C h a p t e r 19
Nagtaas ng kilay si Sari, kibit balikat naman akong ngumisi at pinaglaruan na lang ang hawak na ballpen. The transferee sat in the middle seat, beside our beloved president. He's the most trusted person here, if only my pride didn't got into me, baka ako pa ang tumayo para lang makatabi ni Sari ang lalaki na iyon.
"You have a lot of stories to tell..." Bulong ni Sari, I laugh a little as I stopped playing with my pen. Aleana looked at us with too much curiosity. "I just can't accept that, you have to tell us more..."
"Bakit?" Aleana asked. "What is it? I can't let you two go on while I'm clueless..."
Sari wasn't able to continue what she was saying when our teacher began explaining the overview of the subject, we're back at the great research in daily life. If only we can beg God to spare us! Pinapakinggan ko pa lang ay sumasakit na ang ulo ko.
The last three subjects of the morning class happened just like the first one. Ang aming mga bagong guro ay nagpakilala, we didn't do the traditional introduce yourself mantra where students are tasked to stand in front, instead, we were tasked to write our names on an index card, and voila! Tapos na!
Lunchtime came, some of our classmates hurriedly went out. In the corner of my eyes, I saw how our great president convince the transferee to join them for lunch.
"Sari, gusto mo makasabay?" Tanong ko sa kaibigan, kagat labi itong tumingin sa akin at tumango pa. "Alright, but you have to do me a favor in return..."
"What?" Isiniksik niya ang sarili sa gilid ko kaya naman gumuhit ang mapaglarong ngisi sa aking labi. "Dalian mo na, baka mamaya ay mapilit pa 'yan..." Impit na sigaw nito.
"Don't tell Hell what I told you," Tumaas ang kanyang kilay sa pagtataka, ngunit segundo lang ay pumayag na ito. I cleared my throat as I turned my gaze to Sari's sweet death.
"Mr. Venturina," Tawag ko. Their eyes drifted to me in an instant, ang ngiti sa mga labi ng mga kabarkadang babae ni Evans ay mabilis na nawala. "You can join my company for lunch, I heard your family's business deals with resto, my friend would love to initiate a talk..." Kinuha ko ang kamay ni Sari, halos hindi makapag-salita ang kaibigan ko.
Henry stood up, kinuha niya ang bag at tipid na ngumiti sa mga nag-aaya sa kanya.
"Sure," He said, ramdam ko ang pagbaon ng daliri ni Sari sa aking balat. Masama akong tumingin sa kanya habang ito ay mukhang namimilipit na.
The four of us went outside. Sa aking tabi ay si Sari na katabi si Henry, sa kanan ko ay si Aleana. Nagkatinginan kami at parehas na ngumisi, kung naririnig lang ang tibok ng puso ay baka ang tibok na lang ng kay Sari ang maririnig namin. As we went inside the cafeteria, we Immediately stole their attention.
Bulungan lang ang maririnig, nakakatawa dahil hanggang bulungan na lang sila. Sa karamihan ng tao ay hinanap ng mata ko ang tingin ni Hell, sa mesang lagi naming kinakainan ay kaagad ko siyang nakita.
"That's Hell Laurette, right?" Rinig kong sabi ni Henry habang lumalakad kami papalapit doon.
I looked at him with full curiosity, I suddenly want to ask how did he know but then a thought whispered to me, sino nga bang hindi makakakilala sa isang Laurette?
"Yes, he's my friend's boyfriend..." Mahinhin na sagot ni Sari. Nagkatinginan kami ni Henry, I assured him what my friend said with a nod.
Nagkasalubong ang tingin namin ni Hell, he was looking intensely at me before he laid his eyes on our new friend. His eyes then became darker.
The round table felt different. Naupo ako sa tabi ni Hell, sa kanan ko ay si Sari na katabi si Aleana. Beside Aleana is Henry, na katabi ni Hell.
Hell looked at me, betrayal is evident in his eyes.
