Chapter 52:
(Kat's POV)
"Christmas is so close and I still don't know what to get for Drew," Carlee said frantically as we made our third round around the mall.
We had been searching for Christmas presents for about three hours. Though I only had to get a present for Mom's family, Zayn, Jack, and Carlee, I still couldn't figure out what to get. Carlee, though, had a long list of people who she needed to find presents for. Every year, her family threw a giant family get together for Christmas, and I always envied that. Carlee had a perfect life, everything about her seemed to be wonderful. The most I've seen her cry is when her cat died.
On the other hand, with me, I had a far from perfect life. Christmas for me was a small ritual that Dad felt like I deserved, so he did it out of sympathy. Mom always called me down for Christmas, but I never went, making an excuse. I never wanted to leave dad alone.
But since Dad wasn't here this Christmas, my list shortened a person and my excuses for not celebrating with mom were useless.
Now, I watched as Carlee picked up a suit that she had picked up more than once before. She sighed, mentally debating weather or not she should get it for Drew.
"Just get it," I finally said.
She turned to me, "what's he going to do with a suit? He works at the cheesecake factory and he rarely ever goes to formal events."
"Then don't get it."
"But he would look good in it," she whined.
I sighed and gave up. It was not like she was going to end up listening to me anyways.
Meanwhile, I had already gotten Zayn a present. I remembered when he was helping me move things into my apartment, he saw my guitar. I had never really played it, but I always kept it because my mom used to play it to me when I was younger.
"This is a neat guitar," Zayn had said, examining it.
"I never even play it," I said. "I don't even know how."
He laughed, "you have a guitar and you don't even know how to play it?"
"It was mom's, I never even touched it. I always just kept it in my room."
He and I sat down on the couch as he spread the guitar across our laps. He began strumming a few keys, humming along. I rested my head on his shoulder as he began playing a song that I didn't recognize, but I was glad I didn't. His voice was made for it.
"Man," he said after he finished. "I would kill for one of these. The only guitar I have is the one Caroline lets me borrow while I'm working."
"You can have this one if you want," I had offered.
He brushed his lips on my forehead before setting the guitar back where he found it. "That one's yours."
"So? I don't play it."
He chuckled, "but it's yours. You're going to need it one day."
So that's when I had realized that I would be getting Zayn a guitar for Christmas. I had also gotten him some more stuff, but I was especially excited about the guitar.
"You know," Carlee said as she moved on from the suit, "you're lucky you don't have much presents to hand out."
I shrugged, "you can put it that way."
She glanced at me, trying to read my expression but got distracted when she saw a watch. She walked towards it, her attention stolen, and I followed.
"What about this?" She asked.
"Just buy it. We've been circling the mall for hours and I can't feel my legs."
She sighed and took the watch off the shelf. She examined it again before walking to the counter to buy it.
I stood behind her in line, patiently waiting while she bought it. After she finished, she turned to me.
"I've got plans for lunch with Drew, do you want to come along?"
"I'd rather not."
"Why?" She said, offended as we made our way towards the door.
I sighed, "do you want me to sit there while you guys talk to each other?"
She shoved me, "come on, we aren't that boring."
"You're probably not," I agreed. "But I think I'll pass. Thanks though."
She giggled while we sat in the car. "Are you going over to Zayn's?"
"I don't know," I replied.
"Well you seem to be pretty occupied with him nowadays."
I turned to look at her, but she wasn't looking at me. Instead, she focused on starting up her car.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"I just feel like you're getting too attached to him."
"So?" I spat.
She took notice but didn't mind. "Listen Kat, I'm your best friend. I know you better than anyone. I also know that you get attached way too easily, and it backfires."
I groaned, "really?"
She nodded, backing out of the parking. I looked ahead, not wanting to continue this conversation because we both knew where it was heading. And who it was heading to.
