"Uh..." Is my stupid response, unable to form a sentence due to my whizzing thoughts.
I'm slightly baffled as to why he's even standing here, however an idiot wouldn't fail to recognise why. For some reason though, I'm not as frustrated as I would have thought to be if this were to happen any other day. That's probably because I'm glad to have guests over in this daunting house I live in.
Speaking of guests...who else is here?
"You mean, Salaam?" Zach laughs, stepping to the side and into the corridor with me, yet still keeping a good distance between us.
"Uh, yeah." I shake my head and sigh, taking a step back. "Waalaykum salaam, what are you doing here?"
At this, he bursts out laughing, his smile reaching the corners of his almost hazel coloured eyes. From where I'm standing I can make out the fact that his teeth aren't perfectly straight and that his nose holds a few freckles against them.
"Wow, straight to the point, eh?" Zach lets out a high-pitched laugh, catching me off guard and I raise my eyebrows. "I feel so welcome."
I can't help but chuckle slightly although I really should keep a straight face seeing as he wants to marry me. Yuck.
I open my mouth to speak but stop when someone in the room Zach just stepped out of lets out a hearty laugh, almost exaggerating how funny something was. I don't fail to recognise that the screechy laugh comes from Rimsha who is definitely behind this 'proposal'.
Trust her to add another problem to my never-ending list.
I hear Zach blow out a long whistle and I turn around to see his widened eyes, amused by the sound of her laugh. I purse my lips, nodding my head before adjusting my heavy bag pack on my shoulder, feeling slightly awkward standing with him.
I'm guessing he senses how I'm feeling seeing as he goes on to say, "...This is awkward."
My eyes snap to meet his and I reply with, "Wow, no beating around the bush, eh?"
He shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly before he chuckles. "I'm joking, I'm fine."
I give him another nod, casting my eyes down to my socks, letting out a yawn. Today has been tiring and all I want to do is to get into bed and sleep for three days, however I feel rude to just leave this guy standing here.
I feel Zach's eyes on me, making me lift my head and raise an eyebrow, questioning him without speaking. He sighs, lowering his head and kicking at his undone shoe lace. "I'm guessing you know why I'm here."
This time, I shrug nonchalantly, pretending not to seem bothered regarding his visit when in actual fact I know that this evening will make me lose the plot.
Literally.
"I'm also guessing that your mum threw this all at you?" He lowers his voice, almost seeming sorry for me to which I immediately straighten my back and face. He cannot be feeling sympathetic for me. "I'm guessing we're on the same boat."
Hold up, wait a second. Same boat? Doesn't that mean...
My eyes widen slightly and my jaw opens, shocked at his words. Furrowing my eyebrows in disbelief, I drop my arms to my sides as I step on the tips of my toes, beaming with joy.
I could literally scream right now!
"What?!" I ask, not bothering to hide the excitement behind my voice nor my bright facial expression. "You too?! Really?! Are you being serious?! Please tell me you are!"
Once he laughs (for the billionth time) I almost lean in to grab his collars in order to make him shut up so that he can answer my question, however I hold back from doing so and instead resort to jumping from feet to feet in excitement.
Zach holds his large hands up at me in surrender and scoffs playfully. "You could hide the fact that you're relieved, woman!" He chuckles at my glowing face before shaking his head, his grin never leaving his face. "Nah, my parents think I want to marry at nineteen? I need to sort my life out before marriage."
I'm about to reply happily to Zach, however my smile immediately wipes off my face and my usual scowl returns to it's place. I don't bother turning to around when I hear heels tapping against the laminate floorboards, making their way towards us.
"I see you've met!" She places a hand on my shoulder and strains the other onto Zach's. She beams at the two of us, yet I don't bother to return it and instead examine the fuchsia lipstick which she must have decided to eat half of.
I shrug her hand off my shoulder and take a step away from her, my arms crossed over my chest.
At this moment in time, I honestly don't know what to say to her. The sight of her is making me angry, her smile tells me that she thinks that this is actually happening.
