(A/N: You guys hit the goal! Love you all! Heads up there are a few flashbacks in this! Flashbacks are italicized!:) Same as the last chapter! I went on a bit of a writing frenzy haha so much I wanted to put in this chapter! Oh and Juliet's outfit is to the side!)
Breathe – Taylor Swift
Holding On and Letting Go - Ross Copperman
Covering Your Tracks – Amy Stroup
High Hopes - Kodaline
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I slip on a pale grey dress that ends low on my thighs. It has a faux leather belt and strap. It has light ivory petals made of chiffon material on the bodice – the V of my chest.
I bite my lip, staring in the mirror as I look over my body. Running my hand through my loose curls I glance at Sarah who is asleep in her bed. I glance at my phone as I see the text from Matt, saying he was a few minutes away from Starbucks.
I feel the knots in my stomach tightening. I hadn't talked to Zayn since yesterday. I wasn't even sure what to say – I hadn't had much time to think about it considering how Matt had invaded my life out of nowhere.
I don't answer his text but simply shove the phone into my bag. I pause, noticing the bracelet sitting in the drawer of my desk. I look down at the simple silver bracelet sitting amongst the clutter of all the pens and paper. I glance at Sarah who is still asleep. Shaking my head I shut the drawer. I had no idea why I had kept it...
Taking a last look in the mirror I leave the dorm in a hurry. My mind is blank as I drive to Starbucks. I didn't know what to expect, all I knew was that I had to keep it together.
I sit in the car for a moment, I see his car sitting in the parking lot and can spot him through the window. I take deep breaths, feeling light headed, feeling my heart tighten and my stomach coiling.
Licking my lips I finally move and open the car door. Stepping out into the cool morning air I focus on the sound of each step I take towards the building. I feel the tension building in my body with every step. His head turns to me and his light eyes set on me as I step into the warm building.
"Julie." I turn to Matt who walks into the restaurant, bringing in the cold air with him. He rests a hand on my back and greets me with a warm kiss on the cheek. "I'm sorry I'm late, lacrosse practice went way over, coach was angry... Were you waiting long?"
"No." I shake my head, looking at the host who stands at his podium.
"Right, well we should get our table then." He smirks, telling the host his name, the man quickly pulls two menus and leads us to our table in the back. Matt pulls out the chair for me and I smile as I take a seat.
"I have a gift." Matt smiles, he digs into his pocket and quickly exposes a black velvet box.
"Matt, you didn't have to." I smile up at him, taking the box.
"It's our three year anniversary, thought I'd do something special." He smiles right back at me. I let out a light laugh and shake my head as I pop open the black velvet box.
A gorgeous silver bracelet sits in the velvet. It's simple – like us, nothing extravagant. I smile as I slide it onto my wrist and stare at it. It's loose around my wrist but stays on.
"I love you Julie." I turn to Matt who smiles, leaning in and kissing me lightly on the lips before turning back to his menu. I smile at him, then down at the bracelet he had given me. This was so routinely, I was happy – I was content...
"Julie." He smiles, walking towards me. Matt wears a light blue button up shirt and jeans. It's strange to not see tattoos for once – even though it's Matt I had expected tattoos and dark clothing. Clean cut... he was clean cut.
"Hi." I manage with a small smile as he reaches me. He reaches to hug me but stops, awkwardly pulling away and scratching his head – unsure what to do. "We should sit." I nod towards a table.
"Yeah." He agrees as we walk to a table. "You want something to drink? I'll buy." He offers, shoving a finger towards the counter where the barista stares at us. I look away and back to Matt.
His hair is still short but now it's styled. It was never like that in high school – it was more of a mess. He has gained some muscle but not much. He looked mostly the same, which only made the pain worse.
"No, I'm alright." I shake my head. I was already jittery – coffee wasn't going to help. He nods quickly as we sit down, he clears his throat as he scoots into the table. The awkward tension thickens as we both stay silent – looking around the place to avoid eye contact.
"Listen Julie I... Thank you for agreeing to see me." I want to ask him to stop calling me Julie, it brings up old memories that hurt. Though I don't say a thing, I can't even swallow. I nod at his comment, my eyes resting on his folded hands on the table.
"How have you been?" His voice quiet and cautious, did he ask me out just to have awkward small talk?
"G-great." My voice cracks as I speak. I glance up at his eyes that stare at me and I look back down at his hands. "Really great." I restate. "And you?"
"College is alright." He shrugs. "How's rooming with Sarah?"