"Kat, I don't really know Zayn, and he seems like a nice guy. But based on everything that has happened so far, I don't think he's that trustworthy."
"Please," I told her, "if I go around telling you what I don't like about Drew, you'd be mad at me. So If you don't know Zayn, please don't assume."
I honestly couldn't believe what she was telling me. Out of everyone in my life right now, Zayn was the most trustworthy. But according to everyone who doesn't know shit about him, he was a bad guy.
She sighed, "Kat, I'm just saying. I don't want to see you getting hurt again."
"I'm not going to," I said harshly. "He would never hurt me."
***
"Alright," Zayn said, collapsing on the couch besides me, "I've got a bunch of horror movies we can watch."
My eyes widened, "no. You know how much I hate horror films."
"Oh come on Kat, it's just a movie."
"Fine," I said. "You can watch while I go to sleep."
"It's five o'clock. How are you going to sleep now?"
"It's never to early to sleep," I replied and he laughed.
He continued searching through the horror films on Netflix, not stopping by any other films.
"Seriously Zayn," I said to him.
He looked at me and pouted, "please? Just once."
I stared at him, not having enough courage to say no to him. So I nodded, and he beamed.
"Yes!" He smiled, "you can choose."
"I don't know any horror films," I replied.
"That's fine, I'll just find one." He continued searching through the horror section, even the covers scared me.
After a while, there was a knock on the door. Zayn and I looked at the door as I got up and walked to it. I looked through the peephole to see Marilyn again. I opened the door and smiled.
"Hey," I spoke.
"Oh hello," she replied. She was wearing a uniform, looking as if she was going to work. Her kids were looking up at me, clueless.
"I know that this is short notice, but my babysitter canceled last minute and I can't leave them alone at home," she explained. "I know you just moved in and it seems horrible that I'm asking you to do something for me, but would you mind looking after them for a while?"
Like I could say no. "Sure," I replied, "I got you covered."
She immediately grinned, "thank you so much, oh my goodness. I owe you one."
"Don't worry about it."
Edmond and Hazel quietly walked into the apartment. "You two behave, okay? I'll be home soon. I love you."
They both replied by saying, "I love you" together. Their mother waved and turned to walk away as I shut the door.
"Hey Kat," Edmond said, beaming at me.
"Hi guys, how are you?"
"Good," they both replied.
I looked up at Zayn who was staring at me. I smiled at him and he shook his head, but smiled back.
Edmond ran up to Zayn excitedly, "whoa, your tattoos are awesome!"
Zayn stretched out his arms towards Edmond while Hazel and I walked over. I helped Hazel on the couch and I sat down beside her.
"Thanks dude," Zayn replied.
"Did it hurt when you got them?" Edmond asked.
Now everyone was paying attention to Zayn, and I smiled. "At first, but then I got used to it."
Edmond beamed and looked extra carefully at his "Zap" one. "This one's the coolest," he said. "When I grow up, I'm going to get one just like it."
Zayn looked up at me and smiled, and I smiled back.
"So who wants to watch a movie?" I spoke.
"Me!" Edmond and Hazel said.
"Great, what movie?" I said as Edmond crawled on the couch, sitting next to Hazel.
"How about a scary movie?" Edmond offered.
"Good idea," Zayn said.
Zayn shot me a smirk and I rolled my eyes. But Hazel said, "no way!"
I giggled and Zayn smiled at her, "then what do you want to watch?" Zayn asked her.
"A princess movie," she replied.
Now I said, "I agree."
"No!" Edmond whined.
"Then what should we watch?" I asked everyone.
Everyone looked clueless. I started scrolling through family movies and everyone's attention was taken by the television.
"Oh! Despicable Me 2!" Edmond shouted.
"Yeah! Yeah!" Hazel agreed.
I looked at Zayn who was looking at me, and he shrugged. I took that as a yes and played it.
"You guys want popcorn?" I whispered to the kids.