"Henry, this is Hell Laurette. Hell, this is Henry Venturina..." Panimula ko, mabilis na lumipad ang tingin nito sa taong kinuyog namin at iniabot ang kamay.
With too much formality, Hell smiled a little at Henry as they shook each other's hands. Nagtanguan ang dalawa at nagkatinginan naman kaming magkakaibigan. Sumenyas ako sa kanila at marahan pang sinipa ang paa ni Sari mula sa ilalim ng mesa.
"My name is Aleana," Lahad ni Aleana ng kamay, sumunod naman si Sari na tila isang segundo na lang ay sasabog na. Is she this serious? Ah, I should not doubt that. She's a sucker for romance.
"I'm Sari... Wala kang kakilala rito?" Sari initiated the talk first and we let her be, Henry shook his head as a response. "That's too bold for you, then. You can join us, kung gusto mo lang..." Nilamukos ni Sari ang palda ko, si Aleana ay halos mamula kakapigil ng tawa.
"I'd love to," Henry replied, pinutol niya ang tinginan nila ni Sari at bumaling sa akin. He extended his arms. "I see, you're the heiress of the De Veras..." Bumaba ang tingin ko sa nakalahad nitong kamay.
"Oh, how'd you know?"
"My Dad's company is one of your holdings' subsidiaries..."
As I extended my arms to formally greet him, I immediately felt how Hell's right arm snaked into my waist, compressing my side into his chest. He disguised it as if he's looking at my back, ngunit ang totoo ay ginawa niya iyon para mailapit ang bibig sa aking tainga at malayang makabulong.
"Make it fast..." It's the first time he spoke since we all sat together. However, as I felt his warm breath into my neck, I felt tamed.
Wala pang tatlong segundo kong hinawakan ang kamay ni Henry at kaagad ding bumitiw. My whole system is tamed by Hell, my heart is enslaved only by Hell. Nakahanap na ng amo ang traydor kong puso.
"He's my boyfriend, Henry. The only son of Paul Laurette, if you know him too..." Henry slowly nodded as I said that, but I can sense that he is somehow perplexed.
"The media talks about it once, that was a boom. Pero hindi na naulit, so many people began drawing different conclusions..."
What our new acquaintance said was true, it was like a grenade in the industry. The first time Hell and I appear in the public together, it became a large talk for almost a week. It was no joke when the media even surround us after school, in the main gate, just to get our statements. The hell, we're both young.
People just can't get enough because we both came from towering families, but my Mom is too good at controlling the media. They somehow stopped, I don't know how much she spent just to get rid of them but I won't deny that she did it perfectly.
"Shall we order?" Hindi ko na nasagot ang sinabi ni Henry nang magsalita si Hell, I look intensely at him as he just stared at me with great conviction.
Inalis niya ang kamay na nakakapit sa akin, sabay kaming tumayo. I looked at both of my friends, they both look curious since Hell never order a food.
"Iwan muna namin kayo, we'll just order..." Natanaw kong naglabas ng pitaka mula sa wallet si Henry. "No, it's fine. All mine..." I looked at Hell, he raised his right brow as he shook his head.
Lumakad kami papunta sa counter, I am the one in the lane while he's beside me.
"You know him, Henry Venturina." He wasn't asking a question, it's a sure declaration.
"Kanina lang, he's our new classmate." His aura darkened, muli siyang tumingin sa gawi ng aming table kaya naman agad ko siyang tinapik. "I told you earlier, hindi ko siya kilala nor his family name."
When it was our turn, I was the one who chose our meals. Iniabot ko sa kanila ang isang cash, at ilang sandali lang ay ibinigay nila ang sukli. Bumalik kami sa mesa, sila na lang daw ang maghahatid dahil marami.
Nagkekwentuhan ang tatlo nang makabalik kami, napatingin sa akin si Sari at tinapik ko lang ang kanyang balikat.
"Nabanggit sa amin ni Henry, lagi raw siya sa year-end party. Tita Aeryn always bring you there too, right?" Aleana asked, I nodded a little. "Ikaw din Hell?" Sa kanyang sinabi ay natigil ako, napatingin ako kay Hell na tipid na ngumiti.
