The next day, at lunch, I'm talking to my sisters, and just having a jolly time, when a coughing fit strikes. I try to hold it in as I feel bile build up within me, but I vomit. Yes, I still have that sinus infection.
"Dude are you OK?" Morgan asks.
"Yeah," I lie, "I'm fine."
"Dude," Haley replies, "you should go home. You're gonna get everyone else sick."
"Hey," I snap back, "I'm gonna get a lot more done here than I am there. Cause if I go home, I can't hang out outside, and I can't stay inside with my parents."
"You do know some people actually have loving parents right?" Haley asks.
"Well I don't," I reply, "family's a joke and that's all it is."
Haley sighs and lets it go as I wipe up the vomit before a faculty member sees the clear, smelly goo on the table. I just have to keep going. I just have to keep writing. Although... I wish I didn't. I wish, sometimes, that I could just... chill. Not have the urge to write. I love writing, and would do so by choice, but I do it compulsively. I require it.
I just wish that when I woke up at three in the morning, I didn't have to write a chapter to go back to sleep. That I didn't feel like I NEED to write so much. That I had someone by my side, someone to hold on my arms, and just relax. Just someone to make that urge stop, if only for a little bit.
I love writing, and I'll never stop, but I just wish that I could love someone, something, other than putting words to paper...
To bad that's just a distant fantasy to me, so I guess I'll write something else.