Getting over your first love can be tough. Your first love teaches you what it's like to be in a romantic relationship. Experiencing anything for the first time sets the tone for how you will engage in such experiences in the future. If you're struggling to get over your first love, this is perfectly normal. This is something most people struggle with, but there are things you can do to help yourself move on. First, limit thoughts of your ex. Try to focus on the present and not dwell on the past. Try to adopt a healthier perspective about the relationship. While it ended, you learned a lot about yourself by being in love. After grieving, try to move forward. Focus on what's ahead of you rather than your lost love.
Limit time spent thinking of your ex. You may think that you should eliminate your ex from your thoughts altogether. However, this strategy can very easily backfire. If you try to force yourself not to think about something, you'll only think about it more. Instead of trying not to think about your ex altogether, limit the time you spend thinking of them. This is a more sustainable strategy.
Choose a certain time in the day where you can thoughts of your ex out of your system. You could, for example, think about your ex for half an hour every morning. If you're having trouble coming up with memories, try listening to a song or thinking about a movie the two of you loved.After this, try to avoid thinking about your ex for the rest of the day. If thoughts creep back in, say something to yourself like, "I've already thought about this today. I can save these thoughts for tomorrow."
Watch for unrealistic thought patterns. If you're reeling from the loss of a first love, you may be prone to catastrophic thinking. For example, you may think things like, "I'll never love anyone again" or "I'll never be happy again." When you catch yourself engaging in such thoughts, stop and challenge them.
No two relationships are alike. You're right to think you'll never feel exactly the same way again. However, this does not mean you'll never love or be happy again.Be realistic. Most people do not end up with their first love. Think about your parents, friends, or other family members. They probably all experienced the loss of a first love, but ended up in healthy relationships later on.Remind yourself that, while things are difficult now, in all likelihood you will love again and be happy again, even if it takes time.
Focus on the present. Remind yourself of what you have going for you right now. Think about things like your friends circle, job, interests, and passions. While you may not have the romance you want right now, there's a lot in the present to focus on.
Do things to keep you grounded in the present. Take up a new hobby. Join a club. Volunteer somewhere. Join a gym. Anything that can keep you in the present moment can help.New memories can help you get over the past. Taking concrete steps towards making new, better memories can help you let go of your ex.
Practice self-care. It's very difficult to think positive when you're not caring for yourself. You may find it hard to sleep, exercise, or eat right after heartbreak. However, you need to keep up with basic self-care. This will allow you to stay strong and avoid negative thinking.
In addition to sleeping and eating right, give yourself treats. Do not be afraid to baby yourself slightly after a breakup.Have a night out with your friends. Order takeout. Go for a long walk or bike ride. Watch a movie you love.