'The only satisfaction that I feel is when I'm not pretending anymore'
I don't own any of Riverdale, only my characters.
MY CHEST FELT TIGHT FROM RUNNING. I sprinted into my house, yelling for my mother before I heard the soft, yet raspy response from the bathroom upstairs. She was crying hysterically, her head in her hands and lying on the floor. My eyes softened as I approached. "Mom, are you okay?" I asked.
She slowly pulled her hands from her face, revealing a purpling bruise formed around her neck, moulded in the shape of hands.
Anger coursed like battery acid in my veins, my eyes narrowing into dark slits upon looking at his handy work. My father, it was his signature.
I felt my throat become clear of salvia, and pure air burnt up the flesh. "I'm going to kill him" I growled standing to my feet, only for my mother to lunge at me, gripping my hands tightly like she was begging. "No don't Anna, it'll only make things worse" mom sobbed, pulling me back down to floor.
My eyebrows furrowed as she gripped my hands, begging me not to do anything. "No mom, he can't keep doing this to you. He doesn't get the right to do it, maybe we should get Mar-"
"-Don't!" mom snapped cutting me off, "don't say his name, don't even think about bringing him back here. Not while your father is living under this roof"
"Mom" I sighed, as her hands gripped me tighter.
"Anna, I'm fine" she whispered wiping her tears and standing up, she turned to me a small smile on her lips. "How was your date?" She asked her whole attitude changing within seconds.
"It was okay" I said quietly, not wanting to talk about my 'date' if that is what you'd call it, but the abuse caused by my father.
"Just okay?" Mom questioned, "mom are you still taking your medication?" I asked.
Her smile turned into a scowl as she looked at me, "why would you bring that up?" she snarled.
"Mom, are you still taking them?" I said more sternly, "they make me bloated, so no I'm not" I rolled my eyes at her.
"You're worried about your appearance more than your mental health" I snapped, "don't snap at me Annabelle, you shouldn't worry about me" she said, her voice turning softer. Tears began pooling once more and she latched onto me, sobbing into my jacket. I sighed and patted her head softly, kissing the top of her hair an holding her tightly as I blinked tears away.
This was happening too often, dad would hit mom, mom would cry then pretend everything's alright when it sure as shit isn't. She'll smile and act the perfect part of the loving wife and mother until it'll eventually break her. It'll snap at her kindness and softness, before rendering them harsh and cold until there's nothing left. This was the life she condemning herself to, forcing herself to live this way, and I don't know if she realises what's its going to her.
She's no alright, not mentally.
I don't truly know what's wrong with mom, and my father never talks about it, and whenever I question, mom denies all. But I knew, in some way I knew. I've checked what pills she takes; lithium, mood stabilisers and antidepressants. I read that it treats people with bipolar disorder, she does show symptoms of it, the mood swings, the days when she doesn't even want to get out of bed. When she argues with dad, how sad and lonely she looks. What scares me most is what she might do one day, because she'll never be just fine, she'll always be up and done, hot and cold until it eventually either helps her, or destroys her.
But what I'm most afraid of, is that one day, I'll end up like my mother.
---
Another day of school, only I was looking forward to today. Because I know Jughead will be there, he always is, I want to apologise to him for running off like that. Hopefully he won't ask for the whole story.
I walked through the halls, sipping my coffee. You could feel the 'grief' in the air, I use quotations because most of it is a show, so everyone doesn't seem so heartless. Turns out Kevin Keller, while on a little field trip with Moose stumbled upon Jason's body down by the river, with a bullet through his skull. Jesus Christ.
My thoughts were cut off by a familiar grey beanie catching my eye.
I smiled and began walking over to Jughead, but then I saw Reggie barge into Jughead's shoulder "watch it Wednesday Addams" Reggie laughed hysterically.
Pure annoyance ran through my veins as I stormed over to Reggie, "Anna, hey-"
Oh, I wonder what cut him off. I'm sure it wasn't because I just drove my knee right into his balls.
"Jesus Christ" he groaned grabbing his balls, "oops sorry, accident" I smirked I bent down and whispered into his ear "touch Jughead again and it won't just be your tiny balls hurting" I then skipped off my smirk still evident.
I found Jughead standing by his locker, he was shifting through his books. I walked over there and leant against the locker next to his crossing my arms over my chest.
"Surprise" I smiled, "hey, Anna" he smiled back.
"I really want to say sorry about last night, my mom almost set the house on fire" I lied hiding it with a soft chuckle. "It's okay, um. Do you wanna go out another time?" He asked.
"I'd love to" I grinned giving him a big toothy smile, "can we go to the drive-in, like you suggested?" I asked excited "I never been there before and I really want to".
"You've never been to the drive-in?" Jughead said his mouth agape.
I shook my head with a grin "my dad hates that sort of thing"
"What? classic movies probably from his day and age?"
"No, family time" I said sticking my bottom lip out, "but we should go" I added.
