Chapter One Hundred Thirty-Four
Dani's P.O.V.
Six Months Later
The last year of planning has culminated in this day. This is it. This is what Eli and I have been waiting for. I think I've been excited, but now that the day has arrived I'm so unbelievably nervous. I'm sitting in the kitchen at Don and Connie's house with Beth, Maria and Connie. Eli, his dad, Ash and Arrow are at our house. Apparently, Eli isn't allowed to see me until the actual ceremony. This is the wedding day and I don't know if I'll be able to calm myself down before going through with this.
Maria has twisted my hair and pinned it all up with purple and white flowers tucked into it. Even I have to admit it looks pretty great. Connie places a plate of food in front of me and I eye it cautiously.
She smiles at me, "You need to eat, Dani."
"I don't think I could keep it down. My stomach is in knots."
"I know. Trust me, I know. But you need to try and eat something. You won't get another chance until later, so you need to make the most of the opportunity now. I know you're nervous, but you can do this. I promise you it will all be fine. In fact, it's going to be perfect. Now, eat as much as you can and then we can think about starting to get ready. There is a present for Scar. It's from Ash. Let me get that for you while you eat."
She's obviously not letting the whole breakfast thing go. I've learned a lot about Eli's family in the time I've known them. They are a very loving family. I've learned to love them like my own family. Tyler and I have managed to move on from our awful first meeting and we've actually been able to have quite good conversations since.
Connie is a feeder though. She thinks food solves most problems. Well, maybe not solves the problems, but she always tells us you can't think properly or fix anything on an empty stomach.
As I place a piece of fruit in my mouth, Connie appears with a little box in her hand.
"For Scar, from Ash."
Beth and Maria stop their conversation, eager to see what's in the box, so I quickly open it. I'm curious myself, to be honest.
I let out a soft chuckle when I see what it is and I say, "That is so Ash."
All three ladies glance at me inquisitively, so I don't delay any longer. I hold up a dog collar that has a SWAT dress shirt bib attached to it. Everyone laughs and coos at how cute Scar will look.
I chuckle, "He's not supposed to look cute. He's a police dog. I don't think cute is part of the dress code."
They all snort in laughter and Beth says, "I think he's allowed to look cute for one day. This is a very special day after all."
For a brief moment I had forgotten my nervousness and just lost myself in Ash's sense of humor. Beth's comment brings me back to reality. I don't blame her or anything; I know she's excited and I know that they don't know how nervous I really am. I don't expect them to know that. I want them to have a nice day as well. I want it to go as smoothly and as normally as possible. I have to try very hard to keep my thoughts and emotions in check today. I do not want to have a melt down. Those moments have been less and less over the last year and I'm definitely finding it easier to bring myself back without Eli being there. Sam has done an amazing job with my recovery. She tells me I've done most of the work, but it's been her ideas and her support that have helped me. I would never have been able to do it without Eli, however, I don't think I would have been able to do it without Sam either.
The ceremony is supposed to start at noon, so Connie feeds me some more breakfast before she instructs, "You'll need to go and get ready soon. Maria will help you with your make-up and Beth and myself will help you with your dress if you need us to."
I like that she says if I need them to. I'm not sure I want help with that. I don't want anyone seeing me in any state of undress. That is reserved for Eli only. Over the last six months, Eli has helped me to start accepting myself and the way my body is. I still hate my scars, so very much, but Eli is helping me to see that they are a part of me and they have helped to mold me into the person I am. I know I will never be able to get rid of the scars, but I am learning to accept that they're there and that I am special, no matter what I have been through.
Don't get me wrong, it hasn't been an easy road. The last six months have been a real struggle for me. I have a lot of self-doubt, self-loathing and not a lot of confidence in myself. Those haven't disappeared, but I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel as they say. I think I will always have those kind of thoughts, but I now believe I will come to a place where I can accept that.
I glance at the clock and see that it's just after 10am. I seriously don't need that long to get ready and I mention this to Connie.
She chuckles, "Oh, sweetie, you have no idea what is involved. Everything has to be perfect. We will make this day perfect for the both of you."
I don't fight her on this. She has been amazing, helping me with all of the preparations. Thankfully, she hasn't been overbearing, although I think that has something to do with Eli. Between Beth and Connie, they planned for a wedding dress viewing at my house, so I didn't even have to go dress shopping. I actually had drawn up something I had in my mind. It was very similar to my momma's dress. I remembered seeing it in the photographs back at our old house. Obviously, it's not exactly the same because I am different to my momma. I have been brave and I decided on sleeves that cover my shoulders but not the whole of my upper arms. I'm still unsure about this, but Connie and Beth both promised me that the dress is so beautiful and I look so amazing that no one will even notice the scars. Connie also told me she has a special lotion that will blend in with my skin tone, adding a glittery shimmer to my skin so that it will help to cover the ugly cicatrices. I wait to see how much difference it makes, but I will use it, especially if the lotion has any chance of covering them.
