ISABELLE.
I was pulled into a hug as soon as I stepped inside Parkers one bedroom apartment. Tears spilled uncontrollably as I held him tightly, sobbing against his chest.
I had called him, asking if I could spend the night here as Ash was right, I had nowhere else to go and driving to mums wasn't an option this late. It wasn't awkward for me to call him, we'd become good friends since I had begun dating Ash, and Parker was just like a brother to me.
It took everything in me not to turn around and drive back towards the house. I wanted nothing more than to run inside, tell him about the baby and work this all out. If only it could be that easy, the issues of Jenna were a main problem, and after tonight I didn't want to go back there if she hated me so much.
"What happened?" Parker finally asked, as we broke apart. I hadn't told him what had happened between Ashton and I. I half figured he may have called and told him, they were like brothers after all.
I looked, scanning the room for a tissue box to dry my eyes. My sleeves were already soaked from rubbing them on the drive here. The agony in my chest as I closed my eyes and tried to muster up the little courage I had to confess to Parker what the night had brought. "We had a fight. It was pretty bad."
I was grateful that he didn't ask anymore, he nodded and went into the kitchen as I made my way over towards the couch, I needed to sit down before my legs gave out. I tried not to think about the last time we had been here and walked in on an older woman riding Parker to kingdom come wearing nothing but fishnets and a leather corset. I'd slapped my hands so quickly over Ash's eyes as I dragged him out of the living room. It was a sight I didn't wish to see again.
My phone rang again, and like the last time, I ignored it. It hadn't stopped since I left. His texts were all the same. I wanted him to apologise and mean it, not just think I was over reacting. I couldn't be with someone who didn't want a child with me and I know he would have been happy about it, if Jenna hadn't of opened her mouth and thrown a hissy fit. It was that he said he didn't want one, and he would have only been forced to fake a happiness if I told him that I already was during the fight.
He probably wouldn't have believed me.
Parker was in the kitchen, preparing a mug of steaming hot tea as I sat comfortable on the couch, sniffling as I felt my heart cracking into pieces from tonight's argument. I just wanted to go back to where we were laying on the couch, snuggled up and happy.
Another text from Ash, and I had to tell him to just stop.
- I'm staying with a friend. Please don't make this harder for me.
I hoped he wouldn't question any further, asking who the friend was. He knows I haven't exactly kept my social calendar up to date since I took on the role of a full-time mother and my best friend Meg was travelling. She wanted me to come with her, and I wished I had of done now.
When Parker made his way over, joining me on the two-seater sofa, he handed the green mug over and sat back staring. "I thought this might calm you."
"Thank you so much for letting me stay." I didn't have anywhere else to go. I gazed down, feeling my sight blurring over once more. I felt pathetic.
"Don't thank me. You're welcome to stay as long as you like, umm but I wouldn't mind knowing why you're here for? I mean you said you fought, so maybe you'll work it out?" He asked, and I couldn't help but notice he was trying to look hopeful.
If only it was that easy. I dryly laughed, sitting the mug down on the wooden coffee table. "Trust me, this was the worst fight we've ever had and we never fight." I leant back, my head against the cushion. "I gave him a choice, and he made it. That's why I'm here."
"Isabelle, what happened?" he asked, the tone in his voice worrying.
"I asked him how he would feel about us having a baby together. He said it would be great." My smile soon faltered as I fought hard not to break back down again.
Parker looked beyond confused as he proceeded with caution. "Oh? What's the problem then?"
I sighed heavily. "Jenna overheard and made such a scene. It went from bad to worse when she told him just how much she hates me, and stormed off." I looked up, rolling my eyes. "He decides to go after her, trying to calm Jenna down. When he came back, he'd completely changed his mind and said that having a child wasn't going to happen because she was upset about the idea of a sibling."
"Fuck. I knew she could be the devil, but this just takes the cake. What a nasty little cow." He didn't hold back, as he shook his head then looked up, rubbing my knee. "So apart from that, you want a baby and he doesn't? this is why you're here yeah?"
I nodded. "Yes."
"What if you waited?"
"I'm already nine weeks pregnant. I found out this morning."
"Jesus Christ."
"I was going to tell him tonight, I wanted to surprise him and it was going well until Jenna heard. So he had no clue I'm pregnant." And saying that, the water works soon began once again.
I broke down, sobbing as Parker pulled me against his chest, rubbing his hand up and down over my back in soothing motions. This just made me cry harder. Letting it all out. "How do you know you're that far? Did you take a test?"
When I could speak without blubbering, I nodded. "I had the scan today, I've got the photo and test in my bedside-" Oh shit. My eyes widened. "I left them in my bedside drawer. He's going to see."
