Don't kiss him Mel.
Don't you dare.
Pull away.
I think at this point we've already established that I never listen to my inner voice. Well, when it comes to Zayn anyway. I halfheartedly try to pull away but he's holding my face, keeping me from moving away. So I give in. I kiss him back and in that moment everything besides us, fades away. Nothing else but this kiss matters. Not the fact that we're not together anymore, nor the fact that we ditched a charity event to fight and kiss. Nothing is important, but us.
My hands go to his hair and my hands tug. He groans and I realized how much I've missed his body against mine. I deepen the kiss and I guess that's what he was waiting for because he takes control and pushes me against the wall. The kiss becomes primal and possessive. Reminds me of the times he was being a "caveman" and he would kiss me hard just to prove a point. I love it. My hands stay buried in his hair and his grip on my hips tighten. He starts kissing my jaw and neck and I feel him bite down my cleavage.
The room is filled with moaning and heavy breathing. And I moan particularly loud as he suddenly grabs my ass with both hands, pressing me against him.
"Quiet." He whispers and his face is back up to my jaw. He connects our mouths again and we moan together as our tongues meet. I tug him back by his hair and I bite on his bottom lip. I don't know where my braveness comes from, but I kiss his jaw then his neck and we're both aware that I'm leaving hickeys behind. When I raise my head, He's starting down at me with dark eyes and a small smirk. He lifts one hand from my butt to trail one finger down my cleavage. "You look so beautiful. So hot." He pecks me. "I saw a few men looking at you. I wish they could see you like this, in my arms. Wanting me like this." He breathes.
"Caveman." I whisper back against his lips. He smiles and closes his eyes as he kisses me again. This kiss is still passionate but slower and has more meaning behind It. What exactly, I don't know. We kiss slowly and my arms move around his neck and his move to my waist. Everything about this is so familiar but it feels so brand new at once. His soft lips, warm toned body and his intoxicating scent. He truly is perfect.
"It always comes to this, doesn't it? We always find ourselves like this." He says.
"We do." I nod
"I missed you. I missed this."
"I missed you too. I think after tonight I'll be probably feel depressed again." He gives me a confused look.
"Why?"
"This doesn't change anything Zayn. We still have too much problems." It pains me to say it but we both know it's the truth. "and it won't help me with moving on at all."
"Maybe you shouldn't be moving on." He says.
"We're too complicated. Maybe we should do it now before we make it worse for ourselves."
"Even though we're both hurting? This right here..." he gestures to us holding on to each other. "...clearly proves I can't stay away from you and you can't stay away from me. You know it's true. I don't want to lose you."
"I don't want to lose you either. I don't want to lose any more important people in my life. I've had enough of that already."
"You don't have to." I try to tell him that it's for the best but he puts a finger on my lips. "We don't have to get back together just yet but I still want you in my life."
"You do? because I'm done going around in circles and I'm done playing games."
"Just promise me that you'll keep in touch and that you'll call me whenever you need something, anything. No matter what it is. Even if it's just to talk." I swallow hard and I don't see that ever working out. I know that if I were to "keep in touch" it would be like reminding myself of what I can't have. It would be like being in love with someone you know you could never have. It would be a bad idea. He kisses me again slow and sweet. He probably knows I'm going over everything that could go wrong and he probably knows he's my weakness. "Same goes for me."
"Zayn..."
"Friends?" he asks, cutting my protest short. "Just friends." Somehow I can hear the 'for now' at the end. He pecks me once again and I relent. He smiles when he realizes he has me.
"Okay." I say a little out of breath. "Just friends." I just hope I haven't made another big mistake.
"Good." He smiles. "We should probably head back before people think I've murdered you."
"That's a bit dark." I laugh and he shrugs sheepishly. "what?" I ask amused.
"I think you rubbed off on me so I watched the CI channel a few times..." he shrugs again and I laugh.
"That explains it." He chuckles.
"I guess." It's actually scary that we're back in our comfort zone so easily, as if nothing changed.
I fix my hair and clothes, trying not to look like I just wrestled tongues with my ex. He fixes his tie and suit. He runs his hands through his hair but he actually makes it look all the more like he just had sex. I won't tell him though. He looks too hot. We walk back to the hall in comfortable silence. I mentally scold myself for falling so easily for his charms. I can't believe I fell back in his arms so easily. I shake my head as everyone comes into view.
