I took a deep breath.
I was about to go out on stage and perform a song I wrote.
It's for the high school talent show; Dinah made me do this. She saw it as an 'opportunity to get over Lauren'.
As if that would ever work.
I've tried. For four years, I've tried.
I loved her with all I had. I'd do anything for her, no matter how crazy or weird. She knows that, too. She takes advantage of it. She knows what effect she has on me, and does she care? No.
So I wrote a song. I wrote a few, actually. But Dinah insisted I sing this one.
Normally, I would be fine with this. I love to sing. The problem was the fact that Lauren was in the audience. I saw her. She doesnt suspect anything. She doesn't know I'm going to perform a song I wrote because of her in five minutes. She has no clue.
Crap, I don't think I can do this.
"Mila, you're on in 3," Ally says, snapping me out of my thoughts.
Ally was one of my three best friends. She was the mom of the group. She was always there for me. She was always there for all of us.
I looked at the shorter girl and sighed. "I don't know if I can do this, Ally..."
Ally put her clipboard down and wrapped her arms around me. "You'll do great, Mila. Really. If you want, You, me, and Dinah can go get some ice cream after the show. Sound good?"
I nodded. "I guess..."
Normani and Shawn then appeared. She had danced with Shawn Mendes to the song 'Impossible' by Shontelle. The crowd seemed to love it.
"You're up, Camila. You'll do great."
I smiled awkwardly and nodded. Normani was Lauren's best friend. She knew how I felt about Lauren and I could tell she felt bad for me. Overall, I thought Normani was cool. We didn't talk much, but I knew her enough to know she had a thing for Dinah, and she loved to dance and sing.
"It's time, Mila. You'll do great," Ally said, patting my back.
I gulped and nodded, and then headed out on stage.
"Next up... She'll be singing a song she wrote, called 'I Have Questions'. Please welcome the amazing Camila Cabello!" Ally's voice announced and the crowd cheered.
I heard Dinah shout, "YEAHHH!!! YOU GO CHANCHO!!!! SNATCH 'EM!!!"
I giggled and cleared my throat as the music started. I began singing the lyrics.
"Why did you leave me here to burn?
I'm way too young to be this hurt
I feel doomed in hotel rooms
Staring straight up at the wall
Counting wounds
And I am trying to numb them all"
The audience was dead silent, and i did everything I could possibly do to keep myself from crying.
"Do you care, do you care?
Why don't you care?
I gave you all of me,
My blood, my sweat, my heart,
And my tears
Why don't you care, why don't you care?
I was there, I was there
When no one was
Now you're gone, and I'm here"
Right then and there, I saw Lauren watching me with an unreadable expression. There was no way to tell what she was thinking.
"I have questions for you
Number one, tell me who you think you are
You got some nerve,
Trying to tear my faith apart
I have questions
Number two, why would you
Try and play me for a fool
I should have never, ever, ever
Trusted you
I have questions
Number three, why weren't you
Who you swore that you would be
I have questions,
I got questions haunting me
I have questions for you
I have questions, I have questions
I have questions for you"
I closed my eyes, trying to avoid Lauren's gaze.
"My, my name was safest in your mouth
And why'd you have to go, and spit it out?
Oh, and your voice was the most familiar sound
But it sounds so dangerous to me now."
I opened my eyes again, but Lauren was still staring.
'Of course she's staring; She knows who this song's about,' I thought.
"I have questions for you
Number one, tell me who you think you are
You got some nerve,
Trying to tear my faith apart
I have questions
Number two, why would you
Try and play me for a fool
I should have never, ever, ever
Trusted you
I have questions for you
I have questions for you
I have questions, I have questions
I have questions for you.
Do you care, do you care?
Why don't you care?
I gave you all of me,
My blood, my sweat, my heart,
And my tears,
Why don't you care, why don't you care?
I was there, I was there
When no one was,
And now you're gone, and I'm here
I have questions for you
I have questions, I have questions
I have questions for you."
I looked to my left and saw Ally and Normani standing off to the side smiling at me.
Ally walked out on stage and hugged me. "That was great! Camila Cabello, everyone!"
The audience was cheering loudly and I looked towards Lauren. Her seat was empty.
I sighed and smiled at the audience before going backstage.
"You did amazing, Camila! Really! That was great!" Normani said, nudging my arm.
I shrugged. "Thank you. Really."
She nodded and Dinah appeared beside me. "That was awesome, dawg. Like seriously," she said with a wide smile.
"Thanks, D. That song means a lot to me," I said.
"Camila?"
I turned and saw Lauren walking slowly towards us.
"Lauren."
"Can we talk?"
I sighed and looked at dinah and Ally. Ally shrugged and Dinah frowned and crossed her arms.
"I guess..." I said, causing Lauren to smile slightly.
"We'll be back, guys," I mumble to my friends as Lauren takes my hand and leads me away.
Lauren led me to one of the dressing rooms and shut the door. "So... that song. It was... good," she said.
I nodded. "Yeah, well I had some inspiration."
Lauren looked down. "Camila... Camz..." Lauren hadn't called me that since... I can't even remember. "Was that sing about....."
She didn't finish her question, but I knew what she was asking.
"Yes," I said.
"Camz, I'm so sorry," she said, avoiding eye contact. "I feel like shit. I didn't know how much I had hurt you. Fuck, I'm so sorry..."
I shook my head. "It's... It's okay, I guess. It's not like it's your fault I fell in love with you."
She looked up at me, but didnt say anything.
"Are you just gonna stare at me, or is that all?" I asked after two minutes of awkward, silent staring.
"You may slap me for asking this, but can I kiss you?" She asked.
My eyes widened.
Well that was straight to the point.
"Uh..."
"I know I hurt you. I know that's a stupid thing to ask considering what I've done to you. I know you probably hate me for hurting you like this. But... I realized something," she said, licking her lips. "I realized that I saw you everywhere. Not in a creepy, stalker-ish way. I find myself constantly looking for you. Everyone I've been interested in, I realized they all have one thing in common. They're like you. None of them can replace you though, which is why I can't seem to settle down. Everytime I see you, I just... my heart beats uncontrollably. I know I'm most likely way too late, but... I want you. I want us. I was confused and stupid. I should never have messed with your feelings. Please, give me the chance to prove to you my feelings are real. I promise you, if you do give me a chance, I will never hurt you intentionally. Yes, I may screw up from time to time. But never will I purposefully hurt you. Please, Camz."
I stare at Lauren, unsure of how to react or what to say. I didnt expect this. Not at all. Not ever. But here we are.
"Lauren... I don't know what to say. I have literally so many questions..."
She looked at me, eyes filled with hope. My heart melted, and I knew I couldn't say no to her.
"Okay."
She raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Okay? As in... You'll give me a chance?"
I nodded and she smiled. She pulled me into a tight embrace.
"I promise you will not regret this."
'God, I hope not,' I thought as I hugged the green-eyed girl back.