She suddenly gasps in disgust, bringing her fingers to her circular shaped mouth. Her minuscule eyes scan over my outfit and she tuts, rushing over to me and tries to cover my body with her back facing me. I tower over her head, furrowing my eyebrows at the back of it, making Zach struggle to suppress his laughter. He then coughs awkwardly into his fist and turns away, heading towards the front door after picking out his phone from his pocket.
Once he's gone, Rimsha grabs my arm and drags me up the stairs despite my protests. It's unbelievably scary how strong she actually is.
I'm thrown into my room (which I swear I locked this morning) and she immediately yanks open my wardrobe likes it belongs to her. She rummages through the hangers which hold not-so-stylish outfits, throwing them onto my bed, clicking her tongue every so often.
I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to remain calm but the way she's messing up my room and touching my stuff as if it belongs to her makes my anger surface. "What the hell are you doing?!" I snap, going over to her and pulling her away from my wardrobe which is now a mess.
"You need to look attractive!" She growls, throwing her thin arms into the air in frustration. She then holds her head in her pale hands, tugging at the roots of her brown hair.
"Why on earth would I want to do that?! Do you honestly think I want anything to do with this pathetic meet up which you had told me nothing about?! How dare you invite people over to my house to talk about something so absurd?!" I fail to keep my voice quiet but I honestly don't care if anyone can hear right now because the frustration and hurt are driving me insane. I glare at her bowed head for a few minutes before I grow impatient with her forming a reply, knowing that I can't stop this now that they are downstairs. "You can't just barge into my room as if it's yours and throw whatever you like!"
Rimsha's eyes snap to meet mine but instead of holding sympathy and regret like I thought they would, they are filled with fire. "Don't you dare talk to me like that, young lady. You are agreeing to this proposal, whether you like it or not so you best get ready and get yourself down those-"
Wow, she really has the audacity to speak to me like this? I'm not exactly her daughter for her to boss me around and I'd rather not be associated with her or her son for the matter. Arranging a meet up with a poor guy who wants nothing to do with marriage and his family to talk about marriage?! I haven't even agreed to this trash but here she is, thinking she knows too much.
"Don't you dare try acting as if you're my mother!" I spit, gritting my teeth and narrowing my eyes at her. "Don't try and boss me around because you definitely have no right to do that. I'm not agreeing to this so you might as well send them home."
She blows out air through his nose, her hardened eyes never leaving mine. Her hands are gripping the hem of her floral dress, almost shaking from frustration.
"Plus," I talk when she opens her mouth to speak, my voice dropping down a few octaves. "He doesn't want to marry me either."
A smug expression appears on my face as I cross my arms across my chest, waiting for her to reply. She clicks her tongue and huffs, pushing past me and walking out of my room, the door still wide open.
Once she's out of sight, I let out a breath of air, hitting my back against the wall. Closing my eyes, I run a hand down my tired face, seriously not in the mood for anything right now. Especially not a meeting with a family who want me to wed their son.
It's such a relief that he doesn't want to go ahead with this, I'm so glad that he feels this way. Don't get me wrong, he seems like a genuinely nice guy but he isn't someone I would imagine myself marrying. Scratch that, I'm only seventeen years old, I'm still a kid!
The sound of someone clearing their throat brings me out from my thoughts and my eyes snap open. Spinning my head to the side to see Kamil leaning against my doorframe with his arms across his chest and a smirk lying on his lips causes my heart to accelerate. I stand for a few seconds, not daring to move just in case he does something. I tell myself to remain confident however my palms begin to sweat profusely and my mouth becomes dry.
"See your potential husband is down there, little sis," He begins with a low chuckle, his fingers drumming against his arm. "Why don't you go say hi?"
My hands begin to shake as I watch him edging closer into my room and I wonder why I'm not yelling at him yet.
He hasn't lashed out at me for hitting him last night nor has he mentioned anything about it.
