I saw him. Just fudge.
I mean, I can see him from where I am standing.
I don't know why I am still watching.
Maybe because I'm a masochist.
I'm so stupid.
Why do I keep on thinking about him?
When in fact, he's there being happy with another girl. A very pretty girl. She's taller than me. She looks sexier than me. She has fairer skin than me. So, he got another girl?
I gasped. Maybe she's the reason why he can't love me back?
Who is she? Fudge. I'm desperate to know who is she! Why is she talking to him?
Why can he smile and I can't? Why can he talk to other girls when I can't talk to other boys because I'm afraid he'll get mad? Because I'm afraid to lose him.
Oh my. My eyes grew wider as he hugs the girl.
Fudge. Crush, don't cry. You can't cry. There's no way you'll cry while he's there hugging another girl.
I turned my back on them. It hurts to see him doing that. I know, I'm his girlfriend and I shouldn't be acting like this because he's already mine. But you can't blame me. He doesn't love me, I don't have any assurance that he won't leave me.
Why is everything so complicated? I used to be happy just by seeing them win in M! Countdown, Music Core and Inkigayo before, but why is this happening?
---
The next morning I woke up, I hurriedly checked my phone. There's still no texts. He forgot about me. Yeah, maybe he already has another girl.
What can we expect? He's a super star, he's handsome, he's hot and everything. He can get another me in a minute. I'm not that special. Remember? I'm just another wide eyed girl in the crowd and there are hundred thousands of girls just like me.
I don't know how I was able to sleep. I was crying my heart out last night. And my foot? I think it's injured just like my heart.
I stood up and slowly walked my way to the bathroom. There I did my morning rituals.
"What's wrong with your foot?" Auntie asked as I sit next to her.
"I don't know either, Auntie. Don't worry, I'm fine."
It's our first time talking since the other day. Because in the morning, she has to leave early and by that time I'm still sleeping. At night, I'll be home late and when I get home she's sleeping already. We just met today because I woke up very early. I wasn't able to get enough sleep since Tao and I talked.
"Your eyes are so puffy, you fought?" She said as she takes a bite of her bread.
"Just a little." We almost broke up.
"Just remember that you shouldn't let go of something you've worked hard for, but if it's already too much maybe it's the time to finally let go." She stood up and grabbed her bag. "I'm leaving."
--
"I saw Tao Oppa yesterday. He's with Kirstin!" I heard my co-trainee said.
"Oh my gosh! The new hottest Korean model?"
"Yes! I even saw them hug! Omo, they look so good together!"
"We're TaoTin shippers!"
"Kyaaaah~"
It's still early that's why they still have time fangirling. And I'm telling you, I'm not happy with what they're talking about.
Kirstin? So she's the girl yesterday. New hottest Korean model. I smiled bitterly.
No. I'm not letting him go.
After few minutes, our co-trainees started to arrive one by one. Right after Cindy Eoni arrived, our trainer entered too.
"Okay, is everyone here?" He looked at everyone and he seemed satisfied. "Alright, let's start."
He started to teach us harder and more complicated steps. I feel sorry for my foot. Ugh. I'm doing every step slowly so my foot won't be forced.
"From the top everyone! 5, 6, 7, 8!" He stated.
"Argh!" I fell again.
Everyone stopped. "What happened, Crushelle?" Our trainer asked.
"Nothing, sir." I tried my best to stand up but I ended up falling again.
Oh my. I think it's totally injured. I'm so stupid! If I wasn't careless this won't happen.
Our trainer walked towards me and checked my foot. I heard him 'tsk'ed. He touched my foot that made me scream in pain. Fudge. My co-trainees are just watching me, they're concerned I know it. Cindy Eoni is here beside me.
"When did it start to hurt?" Our trainer asked.
"Yesterday, sir."
"Why didn't you tell me?" He sounds mad.
"Sorry, sir. I just don't want to stop training."
He looked around. "MinHyuk." He called my co-trainee. "Bring her to the hospital. She can't walk so you have to carry her."
MinHyuk smiled. This guy is one of my handsome co-trainees.
"Sir, I can walk--" Before I can finish speaking our trainer cut me in.
"If you're going to force yourself walk, your injury might get worse. Don't worry, I won't let you fall." MinHyuk said.
He offered his back and Cindy Eoni helped me. Ya~ Piggy backride. It feels good to have a lot of people who cares about you.
"Take care of her, MinHyuk-ssi." Cindy Eoni said.
MinHyuk just nodded then we went out of the training room.
"Am I heavy? Do you want to put me down?" I asked.
I don't want to be a burden to anyone. Ugh. Looks like I won't be dancing for a few days.
I heard him chuckle. "You're not heavy, you're actually light. Tell me, are you really eating?"
"Of course, I have to be healthy." No, I'm not.
"You know what? Why don't we eat later? After going to the hospital." He offered.
I hit his back and laughed, "Are you asking me on a date?"
"Ya~ I'm just inviting you for some snacks, don't be assuming." He said smiling.
We're about to leave the building when Tao entered. Fudge.
"Annyeong haseyo." MinHyuk and I greeted.
Act normal Crush. Just act normal. After that we left the building then MinHyuk hailed a cab.
--
"Your ankle is a little injured. Good thing, it didn't break. So, you're not allowed to use your right foot too much for a week." The doctor said.
"I am a trainee of SM, sir. Does that mean I am not allowed to dance?" I asked.
"Yes, you're strictly not allowed to dance or else it'll lead to serious matters. Into the point that your bones will break. You have to come back after three days, so we can remove the bandage."
"Kamsahamnida."
I went out, and MinHyuk stood up to help me with my crutches. Yes, I have crutches and it's very hard to use it. Uhh. Mom would be pissed once she finds out.
"What did the doctor say?" He asked.
I sighed. "I'm not allowed to dance for a week. Argh. I hate it."
"You'll be fine soon. Trust me. So do you want to eat?" He said.
I smiled at him, "Thanks for the offer but I would like to go home and rest."
"Well, at least let me take you ho--"
"No, I'm fine. I'll just ride a cab. You should go back and train." I said. He nodded and assisted me until I rode a cab. Aww. Such a caring chingu.
When I got home my phone vibrated, sign that someone texted.
I was shocked when I saw it.
[From: Tao Oppa
You wanted space because you liked someone new. Can't you wait 'til the time that I'll love you? Maybe we're not going to work out.]