Everyone is now moving about, mingling and talking amongst one another. Most are holding Champaign glasses or some sort of food. Zayn and I separate at the door and he winks at me before walking over to Suzanne. Only then do I notice the tint of lipstick on his mouth. With his hair and lips, people will definitely know he was with someone. I show him and he wipes his lips as he walks away. I look around until I see Cate talking to someone. I walk over and she spots me before I get there. She excuses herself from the person and she walks over to me with a blank expression so I don't know what she's thinking right now.
"You feeling okay? You were gone for a quite a while..."
"Uh yeah I was... yeah no I'm fine thanks. I wasn't feeling too good."
"Your lipstick is a bit smudged though. I think half of it is left on Zayn's lips." I choke on air and I feel my eyes widen.
"W-what?"
"Well you both left and came back at the same time. Your lipstick is fading and I can practically see your fingers in his hair. it's kind of obvious you two did something."
"We were just talking..."
"Not just talking though..." ugh this girl.
"Yeah...one thing led to another and we kissed" She gives me that look that says are-you-stupid? "I know. I know but I told him that we can't get back together."
"And?"
"He said we should at least be friends and I said yes..."
"You think that was a good idea? With your guys' history I'm not so sure."
"I don't know." I shrug with a sigh. "I guess we'll just find out later."
"Just be careful okay. It hasn't been fun watching you for the last wo weeks."
"I know but I'll know better this time."
"I hope so."
After that little conversation, we walk around and I get introduced to a few people. Even while talking and introducing myself to people, my attention is not fully on them. My eyes have been wondering around searching. For him. I found him about 30 minutes ago and since then we've been stealing glances at one another.
Cate and I meet our next guest. Two handsome men. We shake hands and we do the normal introductions. I'm aware that they're holding onto our hands longer than necessary and I don't feel anything. Besides admitting that they are handsome, I don't feel any spark, or giddy. I just feel normal. I know the reason for that is because my mind is on another man is this room.
"Is it your first time attending one of these function?" the one in front of me asks.
"Yeah. We actually just moved to London, not too long ago." I answer.
"I should have figured. I'm sure I would've remembered beautiful ladies like you." The other man says. It's all harmless flirting so it doesn't really bother me. Cate and I smile as they both smirk.
"You guys have any plans after this?" the first man asks.
"No. Not really." Cate answers and I just feel them making plans already.
I feel him before I see him.
"Good evening gentlemen." A familiar voice speaks. The men greet him back. "Cate." he greets and I feel his arm snaking around my waist. He stands very close to me and I take comfort in his familiar warmth and smell. All musky and sexy. Cate greets but she doesn't look very impressed with him right now. I don't move away from him; I'm still enjoying this. I can worry about the consequences later. I turn my head sideways to look at him, wondering what the hell he's doing. He also turns and our faces are centimeters away from each other. If I were to tilt my head a bit, we'd be kissing. He gives me smile before he looks to the other men. suddenly Suzie comes to view.
"Good evening." She greets and they get introduced to each other and soon everybody starts a conversation I am not paying attention to. Now that I know she's not into men, I'm not that bothered by her.
"Excuse us for a second." Zayn tells the group and he pulls me along with him. We walk to where there are fewer people but he doesn't let go of me.
"What was that Zayn?" I have to at least pretend as if what he did irritated me.
"I needed to talk to you." He says simply. I know he's lying.
"We just talked Zayn. What could you possibly want to say?" I can tell he's a little amused, his eyes are bright and lips pursed.
"Uh... I wanted to ask if maybe you wanted to have some dinner or lunch sometime you know?"
"You couldn't have texted?" I want to laugh at how ridiculous this is. I also purse my lips to hide my growing smile. He shrugs and he starts drawing patterns on my waist with his thumb. "Friends don't do that you know."
"I know." He says and his eyes are intense. It all clicks.
"You were being a caveman, weren't you?" to be honest, that irritates me for some reason. "You know you can't do that anymore." he shrugs.
"I know." He says and I roll my eyes. "I'm sorry. It's just hard seeing other people hit on you like that and I guess old habits die hard." For some reason I hug him, nuzzling my face into his chest.
"We have to learn to let go though." Even though it's the last thing I want to do.
"I know baby." He says defeated.