You sat there for a while, replaying what Jimin had just said.
"They got what they deserved."
You started sobbing uncontrollably. What were you going to do now?
Bangtan was dead and your home was gone.
Your friends were dead. Tae, Jungkook, Yoongi, Hoseok, Jin, Namjoon... they were gone forever.
Another tear dripped down your face as you let yourself sink to the ground again, wrapping your arms around your knees.
They were dead and it was your fault.
....
No.
....
It wasn't your fault.
....
It was Jimin's fault.
He killed your friends. Not only that - Bangtan was like family to you. They were the only important people in your life.
And he had taken that away from you.
In an instant, all your feelings for him were pushed aside into a dark hole of misery.
"I'm going to fucking kill him"
You got up and rushed off to the kitchen.
Never in your life had you been more aggressive and lustful for revenge.
You firmly felt your heart drop at the thought that Bangtan was gone.
The only strive you felt now was to kill the one who was at fault for that.
Park Jimin.
You took out a medium sized knife and hid it beside your body.
It wasn't hard searching for Jimin. As you passed through the hall, you heard him. Jimin's deep breathing and occasinally, several punches against a firm surface could be heard from the next hallway.
Not long did it take you to locate the room he was in, landing punches against the wall there.
Without much thought about your actions, literally ignoring your inner voice screaming to stop and snap out of it, you sneaked behind him.
He was in a panicked state now and wasn't paying attention to his surroundings.
It was the perfect moment to kill him.
Your hand twitched, launching the knife towards his back.
Maybe just for a split second, it popped into your mind that you were about to kill the only remaining important person in your life and how you regretted not being able to stop yourself.
You loved him and yet resented him so much in that very moment.
But you couldn't take the time to think about it anymore as your wrist was grabbed in a very painful manner, hurling the knife out of your hand.
It landed at the other side of the room, making a lound climpering sound as the steel hit the wooden floor.
The knife slid a bit further across the room, nowhere within reach anymore.
Your wrist was still being held by Jimin's veiny hand, causing it to get red.
The tears that blurred your view caused you to miss all the punches that you tried to throw at him with your other hand.
They were too weak to do any harm anyways.
He threw you over and pinned you to the ground painfully, blocking the use of both your hands.
With your last strength, you tried struggling out, but you just couldn't.
There was no trace of energy or will to fight anymore.
It was all gone. All over.
"Y/N...", Jimin sighed as he held you down firmly.
"Stop, please..."
You let your body fail as you almost choked on your tears. A loud sob escaped your mouth, gazing at your helpless self, trapped between Jimin's arms.
Jimin was staring at you in disbelief, also shock. His eyes became all glassy as he glanced over to the knife that lay just beside the wall.
"You tried to kill me...?"
You had no idea what he meant as you gave one last struggle before giving in. For a while you just lay there, wondering how you had even ended up on the ground, trapped by Jimin.
"You tried to kill me...?"
Jimin's teary eyes above you and the sight of the kitchen knife let the realization hit you.
You breathing increased, probably just as much as your blood pressure did. It was at that moment you had realized what you had just tried to do.
"I-I... Oh my god", you could only gasp between your breaths as you stared at Jimin's equally shocked face.
What could have ever gotten into you that you tried killing the reason you had stayed alive for the past several years?
Bangtan was dead and he had killed them... But he was still Jimin.
In a way your actions held a certain righteousness in them. But only the memory of that little mochi in high school made your heart break at the thought of almost stabbing him.
Whether it was your tears or your nose running, you were a sobbing mess now.
Jimin's expression softened as he placed his head onto your chest as you cried. He was still holding onto your wrists, as if he was afraid you might try something again if he let go.
"I-I'm so sorry", you gasped as warm tears started welling down your cheeks and your body muscles started relaxing under his grip.
You had almost killed the boy - no, the man you had loved the most in your entire life. He was your everything.
You had just tried to stab him.
He was breathing heavily, but you could have sworn you felt warm tears through your shirt just where his head was resting.