Shortly after that, Maria ushers me into the downstairs bedroom to help me with my makeup. I am better with people touching me, mostly if I know it's going to happen. If I'm aware of what is happening, then I can focus on the moment, rather than allowing the memories to plague my mind. If someone shocks me or surprizes me, I still struggle with that, but if I know what is happening then I am much better.
Maria only does light makeup, at my request. I don't want to look so different from myself.
I try to joke, "I don't want Eli to think someone else is walking towards him."
She lets out a short laugh and replies, "He'd know it's you no matter what you look like. That man is completely smitten by you."
I blush at her words. It still shocks me and makes my heart and stomach flutter to think that Eli chose me; that he loves me. I think I love him more now than I ever did. I don't know when it happened, but one day I realized that I love him so very much.
It's nearly 11:30 when Maria finishes my makeup and touching up my hair. She adds a few more flowers and finishes with a load of hairspray. I'm currently in yoga pants and one of Eli's old Ranger's t shirts, so I'm guessing I should start to get dressed any minute now.
It's as if Maria reads my mind because she squeezes my shoulder and whispers, "I'll leave you to get dressed, Dani. You are going to look so beautiful and you will be amazing out there. The day will go so quickly, I promise, so try to savor the moments."
I do something that is still so new to me and I embrace her. I softly say, "Thank you, for everything. I appreciate it more than you know."
She smiles as she releases me and steps back. "You're part of the family now. We do anything for family. I'm excited to have a new sister-in-law. Good luck."
"Thanks."
She's gone and I'm left on my own. Well, not completely on my own. Scar is sitting at my feet, wagging his tail at me. Eli jokes that Scar is my little shadow. The dog follows me everywhere, seriously. I draw the line at going into the bathroom with me, but he sits outside waiting patiently for me.
I head into the bathroom to start getting ready. I need to put the lotion on and I have to wait for it to dry before I can put my dress over it. As I'm waiting for the liquid to dry, I suddenly get extremely nervous. I don't know how I'm going to do this. I have to walk down that aisle with everyone staring at me. I'm going to have to speak in front of all of them. It all seems very real and very impossible for me.
I grab my cell and dial Eli's number from memory. I need to talk to him. I know they said I'm not allowed to see him, but no one said anything about speaking to him.
He picks up pretty much on the first ring.
"Baby?"
"Hey. I needed to hear your voice."
He lets out a deep breath, "I was just thinking about you actually. Are you ok?"
He knows me far too well. The background is very noisy but before I can speak again, the noises disappear and there's only the sound of Eli on the other end of the line.
I sigh, "I'm scared, Eli. I'm trying not to be, but I can't help it."
"I know you are, sweetheart. I'll let you in on a little secret. I'm nervous too. I'm so excited to see you but I'm also nervous at how beautiful you're going to look. I've tried to imagine it, but no one has given me any hints as to what your dress looks like."
I let out a little laugh, "You're not supposed to know, apparently."
I groans, "I know. I've been told; multiple times. I'm sure it's way better than I can imagine... I know you're scared, baby, but I promise it will all be ok. Are you having second thoughts?"
"About marrying you? No. Not at all. Just about being the center of attention. I'm not good with things like that. I'm trying, Eli, I promise."
"I know you are and I'm so very proud of you. Your parents would be so proud, trust me. You know I would never put you in a situation I think you can't handle, right?"
"Yes."
"Good. So trust me when I say you can do this. You've totally got this. Just remember that I love you and I'll be right there. Just focus on me and it'll all be fine. Ok?"
"Ok. Eli? Tell Ash I said thanks for Scar's present."
He laughs, "I will. You like it then?"
"Yeah. I think it's pretty cool."
"You going to be ok now?"
"I think so. Eli?"
"Yes sweetheart?"
"I love you."
I hear the smile in his voice when he speaks, "I love you too. I tell you, noon can't get here quick enough. Are you ready yet?"
"Not completely. I just have to put my dress on though."
He lets out a muffled groan and I hear the strain and control in his voice when he says, "That's not doing anything to help me here, baby. I can't decide which is better, the way you are now or in the dress..."
His comment sparks a flutter in my stomach, but also some nervousness. I'm not totally comfortable with comments like that, but I'm learning to accept them. I know Eli would never hurt me and he would never make me do anything I'm not comfortable with. It's taking some time to convince my subconscious to change its way of thinking. It's an automatic reaction and something I have to physically stop myself from doing.
I ask, "You don't want to see my dress?"
He chuckles, "Of course I do. I'm just trying to decide where and when I want to see it. Right now, I'd settle for just seeing you, no matter what you're wearing. I need to let you get dressed because if I don't go now, then we'll both be late. I'll see you soon, Dani. I'll be right there, ok?"
"Ok. Thank you, Eli. I'll see you soon."
After he hangs up, there's a knock on the bathroom door.
Connie's voice filters through. "Dani? Is everything ok in there? Your dress is still out here."
"I'm ok. I was waiting for the lotion to dry. I'll be out in a minute."
I don't tell her I was talking to Eli. I don't know how well that will be received. I keep my yoga pants on and walk out with my camisole on over my top half. That lotion has helped to cover the scars; Connie was right. You can tell they're there, but unless you look closely, they aren't glaringly obvious.
