Yay, updates!!!! I was actually planning on posting this yesterday but I got caught up working on my other novels. But never fear, I haven't forgotten about you guys.
Happy Reading.
Love
NJ Kuhr
XOXO
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All the food had been cleared away but not before Bash and I shared a plate of desserts. He'd picked out a portion of everything and handed me a fork. Seeing us eat off the same plate sent the pack into another wave of silent glee.
He didn't need to ask to know which one was my favorite. Bash fed me the last bit of cheesecake off his own fork and the pack bond felt like they were cheering though no one made a sound. There was a static charge vibrating the pack bonds.
After that it was games and frolicking. There were a few people boating on the lake and along the shore. Werewolves sink. Our muscles are too dense to float so no one was swimming without life vests. I couldn't stop laughing at Wes with floaties around his huge arms and ankles as he floated on his back just off shore. Not so deep that he would drown and people could reach him but enough that his feet didn't touch.
He'd been a swimmer and water skier before the change. It was one of the few things about being human he missed the most. The pack was somewhat used to it but there was still some apprehension. For some it was equivalent to watching a death defying circus performance. When I found it funny it eased their discomfort and for once it felt like I belonged in a way the pack bond hadn't provided. I was included and appreciated.
They started a softball game. The field was much larger than professional baseball fields. The bases set four times further apart than they should be. The outfielders all the way back by the tree line. With werewolf vision and werewolf speed the game was almost too easy so some cheating was encouraged to make it interesting.
Zeek got his payback for flipping him off while I was up to bat. Just as Conner threw a two-hundred mph fastball I got an image of Zeek mooning me from shortstop through the pack bond. Of course I burst into laughter and anyone within a mile suddenly felt high on bliss for a millisecond before the baseball slammed into my shoulder.
It was my fault, I giggle with my whole body and leaned into the strike zone. Regardless Bash was instantly at my side with a growl at Conner, his gold eyes silver disks. His wolf sending agitated ripples through the pack bonds as pain blossomed down my arm. Instant Omega buzz kill.
"I'm alright." I winced a little but was still grinning. Zeek, Alek, Conner and a few others moved quickly. The baseball was still rolling off the plate when they circled me. "Zeek could use a tan though. Our wolves won't be able to see the moon past that glow."
He made a face but I could smell his concern and guilt.
"Anything Broken?" Sebastian shot Zeek a warning for making me hurt myself and for sending me inappropriate images of his body. It was just his backside but possessiveness seeped into the mate bond.
"Sebastian." I kept my tone flirty trying to calm his wolf. "It wasn't their fault. I stepped into it. Nothing is broken but I'm going to have one hell of a bruise for a few hours." I didn't know how to explain the joke between Zeek and me without getting him into more trouble so I pretended not to notice the defensive aggression Sebastian was emitting towards Zeek. His wolf found Zeek a threat to our mate bond.
I swallowed against the rising panic. It had been nice, feeling human for a while, forgetting that underneath the bravado and carefully controlled order we were all monsters.
Violence was a natural part of our existence and Sebastian was struggling with a strangled need to attack. I could feel it trickle down the pack, everyone on edge prepared to fight. Little squabbles growing into bigger problems. Misunderstandings and unintentional disrespects were on the verge of turning into grand offenses.
Zeek felt it too so he gave an apologetic grin and went back to his position in the field removing the threat. I searched for a way to comfort Bash and not make it worse. There was nothing between Zeek and I that should make him jealous but how to show him that? I stopped rubbing my shoulder and lifted it towards him. "See, the bone is fine. You can check."
The dominance receded as Sebastian's silver eyes slid into gold with shock. I'd given him permission to touch me. He would offer to let me touch him but I'd never returned the gesture. The one time when he touched my neck I'd let him but I hadn't offered. Now I was telling him to touch me. It might not seem like there was a difference but for me that was a big deal. Bash went from hostile to cautiously hopeful with three little words.
Molten eyes searched my emerald ones to make sure he'd heard me correctly. I lifted my arm towards him. The mate bond tightened. Something in it changed, grew deeper. He stepped forward, gentle fingers felt around the bruise, feeling for any cracks or fractures in the bone. His touch feather light. I smirked at him when he eventually nodded agreeing, the bone was fine.