"Jimin I'm so sorry", you gasped again, not able to bring out anything else.
There was no way you could have ever explained how that had happened.
But were you really sorry?
Your own thoughts and actions in that moment had stayed a mystery to you. Nothing of your memories had remained, apart from the spilled milk on the ground and Jimin going out of the room.
Everything was blank after that.
His grip on your wrists loosened as well and he retreated his hands. You didn't dare to move and basically just lay there, still in a state of shock.
Jimin sat up and leaned against the wall behind him. There were scratches and cracks on it, probably where he had been punching beforehand.
His chest rose and sank as he stared at the ceiling.
"I don't know what happened... I don't remember anything", you finally brought out, causing his gaze to fall on you on the ground.
"I was just... so angry that I-"
You couldn't finish the sentence because not even you yourself could have explained the feelings you had experienced at that moment.
Jimin got on his knees and came closer to pull you up by placing his hands on your back. He raised you up to sit, facing him, just before he hugged you tightly.
You really needed his embrace right now, in a way, happy that he was alive. But again, he was the one that had killed your family. Should you let him hug you or push him away?
"I'm sorry", he muttered into your shoulder.
"I know you cared for them but I just had to finish this."
"You...killed my friends - my family", you could only gasp into the shoulder of the murderer of the people you had loved you much.
His body stiffened a little, but he then pressed you onto him even more.
"I'm sorry", was the only thing he could say to consolate you even though he did not mean it.
It was something that had to be done - that was what he thought anyways.
"You're not", you cried, trying to push him away again.
He held his grip on you firmly, not allowing you to part from him.
"You killed them. You killed the friends who have been there for you in all ups and downs. With them, we found each other, we found what we were meant to be, we found people who were just as miserable and hopeless as us. We found someone who would accept us, despite our horrible lives", you almost shouted at him.
"You killed the people who were crying for you for 2 years, the people who always thought of you, every single day since your death. The people who loved you like a brother..."
Your voice cracked in the end, not allowing you to finish what you had wanted to say.
There was so much more you wanted to say into his face, to tell him what he had no idea of. To just tell him how wrong he was.
"That might be the case... But you don't know the whole story", Jimin coldly spoke.
He finally let you part from him, sitting up straight to face him. Your eyes were all puffy and your face red from crying.
Jimin wiped away a tear from your cheek while sighing heavily.
"I didn't ever want you to know this, neither did Taehyung or Namjoon."
Your eyebrows crashed together. What was it that you didn't know...? And what did Taehyung and Namjoon have to do with it?
"But I don't think now would be the time to tell you", he stated, throwing a gaze at the abandoned kitchen knife several steps away.
That was what he had always said up until now.
"But you will tell me?", you tiredly asked.
"I will."
"You promise?"
His lips formed a thin line as he stretched out his pinky.
"I promise."
No matter how childish it seemed, you gave your pinky finger as well, completing the promise.
Jimin never broke promises, you knew that well.
You tried getting up from the ground, but only then noticed how much your back hurt from Jimin knocking you over.
It was that same technique he had always used on you during practice while he was still a member of Bangtan. The pain seemed to have increased since then. He hadn't gone easy on you.
"Sorry, it was a reflex", he admitted while stretching out a hand to help you.
Truthfully so, his reflexes had gotten better.
You yourself probably wouldn't have been able to react as quickly as he did. Throwing your enemy on the ground with full force seemed to have been the only logical solution at the time.
"It's okay", you muttered, rejecting his outstretched hand.
You didn't feel like getting all close with him again at all. All that closeness and the feelings for him were what drove Bangtan into their graves. Time was what you needed at the moment.
Time to think over what you would do now.
"I need time for myself", you told him before disappearing to your old room again, locking the door behind you.
There was no way you wanted to sleep in the same bed as him again, not to mention look him in the eyes at all.
For one thing, he killed Bangtan and you hated him for that.
For the other, you had literally just tried to kill him and you couldn't bare to look at him out of shame.