They both nodded, already captivated by the movie's title. I got up off the couch when I felt Zayn grab my hand.
"Where are you going princess?" He asked.
I smiled, "kitchen, the kids want popcorn."
"The kids?" He asked, smirking. I was suddenly aware of how motherly that sounded. I nodded and walked towards the kitchen as Zayn followed.
I took out a bag of popcorn, "you want one?" I asked him.
He nodded, handing over another bag. He leaned against the counter with his arms crossed, watching me.
"You'd be a pretty great mother one day, you know that?" He finally said.
I put the popcorn in the microwave, "you'd be a pretty great father."
He chuckled, "I doubt it."
I started the microwave and walked towards Zayn. "Why not?"
He wrapped his arms round my waist, pressing me against him. "I don't think I can handle kids."
I raised my eyebrows, "really?"
"I don't know. They seem pretty hard to control."
"They're not that hard," I said, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I love kids."
He smirked, "how many do you want to have?"
"It depends."
"On?"
"If I have a boy or a girl first. I think I want a boy first, so he can protect our daughter."
Zayn grinned, "our?"
I hadn't realized I said that until he pointed it out to me. I brushed my lips to his and smiled, "what about you? How many do you want?"
"I don't care as long as he or she is ours."
I giggled as he tightened his grip around me. Then I asked, "would you let our kids watch horror movies at their age?" I pointed to Edmond and Hazel.
He glanced over my shoulder at Hazel and Edmond. "No way."
I smiled, "see, you would be a good father."
He laughed and kissed me before we pulled apart. I got the two bowls of popcorn and walked towards the couch.
"Order up," I said to them.
They both looked at me and grew excited. I set the bowl in their laps and sat down. I looked around for Zayn and spotted him with blankets in his hand. He walked towards the kids, "you guys chilly?"
They nodded so Zayn said, "bowls up." Edmond picked up the bowl as Zayn spread the blanket on their laps, making sure they weren't cold.
"Thank you," Hazel said.
"Of course princess," Zayn winked at her, causing her to giggle. Zayn walked over and sat down besides me, spreading a blanket on top of us as well. I cuddled into him, feeling warmer already.
"That was adorable," I said to Zayn.
He shook his head and reached for a piece if popcorn, "why thank you."
"See, you would be a great dad," I told him, resting my head on his chest.
"You really think so?" He rested his hand on my leg.
"I really do. You seem like you know how to do it already."
We were staring at the television screen in front of us, but talking to each other. "I've had experience with being the man of the house."
"Isn't that the same thing?"
He chuckled, "I wish."
I soon realized that Zayn had never talked about his dad in front of me. The only thing he said about his family had something to do with his mom.
"How come?" I asked, easing my way into this.
"What?"
"How come you were the man of the house?"
He took in a breath, "dad left us when I was a kid. Around Edmond's age."
I looked over at Edmond who was giving Hazel popcorn while she watched. He wasn't eating himself, instead feeding Hazel.
"So you had to take care of your family?"
"Well," he started, "mom didn't have a job that could hold us up for long, and I was incapable of doing anything at my young age. So I started doing things that a little kid would do after seeing his family struggle. I gave her my piggy bank money, I opened a lemonade stand, and I used to sell pencils and erasers at school. It wasn't much, but I thought I was helping."
I looked up at him and noticed that he had shut his eyes, as if he was trying to recall something. "But I was wrong. We were on the verge of losing our house once, but we got some help. That's when I realized that if I couldn't do anything for my family, who else will?"
I brought my hand up to stroke his cheek, his eyes remained close. "I promised myself that I would do anything to help my mom. She deserved it. But after everything that happened to Doniya and she kicked me out, I realized that my help wasn't enough."
He finally opened his eyes slowly, looking at me and smiling. It was amazing how much pain a smile could hide.
"She misses you Zayn," I told him.
He pressed his lips to my forehead, his stubble brushing against me. "I'm only going to make her life worse," he said.