"Well then let him. Let him find out this way. He can see what a fucking mistake he's made." He laughed, but it didn't make me feel any better. I guilt and worry. I'd rather him find out I was pregnant by me, doing the cheesy reveal I had planned to do tonight.
I was having a baby, the baby of a man I was completely in love with and instead of celebrating, I was alone with his best friend.
"Please don't tell him that I'm pregnant. I know he will feel like he has to stay, and they both made it clear that no babies are welcome in the house anytime soon." I begged softly. I didn't want Ash to find out from Parker. He'd feel betrayed if he knew I'd come to him.
"No. She made it clear. I know him, and I know he wants kids with you. Heck, the guys give him shit all the time and ask when he's going to knock you up." He smiled but the smile faltered. "I don't know how you've put up with Jenna for so long honestly."
"My dad used to hit my mother whenever he was drink, and then he would turn on me once she was knocked out." I admitted. I've never told anyone this except Ashton and Meg. "Every time I get angry with Jenna, I get flashed of my father and I just shut down. Tonight however, I hurt my throat from yelling so much. I let Ash have all my vented-up anger towards her." I softly laughed.
His shirt was wet from the tears I cried. He was like a brother to me, and that's the relationship we had. It was always teasing, fun and light. But tonight, I was seeing a new side to him, a serious and caring side. We stayed on the couch talking more, I had filled him in on how Jenna has treated me lately, and I think it helped to just let it all out and finally tell someone about the bad days where she would cause me constant headaches. Parker had promised that what I tell him, wouldn't be repeated back to Ash. I was grateful, that I too had a bond with him.
Parker insisted that I stay in his bedroom for the night, and he would sleep on the couch. I didn't mind the couch, but he wouldn't listen. As I laid down in the double bed, I stared at the ceiling, wondering how Ash was going to cope with tomorrow morning and school run. He would have to stay home, and pack her lunches.
I loved mornings with him. He was always an early riser, in both ways. I'd often be woken with soft kisses, and his morning glory pressing against my thigh as he climbed on top. I'd make his breakfast, and by 6AM he was walking out the door. I wouldn't change those days for anything, to me they were perfect.
Jenna on the other hand was a different story.
I'd have to go in there constantly, sometimes up to five times and pull open the blinds open so the sun would wake her. She would drag her feet, moaning about being woken up. Taking forever to decide what she wanted for breakfast, and then I would do her hair, which I didn't mind. It reminded me of when I worked in the salon.
I missed those days.
Who knew crying mixed with pregnancy would be exhausting. My eyes were burning as I closed them, reaching over to turn the lamp off with a flick of the switch.
The bed was empty. My go to spot was curled against Ash's side, snuggling in close as our naked bodies kept each other warm. The pillows didn't feel the same.
I fell asleep listening to the rain, with a hand placed over my flat stomach. Wishing it were his instead.
The smell of bacon woke me up, it was making my mouth water. Reaching over, I picked up the phone to check the time and realised it was almost 9AM. I never sleep in that long. I don't even remember a time when I've slept past 7. Even on weekends, we were up.
I then noticed the missed calls. A total of 14. He was obviously drunk, as I listened to him slurring more through the multiple voice messages. His texts barely made sense. Then the final one opened, and it was clearer.
- I want a baby with you too. I'm sorry for everything.
I cried again.
I didn't want to feel this way, and I couldn't stay here another night knowing Ash would probably stop by to see Parker and fill him in on what's happened.
Making my way out, I found Parker freshly showered and standing in front of the stove. He turned, giving me a smile. "Pregnant chicks eat lots, right?" he laughed awkwardly as I noticed what he had beside the bacon cooking.
Pancakes. Bacon. Eggs. Toast.
"I haven't had someone cook me breakfast in years." I pointed out. "That smells and looks amazing." It was then, my face paled. "Morning sickness is kicking in."
"What's wrong?"
I held a hand over my mouth, turning hot on my heel as I raced towards the bathroom, dropped to my knees and threw up nothing but water from during the night. Bile was burning my throat as I grabbed the washer, and ran a tap.
This part, wasn't fun at all.
"Are you ok?" he called out. I could picture him laughing as his voice had humour in it.
After rinsing, and brushing my teeth I made my way back out and sat up at the counter on a wooden bar stool. He slid over a plate, filled to the max. "Just baby Williams letting me know that he's still in there."
He grinned. "I reckon it's a boy."
"Probably." I would love a son that looked just like his daddy. "This better taste as good as it looks." I pointed, changing the subject back to dinner as I lifted my fork up.
He rolled his eyes, smirking. "Don't worry baby mama, you can stay as long as you like and enjoy my cooking."
In this depth of this despair, his words brought a slight comfort that I could stay until I figured out what I would do next. I'd need to call mum, and maybe consider spending some time away staying at her place. I know she would love that.
"Just for a couple nights." I smiled back, however my heart was telling me something completely different.