"Like I expected." I shrug. I remember talking to Matt about the possibilities of rooming with Sarah. I had expected drama, gossip, shopping, painting fingernails – basically a year long sleepover. That's kind of what I got though.
"So it's good?"
"Yeah... who are you rooming with?"
"Just a football guy. He's pretty cool." Matt bobs his head as he looks around the room. "He actually is a fan of Boulder. He's thinking of transferring – that's why I'm down here." Oh God... I pray in my mind that Matt wasn't here to look at Boulder too – to transfer with his friend. That couldn't be it, that couldn't happen.
"Oh." I nod slowly. "That's cool."
"Julie I-I-I never got a chance to apologize for my mistakes." He taps his fingers on the table and I hold my breath. Waiting for what he is going to say.
His light softly colored blue eyes reach mine and hold mine for a moment. Matt was here... The boy I grew up with. The boy I grew to love, the boy who implanted himself into my life and became one of the few people I relied on. The boy who destroyed it all.
Matt and I sit on his couch in the living room. Watching a movie. It's dark out and the light from the TV is the only light in the room, flashing from the action that was on screen. I glance at Matt who stares at the screen. He sits about a foot from me, not touching me at all.
I knew it was true... He had been so distant lately, almost avoiding me, he had been so worried and stressed it seemed.
About two weeks ago Naomi had come up to me, telling me about the rumors. At first I thought it was just some joke, then I thought it was Naomi just being bored and starting drama. But after another week of Matt's strange behavior and people whispering, I had my suspicions.
I noticed he was acting distant. He wouldn't talk to me as much, we wouldn't laugh as much and there was always a strange tension. The only person that I knew would know if a rumor was true or not was Sarah. So I asked her.
She admitted that she knew about the rumors but didn't want to say anything until she knew for sure it was true – she didn't want to ruin our relationship based on a rumors she heard.
He still doesn't look at me, his eyes glued to the TV. He doesn't touch me, he keeps his arms to himself. Swallowing and taking a deep breath, I sit up and turn off the movie, getting off the couch and turning on the lights, running a hand through my hair.
"Everything alright?" He asks as the lights slowly start to grow in strength. I fold my arms and shake my head slowly, feeling the tears burn. I slowly rub between my eyes, I had practiced what I would say several times in the mirror but now I drew a blank. This moment all too real.
"I've been hearing things Matt..." I begin, his eyes dart to the TV before looking back at me. I can tell by his tense body he knows – he knows what's coming.
"Hearing things?" He asks, with confusion, his eyebrows knitting together. He slowly stands up off the couch and watches me. I close my eyes to fight back the tears that burn in my eyes.
"Tell me it's not true." I beg, my voice cracking as I keep my eyes closed so I don't have to look at him. To see his face, to see the face that was going to break me down.
"What's not true?" He asks lightly. I feel my heart break from his act of trying to be innocent, but what if he was innocent? I knew he wasn't but I had hope. This was Matt, the boy I grew up with and learned to trust and love. I should give him the benefit of the doubt... I slowly open my eyes and look at him.
"You cheated on me... Didn't you?" I feel the tears reaching the surface now. His eyes look down, he doesn't try to deny it, he doesn't try to explain himself, he just stares at the ground. I feel my heart breaking with every passing second he doesn't look at me.
I can't say another word, I can't think of what else to do, he cheated. I look around the room for some answer but shake my head, I couldn't be here. I quickly escape the house, rushing outside into the night air. It was close to midnight, a Friday night. Our usual Friday night date of watching a movie together.
"Julie wait!" I hear him from behind me. I clench my jaw and fists as I spin around to him. He looks broken, he looks torn, he looks how I feel. I can't imagine him feeling this way though.
I can physically feel my heart hurting, my body trembling with anger and anguish. I never thought it possible to feel this way. I saw it in movies, read about it in books, but now I was feeling it. It felt like my heart had a nail in it and every time Matt spoke or I saw him – a hammer hit it, cracking my heart a little more.
"For what?" I demand anger spilling over, my heart breaking. He looks down again in shame. "It's true... isn't it?" I ask, tears falling down my cheeks now. My body beginning to tremble from the cry.
"Julie... I... I... I... I can't." He shakes his head, covering his face. He can't explain himself. He can't admit to it. He can't, he simply can't.
"Why?" I let out a sob. He doesn't look at me. "Why would you do this Matt?" I cry. "I thought you loved me." He still doesn't look at me.
"Julie I do..." His eyes stare at the sidewalk. He looks as if he's attempting to rewind time, attempting to remember a better moment than this.