I turned to Aleana with a meaningful look, but she didn't get it. Based on what Mom said, Tito Paul is a very private person, most especially, when it comes to family.
"Hindi pa ako nakakapunta, not even once." Hell shortly said, I cleared my throat.
Sandaling natigil ang usapan nang dumating ang aming pagkain, kinuha ko ang amin ni Hell at ganoon din sina Sari.
"Why, if you won't mind, Mr. Laurette?" Henry asked formally, sandaling tumingin sa kanya si Hell at tipid na ngumiti. That's a miracle.
"It'll just be about business, I'm not a man of the industry so I always refuse to come..."
"It's bothersome, too. So, I understand. The fact that some families intend to bring their children to bargain for business is just too much..." Tila tumigil ang lahat sa lumabas sa bibig ni Henry. "If you two will come, maybe it would be different..."
"We have two powerful families here as one and the fact that it's not about a business will surely make a difference. Hurricane is not a bargain after all..." I smiled at Sari because of what she said, I felt how she caress my hand under the table. What a save, I thought.
Narinig ko ang pagsinghap ni Aleana, Henry smiled at Sari and nodded. Naramdaman ko ang malambot na paghaplos ni Hell sa aking buhok, nang lumipad ang tingin ko sa kanya ay doon ko lang napagtanto na nakatitig na siya sa akin.
"Hurricane and I will come this year..."
I was too shocked that I can't even force a smile, but at the same time, I couldn't stop staring at him either. In an instant, what Hell said occupied my system.
"That's nice, I'll see you there, then..." Sagot ni Henry, sumimsim ito sa kanyang tubig at tipid lang din na ngumiti sa akin.
Maybe Hell doesn't want to go, but he was again forced to come with me. Maybe Tito Paul already told him and he just can't decline his Father. My thoughts are full of maybes, it was full of Hell. I want to protest, if he doesn't want to go, it's alright for me.
"What really pushed you to transfer, Henry?" Dahil sa itinanong ni Aleana ay natigil na ang pag-uusap tungkol sa year-end party.
"Boredom," Natawa sina Aleana at Sari sa kanyang sagot. Iba ito sa sinabi niya kanina sa aming guro.
We started eating while I let them entertain Henry, he looks fine for my friends unlike the first time they dine with Hell. I stayed quiet, nakikingiti lang ako at sandaling tumatango. Si Hell naman ay maiigsi ang sagot kapag nababaling sa kanya ang usapan, alam kong may dapat kaming pag-usapan at sigurado akong ramdam niya rin.
The day escalated quickly after lunch, kung anong nangyari noong umaga ay ganoon din sa hapon. Henry Venturina caught some of our teachers' attention, lagi itong tinatanong kung bakit siya lumipat. Ang isinagot niya sa aming guro kaninang umaga ay ganoon din ang isinagot niya sa iba, palihim ang aming ngisi dahil alam namin ang totoo.
Dumating ang uwian, sumabay sa amin na lumabas si Henry. Sari seems to like it so Aleana and I will just leave that for her. As we went outside, I immediately saw Hell.
"Mauuna na kami, Hurricane?" May halong pagtatanong sa boses ni Sari, nilingon ko siya at pare-parehas na silang nakatingin sa akin. "May utang ka pa sa amin, sa tingin mo ay kailan ka pwede?" I thought she already have forgotten about it.
"Maybe on the weekend," Maikli kong sabi, I turned to Henry and smiled a little. "Ingat kayo, mukhang magiging laman kayo ng hallway bukas." Biro ko, natawa naman ito habang kamot ang batok.
"Pare-parehas naman na sa parking lot ang punta namin, will people make it a big deal?" Natawa si Aleana at tumango. Tinapik niya pa ang balikat nito kaya matalim ang naging tingin ni Sari sa kanya.
"People are just like that, Henry..." Sari said, he nodded with a conviction. He's, no doubt, friendly.
