They say that life goes on and wounds heal in time.
Well, it's been 5 years now. I've been watching. Watching her every moment making sure she was alright. Making sure she was safe. It's been a while for her. It took some time for her to heal. But she did, maybe not completely but she was getting there.
Jen arrived with Eleanor, Perrie, Sophia, and Justin. She was wearing my old hoodie. That actually made me smile that these four classy ladies were in line with our Directioners for the concert. She used to be so afraid of the lights. But now, I saw her as brave as she can be. She now didn't mind the flickering lights. How could she now with all the attention she's been getting? For the past three and a half years Justin Bieber has been trying to go out with Jen. Just six months ago, she finally decided to give him a try at it. I remember seeing his face light up from joy. Those six months may have well been the best for Jen for the past 5 years. I needed to learn to let go and let her fall in love as she wished, but maybe she wasn't falling as hard as I hoped for her. She's been taking everything real slow, but progress was still coming. He's been making her laugh, smile and most of all happy. I loved to see that.
She decided to come to the concert after all it's been 5 years. They've hadn't had a concert since and this was their first one in years. Justin kissed her forehead as they walked to our room with their backstage pass IDs. Zayn kissed Perrie, Liam hugged Sophia, Louis met Eleanor half way, and Jen just stood there awkwardly looking at her friends she hasn't seen for years. I can see the pain in her eyes from the memories she had of me. I used to always kiss her before every concert. She'd always say,"Good luck babe." I walked up to her and whispered into her ear,"I miss you more than you could ever know..." She must have felt cold because she crossed her arms around her chest. I wanted to hug her but I knew my presence wasn't warmth enough. Luckily, Justin wrapped his around from behind her. She gave him a faint smile. I watched Niall stare at his shoes probably thinking how lucky he is to have her... Things haven't only been rough for Jen but for Niall as well. He has to learn to move on and I'm not quite sure if he has been successful at that. Watching her be with someone beside him, yes was painful, but it didn't really signify that he was moving on.
Niall's POV
Not so long the concert started. Through out every song, I've kept a watchful eye at Jen. I've been told how happy Justin has been making her. She didn't look so happy now because something was different. It was already in the vibe. The fans knew it, we knew, Harry knew it.
5 years is a pretty long time... But was it enough to let the pain go away? For wounds to heal and to move on? I wanted to know if it really a true saying that your struggles make you stronger. I didn't feel any stronger. In fact I felt weaker. Seeing in the papers, online the new cutest couple in Hollywood wasn't me and Jen, but her and someone else...
We then started singing 'More Than This'. This song brought back bad memories. Liam started it off restraining himself so tears won't fall down. I spotted Jen in the crow with her glow stick. She didn't wave it like she used to. That was her favorite part of our concerts. She just stared blankly at the big screen of pictures of Harry. All the memories of Harry Edward Styles. I even remembered the first time she went to our concert and yelled in the audience,"I love you Harry Styles!" And caught Harry off guard making him slip onstage. We all laughed and continued on, everyone thinking it was cute of Harry.
I then sang Harry's solo. "When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight, it just won't feel right. Cause I can love you more than this. When he lays you down and I might just die inside, it just don't feel right. Cause I can love you more than this, can love you more than this..."
Jen's POV
I've been trying not to cry ever since I got here. I finally got to see the guys in years. Not too long before the concert started they started singing 'More Than This'. I didn't wave my glow stick around. I was frozen in my on two feet. It was until Niall singing Harry's solo in which I suddenly bursted out sobbing. The powerful lyrics hitting my heart. I was about to shatter. I didn't want to be here, too many bad memories. I turned around and felt Justin's hand grab my arm. I looked up at him and shook my head gently. "I can't." I choked on tears and ran off.
Jen where the hell are you going? Stop crying, please, please don't cry. I ran with her, watching over her and making sure that she'll be safe.
I went into my car and started the engine. I got into the car with her at the passenger side. As I drove off into the highway, I looked at my rear view mirror and noticed my blotched face. My eyes were red and puffy they hurt. I turned on the radio to get my mind off of the song. I smiled as they announced a song. "Throwback Thursday Directioners! Remember this old song you used to cry to? Now grab out your tissues and ice cream because this one's an emotional one."