"No you don't. You don't! You can't, or else you wouldn't have done what you did! I trusted you Matt! I trusted you more than my own parents!" I shake my head, the tears spilling down my cheeks. I can feel my heart hurting, my body going numb.
I trusted him more than anyone in the world – more than Sarah. Now I'm left with broken trust... if I couldn't trust Matt, the boy who I grew up with and loved who was I supposed to trust in this world? I feel more cold than before, due the fact I now realize I'm alone. I don't have him anymore, I don't even have trust.
"Who was it? Who was the girl?" He lets out a deep breath and shakes his head. "Know what I don't even care." I cry quietly. I could care less about the random girl he had hooked up with, it wouldn't make a difference. He had cheated on me.
"It was New Years Eve, just a random girl from school... you didn't want to go to that party so I-"
"New Years Eve, so a month ago? You've been hiding this from me for a month?" I demand, the wound getting deeper and deeper – the nail embedding itself further into my heart, breaking the surface of the heart.
The one I trusted the most, the one I loved, the one who felt like he could be my other half... was breaking me apart.
"Wait Julie, we can talk this out." He tries to reach for me but I take a step away from him. The night air is cold against my skin but I'm fired up – humiliated, hurt. He has a guilty expression on his face, his chest heaving as his eyes beg me to wait. I can't though, I was breaking. It couldn't be true – but it was. I knew it was.
The pain is overflowing my body as the tears waterfall down my face. The tears, the crying doesn't help anything. Being here, with him in front of me, being in front of his house, the memories are attacking me. The memories that he had destroyed in one night.
"No we can't Matt! You didn't even try to deny it!" Had I expected him to deny it? Not at all, no matter what he had done that wasn't Matt, he wouldn't lie to my face – which explains why he had been avoiding me. I knew the guilt was eating him alive but he deserved that – it sure as hell probably felt better than what I was feeling.
"I didn't want to believe it but... I-I can't believe it. Just stay away from me." I shake my head, walking away from him down the street - alone and broken.
I stare at the table, I feel my eyes burning from the painful memory. I clear my throat, shutting my eyes, blinking the burning tears back. It didn't hurt as much as it used to. It didn't hurt as much to think about or to remember – but it still hurt.
"I'm so sorry... I know there's no words that will ever make up what I did to you. I know there's nothing I could ever do to make you forgive me or excuse what I did. Just know that if I could go back I would have never done what I did..."
I don't know what to say back. I know he's sorry – I've always known he was. What do I say though? I can't tell him 'it's okay' because it's not. I hurt a lot during that time, but I don't want him to know how miserable I was.
"Me too. I wish you could... you know, go back and not do it." I agree quietly. I'm not sure that's true though, if it weren't for Matt I wouldn't have met Zayn. That can be seen as a good or bad thing I guess.
My life could be so different right now, I could be stuck in my past life. But when I lived that life I thought it was fine – so who's to say I wouldn't still think that if I lived it?
Kelsey... Kelsey Rivers... It still didn't seem right but at the same time I could imagine it. I look up at Matt and try to picture him and Kelsey together. She did disappear half way through the night, she did ask about Matt... Maybe she was trying to figure out what I knew. She did go to that New Years party I'm pretty sure - I remember her talking about it the next day.
"I miss you Julie. I miss hanging out with you. I miss being able to talk to you about anything and you knew what was going on. I miss being able to know that you would be smiling no matter what." He breathes.
My heart pinches hearing him saying what he'll miss about me. His confession gets the better of me. It's making me less angry – though I wasn't too angry to begin with.
I've been able to have fun so far in college – for the most part, and Matt wasn't on my mind. I wasn't angry anymore, still betrayed though.
It's quiet. His words lost in the sound of coffee pots steaming. I know he wants me to say something. I can't though, I can't even make complete thoughts.
"Do you miss anything?" His voice reaches me. My eyes dart up to him and I feel anger boil in my veins. He was joking, wasn't he? He couldn't just ask me if I missed him.
"Excuse me?"
"I mean come on Julie... do you not miss anything?" I stare at him in shock, I must be going deaf. He didn't ask me that, did he?
"You don't have a right to ask me that." I keep my voice level but my eyes are wide at his question. He had no right to ask if I missed anything about him. He had betrayed me, left me with little faith in people, and then decides to show up and talk.
"I'm sorry, I just-"
"You just what Matt?" I laugh at his attempt to explain himself. "You cheated on me. I trusted you. You did the worst thing anyone could ever do! You have no right to ask if I miss you and what I miss about you! That's not fair, that's just messed up!" I cover my mouth quickly after saying these words.