Hindi na rin sila nagtagal at tuluyan nang lumakad, hinintay ko munang makalayo sila bago ko hinarap si Hell. To my surprise, he's already staring at me, both of his hands are on his pocket and he looks like a god when some of the strand of his har fell into his forehead because of the wind.
"Kanina ka pa?"
"Not really," Nakita kong muling inilipad ng hangin ang kanyang buhok, mukhang hindi maganda ang wisyo ng panahon. The sun's blocked with a thick clouds, maybe it'll rain.
Lumapit ako sa kanya at tuluyang sinakop ang pagitan naming dalawa, itinaas ko ang kamay at hinawi ang mga hibla ng kanyang buhok na bumagsak sa kanyang noo. Akala ko ay madali kong maayos ngunit agad din itong bumabagsak.
"Mahaba na..." Ibinaba ko na ang kamay, He always styles it sideways so the strand won't fall on his forehead, he looks like the young Leonardo DiCaprio when he does that. Only that his hair is jet-black, it's soft too.
"Let's trim it?" Naibalik sa kanya ang tingin ko, I was about to offer that actually. Pwede naman kaming dumaan sa salon, pero kung iyon ang gusto niya... Bakit hindi?
"Sure," Tumaas ang gilid ng kanyang labi sa aking pagpayag.
Inilabas niya ang isang kamay mula sa bulsa at inilahad iyon sa akin. Bumagsak ang mga mata ko roon, halatang nag-aalangan kung tatanggapin ba. I gaze upon him once again only to realize that he's already staring at me. I extended my arms to reach him, I let my fingers fit in the spaces between his.
"Let's go home," I whispered. He nodded as I felt how he tighten the grip. Home, surely it is. And home is where you feel the sense of belongingness. You don't have to ask if you belong, because you are.
"Alright..." He mumbled as we started walking.
The busy corridor didn't bother me, neither the eyes of the crowd. They were mumbling and looking sharply, yet, it didn't flinch me at all.
We went to the parking lot, he only let go of my hands when I hopped in. Umikot ito at ilang segundo lang ay nakapasok na rin, he started the engine as I fasten my seatbelt. We both fell into silence as the car moves forward, it wasn't a long road so I didn't feel uncomfortable unlike when we went home from Caricia Añoranza.
As we reached home, he went straight to our bedroom and I went to the kitchen to drink a glass of water. I lean my back at the sink, my eyes are just on the wall. Should I talk to him about the yuletide ball? I want to know if Tito Paul asked him about it, kung tama nga ang hinala ko ay pwede ko naman siyang kausapin tungkol doon.
Umalis ako sa kusina at sumunod sa kanya sa itaas, nang pumasok ako sa kwarto ay kaagad kong narinig ang tunog ng tubig na dumadaloy mula sa shower. Habang nasa loob siya ay sinamantala ko naman ang pag-iisa sa loob, tinanggal ko ang suot na coat at necktie. I wore an oversized shirt and a cycling short.
Habang inaayos ko ang mga pinagbihisan ay kasabay naman nang paglabas niya mula sa banyo. Tila lumilipad sa hangin ang bagong ligo nitong amoy, we're not using the same brand, but I've always like his his after bath scent. It hits different for me.
As I turned my gaze at him, I immediately gaze away too. He's already wearing a gray sweatshort but he's still topless, it's not the first time I've seen his well-built body, but I am still not use to it. Luluhod ang mga diyos ng Griyego at Romano sa katawan niya, tila ang pinakamahusay na iskultor sa mundo ang humulma 'non.
"Shall we trim it now? Dry it a little, it's too wet..." Halos pabulong kong sabi, lumakad ako papunta sa aking drawer at kinuha ang gunting at suklay. "I'm not an expert, so if I fail, we can go to a salon..." I continued.
"Oh don't mess up, please..." He laugh a little, even that goddamn laugh echoed in my ears.
I went inside the bathroom, he followed me there too. The four corners of the room were immediately filled with his scent, breathing became difficult for me when it's the easiest goddamn thing to do. If I'd die in suffocation because of his after-bath scent, papayag ako.
