also temper it a little... But I need your roughness too anyway..." he insists. Damn! Why does he need to have the final say in everything? After over a month of abstinence in brutal sex, I begin to believe that I might be able to tame my urges indeed, but I would certainly compensate with something else.
"Can you just imagine how strict I could be?" I defy him. "Do you have any idea of how demanding I could be, Noah?"
"This is all I need..." he whispers sheepishly. Grunting, I take a few steps away from him and slam a hand on the wall.
"This lifestyle is something serious. You can't just step in blindly. You need to know what would be expected of you! It's not all about pain and pleasure!"
"I already know that..." he sighs, closing the distance between us again.
"No, I don't think you already know... Last Sunday, you were saying that Joshua was hard on Liam, but I could be far worse! Punishments are not only about physical pain and more importantly, they don't aim at satisfying the Sub!"
"I know that... I don't mind..."
"You don't mind?? Do you know what I'm talking about Noah? Do you know what denial is? Would you be ready to satisfy my sexual needs and get nothing in return in the case of a punishment?"
"This is exactly what I imagined yesterday..." he mumbles grumpily, yet trying to reach for me. I catch both his wrists and hold them in my left hand at the small of his back while moving and pinning him against the wall. My right hand goes to grasp his jaw in order to hold him firmly there with the help of my right leg that slips between his. His determination doesn't seem to faint one bit! Fuck! How can I be sure that he really means everything he says?
"Are you sure you're ready for this, Noah?" I ask, looking down into his intense blue-green eyes. I can already feel the Dom in me rise up again and my voice only gets deeper. "Are you ready to surrender all your powers to me? Are you ready to obey each and every order I will give you, without hesitation? Are you ready to trust me? Are you ready to follow my lead and reach the goals I will fix for you? Are you ready to be lectured? Are you ready to be disciplined? Are you ready to accept a ton of rules and comply with them?"
"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes and yes!" he mumbles. "I want this... I want all of this... Please..."
"Are you really sure?" I ask again.
"Please... Camden..." he shrieks pleadingly.
"I'm not sure I heard well..." I groan, glaring at him.
"Please... Daddy..." he whispers again, a mischievous sparkle lighting up his eyes.
At that, a deep rumble echoes out of my chest and I crash my lips on his, immediately forcing them open with my tongue which is already claiming his mouth as mine. My left hand lets go of his wrists and moves to the back of his head, grabbing his mop of hair, while the right one travels down his chest and to the small of his back. It seems like all these weeks of him teasing me with his flirtation and his innocently induced daddy-kink are taking their toll on me; like all this frustration and denial are bursting out, unleashing the alpha in me. I know that he has made some research on the internet and I am now pretty certain that what was virtuous taunting in the beginning has recently become much less ingenuous.
And as I deepen our kiss, I feel my old stone-fortress crumble to dust, soon replaced by walls made of a different material around us. One that is impenetrable and unbreakable, somehow making me feel even stronger! The Dominant in me is finally ready to take charge! How weird... I feel like nothing could ever break this new fortress down, like an armor that will allow me to protect this sweet boy of mine. Our saliva mixing together is like the cement that seals its strength.
I let Noah's hands move up my chest and his arms wound around my neck; I automatically reach for his backside, kneading those firm buttocks for a few seconds before I lift him up in my arms; his legs naturally wrap around my waist as I press him against the wall, never breaking our kiss until I pull back the slightest bit to bite his already swollen lips. My little masochist gasps and moans in pleasure while his fingers play with the bun in my hair.
"You really don't know what you're getting yourself into..." I ramble, nibbling on his sweet lips.
"You'll show me..." he breathes out.
My tongue re-enters his mouth, getting to taste again how sweet he is. My hips push a little further against his groin, allowing some friction between both our erected cocks, making him moan through the kiss. Fuck! Was I really ready to deprive myself of this? I feel like I could already fuck him senseless right now! For all I know, I might as well throw him on the bed, rip his clothes off, tie him up and pound into his cute little ass through the night! That's when I realize that I need to stop this... for now. I can't afford to mess up with Noah and I need to do things properly. If I want to have him as my Sub, I will need to act as a good Dominant which means I can't allow my sexual needs to take over my self-control before I have clearly defined some rules and limits. Besides, I shouldn't expect to fuck him hard on the first time!
"Are you still sure about all this?" I ask, panting against his lips.
"More than sure..." he whispers, trying to recover from his heavy breathing.
"Alright," I say, putting him back down on his feet with a sigh and resting my hands against the wall on both sides of his head, watching how beautiful he is now that things are getting the way he wanted them. Noah's hands tentatively reach for my chest but I shake my head. "No, not yet. Some things need to be cleared and established first. For now, you're gonna go pick up your book and finish reading the chapters you had to read for tomorrow in bed, and then you're going to sleep."
"What? You mean... no..."