Matt is shocked by my reaction and I am too. I was never one to talk back to someone, to get angry with someone – until I met Zayn. I let out a deep breath and let my hand fall to my lap.
"It's not fair." I mumble. Sarah was right, it wasn't fair that I was letting him walk back into my life.
"Julie I... I can never make it up to you I just..." His words trail off as he shakes his head. His eyes are staring at my hands in my lap. I can see it in the way he stares.
He's sorry. He regrets it and he's confused. He's confused about who I am, the person I have become since he left. I was never outspoken, the old me would have never snapped at him the way I had.
I take a deep breath and lick my lips. Things were so different back then... six months ago. It feels like a different lifetime, a different life. I shake my head, knowing I would regret saying these words.
"I miss the way you used to smile at me..." His eyes flash to me and back down at the ground. Caught off guard by my disappearance of anger. I let out a frustrated breath – knowing I shouldn't be saying these words. That I should be angry with him, but I can't help it.
"I miss the way everything was always constant, stable." I mumble, staring at the table. He doesn't look at me, I know he is staring at the ground. Matt would never watch me, I'd never catch him giving me lingering stares like Zayn. "I miss how I knew I could trust you, that you trusted me... that we didn't have secrets... that you'd be there for me." Although that trust disappeared within seconds.
We don't speak again. Instead I focus on the noises from behind the counter. The baristas taking orders and making coffee for the customers coming in. The phones ringing and customers walking in and bringing in the brisk air with them.
"I miss that too." He breathes.
He begins tapping his fingers again on the table. Was this why he wanted to see me? To let me know he was sorry? I knew he was, it was Matt – despite everything he was still the same guy I grew up with. He was chivalrous and knew when to do the right thing, most of the time that is.
"Is this why you wanted to meet up? To tell me that you were sorry?" He slowly shakes his head as he rubs his hand over his face.
"Julie I just... I want you to know that I'm still here for you. I will always be here for you." I stare at him in confusion. Nothing about this was making sense – everything was just a mess it felt like. So he would be here for me... I didn't want him around though, he was bringing up old feelings and some of those feelings were painful.
Then there's Zayn. Zayn who's turned everything in my life around – good and bad. Both these boys were shaking up my reality to a point that I couldn't take a step without one of them intruding my thoughts.
"You really hurt me Matt." This is something I couldn't do with Zayn – well rarely, we couldn't just talk things out it seemed. "But you were a part of my life." I let out a heavy breath.
"Julie I don't expect you to forgive me... ever. I just... I want you to know I'll be here."
"I know." I nod. "I miss having you in my life but I can't forgive you... But I'm willing to try – to try and sort things out." I say slowly. I'm not willing to try just yet, I still needed time. Every time I thought I was ready to see him or talk to him it didn't work out that way.
"Try?" he smiles at me. "I'll take it. I will try and be the guy you grew up with." He assures. The guy I grew to fall in love with, the guy who I still loved for some reason.
We're quiet now, awkward silence taking over. That's something I missed about Zayn already. How we could be in silence together and not have it awkward, it was just comfortable. But then again Zayn hadn't cheated on me like Matt had.
"Hey do you remember our babysitter Rachel Anderson?" He asks with a smirk.
Rachel Anderson. She was six years older than Matt and I and she lived down the street from us. She was the main reason Matt and I were so close growing up. We were always being babysat by her. She was a real nice girl, I'm not sure what happened to her after she graduated high school though.
"Yeah."
"She's married." I drop my mouth in surprise.
"Married?" I laugh. "Wow it feels like just yesterday she was feeding us cheerios." I smile down at my hands. It felt like just yesterday I had met Zayn and my life changed.
"Yeah and she has a kid!" Matt adds with enthusiasm.
"A kid?" I shake my head. I couldn't imagine Rachel having a kid. Then again I haven't seen her since I was about ten.
"Yeah, hopefully she can take care of her kid, I mean she was not a very responsible babysitter." Matt shakes his head with a low chuckle.
"She wasn't bad." I defend with a smile – knowing it was true. She wasn't that great of a babysitter but she wasn't bad. She was only about fifteen at the time, you couldn't expect too much out of her.
"Oh come on Julie, she let us go play in the rain for hours."
"As I recall you shoved me in a pile of mud." I fold my arms, "And you also took one of my Barbie dolls and threw it to the dogs." I remind giving Matt my best grudging look but burst into laughter as Matt does. The laughter feels nice, it is healing, it is releasing the awkward tension from between us.