Actually, does he even remember anything that happened seeing as he was so drugged up? I don't know but I really hope that he doesn't remember a thing.
...Unless he's building up to it? He does remember!Bed, doesn't he?! He's about to snap at me again, it's bound to happen, isn't it?!
"Why so quiet, sis?" He drawls, running his fingers against the wall I'm holding myself up against as he strides closer towards me. "Cat got your tongue?"
His forehead creases, showing off his acne further. His jaw locks and his dark eyes harden at me, growing angry for some reason unknown to me.
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" He raises his voice, his hands balled into tight fists. He now towers over me and I can hear the sound of his teeth scaping across one another.
My heart is in my throat and my head begins to spin. I feel my face burning up and all I want to do is run away from him but I have to no time to do that because within an instant, Kamil presses his hand against my neck causing my head to hit the wall behind.
Flashbacks from last night zoom through my mind and I hold back a sob. His hand doesn't tighten as I expected but instead he lets go, his fingers trailing up my jaw.
Why am I letting him get away with this?! I'm not a weak person, I stand my ground!
The feel of his finger tips on my hot skin causes a shiver to run up my spine and my mouth to become dry. My stomach flips, making me feel sick and I have to swallow the lump in my throat to stop myself from breaking down.
Kamil laughs, his sudden anger dropping. "Little does Zach know-"
He suddenly yelps, his face contorting with pain as he clutches his private area. He stumbles backwards, he body bent forwards whilst curse words fly past his dirty lips.
I let out a breath of air which I didn't realise I had been holding before gritting my teeth. Anger and adrenaline flood through my blood: he isn't going to over power me.
"You shouldn't have done that." He forces out a laugh through gritted teeth, shaking his head at me. "You can't hit your big brother now, can you?"
This time I let out a laugh. A laugh which is filled with disbelief, sadness and exhaustion which grows louder and harder, almost to the point where I'm gasping for air.
I just want to get out of here, I can't take this anymore. My mind is a blur and my heavy heart's burdens weighs me down day in, day out. Living with him means that I'm scared for my own safety within the house I once called home.
How have I let it reach this point?
Before I know it, my back crashes against the wall and Kamil's voice rings through my ears once he closes any form of a gap between the two of us. "You're getting very confident, aren't you?"
"When was I not?" I spit in his face although my voice shakes, smirking when he grimaces.
He jabs his fist into my stomach, hard enough to make pain evident. I hold back a groan by biting the inside of my lip, my eyes squeezing shut.
"You're going to be out of this house soon," He whisper, his hot breath fanning my face, making bile rise in my throat. I gasp once his hand begins to snake up my arm and under my hijab. His fingers slither their way into the roots of my hair, travelling around my scalp.
No, no, no, no, this can't be happening. Not again.
I find myself glued to the spot, as if there's no escape although one push should do the trick. I want to yank him off me but for some reason I'm slightly scared so instead I tolerate his actions for a little more.
"So, before little Zach downstairs takes you far, far away from my home...we need to make the most-"
I choke on my spit when a voice speaks from besides us. My watery eyes widen in shock and Kamil jumps, cursing as usual. Our heads spin to the door and relief washes over me immediately.
Rimsha stands there holding up a black sequinned dress with a look of urgency in her features. Her eyes jump from the two of us, slightly confused with the scene but instead of trying to figure what's happening, she brushes it off like it's nothing. "Kamil. It's not the time for this. Alvina, I bought you this."
My mouth falls open and I furrow my brows in disbelief, completely frazzled by her lack of concern. Can't she see what was happening?! Doesn't she have an ounce of worry? Didn't she notice how scared I was?
Anger floods through me and I find the strength to push her son off me, my eyes not leaving Rimsha's bored expression. She huffs, tapping her foot impatiently on my carpeted floor.
How dare she just dismiss what her eyes just witnessed? A fool would even understand what was happening; the distance between the two of us was suffocating and the look on both our faces said it all.