When I open the bathroom door, Beth and Connie are waiting further in the bedroom, but Scar is standing at the bathroom door.
Connie says, "The boys will be here soon. You need to get dressed. Do you want us to help you?"
I nod. I will take my pants off once they have left so they don't have to see my lower body. Between the two women, they instruct me to stand with my arms raised as they lower the dress over me. Once the dress is zipped up at the back, they fluff the lower part and ensure that everything is as it should be. They both stand back, staring at me. I glance at them briefly and I see tears in their eyes. I feel quite vulnerable with their stares and the raw emotion in the room. I know they mean well, but it's a little awkward for me. I miss my parents so much right now. They should have been here for this. I've had this conversation a few times with Eli and Sam on separate occasions. As Sam pointed out, if my life hadn't taken the turns that it did, I would probably never have met Eli. While this is true, every girl wants their parents at her wedding, I'm sure.
I want my poppa to walk me down the aisle and warn Eli to treat me right. I want my momma's advice and her opinion on everything. Connie and Don have been so very amazing and I would never throw their kindness and acceptance back in their face. They have pretty much tried to become my second set of parents. I know this hasn't been easy on any of us, but they really have been fantastic. Even still, it's not the same as my own parents being here.
Connie's voice is thick with emotion as she whispers, "You look so beautiful. You are an amazing woman, Dani and I am so proud to have you join our family."
Beth smiles sweetly at me, "I never imagined that the young girl in the trench coat would end up here. You are unbelievably beautiful Dani, and not just right now. You are beautiful all of the time. I can't believe the change in you and I can't believe you found me again. Thank you for letting me share this with you."
I try not to cry at their kind words and I swallow the lump in my throat before speaking.
"Thank you both, for everything. I can never express how much this all means to me; how much you all mean to me."
Connie squeezes my hand before quietly saying, "We should go get seated, before we all start crying. Will you be ok now?"
"Yes ma'am. Thank you."
"Ok. We'll see you out there. Good luck."
Beth smiles, "You can do this, Dani. We're all here to support you."
I nod, but don't trust my voice to speak any more. I take a deep breath and hold it for a few seconds. My heart is beating wildly in my chest and I think it might actually burst through my rib cage and my skin. That would make a whole load of mess, wouldn't it? Not to mention it would ruin this beautiful dress.
I try to steady myself before removing my yoga pants. I have a talk with myself to try and steady my nerves.
I whisper in Russian, "I can do this. It's no different to Sunday dinners. It's just our family and friends. Except I'm walking down an aisle in front of everyone. What am I even doing? I want to marry Eli, I do. Can't I just not be in the spotlight for it though?"
I frown and scold myself, "Stop it, Danica. This is stupid. You've known this day was coming. Sam prepared you for this. Just push everything else to the back of your mind. You're marrying Eli. You love him and he loves you. Nothing else matters, right?"
I take another deep, steadying breath, and there's a soft knock at the door.
Sam's voice filters through, "Dani? Everything ok in here?"
"You can come in."
She opens the door carefully and her jaw hits the floor when she sees me.
"Oh, wow! You look amazing. That dress is beautiful."
"Thank you."
"I just came to see how you're doing. Everything ok?"
I send her a small smile, "I think so. Just so nervous."
"You can do this. We've been preparing for this..."
I chuckle, "I just told myself that exact same thing."
She laughs, "Well then, you know you're right. You've got this. You're stronger and braver than you really know. Just wait until Eli sees you. He's about going to have a heart attack. You're certainly going to shock him; in a good way of course."
"You think so?"
"Oh, I know so. It's almost time, so I'll go get seated. It'll all be over in a flash, I'm sure. You'll look back at this in an hour or so and wonder why you were so nervous. Good luck."
She squeezes my hands and shoots me a bright smile before leaving again. I'm glad she stopped in to check on me. It shows that she cares and that she thinks I can do this too. Despite my hesitancy in going to see Sam in the first place, she has become an incredibly important part of my life. She has helped me so much since I started seeing her and I will always be grateful for that.
I bend down to put Scar's collar/bib on him. He looks at me strangely, but doesn't protest at the new addition around his neck. He is such a good dog.
As I'm waiting to leave the room, I hear my poppa's voice.
"Oh, my Svetlyak! You look so beautiful! We love you so very much and we are so proud of you. Always remember that..."
I've been hearing his voice less and less over the last year. His words are almost like he's preparing me to never hear it again.
I whisper in Russian, "Poppa? Please don't leave me. I just want to know you're still there..."
"I'll always be here, Svetlyak. I'll always be looking down on you. It's your time to flourish. Eli will take good care of you and I know you'll always be safe with him. Your momma and I, we both love you more than words can say. You can do this, I promise."
"I love you both too."
Another knock sounds at the door, breaking the moment.
I call out, "Poppa?"
But there is no answer. I take comfort in his words, but I'm sad at the thought I'll never hear his voice again. Maybe it has all been a figment of my imagination this whole time. I don't get any more time to dwell on it, because Arrow's voice calls my name.