You were uncertain of your feelings.
Why was it, that even in a crappy situation like this, you never lost your feelings for him?
He was such an asshole, a murderer, a traitor himself... so why did you love him so much?
You almost hated yourself more than him for feeling this way.
Why exactly did you have to love him so unconditionably?
---
Bangtan had finally arrived at their new dorm and were trying to get everything to work.
The place was an old abandoned building and the dorm itself was several feet underground, unlike their last dorm which used to have an outside-training field.
"Yoongi!", Jin shireked.
"Don't you dare go near the washing machine ever again."
"I can handle the washing machine", Jungkook assured his hyungs as he carried the heavy bags of dirty laundry they had brought with them to the bathroom.
The dorm itself was a lot bigger than the last one, which made up for the fact that it had no windows and bad air.
"I guess it's okay", Hoseok commented while inspecting all the rooms.
"At least it's safe."
"Can we get the computer going?", Taehyung impatiently asked while waiting for Jin to plug in all the cables.
"Why are you so impatient?", Jin laughed from under the table.
"Because we haven't heard from Y/N in 2 days!", he sneered, causing everyone else to stop what they were doing.
Jin flinched and pulled out from underneath the huge working table, covered in dust.
"She must be worried sick for not being able to reach us. What if something happened to her??", Taehyung proceeded, his voice getting weaker.
He really had a bad feeling about the whole thing after they had been attacked by Jimin's men.
"Taehyung", Jin calmly approached him and placed his hand on his friend's shoulder.
"Please calm down, go and get some sleep."
Taehyung saw that his hyung was right. He was out of his mind because of all the unslept nights and worry he had to put up with ever since you had left.
"Fine", he just muttered, proceeding to the room Jungkook had immediately reserved as theirs upon arrival. He didn't know what had gotten into him all of a sudden, but he just had a bad feeling.
The others had waited for Taehyung to exit to start speaking again.
"Hyung, will it even be possible to connect with Y/N from here?", Yoongi asked, fully aware of the complications they should have.
Jin didn't answer and just continued plugging in all the cables, knowing well that it wouldn't be possible. They wouldn't be able to find the same signal.
You were out on your own now.
Little did they know that you thought they were dead.
"I couldn't get the washing machine to work, the language isn't Korean!", Jungkook broke the tense mood as he came back. (Flashback to Bon Voyage Season 1 hehehe)
Everyone sighed at their little maknae and went over to help him get the machine to work.
Hoseok got the water going, Yoongi the electricity, Jin the computer and Namjoon was better off doing nothing instead of wrecking everything apart.
Jungkook went off to his and Taehyung's room, exhausted. They had been awake the whole night and were worn out by the long drive and commotion at their old dorm.
Taehyung still had traces of black ash on his face as his younger friend entered the room.
"Is the computer working?", Taehyung muttered, half asleep.
Jungkook made a silent mhm, unsure whether it was a good idea to tell his hyung about the conversation he had just heard from the others.
He gave up on it, since he wanted Taehyung to get some rest. If he had known that contact with you wasn't possible anymore, he would have had a fit.
"Rest well hyung", Jungkook whispered to the already knocked-out Taehyung.
It was late morning, but everyone went to sleep as soon as they had secured the place.
Namjoon sighed in worry while looking around the new dorm, knowing that things were going to get really stressful soon.
Internally, he knew that the news of Jimin must have spread all around the organization by now because of the latest attack. There was no way they wouldn't receive the order to kill him in a few days at most.
Your time was up.
Jimin had to be killed now.
××××
[insert dramatic music]...kidding
Haha thank you for reading. This chapter was super difficult to write if I'm honest. The numerous feelings and emotions going on here were intense and challenging to put into words, especially because English isn't my first language. I hope I achieved the feelings from you readers that I aimed for.
And don't be a silent reader pleaseu<3 I love reading comments so much and it brightens my mood because of how depressing this story is😂
Thanks for reading again~💜
[Author :3]