"I get first base." It raised the mood back up and brushed off any remaining awkwardness.
To keep the atmosphere uplifted Conner kept up the competitive edge. "You crowded the box."
"The ball still made contact. I get first." He wasn't going to put up too much of a fight with Bash still irritable.
The reluctance to take his hands from my skin was charming. I regretted it as much as he did. There was a pattern forming, a quid-pro-quo. He gets to touch, I get to touch. I reached out and squeezed Bash's arm, as a 'thank-you' and an 'I'm-fine' in one quick touch; reassuring both of us that we were fine before I jogged to first.
Zeek was still feeling sorry for himself. I didn't want him to stop our sibling rivalry so to pull him out of his moping I stole second base out from under his nose. And then third when the ball sailed passed him into outfield that Conner had thrown to catch me. I did a victory dance on third to rub it in.
From the dugout Bash watched my geeky little jig with a peculiar expression on his face. It made my heart beat spike, the muscles low in my belly clinched. My foot slide sideways off the base and I barely kept a toe on as I tipped over catching myself with my hands on the dirt.
After that they kept a closer eye on me when I was on base. Omega doesn't mean submissive, I was aggressive in my own way and sneaky enough to steal bases. A gymnast doesn't get to champion level without a fierce competitive streak. I was much quicker than they were expecting. If they weren't watching closely I could make it to the next base in a flash. Conner didn't walk me again; he went for strikes to keep us from scoring more runs.
We won thanks to a grand slam by Bash in the twenty-second inning. One hundred and thirty-eight points to their One hundred thirty-six. I'd never been to summer camp or had any family reunions but this is what I thought they would be like. What family was supposed to be.
There were other event's going on, tug-a-war with a marine chain made for ships was used instead of rope. Bash made them have it out on the driveway because their feet dug big trenches into the manicured lawn.
He made a face and refused to respond when I told him his OCD was showing.
Alek had to turn away to hide his face from us. It was my goal in life to make that man laugh. I nudged his shoulder. "Come on, that was funny." When he gave me a twitch of his lips I made a grumpy face at him. "My name is Alek and this is my mad face." My voice deep and rough, crossing my arms over my chest I kept my face the same unhappy frown, "and this is my happy face."
I had no problem making Bash laugh. His deep chuckled wasn't held back at all. "That's Alek." He was still snickering when the tug-a-war started.
Alek didn't smile but there were dimples in his checks that weren't there before. I think he folded his arms over his chest to stop himself from laughing then dropped them when he remembered I was doing that to mimic him. I was going to have to get more creative.
Trent and three others against seven and Trent still won. So they tried Trent against nine without success. Bash, Alek and Lance took up the challenge grabbing the huge chain and were barely able to get Trent over the marker with considerable effort.
Games of chess and other board games were scattered around the tables. There were foot races, even a few rounds of juggling that escalated into bowling balls that ended when Conner took one to the head that laid him out for minute.
Bets were made on a Parker vs Patrick speed test which scent my pulse racing with thoughts of the other pack making bets. I was able to work through it with a gentle surge from the pack. I took lead for the first quarter of the track around the small lake but Patrick eventually over took me and won. I was the faster sprinter but he had me in endurance.
A rather brutal game of football slash rugby commenced that I did not take any part of. I wasn't even tempted to play and Bash looked relieved. I wasn't sure how he would react if I'd gotten hurt more seriously. Judging by the deep breath he took when I declined I don't think he did either.
The players didn't hold back and the tackles were rough. The rules were slightly different to make it more challenging for werewolves. The only set rule being don't break bones and no eye gouging. There was still the hunt tonight and a broken bone could mean being left out. They went through seven footballs that were popped or flattened. The laundry basket full of them told me they were prepared for this.
There were a couple of fights that broke out over plays. Bash allowed them to get a few good hits in but would end it before they could turn dangerous. One of the newer wolves who had less control than the others claimed foul and his anger got the best of him. Bash had to break it up.
The young man was on the verge of shifting until Bash grabbed him by the back of the neck and forced him down on his knees. He squatted down in front of him keeping his head higher so the kid was still submissive but Bash could keep eye contact, his hand firm on his nape. They held that position until the man was able to gain control of his wolf again.