"Come in."
His face appears in the doorway and he smiles at me.
"Are you ready?"
"As ready as I'll ever be."
"Ok. Shall we?"
"Ok. I need Scar's leash."
He holds it out to me, "I found it in the living room. I thought you'd need it. He looks handsome in his dress blues."
I chuckle, "Thank Ash for that. I think it's pretty appropriate, don't you?"
"Yes ma'am. You look beautiful, Dani."
I blush, "Thank you. You look... different..."
He chuckles and pulls at the collar of his jacket, "Yeah, I'm not used to dressing up anymore. For you and Eli, I'll make an exception though."
I smile at him, "Thank you."
"Are you ready?"
"Yes sir."
We walk silently to the double doors in the kitchen. Connie demanded that an elaborate arrangement of flowers and decorations covered the walkway between the kitchen and the garden. She said she didn't want Eli to be able to see me until it was the right time. She said it would be more dramatic that way. Personally, I don't mind when Eli sees me. The sooner the better, really. As soon as I get to see him, then maybe the nerves will settle a bit. He always knows how to calm me down.
Just as we're about to walk out into the garden, the string quartet plays a classical piece of music. It was a piece that my momma danced to many, many times and I thought it would feel like a part of her was here with me.
Arrow hooks his arm for me to take and I gently place my hand over his elbow. He sees the panic on my face, so he whispers, "We can wait a few seconds. It's no problem. Deep breaths, girlie. Deep breaths."
I take a few steadying breaths, just like he instructs.
When I first started seriously thinking about this day, I panicked at the thought of someone walking me down the aisle. Then I thought about asking Don, but floating in the back of my mind was the thought of what Arrow did for me and how close we have become. Ash wasn't an option, because Eli had already asked him to be his best man. I waited so long to choose between Don and Arrow, that Eli thought I wasn't going to have anyone walk with me. I told him that I would never make it on my own, which he frowned at. I told him of my dilemma and not being able to make a choice. Like always, he talked me through it all. I explained that I didn't know which one to choose because both of them have done so much for me.
It sounds so awful to say that I tallied up the deeds they have for me, because it wasn't like that at all. I wouldn't have been able to do that anyway; they've both done too much for me to keep a count on it. I'd eventually come to the conclusion that I'd be more comfortable with Arrow and that he would be more likely to be able to calm me down if I panicked on my way through the group of people. He's been around us quite a lot, in fact, him and Ash spend most evenings at our house now, mostly for the dinner I would guess. It's nice that they feel comfortable enough to do that and I don't mind them being there. It has been good for Eli. it has also been good for me and I see them as friends more and more each day.
I give Arrow's elbow a squeeze and whisper, "Ok. I can do this, right?"
"Of course you can. We're right here. You've got this."
I nod with purpose. I can do this. My family and friends are here and Eli is waiting for me. It won't be long now until I see him. I hold on to that thought as I take a deep breath and take my first step. Arrow walks on one side of me while Scar walks on the other side and we head to the far end of the garden.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eli's P.O.V.
I wait, rather impatiently, for Dani to walk towards me. My mom has done an amazing job decorating the house and the garden. There are white and purple flowers all over the place and the chairs have bows on the backs. There are fairy lights everywhere and candles are lit, giving off a slight vanilla fragrance.
I'm too busy looking for Dani to take in the rest of the decorations. My training has taught me to stand still and wait, but it doesn't mean it is an easy thing to do right now. I think I'd be more patient waiting for a target to shoot.
The music starts, but Dani doesn't appear. I know I have a moment of panic written on my face, because Ash smirks at me.
I mutter, "Shut up."
He chuckles, "She'll be here. Arrow's got her and there's no way that girl won't show. She loves you; you know that."
I sigh, "I know."
I don't doubt that Dani loves me. She more freely tells me this. I still worry that she's going to be too scared to actually make it down that aisle. The progress and change in Dani this last year have been remarkable. She is so very different to the girl I first met. She's so different to the woman who said she would marry me only a year ago. She is constantly evolving into a different person. We still have our setbacks and she has moments of panic, but they definitely aren't as frequent as they used to be. She's more accepting of my love, both physically and emotionally. She's also more accepting of our family's love.
As soon as I see Dani walking towards me, the breath catches in the back of my throat. When we lock eyes, I feel like the ground is slipping out from underneath me. She is absolutely breathtakingly beautiful and I can't help the goofy smile that slips across my features. This gorgeous woman has chosen to spend the rest of her life with me; despite what she has been through. I get to love her for the rest of my life. If that isn't amazing and special, then I don't know what is.
When Dani sees my smile, she returns it, but I can see the insecurity in her eyes. It doesn't go unnoticed by me that she's wearing short sleeves. I know her scars are there, but they are barely visible. I don't know what she's done, but people would hardly notice them at all.
Ash mutters, "Get your jaw off the floor, man."
One of the guys joke, "Wipe the drool off your face, LT."
There are chuckles from my team, but even that isn't enough to break my gaze from the beautiful woman who is walking towards me. I see Scar's dress blues and it makes me smile even more. That dog has been a huge part of Dani's recovery and her confidence so it's only fitting that he take part in this ceremony.
