I felt like a Barbie doll, there wasn't really any other way to describe it. My hair was set in a way I never would have willingly put it, my clothes weren't even from my closet, and Kale was making me do weird things with how I was talking and moving.
On Saturday he'd dedicated the entire day to my new makeover. And on Sunday, was my lesson on 'Becoming an Irresistible Badass: 101'. It turned out I already knew most of what was being said – the fake kisses, the standing my ground, and the playing hard to get.
The only thing I needed to work on was keeping my cool, because lately, I had a hard time controlling myself whenever I heard the name—
"—Jesse. Okay? You have to act like nothing happened."
I rubbed my hands together, annoyed to find that they were getting sweaty. "I get it Kale, just let me go. The sooner we get over this, the better."
"Hey," he said. I earned a frown when I inclined my head backwards when he reached for my chin. "Don't let him get to you."
"Too late," I muttered, pushing passed his tall frame. I didn't get far when I felt his hand on my elbow. I turned back to him, shooting him a look that instantly made him release his hold.
"If everything doesn't turn out the way it should be...you still have me, Carson."
Oh, the joy.
He'd given me that same line the one time I told him I never really liked Jesse that much to begin with. And of course, he'd responded with, 'You liked him enough to get hurt'.
I nodded once at him and walked off without a response. Afterwards, with a peculiar hint of déjà-vu, I turned back around and made my way to where Jesse's locker was, knowing damn well Kale neglected to tell me what to say when I saw him.
What could I say?
Hey, so I'm going to be acting like I always do, but this time around I'm going to give into you, but have this master plan set up behind your back with a guy who hates you. But don't fret it, I'll hate you the whole time while I'm pretending to like you. It'll work out for the both of us, you'll see.
Nonsense.
"Not again." I stopped at the sound of the voice, turning around slowly to see it's owner. "We've been over this, Carson."
If there was a record timing for how fast someone could get nervous, I was pretty sure I just broke it. At the sight of him, goose bumps ran across my skin, my body started to shake slightly, and my eyes actually got watery.
And he was fine. Standing there with his blue eyes scanning over me, his arms crossed across his chest, and his hair disheveled by the hands of the raging winds outside. And the way he looked, so normal – as if nothing happened – brought me out of my sorry state, and gave me enough courage to raise my head and raise a hand to my hip while the other dangled limply to my side.
"We have," I answered. "But...I don't know, I kind of liked how I looked in a way. I'm still the same person, just upgraded clothes."
"Oh," he let out. Then something sparked in his eyes and he started making his way towards where I was standing. I jumped out of his way, scared of what I might do to him if he dared touch me.
He smiled at my reaction time, opened his locker that I had been standing in front of, and tossed everything inside. And when I said everything, I meant, everything. I wondered if he was going to ditch class to go looking for Farrah, since he didn't even have a pencil in his hand.
But that thought instantly faded the instant Jesse turned to face me and ripped my stuff from my hands.
"Hey!" I jumped forward. "Give that back! What are you doing?"
He tossed my stuff inside his locker also, and shut it before I could shove him out of the way and take it back. When he moved away, I tried to pull at the lock as if I had enough strength to open it. When Jesse laughed, I froze, hating the sound.
"Come on." I turned to glare at him as he spoke. "I'm not opening it until we come back."
"Come back from what? The moon?"
"No, smart one. The movies."
I scowled. "Open the locker, Jesse."
He shook his head. "No, Carson."
"Open the locker, Jesse!"
"No, Carson!"
I was about to scream for the school securities before I thought over my actions. I wasn't supposed to be fighting him anymore. Kale would have smacked me the instant he saw me refuse. In defeat, I relaxed my slumped shoulders, sighed, and met Jesse's eyes. "What movie?"
"Doesn't matter. Just one without violence..."
"Good choice." I walked passed him, hitting his shoulder with mine as I did. At the double doors leading to the parking lot, I turned back to face him, to see he was still standing where he was before. "Well, are you going to move, or do you want me to drag you?"
He raised his eyebrows, but didn't refuse.
When I drifted off to my car and Jesse to his, we got into a debate on which car we would use, but he eventually won. And since it was still before school, we escaped school grounds pretty easily. It was just the sight of the school in the rearview mirror that made me nervous.
But it faded as soon as Jesse and I started arguing on which radio station we would listen to.
We eventually settled with a station that only broadcasted songs my dad and Darren knew. Throughout the whole ride though, Jesse tossed around comments on the bands he most preferred. He knew none of the ones I liked, and I knew none of the ones he liked. And then we argued for a bit when I shot down a singer he thought was 'awesome'.
All of the talking stopped when we arrived at the theater though. Considering it was a nine in the morning on a Monday, I had to hand it to them – the theater was pretty packed. And to make matters strange, the majority of its occupants were teenagers or what looked to be college students. My first guess was that a movie just came out, and everyone was ditching class to see it.
Jesse looked depressed while we walked into a "chick-flick" and he had to watch everyone else go into the theater with loud noises and occasional bangs. I kind of wanted to go too, but I let it go. I wasn't here to have a good time, I was here under strict orders to make it look like I was enjoying myself – when in reality, I wanted to chuck the soda Jesse had gotten us in his face.
I played with the two straws I'd gotten while the previews began. Pushing one lower into the soda and pulling the other higher, instructing Jesse with a playful glare that if he touched the short one, he'd regret it.
When the movie started though, I started to feel the effects of claustrophobia.
The only people besides Jesse and I who weren't on a date were passed out during the middle of the movie, and the rest of the couples held hands and constantly leaned over and kissed each other when a romantic scene came on.
Finally, when enough was enough, Jesse scratched the back of his head and turned to me. "You wanna sneak into the other one?"
