XXV. Sorely Misinformed
Madison Shepherd
“Oh my God!” Taralynn was staring at me open mouthed in shock. I had just relayed what had transpired between me and Angelo only the day before. “I can’t believe he actually did that, Madison,” she gasped again. “I mean, it doesn’t sound like Angelo at all. Why would he do something like that?”
“Because he’s hateful and he’s trying to act out,” I sighed. I had wanted to call jasper and tell him about it too but I trumped the idea quickly enough. Jasper would not be happy to know that I had gone to see my psychotic ex-boyfriend without notifying him and who could blame him, really? After all that Jasper had done for mew the least I could do was tell him what my plans were with Angelo. If I had actually told him, perhaps he might have stopped me form going there to make a fool of my side. Images of his mocking look and his sharp words flashed through my mind and I struggled valiantly to block them out but I couldn’t. Why couldn’t I? Because even at his worst place, I just could not let him go, like a very unhealthy obsession I wanted a real reason as to why all this was going on. I wanted to know the real reason behind it. It wasn’t just the fact of Jasper, it was something else.
Taralynn was silent as she studied me. We were at Jasper’s apartment, I had invited her over because Jasper said he was going to be away for a few days and he didn’t want to leave me alone. I didn’t want to go home to my father for fear of confronting him and actually hearing the real truth. That Angelo had been right and he had been paying off the mafia. Angelo said he had hired them to eliminate opposition, did he have them killed? From what I knew the Colombians were the most ruthless of organizations and my dad had somehow gotten himself mixed up with them. It couldn’t get any worse than that.
“So, now what are you going to do?” she asked me softly. “Do you still love him?”
“I don’t know Tara,” I sighed, “After everything that he’s put me through, I’d just want nothing more than to despise him... but…. I don’t know. I have to forget about him, I should forget about him. I mean, when I have Jasper here, I sometimes don’t know what I’m doing thinking about Angelo.”
“Jasper?” she frowned. “What do you mean?”
“It’s just that Jasper has always been there for me, Tara,” I sighed. “When this whole thing with Angelo started, Jasper was the one person that I could go to and he would listen. He never tried anything and…. I just feel so guilty about all this.”
“So… have you forgotten that jasper is the whole reason that this whole mess all started in the first place?” Taralynn quickly reminded me harshly.
“Tara, Jasper didn’t do this. I did ok? I was keeping way too many secrets from Angelo. I’ll admit that, part of this is my fault. If I had just been straight with Angelo from the very start this all wouldn’t have happened.”
“Yeah right,” she scoffed, “Like he didn’t swoop in with is Australian charm and private jet and private island. You can’t tell me you’re that naïve; obviously jasper has been trying to make a move on you since.”
“Look I’ll admit that he’s admitted his intentions.”
“And you’re starting to fall for them,” she accused. “Because as your concerned best friend I really have to know what the deal is with Jasper. Like, are you switching hotties now?”
“What?”
“Just admit it, Madison, Jasper has gotten under your skin and you let him.” She shook her head, “Not that I blame you. He kind of made it hard for you to resist.”
“Angelo wasn’t totally innocent in the whole issue too,” I remind her. : I mean wasn’t the whole point of us being together was that we could talk about anything, work through anything. You know how stubborn he really is, he wouldn’t give me a chance to explain he just jumped to conclusions.”
“Well it wasn’t like you gave him much of a choice,” she countered, “You know how sensitive he is first hand, I mean look what he did to Carson the night he saved you. His temper sometimes rules him bit he’s only human.”
“It sounds like you’re making excuses for Angelo and trying to paint Jasper as the bad guy,” I said coolly. “I wish you’d stop it, Tara. I don’t need you to be all judgmental; I just need you to be my friend.”
“Fine,” she held up her hand, “I promise that I won’t be judgmental for tonight.” She stood up, “So can we at least get this slumber party started or what?”
I smiled and we went to raid Jasper’s wine cabinet. Irresponsible, I know but we were both feeling little reckless. We blasted the music from Jasper’s home theater and danced away the issues. It felt good not to care even for a small moment, to not just think about Angelo and all the conflict that was going on inside me. Do I forget about him? And if I do, do I go for Jasper because he’s there? We danced all around the living room and finally up to Jasper’s huge bathroom where we collapsed together in the tub from sheer exhaustion.