I plugged the blower, he went in front of me and lean a little so I can easily reach him. It was uncomfortable, he's just a bit taller than me but still, I have to look up a little. His hair just needs a little drying, hindi maganda ang masyadong basa.
Sa mga unang segundo ay hindi ko ramdam ang pagkangawit, ngunit nang tumagal iyon ng minuto ay naibaba ko na lang ang blower.
"Bumaba ka pa," I demanded, he smirked as he grabbed my waist and lift me.
Iniupo niya ako sa tabi ng sink kasabay nang pagpwesto niya sa aking harapan. I want to tell him to, at least, fucking wear a shirt but I'm quite hesitant. Ayaw kong isipin niya na sobra akong apektado.
"Better?" Iwas mata akong tumango, dahil doon ay naging magkalebel kami. I continue drying his hair, nang matantsa kong hindi na ito sobrang basa ay itinigil ko na.
I gently caress his hair with my fingers, as I slowly do that, I felt how he occupied the small remaining space between us. Finally resting his hand on my side, looking at me in the eye as if he's devouring my existence while I'm trying to focus my gaze on his hair.
"About what you told the group earlier, ayos lang ba talaga sa iyo? You know, I can come alone if you're uncomfortable with the media..." Mahina kong sabi.
I start combing his hair, sa isang kamay ko ay naglalaro ang gunting.
"The media are disturbing, Hell. If you don't want to be bugged by their unending questions, I don't mind going alone..."
I started trimming the tip of a small strand of his hair, iyong humahawi sa kanyang noo. Ang titig nito ay hindi man lang naalis sa akin at ang mga mata ko ay hindi man lang tinanaw ang kanya.
"At kung ganoon, papanoorin na lang kitang guluhin ng mga 'yon?" Tumango ako. "Hindi, ayaw ko. Pupunta tayong dalawa..."Huminga ako nang malalim, nanatiling malambot ang bawat haplos ko sa kanyang buhok.
"Did someone ask you to do so?" For the first time since he occupied the small space between us, I looked at him.
He didn't flinch, I think I will never make him tremble with my presence, and that made me wonder how can he make me quiver in one gaze.
"Even if someone didn't, I won't hesitate to come with you. We both come together, or we both won't. Iyon lang 'yon, Hurricane..." It was almost a whisper, I can't stand his deep voice. Kung nakatayo kami ngayon ay baka nabuwal na lang ako.
"Did Tito Paul threaten you? And what did he tell you?"
"He won't be able to threaten me unless I let him to," Mabilis nitong sagot, natigil ako at ibinaba ang kamay. Ni hindi ko pa natatapos ang ginagawa.
Didn't you let him, months ago? This arrange marriage was his last resort for you at iyon ang hindi ko maintindihan, how can this be his last choice? Sa kung paano mo kayang patunayan sa kanya ang pagiging anak mo? Halaga? Pagkatao? I want to know, I want to ask but fuck, I just can't.
I want to protest. But then, another voice whispered. You can drain the hell out of me. I won't fucking mind, ubusin mo ako, I don't fucking care. If this means justifying your worth, we will surely do it. It was what the heart wants and what's on my mind was blocked by it.
"Is Tito Paul going to be there?" He nodded. I continue trimming his hair, sa isang galaw ay nagawa kong mas lumapit sa kanya. It made me sit almost on the edge of the sink. It's my answer.
His hand reached for my hair, combing it with his mighty fingers. It was soothing.
"Don't mess it up," Tipid akong ngumiti at umiling. Pinagbutihan ko ang ginagawa.
Wala na akong ibang naririnig kung hindi ang sigaw ng puso, sa kawalan ng espasyo sa pagitan naming dalawa ay nahanap ko ang kapayapaan. Minsan pang namulat ang aking mata, it was the truth that I saw. The fact that I like him, or maybe more than that too. It was one of the stupid thing we do for love, exhaust me... I don't mind at all.
My mind was blocked, my heart was freed. And it was something I should be afraid of because I don't want to close my eyes ever again. Gusto ko siya, iyon ang totoo.