Sorry, adjective.
Not merely regret that you could have done better, but a determination to fix it.
Chapter fifty nine: Fixing Us
My hands were shaking a little as I pulled the sleeves of my jumper down over my hands. We'd just landed in England, and although I had not even left the plane yet, the weather seemed to creep in at me through my clothes. The only thing I liked about England's weather was how predictable it was. Frankly, Aussie weather is drunk, always has been. At least in England, you know what you're getting, even if they barely know what air conditioning is for.
Josh was waiting for me when I exited the airport, which was soon after I'd landed, since I'd only brought a backpack with me, and didn't need to pick up any luggage. He gave me a hug, which I returned warmly. It'd been six long months since I'd last seen him, and I had missed him, and all of the squad for that matter, more than I could ever say.
"Let's get going," said Josh. "I didn't say anything to the other guys about you coming, so they're probably wondering where I am."
"Okay, that's good, thank you," I nodded. "Hopefully I can surprise everyone, not just Simon." At the mention of Simon, I felt butterflies enter my stomach. I had assumed that Simon would be happy to see me - what if I'd assumed too much, and in his heart of hearts he really didn't want to talk to me for quite some time? I was only going on Josh's word, and Josh was convinced that Simon didn't want this any more than I did. But what if Josh was wrong too?
"Hey, quit worrying," Josh nudged me, knowingly. I hadn't realised I'd gone silent, and I sighed. "I know Simon is going to be happy to see you, it'll be okay, I promise."
"But... how can you promise that, Josh?"
"Trust me, I know you well, and I Simon too. Maybe not better than you, but I have known him for longer, and I'm also of an unbiased opinion. You guys are gonna be okay."
"I guess if you say it enough, I'll start to believe it," I smiled ruefully.
"Ah, well I'm gonna keep saying it then," he chuckled.
"They're all recording," said Josh, when we pulled up at the Sidemen house. "At least, they were when I left, I guess they still are. Just go in, okay?" I sat for a moment, looking at him. "It'll be fine Jord, go on," he assured me, for maybe the tenth time that day. I took a deep breath, and nodded.
"Thanks Josh. For everything."
"No problem," he nodded, sincerely. I opened the car door, and stepped out into the cold air. It quickly chilled me to the bone, and I lost no time in hurrying up the drive, and entering the house as fast as I could. Absolutely nothing had changed in here - it was still just as messy as it had ever been, and as I made my way upstairs, I passed what could only be all of Vik's washing hanging over the balustrades to dry. I knew it was cold and wet outside, and I guessed one of the others were using the clothes dryer already. I couldn't help but smile as I recognised the ridiculous pizza onesie, which all of the Pack guys had. I passed on, and headed up the stairs that led to Simon's room, and the spare room. When I reached the door, I paused. The familiar thoughts of doubt were creeping back again, and I shook my head, refusing to allow them to get the better of me. I didn't come all this way to chicken out, and go home again. I raised my hand, and knocked on the door.
"Come in," said Simon's voice, muffled through the door. I twisted the handle, and pushed the door open.
Simon was editing when I entered, and only glanced at me quickly, evidently assuming it was one of the guys. When he saw who it was, he stopped abruptly, his face snapping back to look at me again. Recognition, surprise, and pain flashed across his face quickly, but I caught the expression clearly, the last giving me more pain than he could ever understand. We stared at each other for a few moments. Simon was the first to speak.
"You...you're here?" He exclaimed, at last. "But...how?"
"I needed you," I explained simply, moving slowly towards him as I spoke. "I tried to tell you that, but you didn't let me explain, and I knew I needed to tell you in person, I..." I broke off, as he stood up, and pulled me into his arms. I fell into his embrace with relief, feeling tears come to my eyes. It had been so long since I'd felt his arms around me. "I'm so sorry," I whispered. He brought his hand to my chin, and tilted my my face to look at him. To my surprise, I saw tears falling from his eyes too.
"I love you, Jord. I'm sorry too," he said, before bringing my face closer to his, and smashing our lips together. It still felt exactly the same - passionate, and beautiful, but sweet, and innocent, and the same time. I tasted the salt of both of our tears, but we'd both finished crying now. Josh was right - everything was going to be okay. Simon rested his forehead on mine, breathing heavily.
"I'm a terrible person," I sighed. "How I ended up with an angel like you is beyond me."
"Jordyn," said Simon, in mild surprise. "You ditched your life's dreams to come and fix us, if that doesn't spell perfect, I don't know what does."
"Hun, you need some spelling lessons," I snorted, and we both dissolved into giggles. He picked me up, and spun me around, almost knocking his chair over in the process, and I squealed in laughter.
"And that, right there," he said, setting me down again, "is the girl I fell in love with. I guess I'll believe you now, that you need me to be there for you. I thought you didn't any more, but I guess I was wrong."
"I need you just as much as you need me," I replied seriously. "And I love you too. Promise me you won't forget it."
"I won't," he nodded.
A/N: YAY Simon's back! More cute fluff in the next chapter :)
Also, I just wanted to show you my editing because I'm lowkey proud of it! How cute is the watermelon diary it's got part 4 of Definitions in it (or will have, I've only used about 3 pages so far lol) and I'm so excited to write in it!! Story of a writers life haha. Write on paper kids, forces you to edit before you upload, and you get to fall in love with your notebooks along the way!
Also SPOILER ALERT there's a house plan on the editing page ;) wonder what that's for! ;););)
<3 Jordyn