Focus on the task at hand. During the actual interaction, keep the importance of the situation in mind. This person is someone that you value, and you have something that you need to say, so convey the message clearly and fully.
Don't allow your mind to wander. Thinking about getting the conversation over with will just distract you and disrupt the flow of the conversation.Don't pull out your phone. Keep it in your pocket or purse and make sure that it's silent. Checking Instagram or your email can wait.
Do not lie or use platitudes. Your nice guy doesn't deserve false explanations. Take the high road. If he simply isn't the one for you, tell him that, but be tactful.
Don't be like Chandler from the show Friends who told Janice that he was moving to a foreign country. It would certainly be awkward running into him later on!Using the cliche that you're just not in the right place for a relationship will come off as insincere, so avoid that one, too.
Shut down any discussion of past conflict. Couples usually aren't in alignment when it comes to whose fault it is that a certain argument got started. Rehashing previous disagreements or negative experiences won't do you any good.
At this point, it doesn't matter if he never wanted to go hiking or that he didn't like seeing concerts.It also doesn't matter if you were sometimes short with him or ignored him. Don't let the conversation take an unproductive turn.
Feel free to mention the good times. Let him know that you enjoyed the time that you spent with him overall. Highlight some things about him that you might miss. You can even express regret about ending things, but only if doing so is sincere.
Did you appreciate that he always responded to your texts or calls in a timely manner and that he sent you cute cat pictures because you like them? If so, tell him!Was he good in bed? Definitely emphasize it to keep his ego intact!
Be prepared for how he might react. It can be difficult to predict how even a nice guy will act during a break up, even if you know him well. Imagine different scenarios and build your deflection skills before having the big conversation.
He might throw insults at you. If he wants to hurt you, he may target an area that you are insecure about, such as your career or parenting skills. Tell yourself that he is upset, and that what he says doesn't define you. Silence might be the response. If he shuts down and refuses to converse, all you can do is say your piece and be on your way. Let him know that you are willing to talk once more when he is ready.
Cut off communication. It is important not to remain in contact with your ex--at least right away. You might want to be friendly, but Facebook chatting him or asking him for coffee too soon won't help him detach.
Remind yourself that the break up will affect you, too. Even though you initiated it, you will probably not feel relieved right away. Be aware for signs that the break up is affecting you, and take proactive steps.
If you start telling yourself that you are a bad person, cut it out. It's normal to feel this way after making someone else feel badly. You should counter those thoughts by focusing on the legitimate reasons for the break-up.Tell your closest friends and family members that you are ending the romance. That way, they aren't blindsided and they won't ask you a ton of many questions, which will further upset you. More importantly, they can help you cope.Positive results can occur. Many women grow as people after ending unsatisfying relationships. You can, too!
Don't avoid him instead of breaking up with him. It shows a lack of respect both for him and the relationship you had.Try to imagine how you would feel if you were him.Remember that he will retain memories of you for the rest of his life. If he is a truly wonderful person, don't break up with him in a way that will add dating you to his list of unpleasant experiences.Don't try to make a joke out of the break-up. It may be easy for you, but your boyfriend will be going through a living heck at the time. Laughing it off will only upset him even more.Don't come off as being indifferent.Don't show up looking your absolute best. Wear some around-the-house clothes so he's not focused on how sexy you can be and what he will be missing.