As Arrow gives Dani's arm to me, he whispers, "You did good, girlie."
She smiles softly at him and gives his hand a gentle squeeze before he sits down.
All through the ceremony I'm smiling like an idiot. I can't help myself. This moment has finally arrived and I couldn't be any happier. Dani's dress was one hundred percent worth the wait. Although, I think she's beautiful no matter what she is wearing. The thoughts running through my mind just looking at her are making it extremely difficult to focus right now. I'm usually the king of focusing, as the often guys like to remind me. I'm not so sure that applies whenever Dani is involved. She has the ability to distract me, not that I mind in the slightest.
Once all the vows are exchanged, the Army Chaplin tells me, "You may kiss your bride, Lieutenant."
I gently cup Dani's face in both of my hands and I whisper, "You are so beautiful, Mrs. Ramirez..."
She smiles and I can see the blush rising on her cheeks.
I ask in Russian, "May I kiss you now?"
She bites her lip and nods ever so slightly. I hear everyone cheer as I give Dani a quick kiss. I don't trust my self control to do anything more than that; not with the way she looks and everyone else in the room. That surely would be embarrassing for me, wouldn't it?
The Chaplin announces, "I present Mr & Mrs Elijah Ramirez."
Everyone cheers and claps for us. I feel the love in the room as if it were a tangible thing. My mom is crying, happy tears I assure you. When I can manage to take my eyes off Dani, I glance around the garden. The Cap and my team are here, as well as Arrow. Obviously Momma K, Tyler, Maria, John and Fiona are here too. Dani invited Beth and Sam and I see Dr. Stone here. He must have come with Sam. The smile on his face is wide. Maybe he didn't expect Dani's story to end like this.
The nice thing about having just our close family and friends is that everyone knows Dani well. They know to let Dani initiate physical contact or at least warn her beforehand. I don't mean to make it sound like Dani is the same as she was, because she certainly isn't. She's way better with hugs and people being closer to her. She's not so good if she's taken by surprize, but she doesn't run away or freak out if someone wants to give her a hug or shake her hand.
My mom is the first to give Dani a tight embrace.
I hear her say, "Welcome to the family, sweetie. You were amazing and you look perfect."
"Thank you. Honestly, thank you for everything."
My mom tells Dani it was her pleasure and then the guys all congregate around me to send me their good wishes. Sam and Beth are talking to Dani and I see Dani laugh at something. The sound is like music to me and the look on her face is so beautiful right now. I so want to kiss her at this moment.
Because of this, I say to the guys, "You'll have to excuse me a minute."
I walk the few paces over to Dani and she turns to look at me immediately. She smiles affectionately at me and I whisper in Russian, "I need to kiss you right now. Join me in the house?"
She shocks me by stretching up and placing a kiss on my lips. Her boldness is doing nothing to help my self control. I groan and when Dani pulls away, I continue to whisper in Russian, "Babe, that is not helping my self control..."
She sheepishly smiles and shrugs, "Sorry."
I place my hands on her waist and laugh, "You don't seem too sorry about that, sweetheart."
She doesn't say anything in response, but I see a blush creep up on her cheeks, confirming that she isn't really sorry. I have no objections to her kissing me whenever she wants though.
My mom appears and ushers us to the other side of the garden, "You need to take pictures while we arrange the tables and chairs. Go on..."
She shoos us away so we can have pictures taken together. As we're standing close, I try to take Dani's mind off the photographer and the fact that she's being watched by whispering, "I love the dress, by the way."
"Really?"
"Totally."
"I do too. I wasn't sure about the sleeves, but no one has been staring at my arms."
"I don't know what you did, but they're hardly even noticeable."
"Your mom gave me some lotion to use. It worked quite well. Is this dress better than my yoga pants and your old t-shirt?"
I purse my lips, thinking about my answer. I eventually whisper, "Honestly? I don't really care what you wear. You're beautiful no matter what. Sure, I love the dress. I'd also love that dress on our bedroom floor..."
I send her a cheeky grin and her cheeks flame with a red color as she gasps.
I shrug, "Just being honest here, baby. I love you no matter what you're wearing."
That does nothing to ease her blush but the look she gives me almost makes me blush.
"I love you too."
"Hey, you're my wife now..."
"And you're my husband. Is that weird?"
"It might take a little getting used to, but it's a good kind of weird. I'm so happy right now that I think my face might crack."
She looks at me so lovingly that I find the breath catching in the back of my throat.
She honestly replies, "Me too. I was so scared and nervous earlier, but I'm ok now."
"I'm glad. You have been amazing today, truly."
She cocks her head to the side and watches me closely, "You look very good in that uniform, Eli."
She's referring to my Ranger's Dress Uniform. That's what myself, Ash and Arrow are wearing today. I didn't want to wear a suit and it only seemed right to put this on again. I loved my time in the Rangers and I loved my regiment. It's an honor to put on the uniform for something as important as my wedding.