I kept my distance, fighting a battle of my own. Trying to keep my breathing under control and not make a run for it. He would lose the fight with his wolf if I presented myself as prey. Things that ran were food. If he took chase Bash would have no choice but to kill him. An unleashed wolf on the hunt could not be stopped.
When the kid was alright Bash let him up. He thanked Bash but I caught a quick glance my way. That's when I noticed he wasn't the only one looking at me. He'd needed a calming influence, that was what I should provide for the pack.
Werewolves may be immortal but the average lifespan was only a few decades. An Omega meant more people survived the change and the first year because I could help them learn control. Husbands and sons wouldn't die in dominance fights because I tempered the violence.
Bash reached out and turned the new wolfs face away from me and back to him. "She can't bring you peace if she doesn't have any to give. You scared her. Cade, controlling the wolf is your responsibility, not hers. You need to learn how to find balance on your own because she's not always going to be there. Rely on yourself first. Being dependent on an Omega to control the violent nature of yourself is dangerous. Parker is a sanctuary not a weapon. She can help if you lose it but she can't master the wolf for you."
Deciding my presence was no longer beneficial I removed myself from the spectators. The burst of fear and then guilt took a while to work through but Bash had helped. He was right, they needed to be able to coexist with their wolves without my aid. Omega could easily become a crutch, if the pack became too dependent on me keeping them calm they were vulnerable. Too much peace would make them weak. I felt relieved, there wasn't as much pressure on me to keep the pack docile. I hadn't let them down.
I sat in a lounge chair off to the side on the patio with Laurel and Melody watching the sun get closer to the mountain range as the day wore on. Melody was the pack bookkeeper of sorts. She wasn't exactly the secretary but she was responsible for the pack records. I listened to their chatter and gossip for a while not knowing most of the people they talked about.
It was almost time.
Everyone was starting to edge closer to the pack house, excitement building. The smell was urging the anticipation even further.
There was a good five foot drop off the deck in front of where we were resting. Bash walked across the lawn heading for us. He leaped up onto the deck avoiding the stairs. Gemini watching his body flex, approving of his easy strength. I couldn't tell if he was showing off but that was driven from my mind when his scent hit me. He'd been sweating. The football game required more energy to play than baseball. There was a ring of moisture around his collar and I'd bet if he turned around his white shirt would have a wet stripe down his back.
Laurel and Melody weren't paying attention they were caught up in their own conversation. Bash caught me staring. He reached down and pulled the bottom of his shirt up to wipe the sweat off his face stretching the fabric. In the back of my mind I knew he'd done it on purpose, he was cunning and knew what he was doing. My eyes were distracted enough not to care if it was intentional, taking in his washboard abs and mouthwatering v-line that disappeared into his jeans.
My face burned as crimson flooded my skin. Laurel and Melody wouldn't notice it but I did. It was a scent that used to make me ill. Arousal. My own. It was faint but it was there. And Bash could smell it too. His eyes shimmered, not full silver but enough to know his wolf had taken notice.
I dragged my eyes away from him when he pulled his shirt back down. The last thing I saw before I fixated on the edge of the dock was the look of success that saturated his features. He took the last few steps over to our chairs and sat down on the edge of mine. They were heavy wood patio chairs meant for stretching out but I'd been sitting legs tucked. When he sat down on the end my side lifted into the air.
My eyes flashed in alarm and my hands shot out to grab the arm rest. Bash chuckled shifting closer so the weight balanced and the chair set back down.
He was too much of a gentleman to point out that he could smell my attraction to him but his eyes were glowing with the knowledge. I couldn't meet them without turning into a fire hydrant.
Glancing east to gage the moon's arrival he gave me a break from his gaze and waited until my blush faded. It didn't. "The sun will set behind the mountains soon but we still have some time before it gets dark. The pack shifts in the yard but would you like to shift inside the house. I always start the shift but Wes volunteered to wait for you. The doors tend to get destroyed when our wolves try to open them."
Laurel and Melody had stopped talking to see what I was going to do. My embarrassment faded. I shouldn't have been surprised, Bash was always considerate. I'd been dreading shifting in front of everyone. My anxiety had been building all day. Now that it was time that anxiety boiled into fear.
