When you have a crush on someone, you're giddy with hope for the future — and it's heartbreaking when you realize it won't work out. Maybe your crush is seeing someone else, or you just know that getting together is impossible. Letting go and moving on is a process, but you can do it if you're really determined to put your crush behind you and to move on, Especially if your best friend is dating him.
Find people who know what you're feeling. It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you're in the middle of a crush, but plenty of other people have been down this path before you. Finding out how they got through it can kick-start your own inspiration to move on.
Ask a friend or family member for help. Most people can sympathize with love on some level, and they might be able to tell you about their own experiences overcoming a crush. Even if they don't have personal experience with this problem, they can still give you some level-headed advice.Keep your eyes peeled for examples. Once you start looking for it, you'll see countless examples of other people struggling. Books, movies, songs and even news stories often center on someone grappling with an impossible crush. Pay extra attention to the ones where someone gets over it, and note what you can learn.
Admit you have a crush. Before you can get over a problem, you have to acknowledge that it exists. Allow yourself to say you have a crush, and to experience all the complicated emotions that go with it.
Consider writing down a few pages about how you feel. Taking some time to express your emotional turmoil can help you feel like you're putting it behind you. List the reasons why you developed feelings for the other person, and why it's not going to work. Write it in a private journal, or on a password-protected word processing document. Or, write it on a few loose pieces of paper and burn them later.State your feelings out loud. You don't have to tell anyone else how you feel, but verbalizing your problem out loud — even if you're the only person in the room — can help it seem real and approachable. It can be as simple as saying "I have a crush on Steve, and I hate that I feel this way."
Tell your crush. If you're certain they're mature and capable of understanding what you're going through, find a time when you can talk to them about it. One of the most difficult parts of getting over a crush is letting go of your hopes for romance. If your best friend is dating him, then you just need to back off. If you just give up, you'll likely be tormented by "What if" thoughts. Telling the person gives the small chance that maybe they really do like you back, but even in the eventuality that they don't, you finally can just move on to accepting that. You won't feel like you wasted a chance for happiness.
Don't be demanding or creepy, try to avoid talking about the physical side of your feelings, as that's not relevant to what you really want to know. Simply tell them how much you care about them, and that you just want to know if they feel the same. Make it clear you still want to be friends with them (although you may need time apart to get over your feelings), and that you want them to be honest.Writing your crush a letter may be better for several reasons. It makes it easier for you to explain how you feel without getting stuck, and it also puts less pressure on them. Give your crush a letter explaining your feelings, and ask them to read it later when they're alone. Don't contact them for a day, just to allow them time to think about what you've told them. Try talking to them the next day when you have time alone. If they avoid you, understand they're probably just a little intimidated and confused, just give your crush space and try again in a while.
Acknowledge defeat. Maybe the person you're crushing on is already in another relationship, or you're separated by thousands of miles of distance. Maybe the other person doesn't even know how you feel, and you're unable to say. Whatever the reason, accept that there's an obstacle in your path, and that you're choosing to walk away from it.
Don't confuse this with personal failure. The fact that you can't be with your crush has nothing to do with your inherent self-worth. Relationships don't work out for a multitude of reasons, and most of them are problems that can't be changed or improved. Some things are beyond your control.Accept the things about yourself that prevented them from having feelings for you. Heartbreak typically begins with denial, try to skip that stage. Accept that perhaps you just weren't compatible. Be open to correcting flaws in yourself if you want to improve your chances next time, but make sure not to confuse flaws with differences. Bad hygiene is a flaw, and something you can fix. Liking a different kind of music, or being a more introverted person are not, and you shouldn't try to force yourself to change them. It may seem like you'd do anything to be with the person, but deep down, what you desire more than anything is for them to love you as you are. Even if changing for them possibly resulted in them falling in love with the new you, the relationship would likely quickly fall apart after the initial novelty.Avoid becoming embarrassingly stubborn. It might go deeply against your grain to admit that you can't do something, and in most situations perseverance is an admirable trait. There are times, though, when perseverance morphs into desperation and stupidity. Chasing an impossible crush is one of those times. Let it go.