"Oh come on it's just cause I liked you." He excuses.
"We were like seven Matt." I shoot back, our laughter subsiding as he shakes his head again. He runs a hand over his hair and clears his throat.
"Yeah well even then I knew that we..." His voice trails off and our laughter disappears along with the light mood. I clench my jaw hoping he won't complete the sentence. I knew what he was going to say. Even then he knew we were meant to be together, to fall in love...
That always seemed like the plan when I dated Matt. Childhood friends, we would grow up, get married, start a family, raise them in Loveland where our families were. We made sense on paper and in the world.
"I'm going to go to the restroom." I speak lowly before leaving the table. I run to the restroom and rest my palms on the counter. I stare at the sink taking deep breaths. I shouldn't have come, Sarah was right.
I let out a heavy breath as I stare at my reflection. My brown hair falls as normal – I look the same as six months ago but I feel so much different. Things in life were different, my relationships were different – even Sarah and I.
I didn't want to go back out and see Matt but I had to. I couldn't just hide out in the restroom and hope he'd eventually leave. We were going to be okay... But too much of him right now wasn't good. Rolling my eyes at the thought of Sarah saying 'I told you so' I turn and slowly leave the restroom.
I come out of the restroom taking deep breaths. I look to the table where Matt stands glaring at Sarah. I glance around Starbucks – in hope for an answer for why Sarah was here. As I near I hear Sarah snap at Matt,
"Seriously Matt? Can't you leave her alone? You've done enough damage." I quicken my pace and reach them.
"Sarah?" I carefully slow down as I approach the table. Matt's eyes are trained on Sarah but she turns away and looks at me. Her eyes widen at the sight of me – like she was surprised I would be here.
"Jules." She smiles at me, as chipper as ever.
"What are you doing here?" I glance at Matt who clenches his jaw and begins to stand up.
"Just... You asked me to come." She reminds me quietly. I feel grateful for her here, I feel the tension slightly raise – from me at least. Matt seems annoyed though. I'm guessing from that last bit I heard she told him off while I was in the bathroom because she seems proud. She looks like a girl who just won a fight.
"Oh." Is my only reply I can muster.
"I should go..." Matt glances from Sarah to me. "Thanks for catching up with me." Matt turns to me with a warm familiar smile. I give a small nod,
"Of course." I let out a light breath .
"Thanks for meeting me Julie... Bye Sarah." Matt glances at Sarah before leaving Starbucks. Once he's gone I turn to Sarah with wide eyes.
"What's going on?" I ask her.
"I just gave him a piece of my mind." She gave a small shrug. Before I can ask what that meant she speaks again. "Jules tell me you didn't forgive him."
"Sarah... No matter how much he hurt me – he'll always be a part of my life. And I can't just cut him out." I lick my lips. "I haven't forgiven him but... we're trying."
"Sounds like Zayn." Sarah rolls her eyes.
"Don't even mention him." I shake my head as she laughs at my reaction. "What did you say to Matt? He looked angry?" I watch her carefully with accusing eyes. I can see why he'd be angry after the last thing I heard, to leave me alone... being reminded of a mistake never makes anyone happy.
"Nothing." She smiles sweetly at me. I raise an eyebrow and fold my arms like a mother would do to a kid in trouble. "Fine." She sighs. "I just told him he shouldn't be here. Messing with your life. You've gotten it on track, you're having fun, you're seeing a guy-"
"You told him I'm seeing someone?" I almost shriek at her. Her eyes widen at my intense reaction.
"Are you not? I thought you and Zayn were... I'm not sure what you guys are but you are seeing each other." She points out. That's true... I guess if we had to label what Zayn and I were it would be 'seeing each other'. "I just told him to leave you alone. He messed up and you're happy." Sarah shrugs.
I know Sarah is trying to be a good friend. She saw what I had to endure during the break up and I know she's glad to see me doing something fun and productive with my life again.
"Hey I'll catch you back at the dorms... I'm meeting Niall for lunch." She touches my arm with a smile. "Jules, just... be careful with Matt. I mean... He doesn't deserve your forgiveness or friendship. Anyone... anyone who would do that doesn't deserve it." She murmurs softly.
"Yeah... I'll see you at the dorms." I give her arm a tight squeeze before turning and leaving the building.
