ANAIS
I couldn't believe I was holding him in my arms now. The emotions I felt right now doesn't even come close to what I'd expected I'd feel. This tiny baby came out of me. I carried him in my womb for nine months. He was mine and Coco's.
He made small, gentle movements with his hands and feet which were restricted due to the light blue blanket wrapped around him. Kanina lang ang himbing ng tulog niya. The baby's face scrunched up and suddenly he started making a quiet cooing sound.
"Niccolo... bakit nakasimangot ang baby namin?" Coco pressed a gentle kiss on our baby's cheek.
"Hey, stop kissing the baby. Baka magka-rashes ang apo ko." Saway ni Dad. Coco drew back like a dog that got smacked with a newspaper.
"Dad, naman. Niccolo is his son, too." I rolled my eyes.
"And what kind of name is Niccolo? Couldn't you think of a better one?" He shook his head in disapproval. "Hindi pa naman na finalized ang birth certificate. Pwede pa natin baguhin ang pangalan niya."
I'd written Niccolo Xavier Lavigne on his birth certificate. I wanted to write Cordova as his last name but I knew Dad would lose it. Saka hindi naman kami kasal ni Coco at nakalagay naman sa birth certificate niya na si Coco ang ama niya.
"Yeah, take away the Xavier and it'll sound even better." Tito Phoenix said. He and Tita Cassie sat on the opposite side of the bed where Mom and Dad stood. Pinaglayo talaga sila ni Mom at ni Tita Cassie, they couldn't stand next to each other without either of them starting a fight.
"Ano bang problema mo, ha?" Dad's jaw clenched.
"Ikaw? Ano'ng problema mo? Kanina mo pa pinag-iinitan ang anak ko." Tito Phoenix's eyes narrowed at him.
"Your son and that stupid name is my problem." Dad answered without flinching.
Niccolo let out a loud cry. I rocked him in my arms and still he wouldn't stop crying.
"Nakita niyo ginawa niyo! You made Niccolo cry!" Mom looked at the two of them with a deep frown on her face.
"Hindi ba kayo nahihiya sa mga pinagagawa niyo? May apo na kayo, para pa rin kayong mga bata!" Tita Cassie shook her head.
"He started it." Tito Phoenix said.
"I mean, come on. Why would you name your child Niccolo, Anais?" Dad asked.
"Dad, kami ni Bryce ang nag-isip ng name para sa baby. Walang kinalaman si Coco sa desisyon ko." I sighed as I continued to rock Niccolo. "He is my son and I want to name him Niccolo Xavier. Nothing you say will ever change my mind."
"You hear that, you asshole." Tito Phoenix smirked.
"Nick, ano ba? Tumigil ka na sabi!" Tita Cassie threw him a sharp glare. "One more word and you'll be sleeping in the guest room tonight. Umiiyak na nga yung bata, wala pa rin kayong ginawa kung hindi magsabong."
"What are we going to do? He won't stop crying..." I could hear the slight panic in Coco's voice.
"Baka naman puno na ang diapers. Let me check." Tita Cassie unwrapped his blue blanket and checked his diaper. "It's still dry."
"Or maybe he's hungry." Mom brought her hand in front of Niccolos face. He wrapped his tiny fingers around one of her and tried to bring it to his mouth. "Oh he is hungry. Poor baby."
"We didn't bring any milk..." I quietly said.
Mom smiled. "We don't have to. It's better to breastfeed the baby. I don't want to put him on formula. Masyado pa siyang baby, he needs nutrients from you."
"Breast? Feed?" My eyes widened and then I looked down at my chest. I'd heard about breastfeeding and it was even taught to us in parenting class. I thought women only breastfeed when there's no formula milk or when they can't afford to buy one. "I'm going to feed him from my boobs?"
"Yes, Anais. It's not called breastfeeding for nothing. Kawawa naman ang baby Niccolo namin." Mom cooed at him. "Gutom na ang baby."
"It's not as scary as it sounds, Anais. Give it a try." Tita Cassie encouraged.
"But Dad and Tito Phoenix is here..." I bit my bottom lip.
"They'll get out. Right, boys?" Mom arched her brow to Dad and Tito Phoenix, mockingly emphasizing the word 'boys'.
"Okay." They said.
"Hey, punk! You can't stay in here!" Dad eyed Coco angrily. "Lalabas ka din!"
"But he's my son! I've even seen her give birth..." He looked at Dad, confused.
"I do not fucking care. You will leave the room with us." He firmly said. "Do you want me to drag you out of here by your neck?"
"Leave my son alone! Wala naman siyang ginagawa sa'yo! You always pick on Coco!" Tito Phoenix snarled at him.
"Just go, Coco. The baby's hungry..." Tita Cassie said.
Coco let out a sigh of defeat and walked out of the room with Dad and Tito Phoenix.
"They're going to fight." Mom rolled her eyes as soon
"Mas magugulat ako kapag hindi nag-away yang dalawang yan." Tita shook her head.
