After the boar ran off, and we gained a new member on our expedition, we continued on. As much as I didn't want to kill anything, I knew we were desperate for food. Not making it to Mount Weather had really hurt us.
I took the silence that had fallen across the group to achieve the mission I had set out here to do--talk to Atom.
The two of us had fallen behind slightly, I was pretty convinced he had been told by Bellamy to make sure I didn't wander off somehow.
"So," I hummed, glancing over to him with a small smile. "You and Octavia."
His eye roll was immediate as he shook his head. "Is that the whole reason you came—to talk to me about Octavia?"
I shrugged, frowning slightly. "No."
"Are you lying?"
"Maybe."
His eyes darted up to the front of the group where Bellamy was walking with Charlotte. "Bellamy will kill me if I go anywhere near her again."
"Bellamy isn't in charge of her— or you." I pointed out, unsure of when Bellamy began the all-almighty in our camp. "Do whatever you want, Atom."
Quirking a brow, he let out a small sigh. "He strung me up in a tree and left me there, Avery. I'd rather not cross him again."
I did my best to conceal the shocked look that covered my face. I clearly hadn't been informed about that part of the story. "Are you serious?"
Atom dipped his head slightly. "Wish I wasn't."
"I'm sorry he did that to you, Atom. I didn't—"
"Hey!" Bellamy called, turning to look at the two of us. "If you two don't keep up, you're going to get left behind." His eyes then settled solely on Atom for a moment. "You move on quick." He muttered.
Scoffing, I waved Bellamy off. "Mind your own business, Bellamy. Maybe it'll do you some good."
He paused, brows raised at the fact that I had challenged him. "Watch your mouth."
Charlotte looked between the two of us, her face morphed into a slight frown at our bickering. The other boys ignored us, continuing on their path.
It seemed Bellamy and I were going to be locked in a never ending staring contest, but something broke it.
Yelling from somewhere up ahead caught all of our attention, and when I tore my eyes away from Bellamy, I saw what all the commotion was about.
There was a billowing cloud of yellow fog coming right at us. Whatever it was, it didn't look good.
Bellamy's instruction for everyone to RUN wasn't entirely necessary. All of us were breaking into a sprint before the words has barely left his mouth.
Atom grabbed onto my arm, pulling me along with him as Bellamy did the same with Charlotte. We needed to find a safe haven.
I ran as fast as I possibly could. Faster than I ran that day we rescued Jasper. Faster than the day I ran from the guards on the Ark...the day I was locked up.
"There's some caves up ahead!" Bellamy yelled back at us, turning his head ever so slightly before picking up his pace. "Let's go!"
I did the same, picking up my step as we neared the entrance of the caves. Almost there.
Suddenly, the hand that had been wrapped around my arm was yanked away as a thud sounded from behind me.
Stumbling, I turned to see Atom hit the forest floor, the fog instantly surrounding him. My eyes widened as I lunged forward, reaching out for him. "Atom!"
The moment the fog came into contact with the skin on my arm, it burned a pain so blinding, I could hardly handle it.
That was what Atom was feeling all over, his screams a clear indicator of the pain he was in. I had to help him. I couldn't leave him—"
"Avery!"
Bellamy's voice came from directly behind me, he had clearly backtracked to get to me. "We have to go." He asserted, grabbing onto me and pulling me away from Atom's withering body.
His screams echoed off the walls of the cave as Bellamy and I ducked inside where Charlotte was already hidden. My breath came out in short, panicked breaths as I leaned against the cool rock walls, struggling to slow my heart rate back down.
Atom continued to scream, pleaded for us to help him. I felt like I was going to be sick as we listened to his screams. They slowly died off, and I only hoped that that meant he had found shelter somewhere else.
"Does it hurt?" Bellamy's voice was strained as he spoke. It seemed he was trying to do anything to ignore his friend's pleas for help.
My eyes flickered down to my arm where he was looking. Angry blisters had begun to form where the fog had touch my skin.
Nodding, I pulled off my jacket to get a better look. "Yeah."
Lightly, Bellamy took a hold of my arm, examining it for a moment before reaching into his backpack to pull out a small canteen of water. Slowly, he poured the water over my wound, causing me to flinch slightly.
"Better?" He wondered, his eyes flitting up to meet mind.
I stared back at him for a moment, realizing that for the first time since I had met him, I wasn't looking at him in anger.