The photographer continues to take pictures the whole time Dani and I are talking, as well as doing posed pictures. Then we take family photos, pictures with friends and any others that the photographer asks for.
Dani then asks, "Can I have a picture with Scar please?"
I nod and pass the message on to the photographer, who is starting to take shots of the guests talking. He takes a few shots of Dani with Scar, then myself and Scar and finally the three of us together. I suppose he's a little like our baby. He has definitely been a welcome addition to our family.
By the time all of the pictures are taken, the garden has been transformed into somewhere we can have a sit down meal. My ma would never have allowed a buffet style reception. That is not even in her vocabulary. She insisted everyone have a full meal and even did most of the catering herself. I have to say, she has done a pretty awesome job.
We eat as everyone enjoys each other's company. I don't think I could have asked for the day to go any better. Dani has been an absolute star. She's had a few sticky moments, but she's held it together remarkably well.
Ash clears his throat and taps his glass to get everyone's attention. The light has faded now and the garden is lit by the candles and fairy lights. Dani looks radiant in this light and I'm actually longing for the evening to finish so we can go home and be alone.
Ash stands and says, "Well, I think it's about time for the best man's speech. I feel it is my duty to embarrass Eli because it's probably the only time I'll ever get away with it. And if you pull rank on me now, then I'm just going to ignore you. I'll even deal with the repercussions at work if necessary and then I'll remind you I had to use certain feminine products on you...."
Momma K scolds him for being so crude, but everyone laughs and then he continues.
"So, most of you probably know that I've known this guy since we were in diapers. Well, I was in diapers. He is older than me, which makes him an old man in my eyes... We go back to the beginning of time almost, but I'm not here for your sympathy... Eli has many good qualities, but I'm sure he doesn't need to be reminded of them; we certainly don't... Truthfully, he has been the best friend I could have asked for. We've been through some pretty hairy situations in our time and, as always, Eli has been the one to take command and get us through. I think he'd tell us what to do even if he was our water boy... On a serious note, I'm honored to know both of you. I'm glad Dani has become an addition to the family. This guy was whipped from the first time he saw Dani. He didn't know it, but I could see it. He's one tough guy and he's certainly determined. He was determined to become friends with Dani and that has formed into an even stronger bond. You've both been great friends and I don't know where else I would be able to get dinner every night and watch football on such an awesome TV..."
The guy is a big joker, isn't he? I don't know why I expected anything different to be honest.
"I'm not the type of guy who gets all sensitive and emotional, but I'll try to make an exception for you guys. Dani, meeting you was an unexpected blessing. You quickly became an important part of the team and an important part of my life. You are both very special people and anyone with half a brain and partial sight can see how much you love each other. I know he'll make an awesome husband to you.... Failing that, darlin', I don't want him back. I've put up with him for too many years; it's your turn now..."
Everyone laughs but I'm not sure Dani knows he's joking. I squeeze her shoulders to grab her attention and when she looks at me, I can see a small smile on her face but tears filling her eyes. They don't look like sad tears though. She turns her head towards Ash again as he finishes his speech.
"Life has thrown both of you some pretty huge curve balls but you've got through it all together. It seems like whenever the universe tries to separate you, then you find your way back to each other no matter what. What you have is truly special and I wish you both every happiness in this new venture together. Everybody, let's raise our glasses to the bride and groom. Wish them a long and happy marriage, because they both deserve it more than anyone I know..."
After everyone toasts, Ash gestures for me to take my turn. I wasn't sure I was going to do a speech, seeing as most of the way we have done things has been pretty unconventional.
I clear my throat and stand, smoothing out my jacket as I do.
"Thanks, Ash. I'm still trying to figure out if there were any compliments in most of that, but I'll assume there were because you are my best friend after all... I'd like to start by welcoming all of our guests, however, there are those we wish could be with us today but can't. I think it is only right to bring a special mention to Dani's parents who can't be here. They might be gone, but they aren't forgotten. Dani will always remember them and she speaks of them often. She is a living part of them, and I know their memory will live on... On behalf of my stunningly beautiful wife and myself, thank you all for attending our very special day. Isn't she just so beautiful? Let me continue before I get sidetracked... The last few years have been a melting pot of emotions. So much has happened and it's hard to know where to even begin. I am thankful every day that I met Dani and that she allowed me to be part of her life. We have shared so much in the last few years and I have loved having you by my side the whole time. Through everything, we've always had each other. Dani has been my home for a long time now, even in the darkest moments, she's always my first and last thought. I am truly honored she has become my wife and I can only hope she feels the same way. I will spend every day of the rest of my life making sure she knows just how amazing, beautiful and special she is. Thank you for saying yes, baby. I have to thank my wonderful parents, who raised me and who have helped us more than I can ever say or repay. I honestly don't know what I would have done without you guys. Ash, Arrow. Man, you guys have always had both of our backs and that means a lot to me and to Dani. I don't even know where to begin to explain my gratitude. If I take time to thank everyone, then we'll be here a long time. So I'll simply say, thank you all for being part of our lives and for making this day so special..."