“I don’t know why I never thought about this before,” I sighed as I looked around the white room. “I mean Jasper’s place is like the perfect slumber party venue, Tara. He’s got everything we need and we could just relax and indulge ourselves.”
“Uh, cooties! Duh!” she snorted. “I mean, could you just imagine all the sluts that Jasper has probably lured into his den of iniquity?”
“Tara.”
“Oh,” she saw my reaction and sighed, “My bad.”
“No, don’t let me stop you.” I said sarcastically, “Why don’t we just bad mouth Jasper. After all he’s the bad guy right?”
“I’m just saying. You have to admit it, no matter how bad the gangster Angelo is, you could never accuse him of being a man whore. I wish I could say the same for our Aussie friend.”
“Do you think it makes me happy to know that you hate him?” I glared at her and stepped out of the bathtub. “Tara he’s been there for me, you can’t just ignore all that.”
“And so what he deserves an award?” she retorted scornfully. “So what next? You guys are going to make out some more when he gets back?”
“Who says I have to wait that long?” I replied, lifting my chin defiantly.
She gasped. “You didn’t!”
“Well I did ok! Once and I was hoping I could tell my best friend about it but here you are being as judgmental as usual just because he’s not Angelo!” I stormed out of the bathroom with Tara following after me.\
“Maddie! Wait! How could you make out with Jasper again?’ se demanded shrilly.
“Tara don’t freak out.”
“Freak out? I am about to have a brain hemorrhage!” She folded her hands and planted myself in her front
"Ugh!" Taralynn shuddered. "Madison, stop this! You can't be feeling this way about Jasper. I mean not when the Angelo issue is still very much unresolved."
"The Angelo issue is very much resolved, Tara," I said firmly. "I mean I can't keep waiting for Angelo to realize how unfair he's being or to just keep hoping that he comes back. I mean however we want to sugar coat it, it's obvious that something has changed between Jasper and I."
"Ok! Ok! Say that's true," she agreed for a moment, "so this means you and Angelo are over for good?"
I nodded. That was exactly what it meant. I couldn't wait around or hope anymore. "Yeah, Tara. It's time for me to face reality. Angelo's gone and we're never getting back to whatever we were before."
"And when exactly did you make this decision?" she wondered. "Was this before or after you slept with Jasper? Did he say it was over and you just swallowed it?"
I must have stared at Taralynn for a full minute with my mouth hanging open in shock.
She frowned at me, uncomfortable with my surprise. "Uh... Madison?"
"What?" I said, barely containing myself. "What did you just say?"
"About you and Jasper?" she asked and I nodded. "Well I was wondering if you figured you liked Jasper before or after you slept with him."
"Taralynn Rivera!" I shout. "Where the hell do you get off saying crazy things like that?"
"Oh come on, Madison," she said impatiently. "You're talking to me here; you don't have to lie to me. I told you I'm judging you anymore."
"I'm not!" I reply quickly and I cover my face. "I can't believe you think I slept with Jasper, Taralynn. We haven't even gotten to that stage in whatever relationship we have."
"So you two have never hooked up at all during this time?" she asked frowning deeply, and studying my face to find if I was lying to her.
"Of course not!"
"What about when he took you to his private island in Macau?" she demanded. "Didn't you sleep with him there?"
What would possess Taralynn to think something like that? If I recalled, I had only broken up with Angelo the previous day so there was no way I would be jumping into another guy's bed the next day, even if it was Jasper's. "Taralynn I told you, I have never, ever slept with Jasper. Not once. Well, that night my emotions were all over the place and Jasper was there and," I paused and exhaled trying to get over my embarrassment at the way I had behaved that right, "Well Jasper was there for me and I kissed him."
"But you didn't sleep with him," she said very quietly.
"No," I said. "I didn't sleep with him. I don't know if I wanted to or not as I was still very hurt because of Angelo. I just wanted to forget about him. I kissed Jasper and we kind of made out but that was it."
To be honest, that night had been so very crazy. I unwilling went back to the memory I had tried to bury.
Jasper and I had been laying his bed kissing fervently, his hands roamed my body, touching and caressing. For a brief second, if I closed my eyes and opened them again, I could hear Angelo's voice softly whispering in my ear. I wanted Angelo and not Jasper.
I come almost hear him saying, "Madison... Oh, Madison... you're so beautiful. You're my beautiful princess..."
It was those memories that made me kiss Jasper even more and he mistook it for passion. His hands unbuttoned my blouse and he pinned me beneath his body.