"Yeah." I whispered, lightly taking my arm from his grasp. "Thank you."
He nodded, setting down the canteen as he looked back toward where Charlotte was huddled.
The two of us shared a silent look, one that agreed that I needed to go sit with her. So, silently, I took a seat next to her, trying to provide any comfort I could.
"How long are we going to have to stay in here?" She finally asked, her voice small and muffled.
Bellamy glanced out toward where the fog was still roaring. "I really don't know."
---
It turned out the fog had stayed a lot longer than we had expected. The cave eventually grew dark and it was evident that night had fallen outside.
Charlotte had fallen asleep at some point, which left Bellamy and I in an uncomfortable silence. Neither of us knew what to say to each other.
That was until I broke the silence. "I—uh—I never got to really thank you." My voice cracked as I spoke, the result of too long of not saying anything.
Bellamy looked up at me, his brows furrowed slightly. "For what?"
"For saving my life that day we went after Jasper." There had been so much chaos that day, I never got the chance to really thank him.
He studied my face for a moment before nodding. "Well I can't let you die. Octavia would kill me."
"Yeah. Well, thank you."
After a slight nod from Bellamy, we fell back into silence, this one even more uncomfortable than the last.
My eyes flickered around the cave for a few moments, trying to think of something to talk about. But somehow, they ended up back on Bellamy who was already watching me.
As we made eye contact, he cleared his throat awkwardly. "So, what was it like?"
I shivered slightly at the cool night air. "What was what like?"
"Being a twin." He answered. "I mean, I know what it was like to have a sibling...but what was it like to have a twin?"
Smiling softly, I recalled my life with Finn. "It was the best and worst thing that ever could have happened to me." I admitted honestly. And that was the truth. "I couldn't imagine my life without my brother. But being a twin also made my life that much more difficult. It hurt the most knowing we were born only minutes apart but he got to live his life while I...didn't. It wasn't Finn's fault...but it hurt."
Bellamy watched me thoughtfully. "I wished everyday that I could have traded places with Octavia. I'm sure your brother wished the same."
I let out a soft laugh. "He did. When we were kids, he used to beg my parents to take my spot and I could go to school for him. I don't think he realized we weren't identical."
A genuine laugh fell from Bellamy's lips, the first I had heard since I met him. It caused me to smile. Maybe Bellamy Blake wasn't as bad as I thought.
He smiled back at me for a moment before looking over to where Charlotte was still sleeping. "We should sleep, too." He advised.
Part of me wanted to argue, but the other part agreed full-heartedly. My body and mind were exhausted after the day we'd had.
Nodding, I shuffled so I was laying down on the cool rock. It was less than comfortable, but it was all we had.
As I drifted off, the last thing I could hear was the repeating of Atom's screams. They haunted my dreams that night.
---
When I awoke, it wasn't to the sound of Atom's screams, but someone else's.
It was still dark, and indicator that it hadn't been too long since Bellamy and I had fallen asleep. At the noise, I jolted up and a jacket fell off of my body. I glanced down at it quickly and realized it wasn't my own...Bellamy had given me his.
My eyes then snapped up, meeting the panicked ones of Bellamy who had also awoken in a daze. Together, the two of us looked toward Charlotte who was withering in her sleep, letting out cries of protest.
Bellamy stood up and took a few large strides toward her. "Charlotte." He called, lightly shaking her.
Her cries stopped abruptly as she sat up, her eyes wide and tired as she looked at the two of us apologetically. "I'm sorry."
I shook my head with a gentle smile. "You don't have to be sorry, Charlotte."
Keeping his hand resting on her shoulder, Bellamy looked down at her. "Does it happen often."
Charlotte glanced down at her hands in embarrassment, as she let out a small sigh. She wouldn't look either Bellamy or I in the eye.
"What are you scared of?" Bellamy wondered. But before Charlotte could respond, he spoke again. "You know what? It doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what you do about it."
She frowned. "But...I'm asleep."
Bellamy shook his head with a small smile, "Fears are fears. Slay your demons when you're awake, and they won't be there to get you when you're asleep."
"Yeah, but how?" Charlotte wondered, furrowing her brows.
"You can't afford to be weak." He explained. "Down here, weakness is death, fear is death."
I wasn't entirely sure if that was the best thing to be telling a thirteen year-old with nightmares, but I remained silent.
"Let me see that knife I gave you." Bellamy instructed, causing Charlotte to reach into her jacket and pull out the knife he had given her earlier today.