My heart thumps against my chest and my tears threaten to fall as I glare at Rimsha full of disbelief. "You- didn't you see?!" I cry, throwing my shaking arms into the air with an exasperated sigh.
"Stop yip yapping, Alvina," She scolds me with a roll of her eyes. I've never seen this side of her. She never does this. "Hurry up, take your clothes off."
I almost puke at her words, holding my stomach. "Stop! Just stop with all this, you need to get the hell out of my room, now!" I yell, my lip quivering.
Rimsha looks slightly startled by my tone of voice and she places a hand onto her chest incredulously. I watch her swallow, fiddling with the sequins on the dress which she expects me to wear. "If you don't do this then...then..."
I raise an eyebrow, waiting for her reply. When she fails to think of some kind of 'threat' I clear my throat to prevent it from breaking. "Just get out of my room, please."
Rimsha's fingers run into the fabric, shaking slightly from her growing nerves. She knits her shaped brows, wrinkles form around her thin lips as she caves them in together. "No."
Is she being serious right now? Why can't she just respect my right to privacy? I've give her space in my own home and she can't just let me have a little bit of air to breathe by myself?
"No?" I scoff, growing impatient with her intolerant self. "No? What do you mean by that? You have no right-"
Before I know it, pain shoots through my back as I collide with my nightstand, making me let out a sharp gasp before hitting the floor. The blow erupts pain to travel through my nerves and I can't help but let out a cry of pain, no matter how hard I try to hold it back.
"Don't talk to my mother like that, you brat," Kamil growls from above me, his eyes clouded with anger. Grabbing my headscarf, he yanks my head back, hitting it on the floor, causing my scalp to throb. "You hear me?"
When I find no strength to reply I watch as vibrant patterns are drawn onto my eyelids, the intricate designs floating softly. I lay defenceless, unable to fight back. I feel Kamil stand from his previous position, crouched besides my lifeless body before material falls onto my face. Laughter is muffled and footsteps fade away, leaving me alone at last.
I fiddle with a sequin on the black dress I'm wearing, staring down at the front room's carpet solemnly, pairs of feet in the corners of my bloodshot eyes. Voices ring through my ears, almost buzzing as my mind drifts elsewhere.
Minutes after Rimsha and Kamil had left my room, I pushed myself off the ground and didn't hesitate in changing into the dress Rimsha had bought me, specifically for this meeting. I figured that if I didn't attend, I'd probably get dragged there.
"Dear?" A voice in the distance is heard, yet I can't make out who it is and I don't bother trying. "Alvina?"
My tired eyes snap up to meet with a middle aged woman, her soft smile causing light wrinkles to draw onto the edges of her mouth. It isn't hard to tell who's Mother she is due to her hazel eyes and dark freckles.
"Huh?" My voice croaks as my throat is slightly soar. My breathing is slow as I narrow my puffy eyelids, trying to understand what is happening. "I'm sorry?"
The lady laughs and so does her husband sat besides her, his wrinkles reaching the corners of his eyes. I hear a high pitched laugh come from besides me and I turn my head slowly to see Rinsha who is over exaggerating for a reason I'm not quite sure of. My eyes flicker towards a figure who stands in the corner with his elbow leaning on the fire stand, his dark eyes not leaving my face and his smirk not leaving his. I don't let my eyes break away from his hard glare, not wanting to seem any weaker than I made out to be just a while ago.
Albeit my poor attempt to seem unfazed by him, my mind is still fuzzy and my heart feels hollow. I feel limp and too tired to even argue anymore; I just sit with my lifeless arms on my lap; a stranger surrounded by strangers in a place she can't seem to escape.
"So, Alvina," A deep, rough voice brings me out of my bubble of thoughts and I look away from Kamil and place my eyes onto the floor once again, feeling my heart getting heavier. "What are your plans for the future?"
The future, huh? At this rate, I don't know if I even want one.
"I don't know." I shrug my tense shoulders after clearing my throat. I contemplate whether or not I should tell him my previous plans for my future but then decide not to dwell into the topic.