"What if this is a bad idea?" I whispered, not because no one would hear me but my throat was constricting.
"Why would it be a bad idea?"
I glanced around at the pack, imagining them turning on each other. My eyes teared up. "Bash what if she makes everyone....." A few tears rolled down my cheeks. "In Phoenix, the first full moon made us shift. We couldn't stop it. The pack... they went crazy."
Images filtered through my mind. Garrett and Bradley fighting each other. They didn't kill each other because they were too busy killing the wolves who tried to reach me. I had blood splatter all over me as bodies piled around us.
"What if I'm a danger to the pack. I don't... I don't want anyone to die and if she... If we endanger the pack you're going to have to kill me too." I didn't want to lose anyone, not when I was finally able to be a true part of the pack. They weren't just scary werewolves, they were my scary werewolves. They're mine. Or, at least they were beginning to be.
"That would never happen, Parker." His tone soft but his eyes were heart broken. "Garrett and his pack had lost their humanity. You and your wolf weren't to blame. You could never be a danger to this pack. We're a lot stronger than Phoenix and our wolves are healthy and sane. That won't happen here. If you really don't want to shift you don't have to. We can build up to that but never doubt yourself or us."
The pack sent me reassurance and support through the bond. He gave me a small grin. "See. You're ours too."
I didn't mind that they were listening. I wanted them to know I wasn't rejecting them. My fear wasn't of them, it was for them.
"They know you're scared for them. Not only can we feel your need to protect us but you wear your emotions on your face." He was trying to cheer me up. "Omega doesn't mean submissive remember. You have all the protective instincts of an Alpha."
"Is that why you made my plate and had me sit on your left side?" I asked though I'd planned to have this conversation in private but something had registered in my mind at his words.
"Not exactly." There was that secretive smirk that made me want to throw something at him. "That was something different though as an Omega you are due that position under specific conditions. So either way it was appropriate."
It was a good change of subject but I had a strong feeling I knew what he meant. "So it had more to do with being your mate than being Omega." I made sure my tone wasn't questioning. He had a way of answering questions without providing anything.
He lip twitched. "The left side of the Alpha is always reserved for his mate. If the Alpha doesn't have one and there is an Omega in the pack, male or female, they can hold that position but only temporarily."
That was what the pack was feeling earlier. Bash was treating me as his mate. Laurel had explained what that meant to me. The Alpha's mate brought balance to the pack. She evened out the Alpha's power. That doesn't mean she lessens it, she increases her mate's dominance, complimenting it with security, nurturing. They both protect the pack in different ways. I wasn't sure if I was fit for the job. Either job, mate or Omega. I was barely capable of taking care of myself. The pack was relying on me to be both. There were an awful lot of ways I could fail them.
"Wes won't be left behind if he has to wait for me?" If I failed it wasn't going to be because I didn't try. It was a compromise. If Gem was too much I could stay in the house.
Bash grinned. "No, he changes faster than most and there are new wolves shifting for the first time. His wolf won't be the last."
He stood up only rocking my chair a little. Laurel and Melody got out of theirs. I waited for Bash to step back to give me room to get up but he didn't. Not willing to stand down to his tiny challenge I uncurled my legs trying to be as graceful as possible and stood up. He'd given me about an inch of space to stand, the top of my head coming up below his chin as I rose. My pulse quickened and my scent doubled. The distraction was effective, my concern faded.
His voice was low enough I was the only one who heard him. "I love that blush."
Pink cheeks stirred into flame but I didn't drop my eyes. Two can play this game. The pack couldn't see me dwarfed by his solid frame and they'd turned away to give us what privacy they could. Tilting my jaw I rose up onto my toes. I didn't touch him that was too hard but I could be just as coy.
Closing my eyes I lifted my nose to the vein just below his ear and inhaled, taking in his scent. Sweat heady with musk and clove his body's natural fragrance, there was grass and earth mixed in. His Alpha smelled of crisp mountain streams, pure and forceful at the same time. Even in late May he smelled like winter. Before I'd taken in a full breath desire mingled into his scent.
And just like that I turned the tables on him.