Tita helped me lower my hospital gown and it revealed my one of my breast. I pulled crying Niccolo to me and brought his tiny mouth to my nipple and he instinctively latched on me. I watched in awe as he sucked on my breast. It was a whole different feeling. I could feel our oneness. He was a part of me and I would love him with everything I had. I always would until my- I suddenly felt pain after a few moment. Like the flesh in my chest were stiff and sore.
"Mom, it hurts!" I complained.
"What hurts?" She asked.
"This!" I exclaimed.
The baby stopped sucking and began to cry again, this time he cried even louder.
"Aw our poor Niccolo. Bakit umiiyak ka? What do you want?" Tita Cassie rubbed his tiny chin with her finger.
"Wala siguro siyang madede. Your milk duct is probably clogged that's why it hurts." Mom shook his head.
"What do I do?" I asked worried. I was almost in tears, hearing my baby cry his hear out. "Paano makakadede si Niccolo? He's probably starving!"
"I'm sorry honey. I don't know. I never had that problem." Tita looked like she felt sorry for me.
"Madalas mangyari sa akin yan noong baby ka pa and even when I was breastfeeding Bryce." Mom comfortingly brushed her fingers through my hair. "I call your Dad for help when that happens."
"Then call Dad!" I whined.
"You don't want your Dad to suckle on you." Mom laughed a little.
"Ew! No! Of course not!" I made a face.
"Well, we can get Coco to help you." Tita Cassie suggested.
COCO
"Will you stop being immature?" Dad looked like he was ready to charge at Tito Axel. "Kanina pa ako nagpipigil sa'yo dahil nandoon ang apo ko sa loob!"
"Dad, calm down." I gently pushed him back to his side. "It's fine."
"It's not fine. I can't just watch this asshole bully you!" He said. "Ang tanda mo, Lavigne! Malapit ka na ibaon sa hukay, ganyan pa rin ang ugali mo! You are still the same bully you were in college!"
"At ikaw, kunsitidor kang ama. Sabagay pareho lang naman kayo ng anak mo. You two are child predators. You target on innocent young girls because you can't get a mature pussy to fuck. You and your son should be castrated!"
"Oh wow! Rich coming from a man who basically fucked four in every two girls in the whole city. You should be castrated and fed your own dick." Dad retorded.
"Dad, stop..." Pigil ko sa kanya.
Bumukas ang pinto sa kwarto ni Anais. Tita Valerie came out of the room and walked up to me. "Coco darling, can you inside with me? We need your help." She sweetly asked.
"With what?" Tito Axel's brows furrowed. "Is my baby girl okay?"
"Anais is fine. Hindi lang makadede yung baby. Her milk duct is clogged." Tita said.
Tito Axel suddenly stepped in between me and Tita. He gave Tita Val a knowing look. "What do you need him for?"
"You know what I need him for." Tita Val said and walked passed him. She grabbed me by my wrist.
"Wait, wait! Hold on!" Tito Axel harshly pulled my arm away from Tita Valerie. "Nope! Hindi pwede, Valerie. Hindi ako papayag! There is no way I'm going to let this punk suck my little girl's tits!"
What? Did I hear that right?
"Your daughter is in pain and the baby is hungry." Tita Valere glared at him.
"I don't care!" Tito Axel said.
"Who's going to do it then? YOU?!" She put her hand on her hips.
"NO!" He shook his head, disgust written on his face. "Nobody. Nobody's going to suck my Anais' breasts except the baby, you understand? I can't believe you even considered this! You're practically pimping my daughter!"
"Stop overreacting. Your grandchild needs his milk! Come on, Coco!" Tita Valerie rolled her eyes.
"Nope." Humarang siya sa harap ko ng subukan lumapit sa akin ni Tita.
"Atticus, do you want Niccolo to starve?"
"Of course I don't... but there must be some other way..." He mellowed down a little.
"The baby needs his milk now. I'm sure Coco did more than sucking-"
"No, you don't say that, Val! Never!" This was the first time I'd hear him raise his voice on Tita Val.
"Please, Axel! Huwag mo akong daanin sa ganyan. Your daughter didn't give birth a virgin." She shook her head and then turned her head to me. "Come on, Coco. Your son is starving."
"Valerieee!" He muttered like a kid.
Tita Val pulled me inside the room. Mama was rocking my crying son in her arms while Anais was in her hospital bed. I was still confused to what I was supposed to do.
"What am I going to do, Tita?" I asked.
"Just help Niccolo a little. Clogged a milk duct ni Anais and the baby can't suck hard enough." She said.
"So you want me to..." I trailed off and blinked.
"It's for your son." She patted my arm.
I looked at Anais. She bit her bottom lip as she slid her hospital gown down her shoulders, revealing her full breast.
I walked to her bed and sat on the edge of her it. I bent my head down and took her breast in my mouth then I suckled on it. She clutched my hair and groaned as if in pain.
"It hurts..." She whispered.
I felt a gush of warm milk fill my mouth. It tasted weird at first but it was sweet. I swallowed her milk and the I pulled away.
"There. Better?" I gently asked.
"Yeah, it's not as painful now..." She said.