I didn't answer, but grabbed my soda and all but ran out.
When the action movie ended and we exited through the back of the building, I tossed my empty cup into a trashcan and turned to Jesse. "There? Are you done with your wild adventure? I'd like to graduate someday, and I can't do that when an idiot forces me into skipping class."
"Idiot," he murmured to himself, twirling his keys in his hand. "That's a little sassy of you."
"Come on, let's just go."
"How often are we here? Let's go to the mall."
"And do what?"
"I don't know. Hustle the cashiers into helping us try on clothes and then say we don't have money to buy it...?"
"That's stupid, let's just go back to school." I jumped forward to snatch the keys out of his hand, but he moved them back, causing me to stumble forward until I was in his face.
He smiled when I didn't move, and leaned toward me, more closer than he already was. But he stopped a centimeter away from my lips when I didn't move away. It was like he expected me to push him back, but I didn't because that was something Kale told me to stop doing.
I was thankful when Jesse took a step back. But, I was more than pissed off when he shoved his keys in his pocket and walked to the front of the building. I considered going to the car and just lying on the hood until he was done with his adventure, but Kale's mental chastisement advised me not to, and I followed Jesse with slow, sluggish steps.
*
:Kale:
"It was a good party, but it was all a waste," Farah said, taking a bite out of her chocolate bar.
"What do you mean?"
She rolled her eyes. "He was passed out by the time we got to his room! Shows how interesting and hot I am."
"So nothing happened?"
"No. I told you – I told you, we gave him too much. But you just threw the entire drug—"
"Hey!" I jumped forward and threw a hand overher mouth. "You can't just say that in places like this. Someone might know him, and go running off to snitch."
"Oh, like they'll tell either of them now."
I was getting annoyed about now. "What are you talking about?"
"They left – Jesse and Carson ditched class to be together. You should give that Carson girl a lot more credit, she has Jesse wrapped around her finger."
"That's the point."
"It just sucks you had to lie to her." She ruffled her hair. "You made Jesse look bad in front of Carson by drugging him. You're diabolical, you know that?"
I was about to tell her to shut up, but something snapped from beneath us, under the bleachers we were sitting on, and I glanced down trying to see what it was. It was too loud to be a squirrel, and I immediately jumped up from my seat and looked around for any other form of life besides the gym class on the field.
Then, Farah jumped up too, and pointed to the person running off into the school's building.
But the person made the fatal mistake of glancing behind to see us, and I immediately recognized her.
"Isn't that...?"
"Yeah." I started to jog down the bleachers, following her. "It's Katrina."
*
:Carson:
We had gotten ice-cream and stopped at a bridge overlooking a flowing river. I didn't know about Jesse, but the whole scenario kind of freaked me out.
"So while you're here and fully capable of hearing me..." Jesse looked over to me. "What's the real reason you changed your clothes?"
I gawked. "Oh, so there has to be a reason?"
"With you? There always is."
"You really want to know?" I was now glaring out to the water, fearing for the life of my ice-cream that I'd crush it. When Jesse stayed silent I took it as a sign to continue. "I was at your party."
He didn't react, like it was no big deal. It drove me crazy.
"And I was with this one guy, and he told me that...if I dressed more like this, I'd have way more attention." Little did he know that 'one guy' was Kale.
"And you believed him?" Jesse shot an accusing stare my way, then turned back to the water and leaned against the railing. "Well, I happen to think you looked better the way you were dressed before."
Me too, I agreed.
"So where were you at the party? I didn't see you around." I was picking on him now, trying to make him remember and admit what happened. If he was going to go soft and tell me I looked better before the makeover, then he was going to admit what he did before I thanked him for it.
"Oh, yeah, I was with this one girl." I turned to him completely, not caring if I looked like I knew something. "I think we were drinking."
I nodded for him to continue, leaning forward without meaning to.
"But nothing happened, I remember fighting her off before she could even kiss me."
And I fell backwards, onto the heels of my feet, turning back to the river. He was lying. I saw her kiss him, I saw as she grabbed his hand and led him to the dark hallway. I saw him give in to her, not fight her off.
Shaking my head slightly, I backed up and tossed the remains of my ice-cream into the bin loudly, then I started to walk to Jesse's car.
"Where are you going?"
I turned back to look at him. "I want to go school now."
"Oh, come on, Carson. We still haven't gone to the park—"
"I don't want to go. I want to go to school."
"But Carson—"
"Damn it, Jesse, now!"
The fact that he didn't appear baffled at all by the volume of my voice ticked me off, so much so, that I wanted to flick my hand and toss his ice-cream at him. But I let the thought go as soon as it formed in my head.
"Okay," he said in a calm tone. "Let's go."
But then Kale came to mind, and as Jesse began to pass me, my hand automatically reached behind me and grabbed his. It happened so suddenly that even Jesse jumped back at the movement. I couldn't help but let out a tired, "Sorry..."
There was a first. I was saying sorry to him. What the hell was happening to me?
"It's fine, Carson. I shouldn't have brought you here anyway, you're right. We should be in class."
"No...let's just stay. We're probably too late anyway."
That caught him by surprise, which made him pay more attention to my face than my hand on his. "You're sure?"
"Yeah," I said quickly, before I could change my mind. I pulled my hand away, but he reached forward and grabbed it again.
"Then let's go." He smiled, the sun behind us glinting in his eyes as he did. It was only then did I realize he was so close, close enough to smell the riveting effects of the peppermint gum we had gotten earlier. I had shifted forward without thinking, suddenly wanting to kiss him.
But Jesse broke away, moving backwards. "We better hurry, what I have in mind is going to take a while."
It was about then that I took in what I was about to do. And I was going to take it out of him like I always did, but before I could, he tightened his grip on my hand and began to pull me towards his car.