"Look at me, love," he murmured, "I want you to see that it's Jasper here. Angelo can't hurt you anymore. He's gone."
His words were like a slap on my face and even as he bent his head to capture my ear lobe in his mouth and tug with his teeth, I was reminded that I was with Jasper and not Angelo. It would be unfair to use Jasper like this selfishly, especially when he had done nothing but been a very good friend to me when I needed to him. His hands went to the front clasp of my bra and I quickly stopped him.
"What's wrong, love?"
"I... I...I can't," I said weakly, "I'm sorry, Jasper. I'm just not ready to do this."
"Oh," he frowned then nodded before getting off me. "It's alright then."
"I'm sorry Jasper... I just...” I broke down and started sobbing.
"Hey, hey, none of that love," he soothed, drawing me into his embrace. "Nothing happened. It's alright."
He let me cry myself out until I was nothing more than a hiccupping, shivering mess. He pulled the blanket tighter around us, "Try not to think," he said, as he stroked my hair, "Just let me hold you."
"Please don't leave me alone, Jasper," I sobbed. "Don't leave me alone tonight."
"Never," he promised and kissed the top of my head.
We stayed like that until I drifted to sleep.
"And that was what really happened," I said to Taralynn.
"In the morning, when we were video chatting, why did you tell me you slept with him?"
I remembered our argument, "But...I didn't."
"You kind of did. Oh my God! What have I done?" Taralynn had gone very pale and she was almost shivering. "Oh my God! Oh my God! I did this!" She began to pace up and down the living room.
"Tara? What's going on?"
"After our argument that morning, Angelo called me Madison. He was looking for you."
"Ok?" I folded my hands. "That happened several weeks ago."
"You don't get it!" her voice had risen shrilly. "Madison, he was looking for you. He asked me to meet him somewhere. You weren't answering your phone and he thought you were avoiding him because he couldn't get through to you."
"Ok..." I wondered why she was bringing it all up now and where she was going.
She continued pacing, wringing her hands, "Angelo asked me where you were." She looked at me and to my surprise her eyes had filled with tears, "I told him Madison."
I rushed to her and held her, "Hey, its ok. I'm not mad that you did. I suppose he would have found out sooner or later right?"
"No!" she cried wrenching free. "He asked where you were and I said you were with Jasper. I told him you were together, Madison. I told him you were together."
She wasn't making much sense and I was getting worried at her suddenly hysterical behavior. "Taralynn just calm and we can talk about this rationally."
She started speaking in a flurry of unintelligible phrases but I managed to catch a few, "... We were chatting... and then Jasper came out of the shower.... so I thought both of you.... I was so angry because I thought ... but I swear I didn't know... but then Angelo asked me and I told him.....I told him..." she looked at me with watery eyes.
I strung whatever I could together in my head and when I turned them over I began to shake from the revelation of what Taralynn's words had damaged. "Oh my God. You told him what?" Even when she shook her head, I already knew. "Oh, Taralynn Rivera, what have you done? What did you tell Angelo?"
"I... I...t... I told him that you slept with Jasper."
I released her like she was a hot branding iron. She had told him what?! I couldn't decipher the million and one feelings going through my body at the same time but I managed to ask, "Why? Why did you tell him that?" Although I was unaware at the time, I was now screaming at her. "Why did you do it?"
"I didn't know!" she cried. "I mean when we were Skyping and Jasper came in wearing only a towel and..... Angelo asked me what was going on and I just thought he really needed to know... but Madison," she stopped and inhaled, "I swear to God I didn't know the truth! I didn't know until now!"
"I never told you I had sex with Jasper!" I yelled.
"But when I asked you if you did you technically didn't clarify it. You were all defensive!"
"Is that supposed to be an excuse?" I shouted angrily at her and raked my hands through my hair as I began to pace myself. Suddenly it all made sense to me now, all the hostility, his cruel words and his attitude. He had thought I had sex with Jasper when in fact I didn’t! Oh, life was just so cruel. I sank down onto the chair and try to hang on to my breathing otherwise I would just lose consciousness and I couldn’t have that. I looked at Taralynn sobbing quietly. She was my best friend and yet she had unknowingly driven a wedge between me and the boy I loved. I wanted so much to hate her, but I know I could not. She must have thought she was helping a friend, helping Angelo…. Could I hate her for the damage she had stupidly caused? Taralynn’s offence was not maliciousness, but just not knowing when to stop talking.
“Tell me what you said.”