"And we will, that is ridiculous that you've never been there before. It's like my home away from home" Jughead said he shut his locker and we began walking to our classes.
"My mom always told me about it, but whenever I asked if we could go she said that dad wouldn't want to go. But at the same time she never wanted to go, I don't know my moms weird" I shrugged tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.
Jughead grinned as we moved down the hall. "Well your in luck, since I can put any movie I want in, including a favourite movie you told me about. 'Pulp Fiction' wasn't it?" Jughead said with a teasing tone.
I beamed with happiness "yes! Oh, my god, can you really play that?!" I squealed excitedly jumping on the spot.
"Yeah, I'm in charge of the projector so I can pick anything" Jughead grinned at my reaction.
"That, that would be amazing" I said, my grin widening from ear to ear. He went to open his mouth but the bell rang cutting him off, "I'll see you in science" I smiled "I'll see you there" he smiled back.
I turned the corner away from Jughead, but as I walked I turned around and flashed him a genuine grin and a small wave. He waved back before heading off to his class.
God save me from the feelings I am consuming, my heart felt so tight when I was with him and every time he smiled I felt it loosen and flutter. Like, he's amazing, and downright attractive, and decent enough to not look at my ass like most guys. What I like the most is that he's different, and I think I need something different.
He may be a little bit of a loner but who cares so am I, and may I just add I freaking love his beanie!! When I tried it on it was the most comfortable thing I've ever worn on my head. And his jackets look so warm and cozy, ugh I want one.
I wonder if he likes me back, God give me strength if he doesn't. The fear of rejection is painful and literally snaps at my heart strings, but I don't know if he does, if he doesn't we could still be friends but if he does hopefully something will happen.
I can only hope.
---
"Seats everyone, pair up, gloves on scales up" the teacher yelled as he hurried into the classroom.
"I'm with Jughead" I called moving down the front where he was sitting.
"So, I was thinking, that maybe I'll play the movie this week. Considering the rating of 'Pulp Fiction' my boss wants it played when no kids are around" Jughead suggested moving his books over so mine could fit on the desk.
"That sounds good, I'm fine with seeing it on a weekday" I grinned as I slipped a pair of gloves on, I picked up the scalpel and examined the dead toad.
"So, shall I slice the toad open or would you like to?" I asked raising my eyebrows waving the scalpel around, "the floor is yours" Jughead answered gesturing for me to go.
I hid my cringe of disgust, trying not to gag at the squishy animal in front of me. I slowly pressed the scalpel into it's belly, restraining from dry-reaching at the feeling of it's body begin to crush under the weight. I managed to slice it down the stomach before cringing "this is disgusting" I said scrunching my nose up.
"Dissecting a toad?"
"No the toad itself"
I am absolutely disgusted by the very nature of toads, frogs I can handle, but toads, hell to the no.
"Are you afraid?" Jughead teased "no" I chuckled beginning to dissect the toad "I hate them, their skin is all bubbly and gross. Ew" I shuddered scrunching my face up.
I think I cut something wrong because some goo popped out of the toad, but luckily it went away from Jughead and I and landed on one of Cheryl's minions pristine white top. I stifled a laugh as she didn't notice the goo on her shirt, Jughead chocked back a laugh.
"I think maybe you should do the dissecting?" I said pausing him the scalpel, "yeah that's probably for the best" Jughead replied carefully sliding the scalpel out of my palm.
"I've just realised that you had brown eyes" Jughead smiled looking into my eyes, I raised an eyebrow at him. "How didn't you realise that?" I asked, he sucked on the bottom of his lip and shrugged. "Guess I never get to be this close to you"
Did it just get hot in here? Or was it just him?
Either way, my cheeks must look like tomato's by how red they felt.
"Well, you're in luck. Because not many people are aloud to get close to the notorious, Annabelle Underwood" I grinned nudging him with my shoulder to purposely get closer. Jughead smiled at either my contact or my words, either way was happy. "I guess I'm just special then" Jughead smiled, my smile grew into a large grin. "Yeah, maybe you are" I said softly, I felt a little spark hit us. Like fireworks shock through our bodies, never in my life have I wanted to be around someone as much as I want to be around Jughead.
Then his cheeks reddened and I felt my heart thump widely in my chest, he turned to the toad and began dissecting it correctly while my eyes stayed directly on him studying every feature he had. The small moles he had, the freckles that dotted his skin, his black hair and blue eyes. The grey beanie that sat on his head, his pink lips and how his eyes squinted when he concentrated.
Jughead Jones, someone I never talk to and now I am hanging out with him and talking to him like we've been friends for years. What could go wrong?
A/N
Here's another chapter!! I was thinking that Anna and Jughead's ship name could be either.
Jugbelle or Annahead (which are terrible) but I also came up with Janna, which is way better btw. So comment, share or like. You decide what name you want, and stay tuned for the next chapter.