'More Than This' started playing and I saw Jen's facial expression dropped from relieved to sad. Her lips started quivering and all I could do was lay my head down on her shoulder and whisper,"It's alright Jen. It's alright."
'More Than This' started to play and tears streamed harder down my face. It started to ran even harder and I turned on my windshield wipers. I could barely see a thing with my tears covering my eyes and the rain. The song went to Harry's solo and I totally flipped out. I heard his voice. His voice. I never have heard him in 5 years. But this was an old song he was singing. He wasn't here with me.
Jen started to cry again which killed me no pun intended. I leaned in to her and wiped her tears, but knowing I couldn't do anything. Her stream of tears started to become rivers then floods as the song went on. It was pouring cats and dogs and the windshield wipers did no good. My solo came on and she flipped out. She had let go of the wheel and covered her face, sobbing in her own hands.
I was sobbing into my hands. I felt the car lose control and went lane to lane until I finally crashed into another car. All I remembered was being rushed to the hospital on a stretcher. My arm hanging loosely on the side and my eyes fluttering shut.
I couldn't do anything about it. I didn't do anything about it. All I could do was follow and pray for the best.
Niall's POV
Justin received a call that Jen was in the hospital. What!? We automatically finished up the song we were singing and said our last farewell since this was a special concert only to Celebrate the 5th Anniversary of Harry's passing. "This was way too hard to go through as a whole family, but remember to stay strong. Harry would have liked that." Liam said casually and we all said our good byes to the audience.
"What had happened?" I asked Justin nervously. I was about to have an anxiety attack.
"She ran away during the 'More Than This' song. She told me,'I can't' when she heard you singing Harry's solo," We got into Justin's car and he speeded through the high way to the hospital. When we got there, my impulsive instincts kicked in and I yelled at the nurse at the desk. "JEN GOMEZ PLEASE. WHERE IS HER ROOM?"
"I don't like the way you're talking to me Mister." I glared at her and balled up my fist,"Why I outta---"
"Niall calm down!" Louis restrained me from choking the lady. "Will you kindly show us to her room?"
"Sure this way." She led us down the hall and we turned a left then a right. "You can sit over here." She pointed to the couple of seats outside of the room. I stared into the window and saw the doctors doing their work. She was bleeding from the side of her head. One of the doctors saw me looking and closed the tiny shutters. I didn't get to see her all night...
Niall, Justin, Liam, Louis, and Zayn all sat outside waiting nervously so they could see Jen. I walked through the door and prepared myself. I inhaled and exhaled. It wasn't like I was breathing anything though. She laid on the hospital, her head wrapped in bandages. She was hooked up to a lot of machines. Nutrients she needed. The doctors were sterilizing the tools and one was checking his papers on his clipboard. I sat down on the chair beside her and took her hand. Oh god, I prayed. Please. Please let her live. If you need to take a life away, please just send me to hell to suffer. I'd rather it be me than her. "It's not fair." I remember Jen saying every night in bed before she went to sleep. I was always watching her and I'd kiss her forehead, but she didn't felt a thing.
The doctors went out of the room and the last one said that they were all invited to come inside but only one can stay inside the room afterwards.
"Is she alright?" Justin asked worried filled his eyes.
"She is, but not so well. As you can see." he pointed to the monitor. "her heart rate is really slow. It might stop all together and..."
"She might die." I whispered out hoping no one would hear me, but they did. Louis started to tear up, and Zayn patted his back. I couldn't believe that Jen might die. I prayed hard to God. Please don't make take her so soon.
"Ni?" I heard Jen call. Her eyes started to flutter open. She hasn't called me Ni in years! I ran up to her bed.
"Yes, Jen?" I asked eagerly. "Do you need anything? Tell me and I'll get it for you." she slowly shook her head and gave me faint smile.