He took the knife from her hands. "Now, when you feel afraid, you hold on tight to this knife and you say 'Screw you, I'm not afraid'"
Charlotte reclaimed the knife, looking over at me and then back to Bellamy, "Screw you, I'm not afraid." she said meagerly.
When Bellamy gave her a disapproving look, she spoke again. This time, it was louder and more assertive. "Screw you, I'm not afraid!"
"Slay your demons kid, and then you'll be able to sleep." Bellamy smiled, giving her a light pat on the knee.
As I watched the way he was with her, I couldn't help but crack a small smile. He may have been an ass half of the time, but he had some redeemable qualities.
Charlotte fell back to sleep rather quickly, and once I was sure she was, I handed Bellamy's jacket back toward him. "Here."
He looked over at me, quirking a brow. "What?"
"Take your jacket." I ordered, "I'm fine."
"You were shivering." He muttered. "I can't let you freeze. Octavia will—"
"She'll kill you...I know." I interjected.
Upon realizing he wasn't going to take it, I let out a sigh and dropped it back onto my lap. "Why do you act like such an ass?" I blurted, my curiosity winning the internal battle I was having.
Propping his head on his hands, he glanced over at me. "Care to explain?"
"I saw the way you just were with Charlotte." I declared. "Yet here you are talking about killing Jasper and punching kids and making everyone afraid of you...I just don't get it, Bellamy."
He remained silent for a moment. "I make the hard decisions that no one else wants to make. If that makes me a bad person, so be it."
"You gave me your jacket." I returned to our earlier discussion. "A jackass would have just let me freeze."
"It wasn't about you." He argued.
I stifled a smile as I threw the jacket back at him. "I can't let you freeze either. Octavia would kill me."
He tried to hide it, but I could see the smile that touched at his lips at me flipping the script on him. "Has anyone ever told you you're irritating?" He grumbled.
I laid back down, letting out a small laugh. "No. I think you're the first."
"Won't be the last." He mumbled, setting his jacket beside him.
"You can say whatever you want, Bellamy. But you showed me tonight that you actually have a heart...and I'm going to make sure everyone knows it."
This time when I fell asleep, it was with a smile on my face.
---
When I opened my eyes again it was daylight. Much to my chagrin, Bellamy's jacket was draped overtop of me once again. This guy was relentless.
"Morning Sleeping Beauty." Bellamy mumbled, causing Charlotte to let out a giggle next to him.
I glared at him as I pulled the jacket off of me, this time launching it in his direction in a less than kind manner. "Hilarious."
Bellamy smirked as he stood up, putting on his jacket and walking to the entrance of the cave. "I'll make sure it's safe out there and then we can get going. "
Yawning, I pulled myself to my feet, examining the blisters on my arm. It wasn't pretty.
"The fog did that?" Charlotte verified, her eyes locked on my wound.
I nodded, pulling my sleeve overtop of it so she couldn't look at it anymore. "Yeah." I answered. "We're lucky we found this cave."
She looked slightly concerned as her and I watched Bellamy advance toward the exit of the cave. I kept Charlotte close to me, the two of us holding our breath as Bellamy took a step out into the forest.
When he didn't fall to the ground in pain, he turned to us with a small nod. "All clear."
I pulled Charlotte with me, following Bellamy out of the cave and back into the open. Everything looked untouched, as if a vicious cloud of fog hadn't terrorized the forest for the past few hours.
Bellamy glanced around. "Anybody out here!?" He called, " Jones!"
"Over here!" Someone called from deeper in the forest. Bellamy motioned for Charlotte and I to follow him toward the voice.
"Lost you in the stew. Where'd you go?" He asked as we approached a group of three other kids from camp.
"Made it to some caves down there." Jones explained. "What the hell was that?"
"I don't know." Bellamy admitted. He the paused, looking at the three faces in front of us. "Where's Atom?"
Jones' face fell as he looked between Bellamy and I. "Last I saw he was with Avery. What happened?"
Pushing the lump down in my throat, I spoke. "He fell and we—we couldn't help him there was too much fog."
"We thought he might have made it to you guys." Bellamy interjected. "But maybe he found shelter somewhere else. Let's split up. We can find him that way."
No one argued, and within seconds we had spread out across the area that Bellamy and I had last seen Atom. It was difficult to tell exactly where that had been due to the thickness of the fog, but we were doing our best.
