Nari sat in Minnie's office. It was small and cozy, filled with little nick knacks from friends and loyal customers. Souvenirs from other countries, signed photos of celebrities, the history of The Cup Holder was evident in the amount of things Minnie had put into this room. Nari smiled at the tissue that was being held in front of her face. She took it gratefully and wiped her tears away. The silence was deafening and she knew Minnie was waiting for her to speak but she didn't know exactly how to start.
"Nari, sweetie, do you want to know why I called you in here?"
Nari looked at her boss and friend. She nodded slightly and waited for the older woman to speak.
"I could tell your mind was a muddled mess. Want to know how I knew?"
Nari weakly nodded again. She hated to be reminded of her short-comings.
"I could hear it in your music. Music is an expression of the heart. When everything is as it should be, the music is beautiful and flowing. It's happy. Even sad music can sound happy when the heart is right. It's just the opposite when the heart is out of sorts. Your music told me something was amiss so I'm here to find out what that might be." She smiled sweetly at the young lady in front of her.
Nari wiped some more tears away and sighed. "I don't know what to do," she whispered. "There's someone that wants me to give them a chance and another that wants me to just be with them. Both of them are my friends and I don't want to hurt either of them. I turned one down this evening and in the process, I think I hurt them both." She leaned her head back and stared at the ceiling, tears streaming towards her ears.
Minnie sat back with a soft smile. "You hurt them both because you haven't let your heart decide what it wants. I think you're holding back, but for what reason? Fear of the unknown? Fear of being vulnerable to another human being? An aversion to love?"
"One I know a little but I'm kind of interested in getting to know him better. One I consider a good friend. Neither of them are happy in the position they're in. Both want more. I don't know how to handle it. What do I do?" Her eyes pled with Minnie to give her an answer of any kind.
"You decide what you really want and go for it without regrets or apologies. One of them will inevitably be disappointed or even hurt. But nothing is worse than stringing them both along and hurting both of them beyond repair. However, if you aren't ready, then they need to understand that also and if they're worth their salt, they will." Minnie smiled and handed Nari another tissue. "And as far that big ape in the kitchen goes, he's not ready for someone yet, he just doesn't want to admit it." She winked at Nari and sat back in her chair.
Nari looked down at her hands fidgeting with the thin white material. She felt drained, emotionally and physically. She hated disappointing people more than anything. She wouldn't consider herself a people pleaser per say, but she definitely hated letting them down. "Minnie, would it be okay if I go home early?"
Minnie nodded and encouraged her to go home, get something to eat, and then sleep. She promised Nari she would have a clearer head about things tomorrow. Nari nodded in agreement and expressed her thanks at being able to talk to someone.
As she was gathering her things to leave, a tall take-out cup was thrust in front of her. She looked up and saw a brooding Jun holding the cup out to her. She slowly took it from his hands, her eyes questioning his actions.
"I figured you could use something to drink on your way home." He gave her a small, half-hearted smile and walked back into the kitchen.
Nari looked down at the plain cup and slowly left the cafe through the back door. She stood outside in the clear night air, looking around her surroundings. She didn't want to go home yet. There was something she needed to do first. As she walked between two buildings to the street, she pulled out her phone and quickly typed a message. She walked a few blocks away from the shop before she sat down on a park bench and waited for a reply.
The reply never came.
* * *
It was just before dawn when Jimin staggered back into the dorm. He was exhausted. He had beaten himself up mentally and physically. His feet now were throbbing as was every other muscle in his body. As he kicked his shoes off inside the door he turned and almost bumped into Namjoon coming down the hall.
"Coming in late, huh?" Namjoon held a bottle of water in his hand. He looked his fellow member over carefully. He noticed the dead look in Jimin's tired eyes and he felt curious and an urgency to help. "Want to talk about it?"
Jimin wearily shook his head from side to side, keeping his eyes turned towards the floor. He wasn't in the mood for another lecture from his leader. He tried to move past Namjoon but felt a strong hand grip his forearm.
"C'mon," said Namjoon lowly, dragging Jimin behind him.
Jimin winced as his footsteps fell heavy on the floor, causing prickles of pain to creep across his soles. Once inside Namjoon's studio, he collapsed down onto the floor pillows. "Please let me go to bed," he said softly, staring at his hands, now neatly folded in his lap.
"Nope. Not till you tell me what's going on. You've been practicing or working out. Either way, you've done it too long and I can tell you're exhausted. But why you did it for that long is what's got me curious, Jimin. 'Fess up." The elder member folded his arms across his chest as he sat down in his desk chair and and slowly swiveled left to right and back again.
Jimin sighed and ran a weak hand through his hair. Just raising his arm made him ache. "You were right," he whispered.
"About...?" Namjoon did his best to wait for Jimin's slow replies, but it was a hard job.
"The girl."
Namjoon let out a heavy sigh and his chair stopped moving. He could see Jimin was struggling to speak but he left him to work out his own answer.
"We came home. I found her holding the hand of another man. Plain and simple. You were right." Jimin's voice took on a bitter tone and it made Namjoon's physically hurt to hear it.
"What did you see?"
"Tae and I saw her holding another man's hand. Her coworker to be exact. You were right, hyung. She wanted stable and normal." Jimin felt his eyes become hot and he quickly blinked back any tears that crept into them.