I backed up and gave Justin some room to be with Jen. He was the one to make her happy for the past few months. Even before that he's been trying to get closer to her and make her open up. I knew she was put in positions in which she didn't know how to get out of. But she prayed every night trying to get an answer from me. "Do I go for it Harry? He's made me so happy." and other prayers she'd said," I'm afraid of falling in love again. Is it right?" Justin sat on the chair and held her hand in his. He kissed it and closed his eyes praying.
I was able to hear his prayer.
I didn't want her to die. Liam, Louis, Zayn and I all sat outside. Liam and Zayn fell asleep whereas me and Louis were wide awake afraid that something bad might happen. Like any instinct our guts told us something terrible was lurking to happen. "Niall?" Louis looked up at me, his head almost being entirely covered by his hoodie. "What? I replied tiredly. I desperately wanted to sleep, but i couldn't. "Do you think Jen might end up like Harr--"
"Don't say that Louis." I interrupted.
"But what if she just... dies?" I stared at him and his eyes were milky with tears. He was pretty tired too. Jen was always like a little sister to him and Jen was always a n only child, so i could understand why he cared so much about her.
"Then..." I didn't know. I just won't be prepared for that." I just don't know, Louis." I stared at Jen through the window. The doctor had already opened the shutter and I was able to see Justin laying his head on Jen's shoulder as they both slept peacefully. I knew he loved Jen and I knew that I can never be with her. I love her more than anyone, anything and more than anyone ever could. But if I'm not the best for her, then I guess I can't fight with that. I should stop interfering. As soon as Justin wakes up, I'm going to tell him that Jen truly found someone special.
I watched Jen. I always have. I couldn't stop making sure that she's safe. Now she's in the hospital with the possibility of dying. I didn't want her to die. Not so soon. Not after regaining her life back. All of a sudden Justin jolted up by a loud sound. we both looked at the monitor simultaneously and it was a flat line. He panicked and called out for some help.
I felt a jolt up on my body and I was awake. I saw doctors running in the room and I turned to see Liam, Zayn and Louis all awake too. They looked just as confused as me. I got up and looked in through the window. Justin was pushed aside so they can shock Jen with the cardiac defibrillator.
I stared at the monitor with shock and anxiety. The boys and I didn't utter a word. The scene was painful for us to watch because we knew her chances of living. I closed my eyes and prayed for the best.
I heard their prayers. Oh lord, please don't make this innocent girl die. Please don't take her life away so soon. A tear dropped from my left eye as I heard their pleading words of prayer. They did truly love her and I couldn't ask any more for their love and support. Louis, Liam, Zayn, and Niall. My best friends. Jen was shocked again for the last time and there was still that flat line.
"Harry?" I said looking at my dead love. I was sitting up on the hospital bed. I got up onto my feet." It's been too long."
"Oh my god, Jen." He looked so upset. I didn't understand this. Was this a dream?
"Harry am I--" his facial expression went from a slight smile to a frown. I looked at Justin. He was crying at my side. I bend down and whispered,"it's alright Justin. I'm still with you." I patted his back, but I knew he couldn't feel anything.
Niall, Liam, Louis, and Zayn ran inside despite the doctors orders for them to stay out. Louis collapsed on the floor, Zayn tried to help him onto his feet, but he reluctantly refused and cried. Liam looked away wanted to rip all the hairs off of his body, and Niall stood still looking at my body. I cried looking at all the people I love grieve over me. "Please stop." I whispered breathlessly.
I felt Harry's strong arms wrap around me from behind. I stared up at him. "I didn't want to die..."
"I know." He looked down at me. "I didn't want you to die either. You had so much to live for." I understood what he meant. I was regaining my whole life back since his death. I was learning to make mistakes again, to fall in love again, to live again. I was recovering, but now I was... gone. I was now a soul to linger on Earth watching my loved ones or a soul to be up in heaven.
"I want to watch over them." I pointed to them. I saw the pain in all of their eyes. I wanted their smiles.
"Of course. We can."
"I love you." I didn't know if heard Justin's sweet voice say that or another person in the room. The nurse then put the blanket over my dead body.