As everyone raises their glasses, I look down on Dani. She's biting her lip and picking at her fingers. I haven't seen that nervous habit in a long time, so I sit and place my hands over her's as I whisper, "Dani? What's wrong? Why are you nervous all of a sudden?"
She whispers back in Russian, "I should say something, shouldn't I?"
I shake my head, "You don't need to, baby. No one is expecting you to..."
"But I feel like I should. Everyone is here for us; for me. I should at least thank them. Shouldn't I?"
"If you feel like you want to or should say something, then I won't stop you. You can do whatever you're comfortable with. I'm right here, no matter what."
She nods and then whispers, "I don't want to stand though."
"That's fine. I'll grab everyone's attention."
I tap my glass and then say, "Dani would like to say something to you all."
Everyone falls silent and I hear Dani take a few deep, steadying breaths. She's wringing her hands together, so I gently place my hands over her's. She's telling herself in Russian that she can do this.
I whisper, "You've got this. You're pretty amazing, I hope you know that."
She shoots a small smile at me, but I know she's nervous. As soon as she opens her mouth, I realize just how nervous she is, because she begins in Russian. When she's scared or nervous she defaults back to her native language. She quickly notices what she's done and then changes to English.
"Sorry. I'm very nervous. I go back to default Russian."
I give her hand a squeeze and she carries on, "I just want to thank everyone for being here. For helping us in whatever way you have. I can't thank Connie and Don enough. You have been amazing. Spasibo. That's Russian for thank you."
She lets out a deep breath and continues, "Captain, you have been so good to Eli and myself. Ash and Arrow, you two have helped me more than you can ever know. More than you probably should have. I truly am thankful for everything. I have to say a special thank you to Beth, all those years ago when you took me in, you didn't have to but you did it anyway. I wouldn't be here today if it weren't for your kindness and help. Sam, thank you for being such a great friend. I didn't know how to apply the meaning of the word until I met you."
Who is this woman standing in front of me? She's so amazingly different right now.
Dani turns to me, "Eli...."
She sighs and I see tears welling up in her eyes as she speaks, "I don't even know where to start. You have been so amazing. I don't even know how to put it into words and definitely not English words. I look back now and I am so thankful that you were persistent and patient. You ignored all of the signals I must have given for you to stay away and you became my friend before anything else. I didn't realize how much I needed one of those until after I met you. You have helped me far more than you can ever know and I can ever express. Thank you so much for loving me and for accepting me with all of my faults and flaws. You are such an amazing and special person."
She pauses and whispers in Russian, "I love you more than words can say."
I didn't think my smile could get any wider, but apparently it can. I'm sure I'm grinning like a the cat from Alice in Wonderland, but I don't care. This is such a special moment for Dani and for myself. She thinks I'm amazing? I'm pretty sure she's more amazing. Despite everything she has been through in her life, she has let me love her. She has accepted me and my family and she has become such a special and brave woman.
I whisper back in Russian, "I love you too, beautiful."
She blushes and then turns to face everyone again, "In Russia, they usually have a million toasts for every occasion. We obviously can't do that, but I would like to teach you a toast in Russian. Dlya sem'i i druzey. It means, for or to family and friends..."
Dani and I share a chuckle when everyone tries to say the toast back to us in Russian. They tried, that's the main thing. It's the thought that counts. Trust me, I know how hard it is to learn the language.
Things settle after that, and everyone holds their own conversations before Ash announces, "I think it's time for the bride and groom to have their first dance, don't you?"
There are cheers and Arrow laughs, "Ash and I tried to pul some strings and get John Mayer here for you guys. Unfortunately, he's touring in Japan or something so he couldn't make it. You'll have to settle for a CD instead, I'm afraid..."
I take Dani's hand and say, "I think we should oblige, don't you?"
"Ok. How did they know about John Mayer?"
"They asked me what song we should use..."
"You knew about this?"
"Not that they were trying to get John Mayer here. That's all on them. I knew about the song though. In fact, I chose it."
As the beginning sounds of 'Gravity' play, I pull Dani close to me and sway to the music. There's a softness on Dani's face and it looks like she's recalling a memory.
I ask, "What are you remembering?"
"The first time you sang this to me... You were in Quantico..."
"And you'd had a nightmare so you called me. You don't know how much I wished I was still in New York when you called that night. I'd have been at your door in an instant."
"Really? Even then?"
"Oh yeah. I'd have done anything for you, even back then."
She smiles, "Thank you. For everything."
I dip my head and give her a kiss while we sway to the music. We get lost in the music and the dancing and when we look around us, everyone else is dancing too.
Ash is dancing with Sam? That's a different turn of events. He doesn't even like her. Maybe today has changed his opinion.
I feel a tap on my shoulder, so I turn to face the person. Arrow smiles brightly at me, "Do you mind if I steal your bride for a minute?"
I glance at Dani and question, "Dani?"
She nods, "It's ok. You can ask your mom to dance."
I give Dani a quick kiss and then leave her to find my mom. As I'm dancing with my mom, I struggle to keep my eyes off Dani. She really is a beautiful sight.
My ma's laugh snaps me back to reality and I turn my attention to her.