"If you're sure that's how it really is, then I'm very sorry for you, Jimin. But maybe it was a misunderstanding?" Namjoon tried to get the younger man to think about the situation from a different perspective.
Jimin shook his head firmly. "I know what I saw. You won't have to worry about me being distracted anymore, hyung," he said as he struggled to his feet slowly. "I'll focus and be back into the groove of things, one hundred percent." He licked his lips and quickly turned towards the door. "May I go?" he asked softly, waiting for permission to leave.
"Mm. Sure," hummed Namjoon, watching as Jimin quickly left his studio. He frowned slightly. His friend was obviously hurt deeply. Until he was able to move past that, his promise of being back in the game at one hundred percent would just be a far away dream.
Namjoon swiveled back to his desk and looked at the screen. His train of thought was gone and he frowned. He would have to come back to this later. Maybe some sleep would be helpful. He chuckled wryly to himself and pushed himself up out to the chair.
He walked down the hallway and to the room he shared with Taehyung. He opened the door quietly and slid into the room, expecting darkness, but finding the lamp clipped to Taehyung's bed still brightly lit. He sighed and smiled, padding quietly over to the lamp, reaching out to click it off.
"Did you talk to him?" came a low voice, catching him off-guard.
"Whoa, Tae, you startled me," he said softly, quickly moving back from the bedside.
Taehyung sat up in his bed, his eyes swollen and blood shot. His hair wasn't very messy and his blankets hardly moved around. Namjoon looked at him with concern.
"Have you been sleeping?"
"No." Tae's reply was short and curt. He leaned up against the wall beside his bed and pulled his knees up to his chest. "Did you talk to him?"
Namjoon sat down and looked at him. "You look awful," he whispered, earning a dark glare from his roommate. He laughed softly and raised his eyebrows a bit, then lowering them. "Yeah, I talked to him. He's convinced she's with another guy now. He wouldn't even try to think of it from a different perspective. You might have to tell him you talked to her."
Taehyung shook his head. "No, I'm going to give her the opportunity to talk to him. I don't really want to get involved. I mean, I already involved myself, I guess, just by talking to her at the cafe. But I don't want to meddle anymore than I already have." His voice became a whisper as he continued to speak. "I just hate seeing my best friend hurting, you know?"
Namjoon nodded. "I understand. Don't loose too much sleep over it though, Tae. If he's going to be stubborn about it, then it's his beast to deal with. You and I will help him where we can. It might be best to just stay on the sidelines and watch."
"Yeah," mumbled Taehyung.
Just then the door to the room opened, and a shirtless Jungkook staggered in, clearly half-asleep. He groaned slightly as the light made him squint. The two older members watched in amusement as the maknae clicked off the lamp, leaving the room in darkness. He then proceeded to push past Namjoon and crawled into Taehyung's bed like a toddler crawling into bed with it's parents. He sighed contentedly as he snuggled as far as he could down into the blankets.
"Yah, Kookie, what are you doing?" said Taehyung softly, not sure if the kid would hear him or not.
"I've been kicked out of everyone's bed tonight," murmured Jungkook. "Jimin even yelled at me," he whimpered dramatically, his eyes closing tightly, soft snores following quickly.
Namjoon and Taehyung looked at each other in the darkened room lit slightly by the lights from the other buildings and street lights. Both understood that Jimin was not one to fly off the handle, especially at Jungkook. He was definitely hurting and neither of them were sure how long they could stand by and wait for him to work it out on his own.
"Well, have fun with that," laughed Namjoon, waving his hand at Jungkook, who was taking up over half the twin-sized bed.
Taehyung grumbled under is breath and shoved Jungkook over a bit. "Scoot, you big lug," he grunted, pushing the muscled maknae over slightly. Jungkook responded by throwing his hand over Taehyung's chest and snuggling up to him. Taehyung groaned and Namjoon just laughed as he crawled into his own bed.
Soon the room was quiet, sleep overtaking them all.
* * *
Jimin laid in his bed, finally pulling out his phone for the first time since he left Taehyung in front of the cafe window. He saw several messages from his managers and the members. He sighed and rolled over onto his side, the light of his phone illuminating his face.
From Taehyung : "Jiminie, call me! We need to talk. Okay?"
From Managernim : "We need to talk about your individual schedule coming up asap. Call me."
He sighed as he read more messages like the others. He scrolled quickly but a certain message caught his eye. He frowned as he read it.
From Nari : "Jimin, can we talk? I think I need to clarify some things. Please?"
Oh sure. Clarify what? The fact you're in love with someone else that's obviously bigger and better than me? Someone more reliable? Someone whom you can date freely? Want to clarify that? Huh?
He rolled over onto his back, dropping his phone onto the bed. She had sent the message a long time ago. Maybe she had forgotten about it all by now.
He jerked his phone up and brought up his contacts, going directly to her name. His finger hovered over the "delete" button and his breathing quickened as all the harsh emotions he had been trying to bury and ignore all night came bubbling to the surface. He grit his teeth together and his nose and lips twitched as his thumb trembled over the button.
He had been so foolish. He knew the unwritten law of the world. A fan would never date their celebrity and vice versa. He had been so blind and stupid. But was it wrong of him to dream? Was it wrong for him to hope she would finally see him as more than a celebrity someday? To hope that maybe she would see him as a man?
His face softened as his thumb slowly moved away from the delete button next to her name. Tears rushed down his cheeks as his pained heart took the time to fully feel all it had been full of for a while.