"Are you thinking of going to University, dear?" Zach's Mum asks in a soft tone and I feel obliged to look up. She smiles at me, tilting her head whilst her hand gently fiddles with her husbands fingers unconsciously.
She's so sweet yet I'm being so rude.
I force out a weak smile and open my mouth to reply to her question when Zach beats me to it, in an attempt to break the awkward atmosphere. "Nah, she'll be a housewife!"
All eyes turn to look at him, everyone laughing at his poor attempt at making things less awkward than it already is. Everyone glances from him to me, trying to read my emotionless expression.
"Oh no," Rimsha chuckles, placing her hand onto my shoulder, causing them to stiffen. "Our Alvina will make a great housewife, won't you, honey?"
Is she being serious right now? Cracking pathetic jokes to 'liven' the atmosphere when all it's doing is boiling my blood? This meeting should not be happening and the two of us don't even want to marry, so why are we sat here chin wagging?!
"Well, our son is currently a volunteer at the hospital and wanting to go into the medical field," Zach's Dad pats his son's shoulder proudly, smiling at me. He eyes me skeptically for a few seconds with furrowed brows before laughing. "Oh, she looks worried!"
The parents' laugh heartily, their smiles reaching the corners of their eyes. My face however remains straight, drained from today's events which means not laughing along with the two.
I don't miss the way Zach interlocks his fingers on his lap, glancing at me worriedly every so often. Yet he still gives me a small smile which I don't return.
His Mum clears her throat, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "His studies aren't going to get in the way of your marriage, dear!"
Hold up, hold up!
I almost choke on my spit and my eyes widen in alarm, my feelings of tiredness being replaced with anxiety. My face begins to burn and my heart begins to heat faster.
Marriage?!
I whip my face to raise an eyebrow at Zach, giving him a questioning look. "That's not happening. We both don't want this-"
"Yes," A voice decides to speak, sending shivers down my spine. "It is."
I scoff, turning to look at Kamil who now stands besides his Mother, ignoring the fear which starts to surface. "No, it's not."
Zach's Dad clears his throat and I spin to see both parents looking slightly confused and taken aback. They exchange questioning looks and his Mum bites her lips worringly.
"This is a misunderstanding," I cry, feeling bad for dropping this on them. "This really isn't meant to be happening, it was literally thrown on us, right, Zach?" I spin to face him, eyes pleading for him to speak up yet he scratches the back of his neck, lowering his gaze.
I feel bile rise to my throat, my stomach flipping. My hands feel wet and clammy, gripping the sofa for dear life as we await his agreeal.
Why isn't he agreeing?!
"It's okay to be nervous-" Zach's Dad doesn't get to finish his sentence because he's rudely interrupted.
"You knew this was happening so don't pretend that you didn't want this, Alvina." My name on his tongue makes me stiffen and I hold back the urge to snap at him. How dare he intervene and lie about what I want?!
I open my mouth to apologise to Zach's parents and stand from my seat, shrugging Rimsha's hand off my arm but Zach beats me to it, the sound of his voice making me stop in my tracks.
"I said I don't want this now," Zach laughs nervously, fiddling with his fingers that's placed on his lap.
I quirk an eyebrow, staring down at him incredulously, really hoping he isn't going to say what I think he is.
"After I graduate, I'd love to." I almost choke on my spit and suddenly I'm fuming at the boy sat in front of me. Just an hour ago he'd made me believe that this wasnt going to happen but now?!
The excited voices and laughter surround me yet they are blurred into the distance as my body freezes and my vision becomes blurry. I find it hard to breathe as hugs are traded yet all I can feel is everything colliding towards me, trapping me within a tight space.
With no escape in sight.
•••
Can't Escape has hit 1K! Thank you all so much! *tight hug*
Idk if this will be my last update for a while because exams are racing towards us and I'm stressing out *whispers* about life.
LOL
Hopefully i can squeeze in another chappy EEK! Wish you the best in your exams x
P.S WHAT DO YOU THINK IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!
hehe