"I mean no sex tonight, indeed. As I said, I first need to establish some rules... and limits... You've repeated often enough that you have been searching on the internet about the BDSM lifestyle, so you must have heard about what we call an agreement?"
"Yes, but... I thought... Will we just be like a Dominant and his Submissive? I thought... we'd be like Joshua and Liam... or like Mark and..." he says, his voice full of disappointment.
"Because you think they don't have contracts?" I chuckle.
"Do they?"
"Of course they do! Even if they have become more than Dominants and Submissives, they still have a contract. This is necessary. It's a frame to the relationship and we are going to have one too. It doesn't mean that we won't be more than a Dom and a Sub, Noah, but we really need to make everything clear. And until that is done, no sex!" I explain with a smile.
"Ugh... that's so unfair..." he sighs, pouting his lips in such a way that I just feel like biting them again.
"Are you already complaining?" I ask, leaning my forehead against his. "You've had a foretaste, so you shouldn't complain too much," I whisper.
"How long is it going to take?" he murmurs shyly.
"Not long... I'm going to work on the contract tonight; it will be ready tomorrow and we will discuss it in the evening provided you have done all your homework," I promise, dropping a brief kiss on his lips before I eventually pull away from him. "Now be a good Sub and obey! Go get your book and off to bed!"
"Yes, Daddy..." he whispers mischievously before he scurries out of my room.
"That's Master, Noah! Master!" I shout at him. Or maybe not... I'm getting to like that Daddy thing...
* * *
Around 11:00 pm that evening, once I have made sure that Noah is sound asleep - in my bed, by the way - I get back downstairs and send a text to Aaron.
Camden: Hey, unless you're in the middle of fucking a Sub, please go to your office and send me one of those contract templates you have. Thanks!
Exactly as I was expecting, my phone goes off within less than twenty seconds, of course displaying Aaron's name. And as soon as I answer the call, I can hear the music in the background slowly fading away as he must be walking out of the Black Diamond.
"Yep?"
"What the fuck was that text you sent?" he asks a bit dryly.
"Hmm... Grumpy much it seems! So I guess you were not fucking a Sub, which might explain that bright mood of yours..." I tease him.
"Grumpy screws you, Cam! And deep at that! What do you need that template for?"
"Mmm... Let me see... There's this beautiful chick who's one of my patients and I'd love to propose her a contract, you see? So that's why I need it!" I reply with heavy sarcasm. Now that I think about it though, it might be a good way for me to finally get rid of Mrs. Sanders if I showed her such a contract.
"Dumbass! Jokes aside... Have you changed your mind on Noah?"
"I guess so... Ron, please just send me the file," I insist as I head a door being shut in the background.
"You and I need to talk first, Baby..." he replies in a smug tone.
"Why is that?"
"I'd just like to make sure you do things properly."
"You're not my father, Ron..."
"Thank goodness, I'm not! I'd be in jail!!" he guffaws.
"Of shut up already, and send me the damn contract Aaron!"
"Seriously Cam, I'd like we have a talk... I'm not your father, but I am your Master Dom. Are you really sure about your decision?"
"Come on! Are you doubting me? Aren't you the one who's been pushing me to do this?" I ask, getting a bit annoyed by his attitude, but he doesn't reply. "What the fuck, Aaron? Are you intending to make me take all the tests again? For fuck's sake, I have been a Dom for more than four years now, and one of the most active at the club! I know the job and I'm not gonna fuck up!"
"But having a long-term Sub would be a first for you and a quick refresher wouldn't do you any wrong..." he argues, way too seriously for my taste.
"So you do want me to take the whole fucking training again? No way, Ron! I'm not going through this again! And by the way, I remind you that you haven't had a long-term Sub in a long time either... Josh or Mark might be more ap..."
"Caaaaaam! Relax, bro! I'm just teasing you!!" he suddenly bursts out laughing. What a bastard!
"Jerk! Just send me the contract then!"
"It's already on its way! Have you had sex already?"
"Of course not! I want to do things in the right order. See? I'm being a responsible Dom!"
"Good Boy... But, I still want to talk to you though! No offense, Cam, but since you have never experienced that side of the lifestyle, I'd really like to have a short conversation with you. And come on, tell me what happened!" he then says cheerfully. Such a gossip guy!!
"Not now, I promised Noah I'd work on the agreement tonight and it's already late, so I'll talk to you later..."
"Cam...." he growls.
"Ron..."
"Are you available for lunch tomorrow? I want all the details!" he cheers, guffawing like the stupid bear he can be sometimes.
"Yeah fine, I'm free from two to three tomorrow," I eventually agree, thinking that I owe that much to my friend.
"Perfect! I'll meet you at the usual restaurant then! Have a good night, Lover Boy!"