Two hours since seeing Matt and all I've done is stare at my textbook in front of me. I debate asking Liam to meet up and study but I know I'll just do the same thing I'm doing now. I'll stare at the book and go back and forth between my thoughts about Matt and Zayn.
Pulling me from my thoughts there is a quick knock on the door. I stare at the door for a moment – thinking it might be someone who is knocking on the wrong door. No one comes to Sarah and mine's dorm, unless we know about it. The knock comes again and I slowly get up and walk to the door.
I open it and my mouth falls open.
"Hi." His British voice is musical to hear. I don't know what comes over me but I quickly step towards him and wrap my arms around his torso. He quickly responds and wraps his arms around me.
I just snuggle my head into his chest, smelling his cologne that I love, his warmth and arms securing me to his chest.
I close my eyes, letting out a heavy breath – releasing all the tension in my body and relax into his arms, him holding me just made me forget all that happened. We still had to talk about our fight but right now I just wanted him to hold me.
But being held by him, it made my heart feel less torn. Strange how I could feel so strong and complete when I was with Zayn but at the same time he could make me feel so weak and vulnerable.
ZAYN POV
I'm surprised by Juliet's reaction when she sees me. I had expected her to stare, to shut the door in my face, to get into a fight, but instead she catches me off guard by wrapping her arms around me.
I don't question it, I just wrap my arms around her and hug her tightly to my chest. I came to talk to her or rather see her. I wasn't planning on doing much talking. I didn't know what I would say – we most likely would end up fighting but it was worth it.
Harry wasn't going to get to fuck around with Juliet and mine's... our thing – whatever we were. I feel her slowly pull away all too soon and look at me with her shining eyes. She clears her throat and takes another step back. I can see that something's not right but I don't ask what's wrong.
I look her over quickly, she wears a dress that makes her look beautiful – but that's what she always looks like. I wonder why she is in a dress. Was she just sitting in her dorm room with a dress on?
"What are you doing here?" her light voice is more delicate than usual. I don't know why her voice is that way, I don't ask about it though. Asking her a question would allow her to ask me a million questions.
Fuck, how I hated her questions. How they would bombard me, how once one got answered there would be ten more.
"I'm sorry-" God how I hated those words. Sorry, made me feel like my dad. My fucked up dad - but then again I'm pretty fucked up too... "for getting mad at you and exploding..." I mumbles. She stares at me accusingly, clenching her jaw. "Can I take you on a date? Make it up to you?" I ask.
My apologies never seemed to be enough for Juliet, actions spoke louder than words and she always seemed to enjoy our dates.
"You can't just take me on dates to make up for fights, we have to talk about things, actually talk about things. You can't just storm out of the room after yelling hurtful things." She raises her chin with her words.
I can feel the calm leaving with those words. I couldn't just take her on dates to make up for the shit I did. I know. I had to talk about things, of course that's what she fucking wants, that's what I came to do... sort of.
"I know." I nod, I don't want to talk about things – I know we have to though. "We can talk Friday night on our date?" I offer, not really offer, more of telling her. She was going to go one way or another.
"Why not now?" She asks with a harsh tone. I see the anger and frustration growing in her eyes that starts to add to my frustration. Fuck how she was able to get under my skin was unbearable.
"Because I don't want to fight before the week starts." I explain with a snap in my tone. I take a deep breath, controlling my frustrations. I didn't want to piss her off more than I had already done.
"We already did." She points out, I can tell from her low shoulders she's tired. She seems exhausted and I don't want to get into it with her. I wonder if she can see how equally exhausted I am. I stayed up all night thinking about the fight – different ways I could have handled it. But that's just it, there no way I could handle it differently especially when it came to Juliet. My emotions always got the best of me when I was around her.
I still can't believe the fight got so bad the other night. My hand was still sore from punching Harry – but he deserved that. I know I fucked up with saying those things to Juliet though. There's only so many times I can fuck up until it's too late. From the looks of it – it might have been one too many fuck ups.
"I know... Just, date. Friday night." I say before backing away and leaving her dorm before she can start to argue with me. My heart was pumping blood through my entire body, I could hear my heart beat in my ears, I was done with this shit.
Friday night I would do the inevitable. I would do what I knew I would have to do the moment I had met her. I don't know why I ever thought I had a different choice, I had to do it and it was going to change things - change everything. For better or worse, the possibilities of hurt put aside, I had to do it.
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(A/N: Oh my gosh... A lot to take in from this chapter... thoughts on Matt? Zayn? I know you are probably angry at Juliet for giving him a chance but he is part of her life, it's hard to let that go – at least in my perspective!)