"No you're not babe."
"Yes I am," he replied, shaking his head. "Besides, what would I tell her when I go back? That I'm sorry for not being the son she hoped for."
"Zayn," I said.
"That I hurt my sister?"
"Zayn."
"Should I go back and not have anything to give them? For God's sake, I don't even know if they're on the streets!"
"Zayn," I said. I noticed Edmond and Hazel staring at us, both clearly shocked. I smiled at them, trying to reassure them that it was fine, and they continued to watch the movie.
"What do I do Kat?" He asked.
I stared at him, actual concern filling his eyes. I noticed him getting confused. But I didn't have an answer. And he didn't wait for me, instead he just got up off the couch and walked outside.
Now, the kids didn't even pay attention to the movie. Edmond turned to me, "did you guys have a fight?"
"No," I reassured him. "Everything's fine."
"That's what mom said before I never saw Dad again," he frowned. "Please go apologize to Zayn, I really want to see him again."
I started at him for a little while. I swallowed the lump rising in my throat. His bright blue eyes were actually pleading me to go, and he was genuinely worried. He didn't know that we didn't have a fight, but to him, it looked like it.
I reached over and squeezed his hand, "I'll go talk to him for you."
He smiled, "thanks."
I got up off the couch, admiring how strong he was. "I'll be right outside," I said to them as I walked out the door.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't help the tear that fell from my eye. Good kid, that Edmond.
I walked around and saw Zayn leaning against the brick wall. He had a cigarette in his mouth, his stare fixed on the house in front of him. I walked over, standing in front of him.
"You okay?" I asked him. He nodded, not looking at me. I brought my hand up to his cheek as I caressed it softly. He shut his eyes at my touch, reaching up and taking the cigarette out of his mouth.
He let out a cloud of smoke, and I realized that he hadn't stopped smoking yet. But I didn't say anything, instead just reaching over to take the cigarette out of his hand. Before I got it, he pulled it back. As he did this, the butt of the cigarette came in contact with my hand, burning it just slightly. I flinched, shaking my hand from the burning sensation. Zayn looked down and grew worried, throwing the cigarette on the ground and stomping on it angrily. He took my hand in his, bringing it up to his lips as he blew on it. I smelt the smoke in his breath as he did so.
He pressed his lips to my hand, shutting his eyes. "I'm sorry darling."
I placed my free hand on the side of his face, "it's okay. I'm fine."
He didn't let go of my hand though, looking sincerely hurt as if he had gotten burned and not me. I stared at him as he took deep breaths, blowing on my hand. I smiled, "I'm okay Zayn."
"I'm sorry for yelling," he continued.
"It's fine babe."
"I just don't know what to do." He finally admitted, "I'm so lost."
I wrapped my arms around his neck, resting my hand on the back of his head as he pressed his face to my shoulder. He slid his arms around my waist tightly.
"Remember Zayn, no matter what happens, your family will always love you. It sounds cliché now, but it's true." I whispered to him.
He nodded, but said, "what if they don't?"
I took in a deep breath, placing a kiss on his cheek. "They always will. I promise."
We stayed silent, and he didn't let go for a while. It had gotten dark outside, nothing but the sound of our heartbeats and crickets. The moon lit up the dark sky as I embraced Zayn. He held on to me for a long time before finally saying, "Thank you, Kat."
"Don't worry about it babe."
He pulled apart and pressed his lips to mine, the taste of tobacco rolled on my tongue. His hand moved to the back of my head, getting caught in my hair. We stayed like that for a while more before we separated.
He smiled at me and without notice, picked me up, throwing me over his shoulder. I giggled as he stormed back into the house, not putting me down. Once he got to the couch, he threw me down and laughed, but I pulled him down with me. He kissed my cheek while I looked over at Edmond, who was smiling big at us. He gave me a thumbs up and I did the same, reassuring him that everything was going to be okay.
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