With a chuckle, I end our call and grab my laptop from the coffee table to check my emails. And there is the template waiting for me. As part of my Dominant training, I have already seen such contracts and the draft Aaron sent to me is already pretty complete, but I still read it a few times to get familiar with its contents before I start amending it to my likings. I fill in the first part with general information about both parties before I jump to the articles. The first three don't need much editing as they are quite general, so I mostly adapt them to the fact that I am categorized as a Sadist and set goals for Noah. These revolve around his education and self-harm issues. I will have to make it clear that he should always reach out to me if a panic attack hits him and he suddenly feels the urge to hurt himself.
I then focus on the fourth article which deals with rules and the fifth one which relates to discipline. These fit rather well with my expectations, so once again I just adapt them a bit and provide a few more details. The one part I am not sure of and that I will need to discuss with Noah regards the way the Submissive should address his Dominant. I wouldn't be surprised if Noah asked me to change the Master for Daddy. To be honest, I don't think it would bother me, which is surprising because I have never been into that kink. At the same time, like Aaron remarked, I have never had a Sub and therefore never had the opportunity to develop this kind of kink in a relationship before. I still leave it as it is for now and will wait for Noah's comments.
Things get a bit more complicated when I reach the part regarding soft and hard limits. This one lists all the activities and accessories that can be practiced and used in a Dom/Sub relationship. I already know this list by heart since all the occasional Subs at the club fill a similar one that Aaron adds to their profile for the Doms to consult; this way, they can see who meets their expectations for a one-evening play and it allows them not go beyond the Sub's limits. The Subs check the first column to state whether they have already experienced each accessory and activity, then grade them on a scale of 0 to 3 depending on how willing they are to try it. When a Dom looks at the sheet of paper, he can immediately see if the Sub can match his own needs. On my side, I usually don't care if they have experienced this or that thing; I just go for those who have circled as many threes as possible.
Now this is different. This is Noah I need to think about and there are things that I am definitely not ready to use on him and knowing how eager he is to try everything, I'd rather set some of the things as hard limits immediately. We will go through this list together and I will help him to define his own limits, but there are things that I can already remove, for the good reason that they are hard limits for me too. Being quite a perfectionist, it takes me a good three hours to be satisfied with the whole document. I send it to my Wi-Fi printer and fold the sheets of paper into a white envelope that I seal and mark for Noah's attention.
It is almost three in the morning when I finally get back upstairs and walk into my bedroom. I had already planned an early start on Thursday in order not to finish late and I need to get up in about two hours and a half. I wonder if it's any use trying to sleep for so little time, but I guess that a couple of hours will be better than nothing. This is much less than what I actually need to be in a decent mood, but as I slip inside my bed and pull Noah's back to my chest, I realize that I don't really care. I have a feeling that for once my lack of sleep won't play on my mood and that tomorrow should be an interesting day.
As I slowly drift to sleep, holding the little creep in my arms, I surprise myself feeling really happy about all this and almost relieved; as if a weight had been pulled off my shoulders; as if I suddenly felt stronger and capable of protecting Noah from all the dangers of life. I don't know what changed in so little time; just a few hours ago, I was filled with doubts that I can't explain anymore. I know now that I can make this work with Noah. What seemed so irrational only a few hours ago now sounds so obvious to me and I know how much he needs this lifestyle. I will be the Dominant who makes him bloom in BDSM and I am certain that I will succeed.
I also know that things won't be easy every day. Noah definitely has a strong and mischievous personality but it should be interesting to temper him. In any case, I will be there for him each step of the way toward his submission. I don't intend to make it fun and easy for him all the time; like I said before, being demanding and strict will certainly be a way for me to compensate on my inner violence, but I will make sure to always keep him comfortable enough.
After a few minutes, Noah starts getting agitated in his sleep, probably the beginning of another nightmare hitting him, but I easily manage to shush him and calm him down by holding him closer to my chest. I refuse to see this as a bad omen. This is going to work out well. We will be just fine!
I eventually let myself drift to sleep, relishing into the sweet smell of his hair and the warmth of his slender body. And to think I was ready to give up on this! Well, that won't happen. He is mine. My boy. My Baby Boy.
Yes, Daddy's Baby Boy.
Published on 3 June 2017
And we're reaching another turning point!! This is finally the beginning of their relationship, but a few points need to be clarified before they do the naughty! The next chapter is very long, but to tell the truth, chapters 37 and 38 were actually one chapter... which would have been more than 13K words... which is why I split it. Both will be in Noah's POV though.
In the next chapter, there will be - among other things - the contract and the whole discussion that goes with it. Since it's the third book of the series, I have really strived to make the conversations different (and hotter...) so that you don't get bored; hopefully... The contract is quite similar to the one you saw in I Would Give Him The Moon but there are a few different things to match their particular relationship.
Anyway, enjoy the weekend! I'm now off to the countryside again for three days so, see you on Tuesday morning!