I walked alongside Jenna, one of the other girls from camp, as we scanned the area. "It was somewhere her that I last saw him."
As I pointed, my sleeve rode up, revealing the blisters on my arm. "Did the fog do that?" Jenna questioned, her eyes widening.
Pulling the sleeve back down, I nodded slightly. "Yeah."
"So if Atom was out here..." She trailed off, her voice solemn.
I cleared my throat, trying to push down the negative thoughts. "Maybe he made it to safety."
Wrong.
Charlotte's shrill scream caused the remaining five of us to startle, sharing nervous looks before we took off toward the sound.
Jenna and I joined the three boys as all us of rounded a tree, reaching the spot where Charlotte was standing. She was staring down at something, and when I followed her gaze, I wasn't prepared for what I saw.
Atom was laying on the ground, gasping for air in panicked, pained gulps. Blisters, similar—but much, much worse—to the ones on my arm, covered his entire body.
My heart plummeted as I turned away for a moment, intense guilt and a heart-wrenching remorse washing over me.
Charlotte let out a small sob next to me, her face breaking. Silently, I grabbed onto her and turned her away from the sight. She didn't need to see that any longer.
"Son of a bitch." Bellamy whispered, his eyes pain as he rushed toward his friend. "Atom."
As Bellamy tentatively kneeled down, Atom looked up at him with tears in his eyes. "Kill me." He pleaded, my heart now fully breaking.
I closed my eyes for a moment, only reopening them when Charlotte pulled away from my grasp to take a few steps toward Bellamy and Atom.
Without saying anything, she reached into the pocket of her sweater and pulled out the knife Bellamy had given to her. Holding it out to him, she spoke quietly. "Don't be afraid."
Taking the knife, Bellamy looked at it for a moment before glancing back toward the rest of us. "Go back to camp."
The other three didn't argue at all. Each of them seemed eager to get away from the horrific sight in front of us.
"Charlotte, you too." Bellamy instructed. Charlotte didn't look entirely pleased with the instruction, but she didn't argue.
As she passed me, I gave her a small nod, letting her know I would be there soon. I didn't want to see this, but I refused to leave Bellamy alone to shoulder this.
Silently, I took a few steps toward the two boys, my heart hammering against my chest as I listened to Atom's gasps of pain.
Bellamy didn't—and part of me believed that he couldn't—look up at me. "Avery, go."
"I'm not leaving." I asserted, slowly kneeling down on the other side of Atom who was still begging for us to end his life. "You shouldn't have to do this alone."
Pushing a lump down in his throat, Bellamy nodded as he readjusted the grip he had on the knife.
"We're going to help you Atom." I whispered softly, my voice catching in my throat as I looked down at the boy we left behind.
His blue eyes looked up at me, and he gave a small nod. As his eyes met mine, I felt like all the emotions were attacking me at one. Regret, pain, sadness, anger— all of them.
Atom was about to die because Bellamy and I had left him behind. We had done that.
But now wasn't the time for self regret or blame. Atom needed us to make this as pain-free and comfortable as possible.
Gently, I ran my fingers through his hair as I softly hummed a tune that my mother always sang to put Finn and I to sleep as children. As much as I didn't want to, I held my hand out, signalling for Bellamy to give me the knife.
Bellamy's argument was instantaneous. "Avery, no—"
"Bellamy, someone has to do it." I argued, tears pricking at my eyes as I looked up at him.
He didn't hand over the knife. "I'm not making you do that." He argued as he looked from me down to Atom."Just keep doing what you're doing."
With shaky hands, he gripped onto the knife and as gently as he possibly could, drove it into Atom's neck. As he pulled it out, blood began to spill and within a matter of moments, Atom had bled out.
His gasping ceased as his eyes glazed over, wide and looking up at the sky.
I fell silent as I reached out and gently closed his eyes. My own eyes were teary as I looked up at Bellamy who was starring at Atom, his face hard. He was silent as his eyes flickered between the knife and his friend.
"I'm sorry." I whispered quietly.
Bellamy nodded as he stood up,."There's nothing else that we could have done. This was for the best."
It may had been what was best...but that didn't make it any easier.
hey loves!! I hoped you guys liked this chapter and Bellamy's sweet side :)) I know in the show Clarke kills Atom but I thought it would better for Avery and Bellamy to have to deal with the death of one of their own together.
let me know what you thought of this chapter in the comments
-maddy :)