Tita Val handed her a baby wipe and she wiped off her breast with milk trickling down from it. Ma handed Niccolo to her and the baby quickly attached his mouth to Anais breast. He sucked like there was no tomorrow, he must be really hungry.
I watched in amusement and felt overwhelming pride and bewildered love. This was our son. Anais and I made this kid. I know I could never see or feel anything purer than this. From the baby, Anais lifted her gaze to me and then she smiled a gentle smile. I kissed her on the forehead and pulled away to look at her.
"He's got a healthy appetite." I said in low laughter.
"Kanina pa kasi siya nagugutom." Anais pouted.
"Poor Niccolo." I brushed my fingers on his bright red cheek.
ANAIS
"Good night, baby Xavier." Dad cooed and then he kissed his Niccolo on the cheek. He stubbornly refused to call him Niccolo, he preferred the name Xavier.
"Good night, Grandpa." I answered for my baby in a tiny voice.
"Are you sure you'll be okay with the baby?" Asked Mom. This was the first night he'd be sleeping in room after getting out of the hospital. The nursery wasn't really ready yet and I wanted him next to me.
"Yeah, Mom. Don't worry, we'll be fine." I smiled.
"Kung gusto mo itabi muna namin siya ng Mommy mo para makapagpahinga ka." Dad said.
"I can handle this." I assured them.
"Basta Anais, nakaready na ang mga damit, diapers at lahat ng kailangan ni Niccolo dito." Mom pointed at the bag on top of my bedside table. "Saka palagi mong tignan ang baby, baka mamaya mapahinbing ang tulog mo hindi mo alam nasa sahig na pala si Niccolo."
"Yes, Ma." I said.
"Good night, honey." Dad gave me a kiss on the forehead. "If you need any help, tawagin mo lang kami ng Mommy mo."
I nodded my head. "Thanks, Mom and Dad."
"Good night, sweety." Mom bent down to give me a kiss too and them she kissed ny son goodnight. "Be a good boy, baby. Don't give your Mommy a hard time."
They were about to leave when Bryce barged into my room and jumped into my bed. Mom and Dad panicked.
"Bryce, be careful!" Dad scolded. "Baka madaganan ang baby."
"I just want to say goodnight to Niccolo."
"Xavier, honey." Dad corrected.
Her head lowered to the baby to give him a closer look. "He is so small..."
"He's the one your singing to in my tummy." Sabi ko sa kanya.
"Did you poop him out?" She asked.
"Ew! You're gross! I did not poop him out!" I exclaimed.
"Then how did he get out?"
"Stop asking questions. Say goodnight to Xavier now honey. Pagpahingahin mo na ang Ate mo at si baby." Dad said.
She lowered her head to give him a kiss.
"Not on the lips. Sa cheek lang. Hindi pa vaccinated si baby." Paalala bi Dad.
"Goodnight, Xavier. I love you and I promise I'll be the best Aunt ever!" She sweetly said.
"Anais darling, dmaglagay ka ng pillow sa parehong side ni Niccolo. Baka gumulong siya habang natutulog ka." Mom reminded.
"Yes, Mom." I said.
The three finally got out of my room and for the first time, I had my son to myself. I stared at the little bundle of love sleeping next to me. He was beautiful. Hanggang ngayon para pa rin akong nanaginip. It still hadn't fully sink into me that I was a Mom now. I lowered my head and buried my nose into his neck. I loved sniff-kissing him, he smell so good.
I heard a small tap on my window. I got up from bed and opened it. Coco carefully slid into my room. He held me by my waist and pressed a soft kiss on my lips. The he looked at the baby sleeping in my bed.
"Tulog na si Niccolo." I said.
"Sayang, di ko man lang naabutan na gising." He said.
Just then, the baby let out a soft cry. We both hurried to bed to tend to him.
"Ano'ng gusto ng baby ko? Bakit umiiyak ang baby Niccolo namin?" Coco asked in a baby-friendly voice.
Humina ang iyak ng baby at lumabi ito. Coco and I giggled like children at the baby's reaction.
"Narinig niya yata ang boses mo." I smiled. "He missed his Daddy."
"Daddy missed you too." He held his tiny feet and kissed them. Then Coco turned his head to me. "Can I carry him?"
"Oo naman. You don't even have to ask permission. He is yours as much as his mine." I said.
"Can you help me?" He asked.
I nodded my head and lifted Niccolo from bed. I gently placed our son in his arm and he rocked him. Our baby made small happy sound and I quietly chuckled at the cuteness. A soft and fragile baby in his father's strong arms. I could watch them all night.
"This is amazing, Anais!" He looked so amused and he couldn't take his gaze away from the tiny baby. It was the first time he carried our son. "Ang gwapo naman ng baby natin."
"Oooo..." The baby answered.
"You're a handsome little man, aren't you?" He cooed.
"Syempre, baby natin yan eh." I rested my chin on his shoulder and looked over the baby. "He has your hair and your lips."
"He does." He agreed with a hint of pride in his voice. Hinalikan niya ako sa noo. "Thank you, Anais. Thank you for giving me something I never knew I wanted."