"I'm so proud of you, Elijah. In fact, I'm so proud of both of you. Dani has done exceptionally well today, hasn't she?"
"Yes ma'am. You really did a perfect job with planning everything. Thank you. I think you should have been a wedding or party planner."
"Nonsense. I'm too nosey and I want to see inside people's houses. Why do you think I like to take the pictures and show the houses myself?"
I chuckle at her honesty, "I thought you just liked selling houses..."
"Oh, I do. But I also like to see what is inside the houses. I'm curious."
I shake my head and laugh at her. My pops cuts in and wants to dance with my mom, so I go to find Dani again. This time, the Cap is dancing with her and Dani is smiling at something the Cap is saying. My wife is stunning, especially in this light and with a smile on her face. I am a very lucky man to have her by my side for the rest of our lives. Life may not have dealt us great hands in the past, but we've found each other and we can get through anything together.
Once the evening starts winding down, I whisper to Dani, "I can't wait to get home so we can be by ourselves..."
She looks shy and slightly guilty, so I frown and question her on it.
"Don't be mad..."
I'm confused, "Why would I be mad?"
"We're not going home."
I raise my eyebrows in question, "We're not?"
"No. We're going away."
"We are?"
She lets out a little chuckle and the stretches up to wrap her arms around my neck.
She whispers, "Arrow and Ash helped me to plan it. They thought we deserved it, after... everything..."
I nod and whisper back, "Ok."
"Ok?"
I smile, "What else am I supposed to say? You planned it, so I'm going with it."
She looks surprized, "You're not going to ask me a million questions about where it is, what we're doing or if it's safe?"
I let out a puff of air. She knows me well. Those thoughts are running through my mind but I wasn't going to ask them.
Instead, I simply say, "I trust you, Ash and Arrow. I know they would never put us in danger and I know you wouldn't be happy to do this if you didn't think it was ok. I trust you guys. Doesn't mean I'm not thinking it, but I do trust you."
She smiles softly, "Thank you... and for the record, it's as safe as it can be. You'll see when we get there."
We eventually say goodbye to all of our guests; thanking them all for attending and making it a special day. It's nearly 1am when Arrow packs us into his truck. I have to lift Dani onto the seat, because her dress isn't really allowing her to move enough to get in herself. She was going to change before leaving, but I insisted she kept it on. I want to be the one to remove it for her. She blushed furiously at my comment.
We drive for a few hours and then we pull up outside a beautiful beach house in the Hamptons.
Dani eyes me closely and asks, "Is this ok?"
"Ok? Are you kidding? It's great! How did you manage this?"
"Arrow did it."
"Seriously, man?"
Arrow chuckles, "Yeah. It's no big deal. I do a lot of private security and surveillance for the guy that owns this place. He's hardly ever in it so I asked if you guys could use it for your honeymoon. He was more than happy to oblige."
I pat him on the shoulder, "Thanks man. I appreciate it."
"You're welcome. I'll let you in and show you how to disarm and set the alarm. After that, I'll be out of your way."
The house is huge and tastefully designed. Arrow informs us that it has it's own private beach so we don't need to worry about being watched or disturbed. Sounds pretty perfect to me. Once he shows us where everything is and how to sort out the alarm, he leaves wishing us a happy honeymoon.
"This is pretty perfect, baby. I didn't know a thing about it."
"That was the plan. I wanted to do something special for you."
"This whole day has been pretty special..."
She whispers, "I need to get out of this dress before it gets ruined..."
I chuckle and wink at her, "I can help with that..."
I take her hand and lead her to the bedroom. She stands at the foot of the bed, watching me closely.
"Eli?"
"Yes baby?"
"I love you, you know that, right?"
"I certainly do, Mrs. Ramirez. That's never going to get old."
She chuckles, "Not even when we're old, wrinkly and grey Mr. Ramirez?"
"Definitely not. I'll never get tired of calling you my wife."
She smiles sweetly at me, then turns her back to me and asks, "Can you unzip me please?"
I groan, "I've waited all day to hear that and to actually be able to do that. Do you know how much of a struggle it was? I had to use every ounce of my self control..."
She actually laughs at that, so I tickle along he spine as I unzip her dress.
"You think that's funny, Mrs Ramirez?"
She shrugs, so I kiss along her neck and shoulders before she manages to answer, "I'm just happy, I guess... I still find it hard to believe that you could think about me that way..."
I speak with my lips against her shoulder, "Oh, trust me, you have no idea. I can show you exactly what I was thinking..."
She turns and places a kiss on my lips, which is the spark that ignites the fire. We fall into each other and don't start to drift off to sleep until the sun is starting to peek over the shoreline. We spend those hours loving each other and reinforcing our trust and our bond with each other. It was a perfect end to a perfect day.
Author's Note:
The chapter that you all have been waiting for? Did I do it justice? Did I give Dani and Eli the perfect chapter? Let me know. Just one more chapter and then it's all over :( I am sad about it, but I think it's their time. The pictures are the closest I could get to how I imagined Eli and Dani's clothes to look.